Betty returned to her office with a new impression of Franklin Renfro and even more focused on the case. As she sat at her desk her two fingers lightly touched her lips as she would do when deep in thought, and her mind actively searched for unturned stones in the case. As a moot court case with relevance came to mind, she walked across the room to her law books, when she heard her secretary’s voice on the speakerphone.
“Hello?” Betty said from across the room.
“Well, guess who just called.”
“Don’t tell me. Tell Jacqui I’m sorry I didn’t get by there for lunch and that I will call her back in an hour.”
“No, it wasn’t Jacqui,” Carol replied.
“Evander?”
“Strike two. It was your new best friend up on eighteen.”
“New friend? What new—oh, you mean Kathy?”
“Yeah. She told me you were having a little Waiting to Exhale moment scheduled for your house after the trial is over.”
“Yeah. It’ll be fun,” Betty laughed as she marked her spot in the law book with her finger. “Is that the only reason she called?”
“No. She said that all of the associates are supposed to be in the conference room at three-fifteen for some reason.”
“Jeez. I’m busy,” she said as she looked at the stacks of files yet to be opened. “Do you know what for?”
“No idea, and she didn’t say. But I hate to tell you this. While you were at lunch, Jill Williams called me and told me that she was told by Mr. Collins that they made it official a couple of hours ago. They gave the partnership to Patterson. I’m so sorry, honey.”
Betty slowly closed the book and sat on the arm of her couch as she continued to stare down at her phone.
“Are you okay in there?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied as she heard Jacqui’s voice in her mind saying, Don’t trust them. It’s a den of thieves. Quietly she mumbled, “When they want to win a case, he picks me, but Patterson gets on the letterhead.”
“Betty? Betty, are you okay? She told me that it came down to the two of you, if that’s any consolation. But somehow he got the nod. Jill doesn’t know why.”
“I’m fine, Carol,” she said as she plotted her next move in the firm. “I’m just fine.”
Betty walked into the conference room at exactly 3:15 and it was packed. Renfro walked in at precisely 3:20, flanked by Collins, a partner by the name of Robert Stockton, and the newest addition to the partnership, R. Raymond Patterson.
Raymond glanced at Betty, and as she looked back at him he cowardly looked away. Lord, I hope they’re not bringing us in here to announce this fool is a partner. And then Betty smiled as she refused to allow the wheels turning in her head to show in her eyes. It would be so easy to pull Renfro aside after the meeting and demand an explanation, but she was thoroughly convinced that the way to advance in the firm was to make herself immeasurably irreplaceable. Therefore the case was even more important to her future with Murphy, Renfro and Collins. They want to win the case, they choose me, she repeated. Ain’t that something?
“G’afternoon everyone,” Renfro said with a glum expression. “It is my sincere displeasure to give you this information.” He did not have to say anything else as Betty’s lower jaw fell. With the blood draining from her face, she knew this was the news she’d dreaded for the past two months, and now she was forced to face it.
“At twelve-thirteen this afternoon our friend, our mentor, our colleague, our leader, Jack Murphy, had a second heart attack and left us.” Renfro looked up at the ceiling as Betty trembled.
“Jack, as you all know, was a man amongst men. I can assure you, I will forever be a better person as a result of working with him.” Renfro continued to speak for about ten minutes, telling stories of the struggles they’d had in building the firm and cases they’d worked on together. While Betty didn’t feel his sincerity, she was most distressed by the fact he never spoke of the real Jack. The Jack who was a great husband and caring father and a not-so-good fly fisherman. He only spoke of his partner in the legal concern and how they had won various cases.
Then Robert Stockton stood up to talk and he spoke for a few minutes about how he and Jack had outfoxed an insurance company. Patterson then stood to tell how he’d wanted to work with Jack on a particular case, but Jack had told him that he did not need his expertise. “He told me,” R. Raymond said, “you have a bright future with us and I have confidence in your abilities to handle it alone.” Then a parade of attorneys stood to tell their Jack story, each implying that the previous lawyer could not have known him as well as he or she did. Like the others, Betty stood, but not to give them a better story. Emotion was siphoned from her face as she walked across the room toward the door. After leaving the room, she walked quickly to the elevator, still showing not a hint of her true sentiments. When the doors opened, she felt the awkward tumble in her chest as she felt faint and a little weak in her knees, but no tears fell. Betty leaned on the back of the elevator as she returned to the seventeenth floor of the Olsen Building, unnerved and alone.
In her office, Betty stepped over the files, sat behind her desk, and looked out the window she had gazed out so often before. Ironically, there was a dark cloud in the offing, casting a shadow as the forewarning of the approaching thunderstorm. Immediately she thought about calling Jacqui, but her fingers dialed Evander. She knew he said he was going to visit his mother, but she hoped he hadn’t left yet.
“Hello, Eastside Bakery. Would you like to try our new chocolate twirlers today?”
“Hi, Val.” As she spoke she surprised herself with the calmness of her voice. “I know he’s supposed to be gone, but has Evander left for his mom’s yet?”
“Oh hey, Betty, I think he has. One second.”
“I have the phone, Val,” Evander said on the other line. “Hey, baby, how are you? What’s wrong?”
