by I. T. Lucas
“Yeah, I did. And I don’t know how to fix it. We’ve been making such good progress and then I had to shoot my stupid mouth.”
Grabbing the end tail of her braid, Kri twisted it between her fingers. “It’s just that he startled me with all this talk about proposing. He just turned twenty-one for fates’ sake, and he is talking about marriage? A lifelong commitment? I felt like I needed to throw some cold water on his head to cool him down.”
“I think it’s sweet that he is so serious about you.” Syssi handed Kri a cup of cappuccino and sat across from Amanda and her.
After the By Invitation Only fiasco, Kri had called an emergency meeting with the girls, and it had been decided to hold it at Syssi’s place. Kian was working late that night, so they had their privacy without having to kick anyone out of his home. Kri still felt bad about chasing Dalhu out of his own living room the other night.
“It’s stupid, that what it is. He is just a kid. Hell, I still feel like a kid. I’m not ready to make such a serious commitment.”
Syssi lifted a brow. “Do you love him?”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean I want to marry him. Someday, maybe, but not in the near future, that’s for sure.”
The corners of Syssi’s lips lifted in the kind of smile that suggested she knew things Kri didn’t.
Well, duh, Syssi was a married woman.
True, in years she was nearly half Kri’s age, but Syssi had been a human up until recently. Prior to her lifetime horizon expanding indefinitely, she’d been forced to develop a more mature attitude. At twenty-five, a quarter of her allotted time had been used up. And that had been a best case scenario, provided that she lived into old age and didn’t die sooner of some disease.
“Maybe all he needs is to be reassured that you’re serious about him,” Amanda said.
Yeah, like she didn’t know that.
But there were several reasons she hadn’t told Michael she loved him yet. First of all, they had been together only a couple of months. Second, he was already becoming a permanent fixture in her life, and it was scaring the crap out of her. Third, even without any declarations of love, the boy was talking marriage, for fates’ sake. The last thing she wanted was to encourage him.
“That’s the thing, though, I’m not sure I’m serious about him. I think I’m too young to make decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Falling for the first available immortal male who is not related to me is such a cliché. You know what I mean?” Kri pushed to her feet and began pacing.
“Hey, I fell for the first immortal male I was not related to.” Amanda crossed her arms over her chest.
Syssi raised a finger. “Not true. You met Andrew first. In fact, before Dalhu kidnapped you, I suspected there was something going on between you and Andrew. Not that I don’t think Dalhu is perfect for you, but for a while there I entertained hope that you and Andrew might end up together.”
“Well, that's even worse, isn't it?” Amanda waved her hand at Kri. “You want to talk about cliché? I fell in love with my kidnapper.”
Kri stopped to glare at Amanda. “The fact that you fell for Dalhu proves nothing. I’m not saying that you made the wrong decision to commit to him, but at the time you hadn’t thought it through. You were acting on pure impulse like you always do.”
“Pfft, you don’t know what you’re talking about. I agonized for days, trying to convince myself that I could live without him. Dalhu was the last male on earth I wanted to be bound to for life. But when the fates decide who is the one for you, you can fight it as much as you want, but you’ll only make yourself miserable. Trust me, been there, done that.”
Ugh, fates this and fates that. Amanda was supposed to be a scientist, not someone who believed in divine intervention.
“So what are you saying? That the fates decide everything and we have no say in it? And how do you know it is really fate? And not your overactive hormones that are guiding your decision? Eh?”
“Come on, girls, this is not a constructive conversation.” Syssi shushed them both. “What Amanda is trying to say is that falling in love is not rational. It is a gut feeling and it often happens pretty fast. Subconsciously, we know it right away. I’ll never forget my reaction to Kian. From the first moment, I knew I wanted him more than I wanted anyone or anything in my life before, but I thought he was out of my league. Rationally, I tried to convince myself that a man like him could never want someone like me. I fought so hard not to fall in love with him, to regard it as sexual fling, believing I’d only get hurt if I allowed myself to feel. And he fought it too. A mortal and an immortal had no future together. But it was all futile. We fell head over heels in love with each other even though we both believed our relationship was doomed.”
On an exhale, Kri plopped back onto the couch and dropped her head on the overstuffed pillows. It seemed that a rocky start was a norm and not the exception in a relationship. Syssi and Kian were so in love with each other it was impossible not to be a little jealous of that. And so were Amanda and Dalhu. But it hadn’t been smooth sailing for either of the couples.
Kri had some soul searching to do.
Was Michael her fated one?
Was her gut telling her that he was, but she was too chicken to acknowledge it?
How would she know for sure?
“I get what you’re trying to say. Problem is, I don’t know what my gut is telling me. How do I listen to something I can’t hear?”
