A twig snapped behind me, but I’d already felt someone was there.
“Why are you following me?” I kept my tone cool and turned my head slightly toward the forest. The outline of a black wolf with clear blue eyes concealed itself in the shadows.
Blue magic sparkled, and the wolf morphed into the very person I was avoiding—though not because I wanted to. I didn’t want to do that one bit. In fact, it took every ounce of willpower I could muster not to race to him, throw my arms around his neck and smother him with kisses. Whether we would have ended up as a couple or not, I missed him as a friend, and I missed our tutoring sessions.
I faced the vista again, my stomach doing flops.
Aspen’s shoes crunched on the pine needles as he approached. I closed my eyes and took a settling breath. You have to do this, Josy. Make it work.
“It’s not that safe out here after dark without magic to protect you.” Aspen’s voice was gentle.
Logic told me to snap at him and make him go away. I’d learned in Henrik’s diary that the curse prohibiting us from loving any non-Morelli romantically was very real. I had no idea why my mom had tried to defy it by falling in love with Dad. She had to have known better—her brother made sure of that. Maybe she was trying to tempt fate. Maybe she and my father simply loved each other too much to resist the pull of being together. But their decision had risked me, too. As far as I knew, I was the only half-Morelli who’d even survived without dying at birth or shortly after.
I would not risk Aspen’s life or my own. It was not fair for me to do it.
“I’m just fine, and I do not need your protection.” I crossed my arms over my chest and hugged my torso, not only to keep the cold air at bay but also to protect myself emotionally.
Aspen paused at my side, and a puff of air left his nose. All sorts of tingles invaded my entire body because of his presence. This was not going to work.
I glanced at him. He was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a coat similar to mine. As usual, his backward baseball cap fit snugly on his head. Sadness hung in his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. “Maybe I was just coming out here to think, too, and you just happened to be here. This was my spot first—not that I mind sharing.”
To calm my trembling, I folded my hands and squeezed my fingers.
He continued, “When I saw you, I wanted to make sure that you were okay. That’s all.”
I pursed my lips, and embarrassment burned the skin of my neck. I’d assumed he’d followed me.
“Holly and Emiko are worried about you, too.”
“Did they tell you that?” I turned from him to keep up the façade that I didn’t really want him here.
“Holly won’t tell me much of anything, but I saw Emiko after dinner, and she caved without me even asking.” Aspen sat on the rock’s corner, keeping several feet between us. He turned to look at me. “Why won't you tell me why you don’t want to see me anymore? Everything was going great, and then out of nowhere you tell me we’re not possible.”
My stomach tightened. I do want to see you. So badly that it hurts some days. I caught the words in my throat. I could never let them out—never. Doing so would be a death sentence. “I’ve already explained that to you, Aspen. I’ve been through way too much in the past few months. My grandmother died, and then I came here and found out that The Side of Magic even exists. My cat talks, and I have a ghost for a roommate. Not to mention that I come from a long line of murderers and people who basically want to take over The Other Side! It’s a lot, you know.” Saying otherwise would mean I’d have to tell him the whole truth.
Aspen tipped his chin to his chest. “Maybe us could have kind of normalized the experience.”
Frustration swirled in my chest because the same unwelcome thought had rolled through my mind at least a hundred times. Having Aspen as a boyfriend would have been one of the most normal things in the world for a seventeen-year-old girl. But I couldn’t tell him that. Better to let our relationship fade away.
“Dating is too distracting. I need to focus on figuring out how my magic even works. Since the night of the Morelli battle, I’ve barely gotten any further on developing it. I can’t be the only person around here who can’t use her magic. Professor Magnolis is having trouble figuring out how she is going to justify passing me for Spellcasting class.”
“Maybe if you had a good tutor . . .” Aspen mumbled and shuffled his feet on the ground.
I clicked my tongue. “You know that’s unfair.”
“You know it’s true.”
Aspen was unaware, but Professor Magnolis had been allowing me to come in after class and work with her. Even so, the simplest of spells were still a disaster. I was nearly certain I needed access to Morelli spell books before my magic would truly manifest. I’d done some poking around the library, but despite Professor Lakeshore's insistence that a basement floor housed secret books, I hadn’t been able to find it. And straight out asking the stuffy librarian, Mr. Bay, or even Professor Magnolis seemed incredibly risky since she’d told me I was not ready for more Morelli magic. Nine had even done some poking around for me, and he hadn’t found anything either. Lakeshore said getting to the books would take some powerful magic, and either he was right or the books didn’t exist.
“You know it’s said that Morelli and the witches and wizards can’t be together. There’s a curse.” I don’t know why those words came out of my mouth. I hadn’t mentioned the curse to Aspen since I’d learned about it.
Aspen wrinkled his nose and said exactly what Holly thought he’d say. “That is a bunch of nonsense that gets told to children in ghost stories. No one really believes it.”
I stood wordlessly and walked closer to the canyon’s edge.
“Is that what’s bothering you? Did Rosalee tell you something stupid and you broke up with me because of it?”
