by Clare Lydon
Both boys got a bit freaked out by the darkness of the reptile house – they weren’t alone. However, the big hit of the day was the aquarium where we did indeed find Nemo, much to the delight of all four of us.
After an hour and a half of wandering round the zoo we all needed a break. Kate spied one of the outdoor cafés and we grabbed one of the wooden picnic tables beside it, feeding the kids chips and cokes while we added hot dogs to our orders. All around us parents and kids were eating additive-laden foods and planning their next animal adventure.
As I wiped some ketchup from Freddie’s mouth and helped him out of his jacket, I caught the eye of a lesbian couple passing by. We exchanged the lesbian look – it’s a bit like when bus drivers acknowledge each other, albeit with fewer buses. I smiled, before swallowing down some more headache pills with a swig of Coke.
“Still feeling it?” Kate asked from across the table.
I nodded, while she grinned at me.
“You do know we’re presenting as the poster alternative family unit here don’t you?” I said.
“It’s crossed my mind,” she said. She kissed the top of Luke’s head as he ate his chips with utmost concentration. “I think we make a great-looking unit. Ever thought about having some?”
“Not really,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “It’s the pushing them out that scares me.”
“Yeah, but when they turn out as cute as this – and let’s face it, yours or mine stand a good chance of looking fairly similar – it might be worth it. I fancy it in a few years.” She shielded her eyes from the sun as it dipped out from behind a cloud.
“Besides, you could always get your other half to push them out – advantages of being a lesbian no.37,” she added. I chuckled as Kate grinned at me, giving Luke another squeeze. Then a razor-sharp smile zipped across her features and she shot me a look.
“Oh, by the way – I forgot to tell you.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you.”
I looked confused as I took Freddie’s chips from his tiny hands and replaced them with a drink. He looked happy with the swap. I wrinkled my forehead.
“Tell me what?”
“That Lucy was there last night. With all the Ange excitement this morning I forgot.”
“Lucy? Where?” My attention was caught.
“At the club. She just got back from Oz last week. She asked after you. That was of course before she knew you were a toxic heartbreaker and to be steered clear of. But she wasn’t to know, was she?”
“What did she say?” I was sitting up straight now, my interest piqued as my entire body flooded with warmth. When did I turn into such a harpy? Luke chose this inopportune moment to jump off Kate’s lap and hop around, clutching his trousers. Kate held up her hand.
“Let me take him and I’ll be back.”
“Kate…” I whined as she disappeared to the toilet with Luke. It was wrong to be chastising my nephew for a toilet break but I couldn’t help it. Two minutes later and they were back.
“So?”
“Hmmm?”
“Kate…” I said. She sat Luke back at the table. “Was Lucy there with anyone?”
“Yeah, her cousin I think,” she replied. “Quite cute actually. Why?”
“No reason. What did she look like – her cousin?”
“Why?”
“Did she have blonde hair, long?”
“Yeah she did,” Kate said. She arched an eyebrow. “Hang on, are you interested in her cousin now?”
A wave of relief washed through me. It was her cousin, not her new girlfriend. Her cousin. That’ll teach me to jump to conclusions.
“So what did she say?” I said. I couldn’t stop a huge smile lighting up my face.
“She asked how you were, if you’d found a job – she asked more questions than she needed to, let’s put it that way. Caroline agreed and she’s known her a long time. Her face had that slightly odd look on it when she was asking about you. The same one you’re giving me now when you’re asking about her. A bit goofy,” Kate said.
I pursed my lips then smiled.
“But she had a gorgeous voice if I remember correctly.”
“Heartless wench.”
“I still got it, though,” I said.
“LL Cool J you are,” she replied.
I paused while Freddie slurped the last of his Coke. Lucy still liked me. Thank you, love gods and goddesses.
“You finished, Freddie?” I said. He nodded, a man of few words.
“What about you, Luke? What was your favourite thing so far?”
“I think the chips,” he said, putting another in his mouth.
“Chips!” said Freddie, clapping his hands and kicking his tiny heels against my shins. It hurt quite a lot.
“Aunty Jess?” Luke said.
“Yes?”
“I love chips – do you?”
“Course I do – you’d be mad not to. Only a stupid person wouldn’t love chips.”
“That’s what I think!” Luke said, smiling at my answer. It was definitely a bonding moment. Fifteen minutes later we were all chipped up and ready for more zoo.
“Well let’s get ready to go then – and if you’re good, Aunty Kate might buy you an ice-cream.” I winked at Kate.
“You better be good then, hadn’t you?” she said to me, before plonking Freddie in his buggy.
As we walked off towards the hippos with Luke and Freddie jibbering to each other in their buggies, I felt a stirring of familial satisfaction. This was definitely something London offered that I couldn’t get in Oz – family bonding with my nephews and dyke-in-law. Today was just what the doctor ordered and I’d managed to scramble through it admirably. I thought about Ange but shoved that thought to the back of my mind. Then I thought about Lucy and grinned anew. Perhaps this weekend hadn’t been such a blowout, after all.
