Jed sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her onto his lap. “We’ll leave tomorrow,” he promised her.
“I wished you’d brought your cell phone with you or even some other kind of radio,” she said, laying her cheek against his chest. “Don’t spies—correction, government agents—have wrist radios or something so they can check in with their control officer or whatever?”
His chest rose and fell under her cheek. “This is not a subject open for discussion.”
“Then Daddy should have told me the truth about himself.” Her forehead furrowed in thought. “I don’t think I want any more surprises. I’ve had more than enough, thank you.” She straightened up. “Actually, by rights, I shouldn’t be talking to you.”
“Perhaps I want to talk to you.” He ran his hand down her hair, grimacing when he realized it reached the ends a lot sooner than it used to. “I told you before I left that we needed to talk. Now’s as good a time as any.” Especially when he feared she’d take off for parts unknown the moment he got her back to L.A.
“When you got back were you going to tell me what you really did for a living?” she asked.
“No.”
His low-voiced reply was expected but still hurt. What pained Shelby even more was the absence of regret in his answer. She straightened and would have slid off his lap, but his arms refused to release her.
“What were you going to tell me then?”
Jed rested his chin on top of her head. “I would have reminded you how good we are together. And not just the sex, either.” He tapped her nose when he saw her mouth open with the expected retort. “We never lacked for conversation when we went out. We have similar taste in foods, music and films. We enjoy a lot of the same sports.”
“I wasn’t trying to trap you, Jed.” Shelby spoke hastily, before he could interrupt her again. “I just felt we were coming to a fork in the road in our relationship and I didn’t want to see us as nothing more than a long-term affair. I didn’t want to think that the day would come when you wouldn’t call because you’d found someone else and you didn’t have the courage to tell me so.”
Jed whipped her around to face him. His face was dark with anger. “When I am with one woman, I stay with that woman,” he said fiercely. “I have never been unfaithful to you. And if you want facts and figures, I hadn’t been with anyone for almost a year before I met you.”
“Jed, I trust you.” Her tone gentled. “No man is more honorable than you are. But I feel so uncertain about what’s between us.”
“A piece of paper doesn’t mean a damn thing, nor do words spoken because two parties feel they’re necessary,” Jed said between gritted teeth.
This time Shelby had no problem slipping off his lap. She already felt the loss of his body against hers. Judging by the stormy lights in Jed’s eyes, they were headed for a full-fledged battle.
After that night she had left Jed in his apartment, she sensed he might have pressured her to come back to him, but it would have been on his terms. Other men had asked her to marry them and she had declined because she hadn’t felt anything for them. Now the one man she wanted to marry was in her life, and while he wanted to spend time with her and make love with her, he didn’t want to make a commitment to her. At the moment she wasn’t sure whether to throw something at him or cry. She kept her back to him and walked over to his pack.
“I want to start down today.”
Jed narrowed his eyes at her wooden tone. “It’s too soon.”
“I don’t care. If you won’t take me back now I’ll go by myself. It can’t be all that difficult. All I have to do is go down.” She refused to look at him.
He felt a twisting sensation deep in his gut. It was just like that night. She wouldn’t look at him and she wanted nothing to do with him. He wondered what she’d say if he told her he’d expected this behavior. This was why he never committed himself to anyone —so there was no worry about being left behind later on.
And Shelby would leave him behind. Her life-style dictated it. She was made for traveling the world in a much different manner than he did. While she visited opulent resorts, he was usually traveling through a steamy jungle or an occasional arid desert. She had already intimated she wasn’t too happy to hear the truth about his occupation. Soon she would realize the last thing she needed in her life was a man who could kill without leaving a trace.
Jed knew he cared for Shelby more than he had ever cared for any woman. He thought he had gotten that fact across to her. Not in words, but in the way he worshipped her with his body. What did he have to do to prove himself to her? Give her words that really didn’t mean anything?
Until he saw her flinch he hadn’t realized he’d said it aloud.
Shelby sat down and dragged the shoes over the socks. She winced when she stood up, but managed to walk without limping as she headed for the cave opening.
“I’ll get down myself,” she said just as she disappeared out the opening.
Jed muttered a curse as he jumped to his feet. He gathered up his weapons and the backpack and followed within seconds.
As he started down the mountain he was gratified to see she wasn’t taking the regular trail but making her own path paralleling it. She didn’t turn around when he caught up to her.
“You can’t do this by yourself.”
She kept her eyes straight ahead. “Sure I can.”
He grabbed her arm and spun her around, then winced when her fist connected with his midriff. Jed’s mouth opened and closed as he fought to catch his breath.
“Damn!” Shelby shook her hand. “I think I broke my hand.”
“Don’t expect any sympathy from me,” he wheezed. “What are you trying to do?”
She placed her hands on her hips. “Go to hell.” She spun on one heel and marched off.
“Damn woman,” he muttered, taking off after her.
Jed kept all his senses working overtime as he looked and listened for any sign that they had been spotted. Considering the heavy foliage around them, he feared the men could creep up on them undetected.
“More and more I’m wondering if you’re worth all this trouble,” he grumbled, walking past her and taking the lead.
