Blame it on the Stars (The Blame Game)

by Hill, Jamie

  “No big deal,” David said.

  “We’re just glad you’re feeling better,” Dana agreed.

  Catlin started for the shower. She heard Dana ask, “Daddy, what does a flashing light on the phone mean?”

  Steve picked it up. “A message for us.” He called the front desk, and then turned back to Catlin. “A personal note for Miss McCall.”

  “Oh.” She shrugged. “I guess I can get it when we go eat.”

  They stopped by the front desk on the way to brunch, and Catlin read the note.

  Please don’t leave without talking to me.

  Meet me by the scenic elevator at three.

  Nick

  She folded it quickly and shoved it in her pocket, then smiled at Steve. “I left my name with a saleslady yesterday. She found one more thing to show me. I need to stop by there this afternoon.”

  “Holy cow! More stuff. Okay, we’ll stop back by. Which shop?”

  She touched his arm. “I’ll do it by myself, and no questions, please. Christmas is coming, you know.”

  He raised his eyebrows thoughtfully, and they went to eat.

  Chapter Eleven

  Catlin left Steve and the kids swimming while she hurried through Crown Center to get to the scenic elevator. She looked around nervously, and soon spotted Nick Prescott walking toward her.

  “Wow! You look good.” He smiled and kissed Catlin on the cheek.

  “So do you.” She pulled back, self-conscious, and looked him over. He does look good. His shiny brown hair used to be long, one length, the way everyone wore it. Now it was short and spiky in front, and down past his shoulders in the back. She used to love running her hands through that hair. And those eyes. She’d once spent hours gazing into the chocolate brown orbs. Now she looked at them and felt...nothing. She had the man with the eyes she wanted, and he was swimming in a pool back at the hotel.

  “I mean, really good. Beautiful. I knew you’d be pretty, but I can’t believe how great you grew up.”

  “Thanks,” she felt the heat of a blush creeping up to her face. “But that can’t be what you wanted to talk to me about. What can I do for you, Nick?”

  “Shall we walk?”

  She nodded. They strolled around the mall.

  “Craig said you were pretty upset last night,” he finally said.

  “Last night was a hell of a surprise to me. It came totally out of the blue.”

  He chuckled. “I guess that would have been strange. We kind of thought you knew.”

  “Nope, it was a total surprise. Steve thought he was doing something nice. He doesn’t realize what a can of worms he opened up.”

  “We were glad to get his call. We’ve been talking about you a lot lately.”

  “I can’t imagine why.” She looked away from him as they walked.

  Nick linked his arm through hers.

  Catlin didn’t pull away. “You’re being pretty charming, and it’s pissing me off. I’ve not been too happy with you these past few years.”

  “So I’m given to understand. But how’s your life? Are you happy in Marshall?”

  “Yes, I am. I love my job, and I love my fiancé. He’s a wonderful man.”

  He laughed. “Is this the part where you say ‘I think you’d like him’?”

  She grinned. “No, because I don’t think you would. He’s serious, responsible and mature.”

  “Bo-ring.” He shook his head.

  “I knew you’d say that. But he’s far from boring. He’s fun-loving, romantic, and very sexy.”

  “Oh yeah?” Nick looked at her sideways “When’s the last time you two did it in the balcony of a theater?”

  Catlin smiled at the memories that conjured up. “I said he was romantic, not a lunatic. And I’m not sixteen anymore.”

  “Oh, your sixteenth birthday! God, that was a hoot. I’d forgotten about that.”

  “Nick, stop.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to go down memory lane. You’re avoiding the real issue between us.”

  “Oh, the issue I call ‘son’? He is a person, you know.”

  “Don’t start with the shit attitude because I can walk away from here today and not look back. You’re the one who wants something from me.”

  “Can you? Really?” He pulled a picture out of his pocket and held it up in front of her. “Look at his face, Catlin. He looks just like you. And me. He is you and me. And he’s a really great person. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

  She shook her head, gaze avoiding the picture. “Nick, I made my choice years ago. It’s too late for me to change my mind now.”

  “No it’s not. He needs you!”

  “How can he need me? He doesn’t even know me!” Catlin walked faster.

  Nick stayed alongside her.

  “He knows more than you think.”

  She stopped and looked at him. “You told him about me?”

  “Everything I could. Craig has too. We’ve built you up pretty good, in fact. Chris thinks you’re some cool princess who’s going to come and rescue him someday.”

  “Rescue him, from what?”

  He shrugged. “Normal life, I guess. Everybody needs to have a dream.”

  “Yeah, too bad his is bullshit. All he has is a mother who gave him away when he was born. Nothing real cool about that.”

  “He doesn’t know that part. He knows you were not able to keep him, even though you wanted to.”

  Catlin shook her head. “I guess I should thank you for that. Because you and I both know I did not want to. But he should never know.”

  “His name is Christian,” Nick said softly to her.

  Catlin found a bench, and dropped into it. “How have you done it all these years? Have you dragged him around with you on tours? What about school?”

  Nick sat next to her, and extended his feet. “My folks moved here to help me raise him. They live in the ‘burbs. He lives with them when we’re on the road.”