I couldn’t tell Aspen that Professor Lakeshore had actually died after telling me this and that I had a diary that pretty much confirmed everything. The less Aspen knew, the better. I swore under my breath for even bringing up the topic, but I couldn’t bear continuing this ridiculous charade that I didn’t want to be around him. I wanted him to know the truth.
I spun around only to find Aspen standing less than a foot from me. We hadn’t been this close for two months. His chest heaved, and his brow was furrowed with what might be hope. My breath hitched at his proximity, and the magnetic force that was so strong between us pulled at my heart and body. To counter the temptation of falling into his embrace, I quickly swung around to the view again and released a long stream of air.
“I can understand that you want to keep focused on your studies . . . believe me, I get that. And I imagine that everything you’ve learned about magic being real recently would be a shock. But the curse thing? That’s pretend.”
“My parents are dead.”
Aspen released a sigh and placed his hand on my shoulder. “But you’re not. Their death was a complete coincidence. Not proof that the curse is real.”
Nearly melting into his touch, I closed my eyes and attempted to center myself. I mustered up all my strength to say what I was about to. “Listen, Aspen. There are a lot of reasons we can’t be together. Maybe the curse is real, and maybe it’s not, but the bottom line is that this is not going to happen. Period.” Saying the words stabbed at my middle, but as much as I hated saying them, they needed to be voiced. Neither Aspen nor I could continue like this with the threat of the curse hanging over us.
His hand fell from my shoulder. It took everything for me not to turn and reach out for him, but I kept my gaze forward. Dirt crunched as he stepped away from me. He released a deep, pained sigh that twisted my stomach.
Blue magic sparked in the corner of my vision. I slowly turned to see the backside of a black wolf disappearing into the shadows just as flecks of white snow floated through the air.
Chapter 2
I opened the sack of scrambled eggs with cut-up turkey sausage and p
oured the contents into a bowl on my desk. “What a spoiled cat,” I muttered. “You want your breakfast, Nine?”
He groaned from the bed and rolled over to expose his belly, back legs splayed out—seemingly not a care in the world. Typical.
Merrygold chuckled from the other desk chair where she sat with her back tall. She had been studying the new books I’d brought her from the library. The one she was working on now was titled Phantoms and Their Haunted Souls. She still was hoping to figure out a way for her to move on or at least be able to leave the dorm room. So far, the only option other than being in here all the time was to go to a place where there was nothing. I didn’t completely understand it, but she’d told me it was a good space to get some privacy and think. The problem was she was all alone there, too. So it wasn’t a solution. I’d asked her if she wanted me to inform her family that her spirit hadn’t moved on, but she didn’t want to worry them, and there was little they could do. They’d only end up feeling guilty for her predicament. I’d respected her wishes. Anyway, I’m not sure how happy they’d have been to have a half Morelli contact them about their daughter’s ghost.
“Whatever.” I left the bowl where it was. “You can eat it later.”
The cat’s mouth fell open, and he let out a snort.
I glanced at Merrygold, both of us doing our best to hold in our laughter. But the moment passed too quickly, and heaviness settled back over me.
“You were out at Eagle’s Height again last night, weren’t you?” Merrygold returned her attention to her book and flipped the page. She tried to act nonchalant about my sneaking out on weekends, but I knew she was worried about me, just like Holly and Emiko.
“Aspen was there too.”
“What?” She stared at me. “Why?”
I flopped into my desk chair and spun it around in a three-sixty. “It was his spot first.”
Merrygold tipped her head and quirked her brows but returned to the book.
“I told him that I know about the curse.”
“And?” Merrygold flipped another page.
“And he doesn’t believe it means anything—just like everyone else.” I stood, walked to the window, and pulled open the curtains, allowing morning light to stream into the room. Outside a white dusting of snow covered everything. The tiny storm had cleared, but the word was that we’d see more tonight. Nine threw a paw over his eyes to block the light.
“Have you considered that Lakeshore might have been incorrect?” Merrygold asked. “People have died too many times over things they were wrong about.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and darted my eyes to the drawer holding Henrik’s diary. “Of course I’ve considered that, but you’ve seen the diary too.” Merrygold wasn’t entirely convinced, although she had read the book at least three times. Unlike her and everyone else here, I wasn’t raised on The Side of Magic, so I could see through the tales the Directorate had woven to maintain their grip on power. Maybe there was also a part of me that wanted to see that the Morelli had been wronged hundreds of years ago. Proving they could be good would confirm my goodness and that I belonged here as much as anyone else.
Merrygold said, “Aspen really likes you.”
Her words stabbed at my chest, and I pinched the bridge of my nose. I liked Aspen, too, but risking death for either of us was not an option. What if what we had turned into true love and released the curse’s effects?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound as if I were making light of the situation. I know this is serious.” Merrygold vanished for a second and reappeared next to Nine. She waved her hand over his face, and a weak glow of fiery magic emanated from her palm. Nine’s paw twitched, and then he rubbed his nose.
Even as a ghost, Merrygold still had some minor control over her magic. It mostly came in handy to pester and haunt people—or cats. I think she liked using it on Nine the most.
Hey! I’m trying to sleep here! Nine popped open one eye, then the other, and flipped onto his belly. He yawned and then shook his head.