“More and more I’m wishing you’d remained wherever you were,” she retorted, although she made sure not to speak too loudly.
Jed turned around so swiftly that Shelby was forced to back up a couple steps. The fury etched on his face made her step back another pace.
“You ought to be damn glad I showed up when I did,” he told her in a low voice that fairly vibrated with anger. “Do you have any idea what those men had in store for you?”
“Housekeeping, cooking, probably chopping some wood and hauling water in from the stream along with sharing good ol’ Uncle Eric’s bed,” she retorted, sticking her chin out.
“And when he got tired of you you’d be passed on to the nephews as a new toy,” Jed told her. “I think you can guess which nephew would have you next. That bastard was ready to tear your clothes off and dive into that luscious body of yours. He was so hot and bothered I’m amazed he didn’t turn to steam.” Jed’s eyes raked her figure. “I’m not surprised, considering what you have on.”
Shelby’s eyes narrowed to glowing emerald slits. “Well, pardon me all to hell,” she drawled sarcastically. “If I had known I was going to be pulled out of bed in the middle of the night and dragged halfway up a mountain I would have made sure to wear something more suitable. Khakis and hiking boots, for instance.”
Jed bit down on any further comments he was tempted to make. “The last thing we need to do is fight while we’re out here in the open,” he muttered, spearing his fingers through his hair. The dark locks hung loosely around his shoulders, making him look like the barbarian he felt. A streak of dirt on his cheek and the tear in his jeans and another in his T-shirt furthered the renegade picture he affected without even trying.
He took a deep breath. What would it take fo
r her to understand? He couldn’t remember ever feeling so frustrated about one person. Not sexually frustrated —if he didn’t know any better he’d swear it was a frustration of his emotions. No woman had ever caused the internal turmoil that Shelby had created inside him from the first time he saw her.
“Let’s just get down this damn mountain,” he growled.
Shelby refused to utter one word of complaint as they made their way down. She was positive Jed had deliberately chosen a difficult route as she picked her way around rocks and moved through brush that snagged at her clothing. She was grateful for the protection his shirt gave her as she again stopped to pull a branch from her hair. Her eyes stung from the pain to her scalp but she decided it was a necessary evil.
How come his hair doesn’t get tangled up in bushes and trees? she wondered, casting murderous glares at Jed’s back. He doesn’t trip over rocks, he walks like a damn mountain goat and he never has to stop. She stumbled to a halt and bent over, bracing her hands on her knees. “Excuse me, Kit Carson, but going downhill isn’t turning out to be as easy as going uphill.” She sat down on a rock.
Jed turned around and walked back to her. “We can’t spend a lot of time working on our tans,” he warned her.
Shelby looked skyward. “Where did this sarcastic side of Jed Hawkins come from?” she asked no one in particular. “I remember this soft-spoken, gentle man with an intense side, but I don’t recall Mr. Macho or Mr. Sarcasm.” She turned her head to stare daggers at Jed. “Are you sure you don’t have an identical twin? One good, one bad and I’m just unlucky enough to be stuck with the bad one this time?”
“Why are you trying to tick me off?” he asked in a dangerously soft voice.
“Why are you acting like James Bond on a bad day?” she countered. She sat back, entranced by the dark red color washing his cheekbones. She suddenly felt that wicked excitement of walking a tightrope without a safety net. There was no doubt she was pushing him … hard. And he didn’t like it.
“Get off your bottom and move those feet,” he ordered in that same low, dangerous tone. “As it is, I’m going to need to find us a hiding place tonight.”
She straightened up at that piece of news. “Tonight? What do you mean, tonight? We should be down the mountain by tonight.”
“We’re taking a more circular route for safety’s sake, which is going to take us longer,” he said a bit impatiently. “Not to mention we’re moving at a slower pace.”
“Slower?” she echoed. “We’re going downhill! We should be able to go faster downhill than uphill! I itch, Jed! I’m positive there are bugs nesting in my clothes and hair! My teeth feel as if there’s sand all over them and I’m so dirty I don’t think I’ll ever get clean!”
Jed grabbed her hand and pulled her upright. He used his other hand to grasp the back of her head and hold it still for his kiss, which literally took her breath away. When he pulled back, she was breathing hard and looked glassy eyed. “Then let’s head downhill.” He walked swiftly, still hanging on to her hand.
Shelby had no choice but to keep up if she didn’t want her shoulder dislocated.
“Once upon a time you were a really nice guy,” she gasped.
He quickened his steps, as if he didn’t appreciate her remark. “Yeah, well, sweetheart, you can forget about it. From now on there’s no more Mister Nice Guy,” he practically snarled.
Chapter 8
Shelby told herself to be grateful that Jed had found a fairly comfortable hiding place for the night, even if it wasn’t a cave but a shelf of rocks that hid them from view of anyone who might be walking on one of the regular trails.
“No light tonight, I’m afraid,” he apologized once they were settled on the rocky shelf. “We can’t afford for anyone to see it.”
“Maybe we’ll have a full moon tonight,” she said with a hopeful smile.
