by Jane Charles
Her shoulders relaxed. “Good. I don’t think I could.”
“It was wrong of me to ask it of you in the first place.” Clay led her up the steps and into the summer house and over to the chaise. He did not sit next to her, but took a chair across from Elle.
“I am sorry,” he blurted out.
Elle’s eyebrows rose. “I beg your pardon?”
“I am an ass. A judgmental prig. I am not worthy of you.” He stood and paced, thrusting his fingers through his hair. “You are nothing but good, wonderful, passionate, devoted, and kind. I am a selfish and pompous ass who decided your fate without asking questions. I determined one thing based on one observation. I treated you horribly and have said and done the wrong thing so many times I am surprised you are even here with me now. I’ve hurt you and you deserved none of it.” He swung around and looked at her. “You should tell me to go to the very devil.”
Elle sat back and stared at him, her mouth agape. “I don’t understand.”
“I want you, Elle. I need you. You are what makes my life bright and happy. You are all I think about. You are in my first thoughts in the morning and the last when I fall asleep. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Forgive you?”
He knelt before her and grasped her hands in his. “For assuming the worst of you and Jamie. For making you my mistress for a night and taking that which should only be given to a husband. For walking out on you in such a cold manner.”
“Hush.” She put her finger to his lips.
Clay pulled back. “I can’t, not until you forgive me. Please say you will and I will make it up to you. Whatever you need is yours.”
Tears glistened in her eyes. “This is unnecessary. You saved my life.”
“I don’t want gratitude.” He pulled away. “I want you to forgive me for being a bloody ass.”
The smile started slowly, then spread across her face. A moment later she was laughing. Elle was laughing at him. Was she going to send him to the devil or had she forgiven him? Clay couldn’t laugh, he couldn’t breathe. He needed to hear the words.
“Of course I forgive you. It is impossible not to.”
Relief surged through his being and every emotion he had been holding tight rein on burst free. She forgave him. Maybe someday she would love him as well. Unable to control his thoughts or actions Clay pulled her to him and brought her lips to his. He had her and he was never letting her go.
Chapter 27
Elle melted against him, her heart hammering in her chest, pulse quick with hope. He didn’t want her for a mistress, but wanted her to forgive him. Hope surged, but even if he wanted nothing else from her, she had him now and she wasn’t about to give up this moment for anything. Despite everything they had been through, he was her anchor and Elle grasped his shoulders and pulled him close as he deepened the kiss. Heat swept through her body and her breasts ached to be touched. The room became oppressive and she longed to strip from her gown and lay on the bed with Clay, naked, with the breeze cooling their skin. He may not wish for her to be his mistress, but she had only one thing to give him and one thing she wanted from him at the moment. Eleanor didn’t know what tomorrow would bring, or even today, but right here and now, she wanted Clay. She wanted to experience that joy of being in his arms and of making love. It may be her one and only chance and she was going to take it, whether he wished it or not.
His hands molded around her ribs as his lips left hers, trailing a path to her jaw then neck. Her breasts were heavy, straining against her clothing and his thumbs lay just below the mounds. Why wouldn’t he bring them up? Why wouldn’t he touch her?
His tongue darted out and trailed the skin just above her bodice. A groan came from the back of her throat and Elle let her head drop back, enjoying the sensations that rioted through her body. The secret place between her thighs began to pulse and she tightened her legs for added pressure. She hadn’t even known such a spot existed, or the release it could bring until Clay had touched and kissed her there. Oh how she wanted him to do that again.
His hands moved to the shoulders of her gown and he began pushing the sleeves down her arms. Yes!
“Damn and blast.”
Elle opened her eyes and looked at Clay. He was pushing her dress back into place and pulling away. Wait, what was he doing?
“I am sorry. It seems I lose my right mind whenever I am near you.”
“What do you mean?” Certainly he wasn’t going to leave her now, especially in this state. He couldn’t.
“I will not treat you in such a manner.”
Was it so horrible being with her before? “You don’t want me?”
Clay choked. “There is no other woman I want or desire. You could very well have ruined me for all other ladies.”
A spark of pride lit within her breast.
“But, you are not my wife, and I will not treat you as a mistress.”
“What if I want this?” It was a bold statement but she couldn’t let him walk out of her life. Not yet.
“It is unfair to you. I need to show you more respect and tossing up your skirts once again is not a way to do so.”
A smile pulled at her lips as she glanced down to the bulge in his breeches. While his mind may insist on one thing, his body wanted another. “What if I toss my own skirts?” She grabbed her gown and slowly pulled the material, inch by inch, until her knees were exposed. Elle knew she risked losing all of his respect, but he said nothing about love or a future. This could very well be their last moments together and she wasn’t going to let him walk out of the room without having made love. She just hoped she could seduce him into staying.
His eyes were fixated on her legs and Elle continued to draw the skirt up.