Chapter 14
Julia turned up at the café the following week for lunch, her face carrying a vaguely cross look which dissolved as soon as I gave her a sheepish one. She was wearing a Columbo-style mac that seemed to be the choice of the modern-day professional when the weather took a turn for the better.
To soften her mood I sat her down with one of Matt’s speciality goat’s cheese & red onion tarts, along with a glass of posh fizzy orange I knew she loved simply because it had a French name. It certainly worked as Julia’s eyes lit up at my offerings. However, I knew I wouldn’t be off the hook for long.
“So when you said you didn’t mind sleeping with her so long as she didn’t open her mouth, I thought you were kidding,” she said, tucking into her lunch. I could tell she wanted to be cross but the tart was working its magic.
“This is really good, by the way,” she said. “You didn’t make this, did you?” She shovelled another forkful into her mouth and savoured.
“No – this one is Matt’s speciality,” I said. “And don’t speak with your mouthful.”
She looked over at Matt serving behind the counter.
“He’s single, right?”
“Yes Miss Matchmaker.”
“Well you can mock all you like but it wasn’t me who messed it up.” She paused. “I might just have someone for Matt. Would he be interested in dating?”
“He’s desperate, so I’m guessing yes.”
She shook her head.
“How can he be desperate? I thought there was a shortage of eligible straight guys. He’s got his own business and a full head of hair – you’d have thought people would be queuing up to grab him.”
I shrugged.
“Leave it with me,” she said and then waggled her finger in my direction. “But you’re not off the hook. It’s a good job Ange is not in my department, that’s all I can say.”
“Better to be honest though, eh?”
“Or just not to shag them and leave them? I’m not giving up, though – it’s my mission in life to get everybody happily coupled,” she said.
“But we can’t all be like you and To
m now can we?”
“God forbid,” she laughed. “Look, I have to run as soon as I’ve finished this,” she said, checking her watch.
“So you just came in to berate me?”
“Yes, but I don’t have time to do it properly – I have a wedding to organise, remember? You have got the hen do booked out, right?”
“I have it stained on my eyeballs. When I try to look forward, that’s all I can see.”
“Just the way it should be,” she said.
Lying on my bed later on, I texted Tess on the off chance she’d be around to Skype. Her text came back at lightning pace, saying she had BIG NEWS in capital letters. I logged on, sitting up and making sure neither me nor my room looked a tip. But then I reminded myself I wasn’t talking to my mum or the Queen.
Tess appeared on the screen in jeans and her favourite blue T-shirt, waving in an animated fashion as people tend to do on Skype. It’s a strange facet of human nature.
“Hey Jess, how are you?” she asked from the other side of the world.
“All right. You’re looking very chipper for 8am.”
“Well, I couldn’t sleep so I’ve been up for three hours. I’ve cleaned the bathroom and done some ironing. It’s actually nearly lunchtime in my body clock.”
I laughed.
“So what’s the big news that needed capital letters then? The suspense is killing me.”
Tess sat upright on her sofa, re-balancing the laptop. It made no difference whatsoever but it seemed to please her.
“Can you see me okay?”
“Yep, fine.”
“Well – I was out at Ghetto on Monday with Tom…”
“Oh I miss those nights!”
“You hated going out on a Monday,” she reminded me.
“You know what I mean.”
“Well anyway. I was out at Ghetto and I ran into Jan. Remember Jan, Kevin’s friend?”
I thought for a minute.
“Blonde hair, buggy eyes, gobby?”
“Exactly that. Still blonde, still buggy and still very gobby. And she informed me that Karen and Paula are no more – Paula dumped Karen and ran off with another woman.”
I was shocked.
“I know, right!?” said Tess. She took in my stunned face, captured in grey, grainy magic on my laptop’s tiny webcam. I blew out a breath.
“Well, I didn’t see that coming.”
“Neither did Karen. Karma though right? What goes around…”
“There is that. I don’t know what to say really.”
“Serves her bloody right, something like that?”
“That’ll do,” I smiled.
However, part of me couldn’t help thinking ‘poor Karen’. I hoped she was all right but I was still pleased at the news – there’s nothing worse than being dumped for someone and then that couple staying together for years on end. You want the person who dumped you to go through the same pain and it appeared I was getting my wish.
“Did Jan say anymore?”
“Just that Paula has already moved in with this woman in true lesbian fashion, being that she was living with Karen and couldn’t very well carry that on…”
“Who is she?”
Tess shrugged.
“Someone she worked with apparently. But anyway, enough of my news – tell me about high-pitched Ange. That sounds like a story…”
I settled on my bed and began the tale.
Chapter 15
The following Saturday was slowly baking so I decided to go for a walk. As I clicked the door shut the clouds were parting to reveal patches of blue beneath, while underfoot the ground steamed as the sun pounded the streets. I said hi to a street cleaner who looked oddly at me as if I were about to assault him and headed down to the canal, through the Van Gogh Estate and out onto the Kingsland Road.