  She laughed out loud. “Oh there’s someone I’ll never forget, Ramona Prescott. She hated me worse than anyone has ever hated me in my life.”

  Nick chuckled. “You corrupted her son.”

  “Bullshit.” She shook her head. “You were well on the road to perdition before you ever got me in the sack.”

  “What mother wants to believe that? It was easier to let her blame you.”

  Catlin rolled her eyes. “Now I’ve got Steve’s ex-wife blaming me, too. Maybe they can start their own support group.”

  “Oh, the ex- isn’t too fond of you? Perhaps she still has feelings for the man.”

  “Oh, no doubt about that.” Catlin nodded “And she isn’t technically the ex-, yet. But it’s in the works.”

  “So we can add home wrecker to your resume? Duly noted,” Nick teased her.

  “I did not.” She slapped the top of his leg. “And I shouldn’t have brought it up, because I don’t want to talk about it with you. In fact, I don’t want to be here. I need to go. I still hate you.”

  Nick pressed a piece of paper into her hand. “Here’s my phone number. Craig and I have a place in the canyon. Think about this, Catlin. Call me. Don’t miss out on anymore of your son’s life.”

  She was getting irritated now. “How can you stand there with that holier-than-thou attitude after what you did to me? I gave that child up for adoption, and you took him and kept him, behind my back.”

  “He was my son! How could I give him away?”

  “How could I keep him? I was sixteen years old, for Christ’s sake! You made your choices, and I made mine. Why do yours always have to be the right ones? Maybe I don’t want him in my life.”

  Nick looked down. “Maybe you don’t. Maybe he won’t want you after he’s met you.”

  She stared at him.

  “But I don’t think either of you will feel that way. You’re a lot alike, really. Stubborn, sensitive and caring.”

  Catlin looked away and swiped at her eyes. Nick put his arm around her, and pulled her next
to him. “Just think about it. That’s all I ask.”

  She looked at him. “Sometimes I’ve thought about strangling you.”

  He laughed. “And then there’s now. What would you like to do to me now?”

  She studied his face. He was still very handsome. His mouth was sexy and pouty. Catlin shook her head to clear it, when they were interrupted by three teenage girls.

  “Are you Nick Prescott?” they asked, giggling.

  “Afraid so.” He smiled at them.

  They squealed and giggled again. “Can we have your autograph?”

  “Sure.” He rose and signed three autographs, then posed for some smartphone photos. The girls walked off, giggling about his good looks.

  Catlin stood. “I have to go.”

  “So, what do you think?”

  She screwed up her face. “Strangling is still my number one choice.”

  “Seriously, Cat. What do you think?”

  “I think I don’t need this in my life right now. I’m finally happy. I have a man who loves me and I love him very much. We’re going to get married.”

  Nick squeezed her hand. “Think about it some more, okay? Maybe, just maybe, you do need this in your life.”

  The idea terrified her, and she wanted to get out of there quickly. “Good-bye, Nick.” She hurried back to their suite, glancing at her watch. Six-thirty. “Damn,” she muttered.

  Steve was dressed for dinner, sitting in an easy chair, when Catlin got back to the room. Dana and David were watching TV, but Steve was just staring.

  “I’m really sorry!” she exclaimed as she rushed in. “Time sure got away from me.”

  He looked at her. “You were gone a long time. All afternoon shopping, and no packages?”

  She smiled at him cheerfully. “I said I was sorry. Please don’t be angry. I’m having my packages sent to me at home.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I wish you carry a cell phone, so I could reach you at least.”

  “We’ve talked about this. I’d lose it, you know I would.” She leaned over behind him and squeezed his shoulders. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

  He apparently decided not to press the issue. “Okay. I hope you had a nice afternoon, at least.”

  “Sure.” Desperate to change the subject, she asked, “How was your swim?”

  “It could have been better.” His voice was absolutely pouty.

  She chuckled. “I said I’d make it up to you.” She kissed his temple, and breathed a sigh of relief when he visibly relaxed.

  “Want to get changed for dinner?”

  “Give me ten minutes.” One more quick kiss and she hurried off to change.

  Catlin lay in Steve’s arms that night after making love. His rhythmic breathing let her know he was sleeping, but the sandman evaded her. Her mind was haunted by the little face in the picture she had seen only briefly.

  She never wanted to see the baby when he was born. Now she was feeling pangs of— what? Regret? Sadness? Sorrow for what she’d missed out on? She couldn’t nail the feeling, but it was not allowing her to sleep. She lay there in the dark, worrying about what she was going to do, and what the repercussions would be. She had so much to figure out.

  Their weekend ended quietly. Catlin and the kids slept most of the way back to Marshall. She woke up just outside of town. She yawned, and scooted over next to Steve.

  “Hi.” He kissed the side of her head.

  She wrapped her right arm around his waist and hugged him. “Sorry I fell asleep.”

  He chuckled. “I like it. You’re pretty cute when you’re sleeping.”

  She laid her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”

  “Maybe because you didn’t sleep worth a damn last night? You tossed and turned more than you slept, from what I could tell.”

  “I’m sorry.” She rubbed her cheek on his shoulder.