*
He was lost. Clay swore he would not touch her, and specifically not make love to her until they were married. But, how could he deny what she was offering. He was not that strong. His body ached with need and he knew if he touched her core she would be damp and ready for him. But did he dare? She hadn’t agreed to marry him. Of course, he hadn’t asked. But, he wasn’t sure of her answer.
Was now the time?
She nipped his neck and trailed kisses to his collar bone as her fingers deftly loosed the fastenings on his shirt. She may want him, may have forgiven him, but that didn’t mean she was willing to marry him. If he asked her now and she said no, the moment would be lost. And, he had to be with her, had to be in her now. He would ask, after. When they could both think clearly again.
Her fingers slid inside his shirt and caressed over his nipples. The hand with her broken wrist moved awkwardly but it didn’t diminish the sensations that caused his blood to heat and his body to harden further. He would explode if he didn’t have her soon.
Removing her hands from him, Clay stood and brought Elle to her feet. Turning so that she faced away from him, he undid her gown and stripped it from her body, leaving her only in her chemise, which he quickly pulled from her body before he picked her up and carried her to the bed where he tossed her gently. He was going to expire on the spot.
After yanking the shirt over his head he pulled his breeches from his body, stopped to yank his boots off and toss them across the room. He fell down beside her. Elle rolled into him and began kissing his jaw, neck and chest. He cupped her breast, and molded it, feeling the weight, the nipple already pebbled in her desire and anticipation.
He pushed her onto her back and took one peak into his mouth while caressing the other and back and forth, giving each equal amount of attention. She squirmed beneath him, lifting her hips toward his body. Clay knew where she ached and probably pulsed with the same need as he.
Slipping his hand down her stomach he found the folds within her curls and touched. Elle sighed and pressed into his hand. This was not going to be a gentle slow lovemaking. His body was on fire and the way she thrashed and strained, he knew she wanted her release sooner than later.
Dipping for the moisture he came forward again, ci
rcling and teasing. She swelled beneath his fingertips and her groans became louder and more insistent. He knew she was close and was tempted to draw out her release, but his body was already aching beyond anything he ever experienced. Her pants grew quick and a moment later Elle stiffened and cried out before she collapsed on the bed.
Coming between her thighs she opened for him and Clay thrust deep into her welcoming channel.
*
Elle could barely comprehend what had happened. She had known this explosion before, but didn’t remember it being so wonderful. Stars sparked behind her eyelids and everything went black as her body convulsed in the most delicious release possible. As soon as she could move, she would bring Clay the same pleasure but he didn’t give her a chance. The ache deep instead renewed the moment she felt him press against her. She opened and welcomed him in. He filled her and there was no pain this time, just exquisite pleasure that would be over too soon. This is where it had ended last time. It was a shame it couldn’t go on.
He didn’t stop. Instead, he pulled back and thrust again. Elle opened her eyes to look at him.
He took her lips and plundered her with his mouth and body. Over and over and she tried to meet him thrust for thrust. The tension inside her belly built again. Surely it wasn’t possible to do this twice. Goodness, she would expire on the spot.
His mouth didn’t leave hers. Over and over he filled her, the tightness built and before Elle knew what was happening she splintered, crying out against his lips. Clay groaned, thrust two more times and collapsed on the bed beside her.
What had just happened? This was so much better than before and it was a shame it may never happen again. How could she go on with the rest of her life not experiencing moments like this ever again?
Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away. She would not let him see her cry. He already carried too much guilt and she wouldn’t let him carry this. Especially since she was the one who had insisted they make love.
His arms snaked around her middle and he drew her close before placing a kiss on her naked shoulder. “This was not supposed to happen.”
“I wanted it to. Are you angry?” What if he hated her, or lost all respect for her. Before she hadn’t cared, but she did now. She loved him and couldn’t bear the thought of him not caring for her any longer.
Clay chuckled. “Far from angry. Very far from it.”
Relief swept through her. Maybe she could be his mistress. Would it be so bad? Then they could share moments like this until they both tired.
No, she dismissed the idea from her mind. She didn’t want payment to be with him. This wasn’t a business transaction. But, would he be open to the idea of having her as a lover?
She bit her lip and pondered the idea. He may reject it out of hand given what he had said earlier, but if he desired her as much as she did him, then why shouldn’t they be together? Now, to determine how she could keep him here, or at least close to her home.
Clay leveled himself up and propped his head into his hand and stared down at her. “I think you have recovered physically.”
“Most definitely.”
“Good.” He nodded. “We leave tomorrow.”
“Leave?”
“I am taking you to Bentley Manor.”
Her heartbeat increased. “Why?”
“It is farther away from your grandfather. You and the children will be safe there.”
She didn’t understand. “I am safe here. In fact, I thought of moving back to my house tomorrow.” There really was no longer a need to stay in Drake’s home.
Clay’s face hardened. “Until you reach your majority, you are not going to be where your grandfather can get to you.”
There was truth in his statement. “Why Bentley Manor and not here?”
