by Tina Leonard
Carolyn cleared her throat, looked at the ceiling, bit her fingernail and finally threw herself off the edge of the cliff marked Courage. “Don’t suppose you’d want to get away for a couple of hours tonight and eat some really good food?”
He hesitated, and her heart seemed to contract to the size of one of the sequins on her hot-pink evening gown.
“Don’t you have an escort?”
“No. Actually, I don’t.” Maybe she shouldn’t admit that. Maybe it wasn’t good to seem unwanted by the opposite sex.
“Carolyn, I don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all your time looking out for me.”
She frowned. Had she misread his feelings toward her? Had he merely been reaching out in his worry over his daughter? “I don’t look out for you at all, Ben. I’ve been happy to help you. I realize it’s an awkward time to ask you to leave Lucy, but if you’d like to go, the invitation stands.”
“I’d love to go with you,” he said, making her heart expand with unexpected happiness. “As long as you’re not asking me out of a sense of duty.”
“No.” Carolyn smiled to herself, glancing at the sexy evening gown. “A sense of duty is the last thing on my mind for tonight.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE EVENING OF the wedding was as wonderful as a September night in Texas could be. The skies were a lush midnight velvet, and the stars shone like tiny diamonds much like the white lights strung through the plants in front of the Garrett ranch house. Guests drove up the tree-lined drive to the house, where valets helped them out of their cars. Men in formal suits and women in glittering gowns walked inside the Garrett home in a glamorous procession.
Carolyn was very glad Emily had talked her into the hot-pink gown. The look on Ben’s face when she’d walked out of her apartment had been more than satisfying. Ben looked mouthwatering in his dark formal tux, and Carolyn shivered, hardly able to believe that the man she’d fallen in tender first love with so many years ago had become even more the man of her dreams.
The valet took the keys to Ben’s car, and another valet opened the passenger door for Carolyn. Ben came to take her hand as she got out, and he rested it lightly on the inside of his arm as they walked through the door of the white stucco house.
“This is stunning,” she said, looking at the magnificent flower arrangements placed on tables throughout the great room. Soft waltz music carried from a three-piece band in the open area upstairs that overlooked the great room. The main floor had been cleared for guests to dance, and the exposed heavy beams and massive fireplace gave the room a feeling of solidness as both the hub and anchor of the Garretts’ lives. The vows would be spoken here, and a framed picture of Lily and Cole rested on the mantel, as well as a family Bible.
“Stunning but just right somehow,” Ben said. “I never wanted a big wedding, but having it in their home makes it less formal. I feel like I’m part of the family.”
Carolyn smiled. “The Garretts have a way of making a person feel that way.”
William Garrett came over to greet them, accompanied by Emily and her husband, Jordan. “Welcome,” William said. He shook Ben’s hand as Carolyn performed the introductions, then he kissed Carolyn on the cheek. “Thanks for coming tonight. I hear you’ve had some excitement with your little girl, Ben. Hope it all turns out well.”
Ben smiled, completely at ease. “Things are looking great.”
“Fine.” William lifted a glass of champagne for Carolyn from a passing waiter, and then one for Ben. Emily and her husband already had champagne, and along with William, they raised their glasses to Ben. “Here’s to a healthy, happy little girl, Ben,” William offered.
Tears jumped into Carolyn’s eyes as she sipped her champagne.
“Thank you, William,” Ben said. He nodded to Emily and her husband in recognition of their shared good wishes. “Thank you.”
William nodded. “You young people head onto the patio. There’s some mighty pretty decorations Gracie put up out there.”
Then he left them to greet the next guests. Ben glanced at Carolyn, his expression grateful. “That was nice of him.”
Carolyn smiled. “He’s a great man.”
“Lily is the calmest bride you ever saw,” Emily told them. “Considering all the details she organized for this event, it’s turned out beautifully.”
