The No Sex Clause

by Glenys O'Connell

  Yes, Anna thought, all the dreams are coming true. But it’s all so hollow. I’m still the Mouse inside. She wanted to turn tail and run, and keep on running until she was far, far away from her childhood home and all those people who remembered The Mouse. But she couldn’t do it... and Bob was already leading her to the drinks area and asking what she’d like as an aperitif.

  “Well, little Anna Findlay…Oh, my, who’d have thought you’d grow up into such a sexy lady?” The deep, rich voice sent goose bumps up Anna’s spine. Just as it had when she was fifteen and he’d been the school sports hero.

  Slowly she turned around. Her eyes trailed up – way up, until they were looking into the meltingly delicious gaze of Joey Henderson. Ah, Joey, with the eyes as mouth-watering as freshly baked caramel brownies, and the biceps so hard and strong, it made a girl wonder about his other parts…

  Stop it this minute, Anna Findlay! This is the guy who laughed when his girlfriend named you The Mouse! This is the guy who asked you to meet him outside the arena on the day of the big match – and you stood there for two hours before you cottoned on that he was having you hold a parking space for him while he and his buddies took off laughing for a couple of beers before the game!

  This is the guy who is now looking down at you from way, way up, with a big smile on his face and eyes just for you. Oh, my, my…

  “Why don’t you come and sit over here with me. It’s been a long time since we managed to have a chat alone.”

  “Yeah, the last chat we had alone was on the sidewalk when you asked me to watch your motorbike while you popped into the 7/11 to buy cigarettes…”

  He wagged his finger. “Still that same old sense of humour, eh? Always love that in a girl.”

  And before she knew it she was sitting at close quarters – very close quarters – with the star football captain of her graduating year, his hard thighs jammed against hers and his muscular arm encircling her in ways she’d always dreamed of. Anna let herself go for a moment, let herself slide back in time to when she was 18 and Joey Henderson was her whole world. And his whole world was the homecoming queen and his buddies on the football team.

  Just then the school principal clapped his hands for silence. A low groan slithered around the room - was old Hawkbeak going to make one of his interminable speeches?

  Anna looked on with amazement - yes, this was the same Mr Hawkins - the one who’d ruled Knotting Grove High with a rod of iron when she was a teenager. Of course, the iron rod had generally landed on the backs of misfits like Anna, not on the cool kids, the valuable kids. Kids like beautiful Lindy whose Mom was on the school board, or Joey who was a shoo-in for a football scholarship….

  She was so caught up in a disturbing reverie of the past that she startled when she heard her name called. “Anna Findlay - now don’t be shy, girl. Come on up to the podium.” It was Hawkbeak. His voice dripped a combination of false humility and patronization, and Anna’s stomach clenched. The last time he’d called her into his office, his voice had dripped contempt as he’d accused her of some misdeed someone else had committed and fingered her for the rap…

  “Go on, don’t keep old Hawkbeak waiting,” Joey said, pulling her to a feet and scooting her forward with a hand a little too firmly cupping her butt. The touch started a flood of color rising in her cheeks, and she desperately tried to stem the tide and resume the cool, dignified, above-it-all manner she’d been determined to pull off.

  She cast a glance around for her escort, hoping for a last minute rescue, but the jerk was standing over by the makeshift bar, half hidden under streamers and a floppy banner upon which Welcome, Class of 99! was scrawled in shiny sparkles. Something lurched inside her chest as she saw he was deep in conversation with a predatory looking beauty - red haired, dark eyed Maria Wilson.

  Homecoming Queen, class of ‘99. Ringleader of one of the greatest humiliations in Anna’s life. I’d like to go over there and tip a drink all over her and her ‘enhanced’ boobs! And then yes, I’d slap the idiotic grin off MY escort’s face….

  Seeing Bob pander to her arch enemy made something deep in her chest quiver with hurt. I wish I’d never come here…Damn Alex! Damn Bob - and double damn Maria Wilson and her friends…

  “She always was a shy one - who’d have thought she’d write a bestselling book? Friends and former students of Knotting Grove High, I give you our own, Anna Findlay!” Hawkbeak’s voice continued to grate through the sound system.

