by Sue Horsford
He sat next to her. His whole demeanor was one of humility, yet there was still something commanding about him and when he said, “Ginny, look at me,” she did.
For a moment, he was silent, then he cleared his throat and began to speak, “When I first met you, I was surprised you wanted to be with me. You were so young and beautiful. I was flattered.”
She seemed to relax slightly. He went on, his voice soft and calming, as if speaking to a wild animal. “But, Ginny, we never would have lasted more than a few months. We had nothing in common, really. We don’t like the same things and I was much too old for you. You would’ve tired of me eventually.”
“So, you thought you’d get the older version?” she said bitterly.
He shook his head. “No. It wasn’t like that. I don’t make a habit of falling for married women.”
Ginny looked down at the bag Gabriel had placed on the floor by the sofa. “Have you been for a picnic together? How romantic.”
He shook his head slowly. “That night at your friend’s party, I was a bastard, I admit it. I knew you hadn’t just invited me as a friend. I knew you thought we might get back together, but I knew there was no point so I behaved like a total prick.”
“You were chatting up that blonde trollop right in front of me!”
“Yes, and I was out of order. But then I went out into the garden and Faye was standing there with some idiot harassing her and… All I wanted was to be with her.”
“And what did she say when you told her?” she demanded, addressing Gabriel, but throwing me a look of pure venom. “Did she say, ‘Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly. You’re my sister’s ex-boyfriend?’ Well?”
“I didn’t tell her right away. But later on, I sent her a text. I told her I needed to see her, so she came to my house after she left you.”
“And is that when you fucked her?”
Gabriel hesitated and glanced over at me.
I found my voice. “Ginny. I’m so sorry. I’d been feeling the same about Gabriel and I know it was wrong. I know I should have walked away. But…I just couldn’t.” Every lie left a sour taste in my mouth, but I could never tell her the truth. Not if I wanted to mend my relationship with her and I did want that, very much.
Ginny sat silently for a moment. She looked at her hands then up at Gabriel, her eyes full of pain.
“It was that morning when I took the pregnancy test,” she said quietly. Gabriel didn’t answer and she said, “Would it have made any difference?”
Gabriel shook his head. “I dare say if you’d told me that morning, the whole day would have panned out differently. But as for the end result? No, Faye and I were meant to be together. I really believe that, Ginny, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am that we’ve hurt you like this.”
No one spoke for a moment.
Finally, I said, “So, where do we go from here?”
Ginny stared at me as if I were mad. “Well, I suppose you two go off into the sunset and live happily ever after. As for me, I’m off to the nearest abortion clinic.”
Gabriel flinched as if she’d slapped him. “No,” he said sharply.
I stared at him in surprise. More than anything in the world, I wished Ginny wasn’t pregnant, but now she was, I couldn’t bear to think of her getting rid of Gabriel’s child. Was it possible that Gabriel felt the same?
Ginny looked just as surprised. “It wasn’t meant to be like this,” she said. “I wasn’t meant to be left on my own with a kid. I knew you didn’t want to get serious, but I thought perhaps a baby would change things. If I’d known you were in love with my sister, I wouldn’t have bothered.” She rested one hand on her belly. “This is your fault, Gabriel, and, unless you can make me a better offer, I’ll make an appointment at the clinic tomorrow.”
“Ginny, I can’t be there in the way you want,” he said. “And I really am sorry about that. And I’m sorry for the way I reacted when you told me. It was a shock, but that was no excuse for behaving the way I did.”
“You were horrible to me,” she said, sounding like a little girl.
“I know, and I realize I don’t deserve to be a part of your life anymore. But I would like to try and be friends if you’ll let me. I want to be there for this baby.”
Ginny looked thoughtful. “If I made you choose between Faye and the baby, who would you choose?” She held up her hand before he could speak. “No, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”
She turned to me. “What about you, auntie? Or will you be the wicked step-mother? It’s all a bit incestuous, isn’t it?”