They chatted for a few more minutes, and then the waltz music changed to Handel’s Water Music. The guests, realizing the bride and groom would be entering soon, gathered inside the great room around the fireplace. Behind her, Ben lightly squeezed Carolyn’s bare shoulders, as if he was more focused on her than the moment. She smiled up over her shoulder at him.
And then softly, beautifully, the music melded into a traditional wedding march. Cole appeared at the fireplace, along with Dylan as best man. The guests parted, and Lily walked between them, holding on to her father William’s arm, smiling at her guests. Lily was radiant, Carolyn thought, her gown magnificent.
But more than that, it was the happiness in Lily’s eyes that made Carolyn believe that perhaps marriage was something she still wanted, and had never completely given up on.
Though her heart still yearned for Ben, nothing had changed when it came to marriage. She couldn’t have children, and he would want Lucy to have siblings. Lucy would love having baby brothers and sisters, after being so isolated by her illness.
Carolyn watched as Cole’s gaze took in every inch of his beautiful bride, his eyes staring into her with pleasure, pride and love.
She would never admit it to anyone else, but Carolyn realized she’d give anything to have Ben look at her that way. With pleasure, pride, and love.
Cole kissed his bride, and all the guests clapped.
And Carolyn told herself she’d done the right thing so long ago by letting Ben go.
Nothing had changed.
* * *
“LET’S HEAD to the patio,” Emily said. “Ben, are you starving?”
“I could be persuaded to eat.”
Emily grabbed Carolyn’s hand And pulled her aside as the men started to fill their plates in the serving line. “You look sensational. Sophisticated, yet sexy. I told you that dress was the real you. And I noticed Ben seems very appreciative of it, too. The office girl goes glam,” she teased.
“You look very sexy, too,” Carolyn said, eyeing Emily’s black ensemble. “I don’t think Jordan has taken his eyes off you for more than ten seconds at a time.”
“I’m telling you, marriage is great if you marry the right man.”
Carolyn glanced at Ben, who was being chatted up by one of the many guests Carolyn had yet to meet. The woman was petite and dark-haired and very pretty, and Carolyn decided the quick tightening in her stomach meant she might be suffering a touch of jealousy. Then Ben looked up and smiled at her, a smile that said, “Excuse me while I’m being polite,” and all her misgivings melted away.
“Thanks for giving me the shot of courage to ask Ben to come,” Carolyn said to Emily as they filled their plates with cold shrimp, Chateaubriand filets, and other tempting food as they moved down the line. “I wouldn’t have thought of it myself.”
“I wouldn’t have dreamed of wasting that dress, Carolyn. It was made to be worn by you and admired and removed by a man who makes your cheeks glow like yours do. Hint. Hint.”
Carolyn felt a blush steal over her. Somewhat nervously, she glanced back at Ben and caught him staring at her bare back even while the petite brunette kept talking. She smiled at him, he smiled at her, and she turned back to Emily.
“Nice try, Emily,” was all she said. Of course, lately she’d thought many times about making love with Ben, but even her dearest friend didn’t need to know the details.
* * *
DYLAN MOVED onto t
he patio to get a breath of fresh air and gaze at the stars for a moment. His best friend, Sebastian Cooper, clipped his cell phone shut as Dylan stepped out.
“Business or pleasure?” Dylan asked Sebastian.
“It was Julie’s father, Jeb. He wanted to know if there’s been any progress in the search for Julie.” Sebastian took a deep breath. “I hated telling him no.”
Dylan shook his head in sympathy.
“I’m going crazy myself,” Sebastian said. “Being here at this wedding tonight, it’s beautiful and everything, but…it all reminds me of Julie, I guess.”
Dylan didn’t know what to say. What did you say to your best friend when he’d lost the one person he most cared about?
“Man, I even feel guilty about being here.” Sebastian sighed deeply, looking off into the distance over the night-shrouded ranch land. “If she’s alive, God only knows what she’s going through, and I’m here, wining, dining. I don’t mean that I’m not glad to be here, because you know I’d walk through hot coals to be at Lily’s wedding. I’m just feeling down.”
