by India Lee
“And you said Sophie seems to be thinking the same thing?”
“I don’t know for sure. I might just be projecting my feelings on her,” Tyler exhaled. “Sophie’s… the quiet type.”
“Really?” Gemma asked, truly surprised. “Because, I mean, that laugh…”
“I know,” Tyler smiled. “That she can’t control. Not that she would. I don’t know, I guess I don’t mean quiet in the way that most people think when they say someone’s quiet. She’s just very happy to be a part of the background. She’s not shy and it’s not like she doesn’t speak her mind. It’s more that she never really needs to. It’s funny – she and I have been together for much longer than anyone thinks. It’s just that no one figured it out because she sort of blends into wherever we are. But she’s like this warm ball of light that makes everything around her better and happier without anyone in the room knowing or understanding why the room feels suddenly sunnier. I can’t explain it.”
“So is she not like that now?”
Tyler winced, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s definitely been a little muted, more so than usual,” he said. “And without her being her normal self, it makes me doubt everything around me. It makes me remember how hard it is to get to a point in a relationship where you love someone so much that you depend completely on them for your happiness.” His voice cracked. He leaned back against his seat, heaving a sigh as he peered awkward at Gemma. “See, this is why I didn’t think we should talk about this…” Tyler turned his head slightly to look at her, frowning.
“I’m not uncomfortable discussing it if you aren’t,” she replied. So much had tugged and pulled at her heart in the past few months. It had somehow bounced back into shape every time, each time a little stronger. It was a conversation she felt totally ready to have.
Tyler cleared his throat. “Gemma, when I proposed to you,” he began, slowly. He sighed again, looking nervous. “I did it because I didn’t want to lose you. And I could feel you slipping from my grasp and I couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t ready for it. But after we ended it, I realized the thing I was most afraid of losing was my idea of what you would become for me.” Gemma furrowed her brows, confused.
“What do you mean?”
“I had a lot of time to think about us after we broke it off. Since I was taking a break from singing and touring and I was focusing on acting, I wasn’t moving around enough to keep me from thinking nonstop – mostly about why we didn’t work out. And why we blew up the way we did.”
“Did you figure it out?” Gemma asked curiously, watching as Tyler’s eyes returned to the road. He nodded.
“I fell in love with you at your concert in Barcelona,” he explained. “And it was because I was positive without a doubt that you and I were soul mates. I’ll admit I became kind of obsessed with that idea. I researched every last detail and everything I found just validated my feeling that you and I were meant to be together. We had so much in common. We were both young, the same age, we knew what it meant to be internationally famous and to not be able to take two steps in public without being photographed. I thought if anyone in the world could understand how I lived, it would be you.”
“I wasn’t even famous in this country until you called me out,” Gemma laughed.
“It would have happened anyway,” Tyler smiled. “Because you turned out to be as talented and beautiful close up as you were when I saw you on stage.”
Gemma looked down at her hands and back up at Tyler. “Do you think now that you were wrong?” she asked quietly. “To think we were soul mates?”
“I realized, even while we were dating, that you weren’t the person I thought you were. But that wasn’t a bad thing, it just meant that your life was actually different than mine. You did the disguise so you could have another life and it was in that other life that you did your living. And that was how Damian knew you and always knew you. You guys were never just friends.”
“Except, we were,” Gemma argued. “I didn’t have feelings for him when you and I were together. I swear on everything I care about that I didn’t like him like that.”
“Maybe not. But he was special to you. You didn’t rely on anyone the way you relied on him. And I didn’t like that. I wanted to be that person for you.”
Gemma went silent, strumming her fingers on the leather divider between them. “He was just a friend, then,” he said, finally. And now, he’s just a memory.
“And that’s all I wanted to be,” Tyler said. “But you never let me.”
“Does any of this have to do with what’s going on now?” Gemma asked, trying not to sound too irritated.
“You married Damian in Vegas. And as much as everyone’s saying you two were too drunk to make that decision, I think you would have held back if you didn’t really want to. If you had a doubt at all, you would have stopped it from happening, like you stopped any chance of us being engaged when we were together. You’re a strong person. You know what you want and you get what you want. That’s how you ended up jumping off a cliff, isn’t it?”
“I did that because I wasn’t really in my right mind,” Gemma laughed, bitterly. “How can you use that against me now?”
“I’m not using anything against you now,” Tyler laughed. “This isn’t a fight, Gemma, we’re not arguing. Isn’t that kind of a breath of fresh air for us?” He asked with a little grin, trying to coax Gemma onto the same page as him. “Everything that’s in the past is in the past. Everything I bring up is just for reference. It’s been years since we were a couple and I think it’s safe to say that neither one of us is the same person we were when we were dating.”
“So what are you saying then?”
“I guess I’m asking advice,” he said. “I want to know, if I feel just an ounce of doubt, is it possible that this isn’t the right move for me?”
“Marrying Sophie?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to be with her? Do you love her?”