  “I seem to have dredged up some old memories this weekend. Is this melancholy mood you’re in going to last, or do you think it’ll get better once we’re home?”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t know I was in a mood.”

  He chuckled. “Well, you are. I’m sorry, I hope it gets better once things get back to normal.”

  “Ah, normal.” She stretched. “What is normal, anyway?”

  He didn’t answer the question. He was pulling into Marshall, navigating the exits and turns.

  She yawned again. “Why don’t you drop me at my place? I just want to crash.”

  He drove in that direction. “We’ll have to sort the luggage and the shopping bags.”

  “I’m not up for that tonight. I’ll grab my suitcases and tomorrow night we can sort the shopping bags, okay?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I feel absolutely weak, I’m so tired. I’m sure.” Glancing over her shoulder, she saw both kids still sound asleep. She got out in her driveway.

  Steve exited the car and popped the trunk. He carried her two suitcases in the house.

  “Tell the kids good-bye for me.” She slipped her arms around his waist.

  “I will.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

  “Anything I can do before I go?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

  They kissed a long, slow good-bye kiss.

  “I love you,” she told him. “Thank you for everything this weekend.”

  “I love you, too. I hope you had fun, for the most part.”

  She squeezed his butt with both hands. “Of course I did. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

  “Absolutely.” He kissed her one more time, and left.

  Catlin unpacked her suitcases then went to bed. She felt queasy in her stomach, and extremely tired. She slept fitfully again that night, waking for hours at a time, thinking about Christian. Her thoughts would eventually stray to Nick, and that upset her. She loved Steve so much, and could not imagine why she kept thinking of Nick. It made her angry at herself. She was still grouchy and queasy when she got up the next morning.

  Jetta noticed her mood, and asked her about it. “The romantic weekend not go well?”

  Catlin shook her head. “It was fine.”

  “Fine.” Jetta repeated. “That’s a word I use to describe to math paper. Not a romantic weekend.”

  Catlin chuckled. “It was good, really. I’m just worn out. I think I’m coming down with a bug or something. I feel icky.”

  Jetta laughed. “Stay away from me, then. I don’t want your germs.”

  Catlin grabbed her soda can. “Look who’s talking. Buy your own soda, why don’t you?”

  She made it thought the day, and went over to Steve’s after work.

  “Hey.” He smiled as she walked in to the kitchen. “I’m glad to see you.” He put his arms around her and kissed her. “I got used to spending all that time with you. I missed you today.”

  She collapsed into him. “Me too. What a long day.”

  “Come sit down. You look tired.”

  “I feel like crap. I think I’m coming down with something. I’ve felt lousy all day.”

  He sat her on the sofa, and put her feet up. “Are you hungry?”

  “No.” She shook her head, and held her stomach.

  “Want me to get you a blanket?”

  “I just want to go home. I don’t think I can relax here.”

  “Catlin.” He looked at her. “Are you mad at me?”

  “No,” she said honestly, and stood. “I’m just feeling bad. I shouldn’t have come. I’m going to take off. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “I could come home with you.”

  She waved him off. “Stay with the kids, honey. I just want to sleep.”

  “You want your stuff from the weekend?” He motioned to the other couch, where their shopping bags were.

  “Some other time. I’ll talk to you later.” Catlin left quickly, the queasy feeling returning.

  She made it home and to the toilet before she threw up, then crawled into bed. Tossin
g and turning until midnight, she finally pulled the phone into bed with her. She pulled out the business card Craig had given her and dialed.

  “Hello?” his sleepy voice answered.

  “Craig? It’s me, Catlin.”

  “Catlin!” He woke up quickly. “What are you doing? Is something wrong?”

  “No, not really. I just needed to talk to you.”

  “In the middle of the night? This better be good.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. Never mind.” She hung up, and lay back in her bed.

  The phone rang back at her. She picked it up quickly.

  “Hello Craig,” she said.

  “Don’t call me after ten years and then say never mind. What’s going on?”

  “Dammit, I’m so confused. I just don’t know what to do.”

  “About what?” He yawned.

  “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

  “I’m sure. About what?”

  “About Nick….and his son.”

  “Your son,” he reminded her.

  “My son. Oh Craig, what should I do?”

  “What do you want to do? I thought you weren’t interested.”

  “I wasn’t. But I can’t get him off my mind. I’ve made myself sick worrying about this.”

  “Why in the hell are you worrying? Why don’t you just come down here and meet him?”

  “Because this can’t be happening to me now. A few months ago I was alone and lonely and I would have jumped at this opportunity. But now, things are different. I have a new life going now, Craig.”

  “A new life without room for old children?”

  She groaned. “I don’t know how to tell Steve. He has no idea about any of this.”

  “Well, if he’s half the mature, responsible guy that you say he is, don’t you think he’ll understand about Chris? You made the best decision you could at age sixteen. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right decision now.”

  “When did I say he was mature and responsible?”

  Craig didn’t answer.

  “Did Nick tell you everything I said?”

  “Some of it,” Craig admitted. “He told me it felt good seeing you again. He couldn’t believe how beautiful you are.”