“Go easy on yourself. Julie wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”
Sebastian squared his shoulders. “I will be until she’s found.” His eyes moved from the distance to stare at Dylan. “I don’t even let myself think that maybe she won’t be,” he said, his voice quietly determined.
“Good man.” Dylan patted his friend on the shoulder. “You know I’ll do all I can.”
“I know. That’s one ace I’ve got in my hand, Dylan. I know you really care about Julie and me. The rest of the detectives and everyone else, we’re just a case number to them.”
“C’mon,” Dylan said. “Let’s go get you something stronger to drink than champagne.” He led his friend inside, telling himself that somewhere out there under the Texas skies, Julie Cooper was going to be found.
* * *
BEN MET a lot of people he’d never met before—Max Santana, the ranch foreman, Gracie Fipps, the new housekeeper, Sebastian Cooper, and Cole’s grandmother, Eve Bishop.
It was a lovely evening, but all he wanted to do was dance with Carolyn. He spirited her away from where she stood talking to a group of women, telling her, “I can’t wait any longer to dance with you.”
She smiled at him, gliding into his arms. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask. In a few more moments, I was going to ask you.”
“And I would most definitely have said yes.”
Leaning her face against his shoulder, she said, “How many times have you called to check on Lucy?”
He laughed, and they moved in time to the waltz, a seamless union of man and woman. “Only once, thank you, and she’s fine. She wants me to bring her a flower from the bride’s bouquet.”
“After this dance, I’ll go snatch one out before Lily tosses it to the crowd.”
“I’d appreciate that. So how many times have you called Christine?”
“Once,” Carolyn admitted.
“And?”
“She says she feels as if she’s been run over by a golf cart. A little sore. But I’m to take time off my pampering duties and enjoy an enchanted evening with you.”
“I’m beginning to really like your sister.” He grinned down at her. “She seems to understand how much I want to be with you.”
Carolyn looked away, overcome by a sudden shyness. Ben framed her face with one hand and looked into her eyes. “Don’t go away, Carolyn. I have a confession to make.”
She stared, lost in his suddenly serious expression. “I’m listening.”
“The thought has occurred to me that this could have been us.”
“Us?”
“If we had gotten married.”
“I thought we agreed that—”
“I know.” He turned her about the floor, holding her tightly to him. “I’m not regretting the past. I think we’re both older and wiser, and more ready for whatever happens between us. It’s just that it could have been us.”
He leaned to brush his lips against hers, and she clung to his mouth a second past what he was expecting. “Somehow,” he said, “I feel like you and I were never really apart.”
She looked at him, her eyes wide and glistening.
“You’re always going to be part of my soul, Carolyn. I guess that’s what I’m trying to say, though maybe not too well.”
“You’re saying it quite well, as far as I’m concerned.”
“It’s not gratitude, either, Carolyn. You helped find my brother, and your sister has helped Lucy. But by clearing away some of my worries, I’ve had a little time to concentrate on what’s missing in my life. And sometimes—”
“Ben, don’t,” Carolyn said quickly.
“Why not?”
“Because…because I—I’m—”
He put his chin against her forehead, holding her close. “Only putting on a brave front?”
“I think so,” she whispered.
“Still afraid?”
“Being with you just seems too perfect. I want to hold it forever in my hands, but I’m afraid if I open my fingers the slightest crack, it’ll sift right through.”
“Okay,” he said, although it wasn’t easy. “Believe me, I understand.”
They danced quietly for a while, lost in the pleasure of holding each other. He could hardly believe it when Carolyn gazed up at him and said, “Ben, take me home with you tonight. For just a little while.”
* * *
INSIDE BEN’S HOUSE, he turned the lamp low and put on some soft music. He looked questioningly at Carolyn, who had placed the flower she’d taken for Lucy on a table and walked toward him.
They melted into each other’s arms, dancing as they had at the wedding. Only this time there was no one to watch them, no social rules to observe. Eyes closed, Carolyn wrapped her bare arms around Ben’s neck while his hands gently explored her bare back.