Amanda and Syssi exchanged looks, but it was Amanda who answered Kri’s question. “I guess that for some it’s easier than others. I ran away to get some distance between me and Dalhu, but I missed him and craved him terribly. Every day that passed was worse than the one before it. In the end, I was forced to accept the truth. My life with Dalhu was going to be difficult. There were so many obstacles on the way, some that at the time seemed insurmountable, but on the other hand, I realized that life without him was going to be hell. Perhaps I should’ve had more faith in fate—and in Dalhu. He was willing to do whatever it took to be with me, and he did. Sweet merciful fates, how he did.” Amanda shuddered.
Dalhu was a remarkable male, no doubt about it. Kri had witnessed herself what he’d gone through to be with Amanda and become part of her world.
To redeem himself in the eyes of the clan as well as Amanda’s, Dalhu had submitted to a trial that would’ve felled the vast majority of men. Standing tall, unaided and unrestrained, he’d withstood a whipping that had stripped most of the skin off his back. After that, he’d been entombed for a whole week, which meant that he’d been practically dead for seven days before being revived.
That night, witnessing his incredible sacrifice, Kri had stopped regarding Dalhu as a Doomer, or even an ex-Doomer. In her eyes, and probably in the eyes of all who’d witnessed it, he’d become the brave male who’d went through hell and back for the woman he loved. He’d been forgiven and accepted into the clan. Something no one would’ve ever dreamed possible.
Dalhu was the best example of love-conquers-all.
Would Michael go to such extremes for her?
Kri shuddered. She’d rather go through hell herself than let him suffer. After all, Michael was just a kid.
Was he, though?
Chapter 15: Michael
Michael staggered as Arwel's punch got through his defenses. Once again.
“Pay attention, kid. You’re not focused today.”
It was true, the turmoil in his head was too loud for the soft whisper of his telepathy to penetrate through it.
“I know. I’m trying,” he said.
Arwel shook his head. “Let’s take a break. You’re worse now than you were at the beginning of our training. You’re not only unfocused, but you’re angry and aggressive instead of cool and collected like you should be. You need to tell me what’s going on with you.”
Michael put his hands on his hips and dropped his head. Even with his extraordinary telepathic ability, Arwel wouldn’t understand. These immo
rtals screwed around with numerous partners and thought nothing of it. Kri’s suggestion that he should sample more females before settling down with her would seem perfectly logical to the guy.
“By the waves of anger you’re emitting, I'm guessing it’s a woman problem. Did Kri and you have a spat?”
“It wasn’t a fight. She said something that I found insulting, that’s all. I know she didn’t mean to offend me. But what she said made me realize she couldn’t be possibly serious about me.”
Arwel frowned. “She loves you, that is obvious. Why would you think she is not serious?”
“Does she?” She’d never told him. But if Arwel felt it, then perhaps she really did.
“Of course she does. Every time I see you with Kri, I get nauseated from all the mushy sentiment she radiates. You too, by the way. It’s totally disgusting. She’s also incredibly proud of you, and that’s disgusting too.” Arwel was smiling throughout his insults, perhaps because Michael’s expression was morphing from a frustrated scowl into a silly, face-splitting grin.
Kri loved him? And she was proud of him? Why?
“I don’t understand. There is nothing to be proud of. I accomplished nothing, I have nothing to offer her. I live at her apartment without sharing in the expenses, whatever they may be. And my monthly income is an allowance Kian is giving me because he is a generous guy, not because I merit it in any way.”
Arwel was nodding as if he was agreeing with everything Michael was saying. Couldn’t the guy at least pretend it wasn’t true? Be supportive?
“I understand your problem, kid, and it has nothing to do with what Kri feels or doesn’t feel for you. This is about your own self-perception, and the story you tell yourself. If you think you’re worthless, then you expect everyone to think the same. If you believe you’re a mooch, then everyone else must believe it too. But guess what?”
“What?”
“They don’t. What I, and Kri, and Kian, and everyone else sees, is a young man who works his butt off to prove himself. A man who knows what he wants and goes for it with all he has. And that includes the woman he loves. You’re very grown up for your age.”
That was certainly a good thing to hear, and even with his dim telepathic ability, Michael felt that Arwel had meant everything he’d said.
The guy wasn’t done, though. “You already have a clear vision for your future, which is astounding at your age. Compared to you, I’m ancient, and the only sure thing in my life is being a Guardian. Everything else is a disgusting mess.”
It seemed that Arwel was repulsed by a lot of things.
“Thank you for the pep talk, but if what you are saying is true, and Kri shares your opinion, then why have I never heard any of it from her? She never even told me she loved me.”
Arwel lifted a brow. “Did you tell her you loved her?”
“Well, no. She gets so defensive anytime I mention anything about commitment that I turn it into a joke so she doesn’t bolt like her tail is on fire. I’m afraid that if I tell her I love her she’ll freak out.”