“Not tonight.” He pulled out granola bars and handed her one. “There’s no moon, which is in our favor.” He noted her expression of distaste as she stared at the bar. “It’s guaranteed to up your energy level, and you’re going to need all the strength you can get if you want to be down by tomorrow night.”
She wrinkled her nose as she nibbled on her dinner. “It may advertise it gives you plenty of energy, but I, for one, can vouch that it tastes like dirt.”
Jed chuckled. “I thought you said it tasted like dog food.”
She was undeterred. “I’m sure dog food tastes like dirt, too. No wonder I preferred to pass on the outdoor life.” Shelby finished her small meal in record time and sat back, curling her legs under her as she looked down. “Any other time I probably would have thought this was beautiful. I had no idea just how dangerous it could be.”
“Before, you were on the outskirts. That cabin overlooks a lake on one side and forest on the other,” he said, following the direction of her gaze. “But inside you had all the comforts of home, and a car to whisk you to civilization. It’s easy to forget just how dangerous it can be out here. Oh, you might hear a news story about a mountain lion appearing too close to town or a bear attacking, but it always happens to someone else. You forget just how easily it can happen to you.”
“Except my enemy was man,” she murmured. “Do you think the sheriff will be able to track them down and bring them in?”
Jed didn’t want to burst her hopeful bubble, but he didn’t want her to relax her guard, either. He didn’t plan to relax his. He wasn’t going to tell her that he intended to offer to lead a party of men back up here to find Eric and his nephews and bring them in. He wanted Shelby to be the last woman they seized for their own use.
Shelby shifted her position, drawing her knees up under her chin and looping her arms around her drawn-up legs. She looked down at the green expanse of leafy trees and brush spread out before her. She inhaled the sharp tang of pine into her lungs. She continued looking down because it was easier than looking at Jed. Every time she did, she only felt pain. Their walk had helped her work her anger out of her system. Now she just felt hurt that he had chosen to keep his true occupation a secret. She felt that same pain realizing her father had done the same, but Jed was here and Warren wasn’t.
“Would you ever have told me what you really did for a living?”
Jed couldn’t miss the anguish in her voice. He only wished he had the right answer to give her. “Probably not.”
“Because you decided the day would come when we would part company and it would be better I didn’t know?” she asked. “Or perhaps you’d end up shot or dead during one of your assignments or missions or whatever you call them and again, it wouldn’t matter?” She turned her head so she could face him. “What would be the explanation given back here? You were robbed at gunpoint? Airplane or taxi accident? How is it handled?”
He felt uneasy at Shelby’s all too casually voiced question. “It depends on the circumstances.”
“What circumstances?”
For lack of something better to do, he placed his rifle on the ground next to his knife.
“What circumstances, Jed?” she repeated.
“Whether the agent has any family or not,” he murmured. He ignored the strange twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach.
She continued looking at him steadily. “If there is a family?”
He took a deep breath. “Nine times out of ten, the family doesn’t know what kind of work the agent is involved in. They’re notified that there was a fatal accident and they’re taken care of by the agency from then on.”
“And if the agent has no family?” she whispered. “What happens then?”
Jed still didn’t look at Shelby. He recalled a man he’d partnered with many times over the years. A man with no family, no close ties to anyone.
Jed had been the only one present at the memorial service before his partner’s ashes were scattered to the wind. To this day, Jed was positive he was the only one to mourn the passing of a fine individual.
“The body is cremated and the ashe
s scattered,” he said with absolutely no emotion in his voice. For all anyone knew, he could have been talking about the weather.
Shelby was so quiet he wondered if she had heard him. He finally turned to meet her gaze. And he wished he hadn’t. The pity shining from her eyes made him want to lash out at her.
“How sad that anyone would not be mourned and remembered for the good they did,” she whispered. “No one should be forgotten in such a callous way.”
“You forget.” He spoke more roughly than he intended; he was still smarting from what he read in her eyes. “Your father has you to mourn him.”
“Who will mourn you, Jed?” Her soft voice washed over him like liquid satin. “Will I be relegated to overhearing of your demise in casual conversation and learning that your ashes were scattered to the winds with no one there? Who will remember you?”
His eyes flashed with fury—a fury he hated feeling because it showed just how vulnerable he was to her.
“I’ll be dead. It won’t matter that there won’t be anyone to care,” he said in a harsh voice meant to lacerate.
She didn’t change her expression. “Oh, I think it will matter much more than you realize.”
Unwilling to look at Shelby any longer, Jed pushed himself to his feet.
“I’m going to make sure our tracks are covered and that our friends aren’t anywhere close by,” he muttered before taking off. “Don’t go off by yourself before I get back or make too many movements. Sound carries a far distance out here.”
She didn’t say a word, only watched him leave.
Shelby remained in her drawn-up position as she mulled over her conflicting emotions. She had just viewed yet another facet of Jed. After the cold, calculating male animal, she was surprised to see this vulnerable side. She could sense he didn’t like showing this part of his personality any more than he enjoyed showing his harsher side.
No More Mister Nice Guy Page 10