He can tell something is wrong? Without me even saying a word? God, I love this man. “We got the news this morning.”
“Murphy?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
“One second. Val?” Evander shouted away from the receiver of the phone. “Hey, Vally! Come here! Take care of this Kinko’s order for Charlotte. I was going to do it before I left, okay? I got to run for a second. Betty,” he said, taking control. “I’ll be right there. You stay in your office. Lock your door and don’t let the rest of those jerks see you like this, okay? Not even Carol. Hear me?”
“Okay,” she said as meekly as a five-year-old being told not to open the door for strangers.
Prince Evander must have run every light between the bakery and the Olsen Building in his white stallion disguised as a sports utility vehicle.
“I’m here, baby. Open the door.” As Betty unlocked the door, he walked in immediately and, without uttering a word, embraced her while gently rubbing the back of her neck. “It’s gonna be okay,” he said, and closed the door behind him.
Betty could feel tears in her eyes for the first time in years as she laid her head on Evander’s chest.
“Let it out, baby. It’ll feel better,” he said in his slow, soothing, deep, southern voice. Enunciating each syllable, he repeated, “Betty? Let it all out.”
“You should see them,” she said, and took his handkerchief for her runny nose. “They’re in there now with these long windy speeches trying to get in position for his parking space and shit. I hate to talk like that, but—but it just doesn’t make any—it’s just not right,” she said, and buried her face in his neck. “The man deserved more than that.” And then the tears came forth. The tears of loss, fear, rejection, acceptance, victory, defeat, death, love, and hate. They flowed for the past twenty years. Although the pain was deep inside, Evander and the tears were a small dose of relief for her years of heartache.
Evander held her face as she lowered her eyes and he kissed her softly. And then he eased off the desk and led her to the couch. Betty leaned into his chest as she sat and l
ooked up at the ceiling. “I hate feeling like this. I know I’m supposed to be strong. But sometimes . . .”
“Beeper, it’s okay to be weak at times. Even if you are an attorney. I mean we all have feelings.”
“Remember how I told you about the accident?” As she spoke, she leaned into his chest and stared at the fluorescent light above. “I’ve wondered what I would be if it was not for that accident. How would my life be different? I don’t know if I would be an attorney, because my mom never pushed me. I don’t even remember her reading to me. But I know,” she whispered, “I wouldn’t be so screwed up emotionally.”
“Baby,” Evander said as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, “you’ve had some bad breaks, but I’m proud of you. I mean you deal with these people on a day-to-day basis and you hold your own. You’re not screwed up. You’re tough. Just watch what happens. In a few days I guarantee they’ll announce that you will be the next partner. And that’s proof that you’re good at what you do. You’re not screwed up at all.”
Betty smiled, not wanting to deal with that travesty at this time. “Did I ever tell you what my mom did when the car hit us?”
“No, baby,” he said, and relaxed into the couch with her body wrapped in his arms. “What happened?”
“Well,” she said, with her eyes closed to travel back to that painful place in her past, “after the car hit us and sent us spinning, I remember waking up and looking at my step-daddy, and he was trying to get the car under control. And then I remember him looking out of his window.” Betty fell silent for a moment but then gathered the courage to continue. “I remember looking out the window and seeing the truck driver’s face before it hit our car. I could see him so clearly. If I live to be a hundred, I will see that fat man’s face and his truck skidding into our car. And then POW!” she said as her body stiffened and eyes opened in fear. Vibrating like a pager, she said, “But right before it hit us, I remember my momma’s hand pushing me back in my seat. Even though she was in front, she was trying to protect me in the backseat with a seat belt on and then . . .” The words died for Betty. “This is something I have never told anyone. Not even Jac. But about three years ago I got a call here at the firm. I asked who it was and they said, Darryl Robinson. So I’m thinking, I don’t know any . . . And then the moment I pick up the phone I thought, naw, it couldn’t be. So I say hello and sure enough, it was my dad.”
“Really? After all those years.”
“Yep. My daddy called me,” Betty said with a smile. “I was so glad to hear his voice. For that split second I didn’t care that he never came back to my momma and me. I didn’t care that he was not a part of my life. I was just so happy to hear his voice. To feel like someone’s little girl again. He told me how hard it had been for him to track me down. Said he had been looking for me for over a year. Asked me how I liked living in the South and then he told me why he had called. Said he wanted to get in contact with my momma to sign divorce papers because he was getting married.”
“No one told him? After all those years? But wait a minute, I thought your momma remarried.”
“Yeah. She did, and he said he never actually filed the divorce papers, but that’s another story. My momma didn’t have much family, and when he got my number from my aunt in New York, she just left me the honor of doing it. But before I could tell him, he started telling me how my momma was no good and how she drove him away and how he had written to me and she more than likely hid the letters. After I told him she was dead, he changed his tune a little, but before he hung up, guess what he did.”
“I would hope he apologized, but I’m almost afraid to ask.”
With a smile behind an uninterrupted stream of tears she said, “The man asked me if he could borrow a few dollars for a down payment on a house.”