It was the closest she could remember being to heaven, Carolyn thought.
Their lips met in a mutual kiss that first merely gauged the answer to the question each was asking. For both of them, the answer was yes, and the kiss deepened, demanding more and giving more, the pleasure in it all the stronger for Carolyn because she could tell Ben felt the same degree of passion she did.
It was as if she’d stopped breathing, and had been merely holding her breath until he came back into her life. Running in place until he held her again.
“Carolyn?” Ben asked huskily, the unspoken question clear.
“Yes,” was her reply.
He picked her up, carrying her to his bedroom in a sweep of hot-pink fabric. When he set her down, slowly unzipping the gown for her, he kissed the back of her neck. The gown slid in a whisper to the carpet. Carolyn turned to him, burying her face shyly against him.
“Don’t be scared,” he whispered as he picked her up to lay her on the bed. “You know me, and I know you. And that makes this moment perfect.”
She helped slide his jacket off, and his tux shirt. As he leaned over her, bare and broad-chested, exhilaration rushed through her. He kissed her, his lips light on hers at first, then seeking her tongue and the inside of her mouth with deep, strong sweeps.
Slowly, he removed her demi bra. His eyes glowed as he stared at her. “You’re beautiful,” he told her, touching first one breast and then the other, so that the nipples stood erect. “Just like I remembered.”
Not everything was as he remembered. Carolyn tried to fight off the wave of panic, unable to rise above it. “Ben, turn out the light,” she pleaded.
He took a nipple in his mouth, rolling it into hard readiness. “Everything is going to be all right, Carolyn. I promise.” His fingers slid beneath the high waist of her thong panties, and she jumped.
> “It’s going to be all right,” he repeated, kissing her breasts so that she yielded, lying back against the pillow as she gave herself up to the wild pleasure overtaking her. He slowly pulled the thong down, and when he kissed her navel, she closed her eyes. When he kissed the four-inch scar beneath, tears crept into her eyes. And when he moved even lower and slipped his tongue inside her, the moan that escaped her was one of pleasure and complete surrender.
He seemed to recognize that she had given herself totally over to his care because he lifted her buttocks, cradling them as he tasted her more deeply. She reached for him, unable to bear the sensations bursting inside her, but he wouldn’t allow her to be freed, and in seconds she cried out, a release she hadn’t known was dammed up inside her soul.
Gently laying her back onto the bed, he kissed his way up to her collarbone, then slowly parted her with his fingers.
“Ben,” she begged.
“Not yet,” he said. “I’ve waited too long for this, and I’m not going to rush it.”
She whimpered as she reached for his zipper, helping him with his trousers, then the rest of his clothes, until he was in bed with her, skin to skin. “I want you,” she said, reaching down so she could stroke him, pull him, torture him the way he was torturing her.
His groan told her that she was succeeding.
“Come inside me,” she whispered. “I need you, Ben.”
For answer, he slid his fingers inside her again, separating her so that her body spasmed, waiting for him to fill her. She placed his hardness against her damp folds and stared up at him, no longer afraid. Moving against him, she watched the pleasure darken his eyes, the temptation pushing him past his control.
Removing his fingers, she guided him inside her, gasping as his girth filled her in a way she had made herself forget. “You make me whole,” she said, reaching for his hips to force him farther inside her.
“You complete me,” he told her, burying his face against her neck as he groaned, the urge to thrust taking him as if by storm. But he forced himself to stay still so that he could savor the moment that had become simply Carolyn in his mind. It was a drumbeat he couldn’t stop, pulsing inside him so that he wanted to dance wildly to its unrestrained rhythm. “Carolyn, you drive me crazy,” he said hoarsely, and then he couldn’t hold back any longer. Answering the primitive call, he gave in to the jungle beat driving him onward. He heard her shriek and call his name, her own pleasure as wild as his in a mating that was richer and more passionate than he could ever have imagined. Deeper and deeper he thrust, taking her with every ounce of fiery passion he possessed.