  Anna heard muffled sniggers, but a few people clapped as she climbed the stage and walked toward the podium. Sweat was pooling below her breasts. The auditorium was too loud, and the lights too bright but thankfully, she could see nothing from the podium but darkness in the auditorium below.

  “Thank you for the welcome, Mr Hawkins,” she said, forcing herself into her professional persona. Her voice grew stronger as she continued: “I’m one of those students who always said she would never return to this school, even for a reunion. School was not good to me - some of my fellow classmates were snobs and bullies.” Anna enjoyed the muted gasps which emerged from somewhere out in the blind darkness in front of her.

  “But for that, I have to thank them. Because their loser behaviour made me want to be something more, made me determined to rise above the petty hierarchy of school and make something of myself.”

  She glanced over at the school principal, not at all ashamed to see that he was mopping sweat off his scarlet face and glaring at her.

  ***

  “Wow - did you hear that? Hot damn - looks like the Mouse has finally grown a spine!” Maria whistled under her breath as she turned from Jed to look at the podium.

  “The Mouse?”

  “Oh, yes - that’s what we called her in school. She always seemed to be on the outside. She never had the right clothes. I guess she was a bit of a geek, really. But it doesn’t surprise me that she wound up writing a book.”

  Catching the frown on Jed’s face, Maria turned back to him, her hand resting on his arm. “I must admit I felt sorry for her, but what could I do? She seemed to go out of her way to be a target - sometimes she’d try to be cool, and that was hilarious!

  “And she had the hots for Joey Henderson - star footballer, Captain of the team. Can you imagine? Little Mouse actually thought Joey would be interested in her.”

  “And why wouldn’t he be?” Jed moved slightly away; this woman was crowding him and he didn’t like the cruelty that lay so close to her surface.

  “Oh, really – I mean, I don’t know how well you know her –” Maria’s pause made her suggestion obvious. He couldn’t know Anna very well if he hadn’t caught a whiff of scared rodent emanating from her. “To those of us who knew her at school, she’ll always be Mouse.”

  That sudden surge of protectiveness hit him again. “You must admit, writing a book is no mean achievement – and she looks like she’s making a good living off it. And her looks – well, they’re not what most guys would describe as Mousy. She looks all genuine to me,” Jed said, casting a lazy glance over Maria’s hard, round, enhanced bosom.

  He was shamed that he enjoyed the dark flush that spread over the woman’s cheeks, and the old saying his mother used: ‘More to be pitied than blamed’ resounded in his mind.

  He put his drink on the bar and scanned the room to see where Anna was.

  Maybe she needed rescuing.

  * * *

  “So, I hear you’ve written a book – a bestseller, no less? Well done, little Mouse.” Joey hugged her to him. Anna closed her eyes in bliss – only to discover there was no bliss in her.

  “Did I tell you I went pro? All the way to the leagues, baby – maybe after this bun fight is all over, you’ll come back to my place and I’ll show you some videos of my greatest moments on the pitch?” Joey spoke with such confidence, and so obviously wanted to share his achievements with her, that Anna basked in his warmth.

  After all, the football team captain had said: “Well done” about her work! And he w
anted to show her his greatest moments! But it did occur to her that his comments about her achievements had been pretty short, and she wondered if he knew anything about her book. Even though she tried to beat the thought down, light was dawning in her brain and she couldn’t ignore it. “Er, wait a moment, now…is this something like showing me your etchings?”

  He burst into uproarious laughter, slapping a hand on his beefy thigh as if she’d said the most amusing thing in the world. “Well, well, Miss Mouse – you have grown a sense of humour since you left school!”