“I’ll be there for you, too, if you’ll have me.”
Ginny laughed, a little hysterically. “Do you know what’s funny? Now that I see you two together, you’re actually really well-suited. I always thought you could do better than Paul, Faye.” She laughed again. “I was never really in love with you, Gabriel, and I don’t actually care what you do with your life. It’s the deception I can’t get my head round. My own sister stabbing me in the back.” She stood up. “You’d better make damn sure you’re there for me, Gabriel.”
“We both will,” I promised. I went over to her, wanting to give her a hug, but she pulled away, a look of revulsion on her face that cut me in two.
She gave a tight smile. “It’s a bit soon for that, don’t you think?” She turned to Gabriel. “I hope this kid doesn’t turn out like you.”
Gabriel nodded. “Me, too.”
Ginny shook her head and grimaced. “I’m out of here.”
“Do you want us to go instead?” I asked her.
“No, you two stay here and enjoy each other.” She laughed. “I had a look in your suitcase, Gabriel. You never told me you were such a kinky bastard. Maybe I had a lucky escape.”
She walked to the door, opened it and gazed around at the inside of the cottage. “It wasn’t my fault, you know. I used to feel bad for you, the way he always put me first.” She smiled. “Never mind, you got your own back in the end, didn’t you?” And with that, she was gone, closing the door quietly behind her.
I waited a moment, half-expecting her to come back, but I heard the sound of her car driving away. I looked bleakly at Gabriel. “Will she be all right, do you think?”
The last word came out as a sob and instantly Gabriel was on his feet. He crossed the room in a couple of strides and enfolded me in his arms, holding me tightly against his chest.
I’d expected a row, but Paul was very cool. “Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted to leave me for him?” he asked, “instead of letting me ramble on like an idiot, trying to make things better.” There was no emotion in his voice. It was as if he’d already moved on.
“I’m sorry, Paul. I was trying not to hurt you.”
“Oh, that’s decent of you. Well, just so you know, I’ll be seeing a solicitor tomorrow about a divorce and I’ll be putting the house up for sale. Unless you and your boyfriend would like to buy me out?”
“Oh. Er…no.”
“You can tell him he’ll have to find another architect for his dream home. Your dream home now, I suppose.” He laughed. “Until he throws you over for a younger model.” He laughed again. “I still can’t believe he chose you over Ginny.” Then there was a click and I realized he’d put the phone down on me.
I put my phone down on the bedside table and wandered over to the window. The sun had disappeared, as if it couldn’t bear to shine on us anymore, leaving the sky the color of wet slate. I looked across to the hills, where only this afternoon, life had seemed so carefree, where it had been easy to shut out everyone from my mind except Gabriel. But now it was time to face the consequences.
Until this moment, I’d harbored a crazy notion that one day Paul and I would be able to be friends, but I knew now that could never happen and I also knew I’d cut out a piece of my own heart. For all that our marriage had become old and stale, he’d been my dearest friend once and for one uncertain moment, I had the sickening thought—was it worth it?
&nb
sp; The floorboards creaked and Gabriel was behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my head. The hole in my heart began to heal.
Gabriel kissed my hair. “Are you okay, darling?”
I nodded. “I’m glad it’s all out in the open and it’s not hanging over us anymore.”
Gabriel hugged me hard. “I’m glad, too.”
We stood in silence for a few minutes, gazing out over the darkening sky.
A thought occurred to me. “At what point did you decide you were going to be a part of the baby’s life?”
“It was your letter,” he said. “What you said about not being loved by your father. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind of you as a lonely little girl, just wanting your daddy to show you some affection.” He squeezed me so tightly I could hardly breathe. “It broke my heart, babe.”
I thought I heard a catch in his voice, but he cleared his throat and gave me a little slap on the behind. “Go and wash your face. We’re going out to eat.”
I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”
“It wasn’t a request,” came the reply.