“What did you find last night at the library?” Merrygold demanded.
Nine yawned again and peered at us with half-closed eyes. “I’m not your servant, you know. A cat does what he wants when he wants to do it.”
“Oh, give me a break, Nine.” I sat on the end of my bed and reached into my bookbag on the floor to make sure I had everything I needed for the next couple hours. Inside was the seemingly useless Spellcasting book and my freshly cleaned navy workout uniform. Phys Ed was up at 8:00 a.m., and with the snow, I wasn’t sure what we’d be doing today. Maybe we were in the gym next to the South Lawn. “You love prowling all over the place.”
He stood and arched his back. Yeah. Where I want to go. Since you’ve had me on this library mission, I haven’t had nearly as much time to dig up dirt on the staff and find out what’s going on outside of the Academy.
“And what dirt do you need to find out about the staff?” Merrygold placed her hand on her hip.
Information is important. Nine sat and gave his tail a quick swipe with his pink tongue.
“I know. But information about the library is important to me right now,” I said. “If there are Morelli spell and history books on this campus, I need to know about them.”
Look at all the trouble knowing too much got Professor Lakeshore wrapped up in. Nine leaped from the end of the bed to my desk and began feasting on his breakfast. As usual, he made little grunting sounds as he gulped his food.
Merrygold and I exchanged exasperated looks.
“I could have killed people because I didn’t know enough. Why didn’t you tell me about the curse? You should have known from my parents.”
Nine lifted his head enough to eye me while still eating. I didn’t know. It’s not as if your parents shared everything with me. I never heard them speak of it. He returned his entire face to the bowl.
I sighed. “That’s exactly why I need access to those books. To figure out if I’m overreacting or not.”
Nine sat up, licking his whiskers, and quickly brought his paw to his mouth. He alternated licking it and cleaning his face. I did find a small crawlspace into the attic.
“Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” I demanded and marched up to him.
Nine placed his paw on the desktop and glanced at me. You barely gave me a chance to wake up. I think much more clearly when I have a full stomach. He peered down at his empty food bowl. Maybe a sprinkling of cheddar next time?
“Nine!” Merrygold joined me at my side and gave Nine a scowl.
Okay, okay. Below the roof in back is an overhang. It’s not easy to get to, but I’m always looking to push myself. I climbed the large tree on the building’s west side and was able to get there. Directly under the overhang is a small opening into the attic space.
“And you got inside?” I lowered myself into the chair in front of him.
There wasn’t much in there. Some old books. Not as many mice as I might have hoped.
“But could a person get into the library at night through that hole?” I asked.
Nine squinted as he eyed me up and down. You are not as large as most people, but it would be a tight squeeze. And without magic, I’m not sure you would even be able to get to the library roof. There’s no way those tree limbs could support much more than the weight of a cat by the time you crawled to the end.
My heart sank. During the day, I simply could not snoop around enough inside the library. What I really needed was uninterrupted time without eyes on me. “There must be an easier way.” I looked at Merrygold, but if she had the answers, she wasn’t saying.
If there is, I haven’t found it. Nine leaped back to the bed and plopped down. Do you mind if I go back to sleep now?
I waved my hand dismissively, stood, and gathered my bag and coat. “I need to get to class anyway. Sleep the day away for all I care.”
Chapter 3
No one was at the South Lawn except a few black crows flying overhead. A
pparently, everyone else but me had gotten the memo that Phys Ed was meeting in another location.
I pulled my coat a little tighter and trudged across the snow-coated grass to the Wisteria Gymnasium. The building was much like the others on campus. The façade was made of stone, but the gym had a large bay of floor-to-ceiling windows to let in as much natural light as possible.
I pulled open the double glass doors and saw several students running laps on the open track. Beyond them was the main gym where Professor Clementine barked orders at students holding long, silver fencing swords and wearing masks and white suits. The professor had a bright purple pixie cut and a knack for motivating her classes. Her personality was coarser than I liked, but I didn’t mind her. She’d never once treated me differently than any other student.
My shoulders slumped at the sight of the swords, though. I had blocked out the fact that we would start fencing this week. Great, twenty students who weren’t exactly my best friends armed with swords. There were Academy rules about using unauthorized magic, but I hadn’t seen any about stabbing other classmates.
And class had already started without me. I was late.
The wind gusted and smacked the door shut behind me. Shoulders still slumped, I crossed the track to the changing rooms, threw on my shorts and T-shirt, secured my hair in a low, messy bun and quickly made my way to the gym to take whatever was coming to me.
“Miss Barrows.” Professor Clementine’s matter-of-fact voice stopped me in my tracks before I got two feet onto the gym floor. “You are late.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where the class was meeting.”
She eyed me and then gestured with her head to the small pile of one-piece fencing uniforms, black facemasks, and swords.
I nodded and jogged over to them, positive there would not be one to fit my tiny frame. Picking through the five remaining suits I discovered I was right, but I found one that would do and sat on a bench to pull it on. As I did, I counted the students in the class. Instead of the normal twenty, there were thirty-two. We must have been combined with another class, but since each student was wearing a mask, I couldn’t tell which one.
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