  Everyone was looking at them now. The Homecoming Princess was scowling, and several of the other women were smirking at Anna. Something didn’t feel right…particularly the way Joey’s buddies were all grinning that silly grin men share when one of their number is about to score…

  But she didn’t have time to consider the implications because a large warm hand closed on hers, and she was pulled away and came to rest against a solid wall of masculine chest. In the split second between Bob pulling her towards him and Joey letting her go, Anna felt like a bone trapped between two slathering dogs. The idea infuriated her almost as much as all this blatant male attention thrilled her. So this is what all the other girls experienced, day after day? What must it be like to float through your teenaged years knowing you were admired and desired, instead of being a Mouse who was, when she got any attention at all, just the butt of jokes.

  She turned the flare of anger on to her escort, needing to release the awful feeling on someone’s head. “What do you think you’re up to?” she whispered savagely. “I was enjoying talking to Joey..”

  “You didn’t look like you were enjoying it,” Jed her, playing along with the Bob persona, “In fact, you looked like a mouse who’s realised she’s the snake’s dinner.”

  And, dammit, that great ape of a football player looked like he was enjoying being draped all over Anna just a little too much! Jed wondered where that thought which had suddenly bounced into his head came from, but he was distracted by Anna dragging on his arm.

  “Come over here with me – we need a quiet word,” she said, smiling up at him seductively while her eyes burned with a very nasty looking fire. Uh, uh – he’d obviously annoyed her by pulling her away from the football playing gorilla… A delighted grin lit up his face.

  “You can just wipe that grin off your face. I want to talk to you in a quiet spot, nothing else….” Anna growled.

  “Aw, shucks, I thought maybe you wanted to make out like all the other kids are doing...”

  Anna glanced around. The first quiet corner she’d spotted to have a little chat with her escort just happened to be littered with bodies, entangled with each other, two by two, all hidden in the relative privacy afforded by the heavy velvet curtains of the stage. Her face burned. Of course she remembered this corner – a must at all high school dances, a spot where chaperones pretended to turn a blind eye on the grounds that kids kissing in the dance hall were less likely to get into anything more serious elsewhere.

  Not that Anna had ever been to one of the intimate corners before. Certainly not while at high school. She’d usually been assigned to handing out cookies and cans of soda, and then dragooned into clean-up duty afterwards while the other kids took the long way home, entangled with one another, laughing and having fun.

  But suddenly Anna was having fun. A whole lot of fun. Held against the warm length of Bob’s body, feeling his hands playing havoc on the skin of her back, she was caught up in a kiss so passionate that it should probably be X-rated, she thought. And she loved it, loved the feelings of heat and light that suffused her as their tongues touched and danced, their bodies pressing tighter and tighter together until she wanted to never be apart…

  And that thought pushed through her fogged brain and pulled her out of the daydream. She was caught in a deep embrace with a man she was paying for his services. What was she thinking of hearing ‘happily ever after’ jingles in her head? This relationship wasn’t even going to get past first base, let alone…let alone what? Anna shook her head and decided that he was to blame.

  “What on earth are you doing?” she gasped when she was able to draw breath.

  To give him credit, his breathing was a little ragged, too.

  “Just doing what you asked, Ma’am. You said pay attention to you…and I thought that’s what I was doing.”

  “Well, pay a little less attention. I want to be escorted, not smothered. I want to make these people jealous and be able to enjoy that reaction, not be caught up in a snogfest with a man I’ll never see again.”

  Then she sniffed and walked away.

  ***

  Jed felt her words like a hammer blow. He’d been enjoying the feel of her in his arms. He knew the whole situation was crazy – the woman had virtually kidnapped him off the streets, ordered him to stay close to her, to pay attention to her – and he was having a lot of fun.

  But now she’d changed her mind. He’d kissed her and suddenly she was kissing him off! Her stiff back as she walked away was enough of a statement. ‘Back off, jerk,’ she was saying without speaking.

  Maybe he should just walk out and leave her. Maybe he’d just have a glass of beer or two and enjoy the company of the other pretty women.

  Then he’d leave. Let snooty Ms Anna Findlay find her own way home.

  Perhaps with Joey the Jock.

  But, no. Somehow he didn’t like that idea at all.