As he stroked her temple with the width of his thumb, Evander said with a sigh, “What an asshole. People can be so insensitive. But I’m glad you shared that with me. It’s times like these that bring things like that to the surface. Death is never easy. I lost a close friend last year.”
Betty blew her nose again into the handkerchief and said, “Baby, I’m sorry. You never told me that. Who was it?”
“Gary. A guy I knew back in the days when we were growing up in Orlando. He died last year unexpectedly, and it really messed me up. I ain’t gonna lie. One day he was the epitome of life and the next he had full-blown AIDS and was dying. I was there with a few of his friends when he left. It really changed the way I live now. I have never told you this, but one of the things I admire most about you is the fact that you don’t allow money to control your life. I once read that sometimes in life you have to sing like you don’t need the tips. Laugh as if everyone gets the joke. Dance like nobody’s watching, and,” he said as he softly rubbed his thumb over her closed eyelid, “it must always come from the heart. And that’s just one of the reasons I love you.”
As Evander spoke, Betty had never felt as close to anyone than at that moment. If there were any doubts in her mind before, they were now washed away. Evander was the one.
“But there’s something,” Evander continued, “about losing someone close to you that will change your whole outlook on life. The sky is bluer and the grass is greener. Somehow, you sorta subconsciously want to suck every ounce out of life, out of everything you do. You work harder. Play harder. It even feels as if you breathe harder. I guess that’s why I try to make love to you so passionately, Beep,” he said, and took her chin as she opened her eyes and looked away. “Betty? Look at me.” As she looked into his eyes, he continued. “Because you just never know when will be the last time you see someone you love. You know,” Evander continued, “if Gary, if Murphy, had the opportunity to do so, would they wish they had worked a couple hours longer? I doubt it. They would probably wish they had spent more time with their family, more time working in their church, more time saying to that special person . . .”
He gently brought her face closer as Betty said, “I love you,” to him for the first time.
She shook her head, unable to control the passion within any longer. “God, I love you so much, Evander,” she said again, with tears clouding her voice.
“I love you, too, baby. You’re my whole world,” Evander said softly in her ear. “You’re my everything.”
Betty had never told anyone in her life she loved them. No one. She had always prevented people, and especially men, from getting close enough so that the utterance of such words was even a possibility. Now her defenses were weakened and her walls had melted. Finally she was ready to love, and to be loved.
They kissed with passion in Betty’s office. As she turned her body around, they lay belly to belly and kissed with warmth on her couch. She ignored Carol’s knock at her door as Evander said the words repeatedly into her ear and she replied in kind, feeling freer with each utterance. These were their first kisses after consummating their I love yous. These were the last passionate kisses they would ever share.
Chapter 14
Friday
Of all the days Betty had worked in the firm, this was by far the toughest. Gardenias and dogwood blossoms sweetened the air with their essence as they prepared to kiss winter good-bye. Birds flew in arrow formation high above as they bid the state a fond farewell on their pilgrimage north. But as she sat at her desk dressed in black, Betty tried to think about Jacqui and her man problems or Evander, whom she was already missing, so she would not have to think about her mentor’s funeral. She played the radio a little louder than usual and kept her door closed, which for her was very uncommon. Betty wanted to concentrate on the work at hand like the beam of a laser, because in hours the firm would be vacated in honor of Jack Murphy.
Before she dressed that morning she debated whether to bring another suit to change into after the services, because she imagined how depressing it would be to see everyone in black all day. As she drove into the garage, she decided to drive down to the executive parking area. And there it was
. Renfro’s extended-cab pickup in the first spot. The parking space that did not seem right without the mirror-black Mercedes SL600. spot. She could not figure out why it made her fingers grip the steering wheel until her knuckles lightened, but it did. After all, it was only a parking space. Just a few square feet of blacktop which, given the type of man Murphy was, he would not have had a problem with at all. But as she drove back up to the general parking area on the roof of the garage, she passed R. Raymond Patterson headed to his new spot, and yet another tear fell. For years she could not muster a drop, but once again a warm tear glistened down her face and over her lips. While she was hurt, the tears also cleaned the spaces deep within her soul.
The obsequies for Jonathan Alexander Murphy were stately, honorable, and well attended. All of the local officials and many statewide dignitaries were in the small cathedral to pay their respects. The governor relieved the lieutenant governor of such duties on that day and sat beside Agnes and the boys during the services. All of the partners of the firm sat with their spouses behind the elected officials and Jack Murphy’s family. Instead of sitting alone, Betty elected to sit with a few members of the clerical staff who had decided to come by themselves.
From her seat in the back, Betty noticed the white marble pillars of the cathedral were encircled by fresh ivy. The coffin bearing his remains was covered with his favorite flower, white daisies. Above them was the boys’ choir. Their voices blended in a tightly woven harmony as they sang sotto voce without visible direction. And then Betty noticed Agnes Murphy. Her veiled face looked tired yet strong. Sitting in the pew, she looked like the photo of Coretta Scott King in April of sixty-eight. Betty could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted to be the rock for the rest of her family because she knew all eyes were on her. She knew what Jack would have wanted her to do. But deep inside, Betty felt she was just a step away from losing it altogether.
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