“Yes. And yes.”
“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with her?” Gemma asked. Tyler tilted his head, thinking about it.
“Definitely,” he finally answered.
“So why is this even a question?” Gemma snorted. “What are you afraid of?”
“The idea of the wedding scares me,” Tyler said straightaway. “The stress with the guest list, the ceremony, dealing with the paparazzi that I’m sure will show up even when we try to keep the details of the whole thing under wraps.” Tyler drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, frowning. “And I don’t like the fact that Sophie seems scared about it too. I want her to be happy. I don’t want to force her into a mold that she’s not comfortable with.”
“The mold being celebrity bride?” Gemma asked. “While several hundred people stare at her as she walks down the aisle?”
“Five hundred to be exact,” Tyler said. Gemma raised an eyebrow.
“Damn. I don’t know much about weddings but that seems…”
“Excessive, I know.” Tyler shook his head. “You know, when I heard you and Damian got married in Vegas, I think I was jealous.”
“What?” Gemma asked, startled.
“Don’t worry. Not in the way you think,” he smiled. “It’s just that there were a thousand moments I can think of that I wanted just to take Sophie to the nearest courthouse and marry her. But I decided against it because it seemed really unromantic. I wanted to do things right with the ring and asking her parents and having both our families there because this is how real love and real weddings are supposed to be. But then I heard about you and Damian and – well, at first I was like, ‘I fucking knew it,’” Tyler laughed, shaking his head. “But then, I realized I was jealous because I would have done that with Sophie. In a heartbeat.”
“Tyler,” Gemma shook her head. “I was drunk out of my mind. Blackout. That’s not how anyone wants to get married.” He shrugged, taking his car out of park as the traffic finally started to move again. They sat
in the car, slowly trudging down Sunset Boulevard.
“This traffic’s worse than it usually is,” Tyler said, looking around as he changed the subject. “There must have closed down some streets.”
“Yeah,” Gemma replied, frowning. She wasn’t thinking about the traffic. She was thinking again about Damian and how little she remembered of the night. Tyler was right – she must have wanted to get married that night. Being drunk took away inhibitions but not judgment altogether, right? Gemma shook her head. That doesn’t sound right.
“Thank you for listening to me,” Tyler smiled. “It was kind of nice to get that off my chest.”
“But we haven’t solved the problem,” Gemma said.
“We don’t have to fix everything right away, it’s just nice to get the ball rolling.”
“You haven’t told anyone else about this?” Gemma asked. “How about Mike? Or…” She trailed off, realizing she didn’t know of anyone else that Tyler would talk to about something so serious.
“Yeah,” he laughed. “I don’t have friends, I know.”
“Well,” Gemma frowned, reaching forward to give his shoulder a squeeze. She thought about what Lucas and Azura had said, suggesting she’d be a friend to Damian by being understanding of the type of support he needed. They had both, in their way, implied that she didn’t provide the same friendship that Damian had always provided her. The accusations stung but they had come with the best of intentions.
Not only that, they had been a hundred percent true.
And as she sat in the car with Tyler, Gemma wondered if they shared a similarly unbalanced relationship. There was no doubt that he had wanted more than she did in a time when she didn’t really know what she wanted. And Tyler had always wanted to be her friend, to talk to her and know her in that deep, connected way that Damian had. But she didn’t know how to provide him that either. Have I really just been an awful friend to everyone all these years? She thought about Zoe and Leah and Kate. Gemma didn’t doubt her friendships with them, but then again, it wasn’t like she had dated any of them. Maybe she was just a terrible friend to Damian and Tyler because she had assumed being a girlfriend automatically made her a good friend. But obviously, it didn’t.
“Well,” Tyler repeated, apparently thinking they were wrapping up the topic.
“How did I do just now?” Gemma asked. Tyler flashed his brows, looking over at her.
“What do you mean?”
“Did I do okay?” she asked, blushing at the stupidity of the question. “As a friend? Because if that helped you at all, I’d like to continue doing that for you.” Gemma shook her head, laughing at how ridiculous she must have sounded.
Tyler’s grin spread wide. “Actually, yeah,” he answered, sounding genuinely enthusiastic. “You did great – friend.” He smiled before breaking out into a laugh with her.
“Does that mean we’re splitting the bill tonight?” Gemma teased.
“No, it means you’re picking up the whole thing,” Tyler replied. “I believe I got the last one.” She smiled to herself, looking out the window and watching the view as the traffic cleared and the car picked up speed. The familiar landmarks on Sunset zipped by her and for a moment, it almost felt as if she were just driving home with Tyler. It was that same, familiar comfort, despite being years removed from it.
As they approached the small, winding side street that veered off of Sunset Boulevard and up into the hills where their old house used to wait for them, Gemma felt her throat catch. She watched the street sign as Tyler continued to drive past it, watching it disappear behind them in the rearview mirror.
EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS OF GEMMA HUNTER ON WATERWAY SET
June Magazine
February 18th
Looks like one of the featured “Designers to Watch” from our annual Fashion Week spread has been keeping busy since her stellar runway show! We’re happy to report that the ever-talented Gemma Hunter has been working on the imaginative film set for Waterway, led by the film industry’s most couture-happy director, Burke Faust.
Though Gemma was the unfortunate and undeserved recipient of scathing doubt and ridicule for her burgeoning career in fashion, she seems to be doing just fine alongside those who appreciate and recognize a true eye for fashion. Shown in recent photos is a much more confident-looking Gemma, who deserves to be proud of the colorful and imaginative designs that truly steal the spotlight on Faust’s set.
“Her talent is what drew me to her,” said Faust. “But her work ethic is what will secure her spot on every future project of mine, if she would so wish to work with me again. I know I’d be lucky to have her.”
DAMIAN EVANS MISSES SIXTH GAME DUE TO “SUPER-FLU”
The Big Assist
February 28th
You can’t blame a guy for getting sick. But you can definitely blame him for staying out at all hours of the night and opting to dance with models at 3AM than get some much-needed rest. Or maybe it has less to do with the lack of sleep and more to do with constant swapping of spit. After all, Knicks guard Damian Evans is seen draped in women more often than he’s seen dribbling a ball at this point.
So here’s an open letter to the man who gave us Knicks fans hope for a second:
Evans. You’re killing us. It’s probably no coincidence that you’ve missed six games and we’ve lost as much in a row. Six games missed and six new losses to tack onto our record.
We don’t completely hate you yet. Really. It might be because we’re desperate for a win and we know you can deliver it, but so what? All that matters is there’s still a chance we’ve held onto that we’ve written your name on.
Come back to us, D-Train. That isn’t your nickname but we want it to be. We’ve been dying to love you since before you signed here. Please. Please don’t disappoint us.
“Last day in paradise,” Burke said as he watched Gemma fit April in her last gown. The production was a surprisingly hands on experience, with Gemma making adjustments to her creations between nearly every take. It was no wonder that Burke wanted the designer on set. He was known for the integrity of his projects and it seemed he didn’t trust anyone but the creator to work with the piece.
“Don’t remind me,” Gemma said. “I’m not ready to get back to reality.”
“Then do what I do,” Burke suggested. “Live solely in a fantasy world and blissfully ignore anything that contradicts it.”
“That doesn’t sound safe,” April laughed, lifting her thin arms to let Gemma braid the straps of her dress around her body.
“Does ‘safe’ seem like a word in my vocabulary,” Burke asked.
“Guess not,” April replied, glancing at Gemma. Gemma smiled back with a look of understanding.
Their month in Maui had proved to be a testament to Burke’s lifestyle. It was true. The word “safe” was nowhere to be found in his vocabulary, which he proved over and over with what his crazy visions demanded. Gemma could see now that with genius came a touch of crazy, although in Burke’s case, it was certainly not just a touch. But every time he pitched some insane change, she noticed only those who were new to him would hesitate. The majority of the crew was handpicked by him and had worked with him many times before. Even the most reasonable, logical-looking members seemed to dutifully fulfill his requests, even if the request was to find a dozen sea turtles to put in a scene last minute, as he had earlier that day. “CGing them in later would just be tacky,” Burke had said. They trusted that Burke’s brand of crazy delivered results.
“They’re such funny creatures, aren’t they?” Burke said, watching as the newly hired animal wranglers tried to position the turtles in the right place on the sand.
“I think they’re beautiful,” April said. “And they must be onto something if they live so long, right? They’ve obviously figured out the secret of life.” Gemma watched as one turtle plodded through the sand, slipping into the water without anyone noticing. She thought about saying something, but for some reason, decided to keep it to he
rself.
“That’s probably why they’re so slow, huh?” Burke suggested. “They can take their time to get wherever they’re going because they’re going to outlive everyone anyway. Might as well enjoy the ride.”
~
Though she had a great time working on Burke’s production, it was a relieving feeling when they got their last shot in the can. Finally, Gemma would be able to enjoy Maui without knowing she would have to wake up at the break of dawn and work into some ungodly hour, watching her assistants fix up whatever damage that the elements had done to the wardrobe she created, just so they could do everything over the next day.
It meant finally having the mind to participate in conversation with the cast and crew, finally taking in and appreciating the beauty of the island she was standing on. She downed a double shot of espresso so she wouldn’t pass out the moment she returned to her room. They were having a luau that night, as an impromptu wrap party and a way to send everyone off.
After taking a quick shower and slipping into a light sundress, Gemma finally opened her laptop and swiped open her phone, ready to get back to all the messages she had ignored. Despite her own wishes, she felt herself hoping that somewhere within the mess of missed contacts, she’d find something from Damian. Not to her surprise, there was nothing. She frowned at herself, wondering how she was even able to hold out hope for so long.