  Jed took a deep draught of his beer.

  CHAPTER THREE

  He didn’t leave, of course. He stayed and listened to the snatches of conversation around him as he tried to figure out what was going on. Not that he lacked for distractions - he was a magnet for a coterie of glammed-up women and a few brave men who recognised him and were genuinely interested to make his acquaintance

  The fact that so many people recognised him made him even more suspicious of Anna’s motives for her behaviour. He loved a mystery – solving puzzles and bringing hidden things to light were two of the reasons he’d gone into journalism - and this was as an incentive to ask questions of his own audience. Subtly, of course.

  And it certainly didn’t hurt that many of his interviewees were pretty women who were obviously thrilled to spill their guts to him while one or two dropped broad hints that they wouldn’t mind taking a real live celebrity home with them after the dance. Jed sighed. The high divorce rate amongst the 20 - 35 age group was one of the reasons he’d decided to stay single - hell, there was no shortage of sexy, intelligent companions. Why spoil it all by getting married, getting mad, and getting divorced?

  His father despaired of him, of course. The old man wanted grandchildren, wanted to know that the family ranch would be handed down to another generation. Jed’s lawyer father had long dreamt of returning to the land his great grandfather had settled back in Texas, but his wife wouldn’t hear of it. The old man had to content himself with spending vacations there, occasionally riding horseback there. The rest of the time he rode the range in his dreams.

  So he’d laid the dream of ranching on Jed, but Jed wasn’t even sure he’d be willing to take over the property. He loved his work, loved the power of being even a lower-level celebrity in the goldfish bowl of eastern New York State. Rarely did he miss the feel of a horse between his legs, the restless pacing after a herd to be branded and corralled.

  Maybe if he had a family of his own it would be different…Aware his thoughts were going round and round in dangerous circles, he dragged his attention back to the pretty, long-legged redhead beside him. Maria had the look of a country singer about her, and his guess was right.

  “I’m just putting out my very first CD,” she gushed into his ear, “And I’d really appreciate any advice you have on getting publicity, Mr Walker.”

  Which roughly translated meant: what do I have to do to get on television? It seemed that was the question on everyone’s lips these days. Not content with Andy Warhol’s ‘15 minutes of fame’, people now wanted their ow
n spot on a hot talk show.

  “So, were you good friends with Anna when she was at school?” he asked the general group, ignoring the redhead’s pout as he ignored her question.

  Several people nodded. “Yes, Anna was adorable even at school. One of the cutest, smartest girls in class,” a plump woman with pretty eyes and a white streak in her dark hair declared. Several others nodded enthusiastically.

  “Is that why you all called her the Mouse?” Jed asked.

  There were several embarrassed glances, and the plump one had the good grace to blush faintly. Jed thought it made her look very pretty, the faint flush along her creamy cheekbones…until she declared: “Oh, my, she was so cute. That’s why we called her Mouse. She was very quiet, too.”

  “Oh, yes, quiet as a mouse!” giggled the would-be country singer.

  “But who’d have thought she’d have written a book like that!” The football jock who’d been chatting to Anna – no, draped all over Anna – snorted.

  “Yah, right – man, if I’d known she knew stuff like that, I’d have been the first to offer to help her with her research!”

  “And she surely has done a lot of research to write like that!”

  “Yeah, who’d have thought it of our little Mouse?”

  “I’m not sure I follow you,” Jed said coldly.

  “Hey, well, guy, you must have been helping her work out the stuff that’s in her book! Or aren’t you part of Generation X?”

  “Generation X?” Jed was puzzled now. Anna had written a book about Generation X? Well, she’d hardly have been the first writer to do that…

  “Yeah – ‘Having It All: Sex & Generation X” hit the best seller lists for weeks – little Anna must be raking in the dough!”

  “But don’t you think it’s…well, not quite right, not quite moral, somehow, to write a book like that? I mean, what did she have to do to get those details…and whatever must her poor parents think!” The plump one said in a concerned voice, her face alight with atavistic interest.