“If your grandfather were to come here, he could force you to leave as he is your guardian. He will not suspect you are in my home.”
As far as her grandfather knew, her association with Clay had come to an end. It might be the perfect place to hide from him. And, if she went with Clay, that would give her almost two months to spend with him. “What of the children?”
His brow furrowed. “Of course they will come with us. You didn’t think I would leave them behind?”
Heat singed her skin. She had been afraid of that very thing. “I just can’t be parted from them.”
Clay leaned in and kissed her brow. “You won’t. Not until they are grown and are out on their own.”
Thank goodness. Elle snuggled against him and closed her eyes.
“So you have no objection to traveling tomorrow?”
A secret smile pulled at her lips. “No.” They may not have a future, but she intended to spend every opportunity in moments like this until her birthday, as long as she could keep it a secret from the children and everyone else in his household.
Chapter 28
Clay had never been so happy to see Bentley Manor in his entire life. The last four days had been grueling. Not only was he forced to ride in the confines of a carriage with Eleanor, without touching her, Lady Acker and her son had decided to chaperone. He was not allowed one moment alone with Elle since they left Acker Hall the morning after he had made love to Elle in the summer house. That first night at the inn he had been hopeful, but Acker must have read his mind. Before Clay could arrange for the rooms, his friend had done the honors, leaving Elle and Leigh in one, Lady Acker in another, Clay with the two youngest boys and Acker with the two oldest. As he stood in the hall, Acker looked at him. “Be sure and not to leave them alone.”
As if he would leave two small children alone in a room in a strange inn. Even if he were alone, he couldn’t have gone to Elle. She shared a room with Leigh. Clay could still hear Acker’s laughter when he informed Clay, “Someone has been using the summer house for what I suspect are intimate interludes. As only you and Elle have been there, I can only speculate.”
Clay’s stomach had knotted at what Acker guessed.
“Since I know your intentions, I will not make an issue of it. However, your time is running out before I force you to do the right thing.”
That time had arrived when the carriages pulled in front of the manor. Were his brothers here? Letters had been delivered nearly a week ago, once he made up his mind that Eleanor would be his for the rest of his life. He couldn’t do this without them, and he wanted their approval. But even if they didn’t grant it, Clay was going to marry Eleanor, whether she liked it or not.
But first, he had to tell her one secret. The one only his family and Lady Acker and her son knew.
He stepped out of the carriage and offered his arm to Elle. “Please walk with me.”
She looked at him with mild curiosity but allowed him to take her arm and lead her away from the others.
“I need to tell you something that very few know and it is imperative this remains a secret.”
“I won’t say a word.”
“Not even my step-mother or Madeline, my younger sister, know.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t tell me.”
She had to know. Elle needed to know each family secret before he asked her to be his wife.
Pausing beside a bench underneath a shade tree, he motioned for her to sit and settled beside her. Taking her hand he told her everything about Adele, Julia, his father, more than he intended. But, his life spilled forth. “I was like him when we met. I don’t want to be like him and I want to kill any resemblance to that man in my life.”
Elle brought a gloved hand to his cheek. “You are nothing like him. I am not sure you ever were.”
She was far more generous than he deserved.
“Also, you can never tell anyone that Adele and Julia are alive. It would ruin Rose and Madeline.”
“I would never, ever do such a thing. It isn’t their fault they find themselves in this particular situation and it isn’t necessary for anyone to know.”
Clay sighed with relief, stood and offered her his arm. “The
n it is time you met my family.”
Elle faltered. “They are here?”
“All of them, I hope.”
“Will they mind us descending upon them?” She had begun to drag her feet, as if she didn’t want to return to the manor.
“They won’t. And if they did, I am the lord here, and can do as I please.”
*
Elle blew out a breath and allowed Clay to lead her toward the four story manor with its gabled windows. His home was beautiful, with well-manicured gardens, flora and fountains. She couldn’t begin to guess how many rooms it held and she feared Jamie getting lost, never to be found again. She would need to keep him by her side at all times, or with Leigh. She intended to spend as much time alone with Clay as she could until her birthday and it was safe to return home.
The doors loomed ahead and a footman waited. Was his entire family really inside? She had already met the second brother, Jordan, but not the two younger ones, or his step-mother and sister. What would they think of her? Would they suspect she and Clay were lovers?
Heat sprang to her cheeks. Nobody must suspect and she must be careful not to do anything that would lead them to suspect.
Clay led her into the drawing room. Besides her own family, Lady Acker and Drake, all of Clay’s family were inside. They watched her expectantly, studying her. It was most disconcerting.
“Well?” Drake asked.
Clay shot him a look.
“Well, what?” she asked.
“Miss Westin, let me introduce you to my family.” He led her from one person to the next until they were once again standing in the center of the room.
“I approve,” Jordan stated and tossed back a drink.
The other two brothers nodded and Lady Bentley beamed. John, the youngest slipped an arm around wife, Elizabeth’s waist and took a drink. Her eyes twinkled with merriment.