Despite my pain, I smiled. “I do love you, Gabriel.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
For a moment, I couldn’t think why the alarm was going off at eight o’clock, then, with a thrill, I remembered. Today was the day I was to begin my training.
Last night in bed, there’d been a sadness and a poignancy to our lovemaking, a sense that nothing would ever be the same again, and I’d fallen asleep in his arms, tears drying on my cheeks.
But this morning, I’d woken up determined to be positive. I really didn’t have the right to cry myself to sleep. I had everything I wanted, and what I wanted right now was a bit of good old-fashioned kink.
Gabriel had written a list for me before he came to bed and left it on the dressing table.
1. Shower—don’t get dressed.
2. Have breakfast.
3. Bring your Master’s breakfast on a tray—scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice. Bring your collar, kneel naked by the bed and wait for orders.
I glanced over at the bed, but Gabriel appeared to be asleep so I hurried into the bathroom to carry out the first of his instructions then went downstairs to carry out the other two. Walking around the cottage naked, with the cool air against my skin, aroused me incredibly, my nakedness and vulnerability reminding me with every movement that I was owned by Gabriel.
After I’d eaten, I prepared my Master’s breakfast and took it upstairs. Gabriel was already sitting up in bed. I put the tray on the bedside table then brought my collar to him and knelt by the bed.
Gabriel swung his legs round so he was sitting on the side of the bed. He leaned down and fastened the collar around my neck. I caught my breath at the touch of his fingers on my skin but I kept my eyes modestly downcast.
Gabriel stroked my hair. “Good morning, kitten.”
“Good morning, Sir.”
“You’re kneeling with your knees together, my pet. When you kneel before me, your knees should be apart so you’re exposed to me. I want your hands clasped together behind your back so your breasts are jutting forward and I want your head bowed. Do you understand, pet?”
His tone was gentle yet commanding, and I hurried to obey him.
He began to eat, paying no further attention to me. It was a peculiar feeling. On the one hand, I was being given about as much attention as a piece of furniture. Gabriel seemed oblivious to my presence. On the other hand, I knew the slightest movement or sound from me would bring his attention sharply back to me. I knew he was acutely aware of my degree of compliance and this made me feel more significant than if he’d been giving me his direct attention.
Gabriel finished eating and got to his feet. “Come with me.”
I stood, too, and he led me over to the corner of the room where there was a tall wooden linen chest with a leather seat.
“Bend over,” he ordered.
Was I about to get a spanking? If so, the box seemed made for the purpose. It was just the right height and width that, when my legs were straight and my feet were flat on the floor, my torso would fit perfectly across the seat. Gabriel strode over to his suitcase, but I couldn’t see what he was getting out of it and I quivered in anticipation. He knelt at the side of the box, holding the roll of bondage tape.
“When I’m satisfied your arm is healed, we’ll start using rope and I’ll hog-tie you on the floor, but for now, we’ll start off with something a little more civilized.”
I wanted to ask him what hog-tying was, but I didn’t want to seem as if I was questioning my Master. So I kept quiet while he wrapped the shiny black tape around the box several times, imprisoning my arms and legs.
He went back to his suitcase and when he returned, he touched my ass with his fingers slippery with lubricant. I caught my breath. Was he going to fuck me in the ass? Was I ready for that yet? Gabriel eased his middle finger inside me and swiveled it around, crooking the tip of his finger to press against my inner wall, making me squirm with pleasure.
“I’m going to fuck this ass before we go back home,” he promised me, “but I need to prepare you first.” He withdrew his finger then pressed something hard against my entrance. I gasped as he pushed the plug inside me. Surely this wasn’t the same plug as last time. It was huge!
“Can you take that, sweetheart?” asked Gabriel. “It’s bigger than last time.”
“Yes, Sir,” I managed to whisper.
“Good girl. We’ll do this every morning, using a bigger plug each day until you’re ready for me.”
He left me for a few minutes while he went to the bathroom and washed his hands. Then he came back and he stood in front of me.