As I walked, I breathed in the smells of Vietnamese and Chinese cooking as I passed by the myriad scruffy Asian cafés packed solid with wilted white plastic chairs and chipped tables. A little further down the road a Tesco Express had just opened, propping up a new set of flats in an old building that used to be a factory. At its side the small customer car park was almost melting with a hazy shimmer hovering over the grey tarmac, the world above it wobbling from side to side as if in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon. A few more steps and I was on the canal path.
London’s canal network never failed to thrill me and it was where I often headed on sunny days – either there or down to the Thames itself. Being by water always afforded me time to think - it was like putting my thoughts and feelings on a daily wash cycle and spinning them round until they were rinsed thoroughly.
Today, top of the list was ‘do I need to buy more eggs?’ Second was ‘I really should book a dental appointment’. The further I walked, though, the more these thoughts cleared from my brain and allowed the more buried ones to appear. Things like, ‘I wonder what Lucy’s doing today?’ and ‘I wonder if Karen’s thinking about me now she’s been dumped?’ I grinned at the sweet-tasting justice of it all.
Walking up the canal I could feel the sun soaking into my face. My new shades were also working hard to save me developing squinting wrinkles and I decided to stop at a pub that had people spilling out of it, all flocking to the water for beer and reflection.
After waiting for an eternity at the bar I took my pint of cider and sat on the towpath, levering myself down into a cross-legged sitting position and managing to shield my cider from the sun. All along the towpath, couples, friends and solos like me sat reading books, drinking, chatting, laughing. The relaxed atmosphere of a Saturday in the city crackled right along it –the time was only 2.30pm after all, with the whole day ahead of us.
I’d decided to save myself last night after the usual two Friday pints with Matt and Beth and had told Matt to do the same as Julia had set him up on his blind date tonight with a woman called Natalie. I smiled thinking of my workmates and of how these people had become such a big part of my life in such a short space of time. I’d only been working at Porter’s for the past seven weeks but already it felt like a lifetime, like this was what I’d been waiting for all my life. A café, who would have guessed?
I took another sip of my cider and pondered which shops to hit after my drink when my train of thought was interrupted by a shadow looming over me. I squinted up into the sun and turned to see a woman on a bike peering down at me.
“Jess?” she said.
“Er, yeah.” She had a helmet on so I had no idea who it was.
“Lucy – friend of Kate’s? We met in town a while back.”
I twisted, steadied my weight on one leg, leaned on it and straightened up fully to match Lucy’s height, brushing the back and front of my jeans of any excess gravel they’d acquired.
“Hi!” I said. I tried to control my voice. “You made it back then?”
“Yep. There and back alive.” She gave me a shy smile. “Good to see you again.”
“You too.” I said. “Nice bike.”
“Thanks. I’ve just cycled from Little Venice – could do with a drink actually.”
Her bike looked like it meant business being silver and shiny, my two criteria for judging such things. Also, if the toned cut of her calf muscles were anything to go by, she was no stranger to it, either.
“Well join me,” I said.
“You sure?”
“Positive. I can guard your bike while you get a drink if you like.”
“That’d be great.” She laid her bike delicately on the floor beside me. “Do you need one?” she asked, unbuckling her helmet strap underneath her chin before taking it off completely and ruffling her short dark hair. I smiled and cleared my throat.
“I’m good.”
“Back in a tick.”
I couldn’t help a huge grin spreading across my face as I watched this attractive woman disappear into the pub: this Saturday was definitely full of possibilities. When she returned just minutes later – she either flashed the bartender a killer smile or w
as one of those people who trampled old ladies to get a drink – I noticed again what I’d noted the first time around: gorgeous dark brown eyes and adorable smile.
Dressed casually in T-shirt, cut-off jeans and trainers, Lucy looked great. She sat down beside me with a pint of lager and we clinked glasses.
“Gorgeous weather, isn’t it?” She ran her hand through her hair. “Excuse the helmet hair – it probably looks a right state.”
“Looks fine,” I said. She smiled and I noticed her cute dimple again.
“I was out your way last night – I hoped I might bump into you,” she said.
“I was knackered last night so didn’t have a big one.”
“Same here, I didn’t stay.” She paused. “I’ve had a killer week.”
“Lots of eyes?”
“Everywhere you look,” she smiled. “So I thought I’d ride it out.”
“Good plan.”
I decided not to declare my hatred of towpath cyclists right at that moment – strategic planning.
“So tell me about your trip to Sydney – did you meet any cute women?”
Why in the world had I asked that? Lucy snorted.
“I was beating them off with a stick. Or is it a boomerang in Oz?”
“I’m not sure either would work.”
I paused, regaining my composure.
“Okay let me try again. Did you make it to Bondi?”
She nodded enthusiastically.
“It was ace. And I even took some surf lessons.”
“Now that is amazing. I was there three years and never got beyond putting on a wet suit and splashing about in the sea with a board. Fear of sharks.”
“Right,” she said. “Well I can’t say I was a pro but it was fun – and the instructor was cute too.”
“Now we’re getting to the bottom of it,” I said and she laughed. Even at one of my bad jokes. Interesting.
“What about Newtown?”
“Ah well, that’s a whole other story. Oh, and I saw that drag king – your ex, what was her name?”