“Now open your mouth.” He pushed a rubber ball between my lips. “How’s that? Can you breathe okay?”
“Uh-huh,” I said, nodding. My jaws were forced apart by the gag and I couldn’t remember ever feeling so helpless.
“Good.” He fastened the leather straps around the back of my head. “I won’t leave you like this for too long today. I don’t want your beautiful mouth to get sore.” He gave me a slap on the ass. “This is about humiliation, not pain, so make a noise if you need to say your safe word.” With that, he crossed over to the armchair in the opposite corner of the room.
From my position bent over the box, I couldn’t see him, but I could feel his gaze on me. It was humiliating, being restrained like this, gagged at one end and plugged at the other, but it was also unbelievably erotic. I wasn’t safe, boring Faye Austin anymore. I was dirty, hard-core, Gabriel’s whore. I knew my pussy would be dripping for him. The edge of the leather seat was pressing against my clitoris and I tried to subtly rub against it, desperate for some relief.
Instantly, Gabriel was on his feet and at my side. “Is my baby trying to pleasure herself?” He spoke gently, as if he was sympathetic to my need, and I whimpered and nodded.
“And is she allowed to pleasure herself without asking her Master’s permission?” he asked. He continued to speak softly, but I knew I was in big trouble and I whimpered again as I shook my head.
He undid the straps of the gag and eased the ball from my mouth.
“What do you have to say to me?” he asked sternly.
I knew he was about to punish me and I knew it would hurt, but the thought of it only increased my excitement.
“I’m sorry, Sir,” I said. “I’ve been a…a dirty slut.” I didn’t know where the idea to say that came from, but it just seemed the right thing to say.
“A dirty slut?” Gabriel sounded pleased at that. “Yes, you have been a dirty slut. And whose dirty slut are you?”
“I’m your dirty slut, Master.” I wondered whether it was possible to have an orgasm from words alone. I was certainly very close.
“That’s right, my little slut, my dirty little whore.” He took hold of the end of the butt plug, twisting it inside me. “What happens to little sluts who diso
bey their Masters?”
“They get punished, Master.” Suddenly I wasn’t playing anymore, if I ever had been. I was Gabriel’s little slut, his whore, his submissive. Whatever he wanted me to be, I was it. This was dark, but it was sweet and it was beyond beautiful.
“And what do you think I should use to punish you, slut? Do you think I should spank you with my hand?”
I hesitated and Gabriel fisted his hand in my hair and pulled my head up. “I’m giving you the chance to choose your own punishment, little slut. But be careful. If you don’t choose a severe enough implement, I’ll choose for you and I might choose something worse.” He leaned down so he could speak into my ear. “I’ve brought all the implements with me, and I do mean all.”
What a conundrum. Did I go straight for the serious stuff or try to play it safe? I tried to remember everything I’d seen hanging up in his cupboard. The crop and the flogger were for play, I knew that much, but what about the leather paddle? Was that enough?
I remembered the first time he’d punished me, that night in his bedroom, when I’d pushed against his fingers. The belt had really hurt but I suddenly knew it was what I needed.
“Please, Sir. I deserve the belt,” I said, my voice quivering.
“Good girl,” he said approvingly.
He went over to his bag. Then I caught my breath at the familiar sound of the belt, bent double, being slapped against his palm. He placed his hand on the small of my back. Crack! Gabriel brought the belt down across my buttocks so hard that, if I hadn’t been restrained, I would have jumped up.
“Owwww. One, Sir.”
He brought the strap down again, hitting exactly the same spot, and I yelped.
“Aaaahh. Two, Sir.”
Then he pushed his fingers inside me, moving them in and out and rubbing them against my clitoris. “You’re so wet, little slut,” he said. “See how wet you are.” He reached round and wiped his fingers on my face, smearing me with my own juices. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you, slut?”
“Yes, Sir,” I gasped.
He stepped back and the belt bit into my flesh, but this time I welcomed the pain. Pleasure…pain…it was all the same to me now.