Arwel stared at him for a moment then walked over to where he had left his phone on the floor next to the wall, lifted the thing and started texting.
“What are you doing?” Michael asked, even though he had a sinking feeling he knew who the message was going to.
“I’m telling your girlfriend to get her ass in here, so you can tell her how you feel about her.”
As panic gripped his heart and squeezed, Michael imagined doing the same to Arwel’s neck. “You are a fucking asshole, you know that? What I've told you wasn’t for sharing, especially not with Kri.”
Arwel lifted his hand, palm out. “Relax, kid. I just told her you need a sparring partner for this session and asked if she was free. I told her nothing about your mushy feelings. I leave that up to you.”
“Phew, you almost gave me a stroke, if I were still human that is.” Michael slapped a hand over his heart. It was beating so hard against his ribcage that he could feel it all the way through the slabs of muscle covering his chest. The thing was hammering against his palm as if it wanted to get out.
“Well, then you’re lucky that you’re no longer a mortal. It’s a mixed blessing, though. It will take so much longer for to you pass out from the beating I’ll give you for calling me a fucking asshole.” The smile on Arwel’s face was not friendly. In fact, the guy looked scary.
Was he really that pissed?
Michael closed his eyes and focused his senses.
Nah. Arwel had been messing with him. The guy wasn’t angry. He was amused… and hungry.
Michael walked over to his mentor and offered his hand. “I’m sorry. It was uncalled for. Thank you for being chill about it.”
Arwel grinned as he gripped Michael’s hand, squeezing it tight and pulling him in for a clap on the back and a brief embrace. “You’re welcome, kid. Just don’t let it happen again. Part of becoming a warrior is learning to keep your cool or at least faking it really well.”
“I will.”
“Tell Kri hi from me when she gets here.”
“What, you’re not going to stay?”
Arwel rubbed his stomach. “Nope. I’m going to grab something to eat. You can handle this.” Lifting his gym bag, Arwel paused before heading out the door. “Courage, kid. At least one of you needs to be brave enough to say what needs saying.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Chapter 16: Kri
Interesting. Kri frowned as she read the text message. It had arrived a few minutes ago, but she didn’t see it until after her workout was done and she’d picked up her things to go home.
Michael needed a sparring partner?
Why her, though?
The last thing she wanted was to make things worse between them by beating the shit out of her boyfriend.
She couldn’t lose even if she wanted to, and she didn’t want to.
It would be the same as lying.
She was not going to hold back just because Michael had a fragile ego. The best thing was to refuse. Let Arwel rope in another Guardian to do the honors. Michael wouldn’t feel as bad getting beat up by one of the guys.
Her fingers flew over the phone’s keyboard. Not a good idea. Find someone else. She sent the text, grabbed her towel, and waved goodbye to Bhathian.
A second later, her phone pinged. Get your butt in here. He needs your help to practice evasive moves.
Damn.
Perhaps Arwel was meaning to use her just to demonstrate. If he asked her to spar with Michael, she could always refuse. Arwel wasn’t her commander, and they were not on a mission where she had to cooperate. Unless Onegus issued an order, Kri was under no obligation to do as her fellow Guardian asked.
Despite his seniority, their status in the force was equal.
With a curse, she turned away from the bank of elevators and headed down the hallway to the classroom Arwel’s text had directed her to.
When she entered, Kri found Michael alone in the room. “Where is Arwel?”
“Not here.” Michael looked uncomfortable.
“I can see that. I thought he wanted to demonstrate evasive moves on me.” Heck, maybe Michael would jump on the opportunity to cop out. “Is he coming back?”
“He said he was going to get something to eat, but he didn't say anything about returning.” Michael rubbed a hand over his neck. “I’ve been practicing using telepathy to anticipate my opponent’s moves. I can try and show you what I’ve learned. Problem is, I can’t read you. You’re either blocking me, or I’m blocking myself. So it might not work.”
Eh, what the hell. She could go a round or two with him.
No more, though.
“Let’s give it a try. Nothing fancy, just some basic moves to see if you can sense me coming at you. Okay?”
“That’s the idea.”
“I’m not going to hold back.”
He looked puzzled. “Why the hell would you? I won’t break. As Arwel has proven time and ag
ain, I can take a lot of abuse. I swear, the guy enjoys hurting me.”
Hmm. Michael seemed to take his defeat for granted, and it didn't look as if the prospect troubled him. On the contrary, he didn’t like the idea of her going easy on him because she didn’t want to hurt him.
Had she been wrong?
Perhaps it wasn’t about her being a girl who was a better fighter than him.
But if that wasn’t it, then what was his problem?
Kri dropped her towel on the floor and put her phone on top of it.
Returning to the mat, she assumed the opening stance. “Are you ready?”
Michael mirrored her pose; knees slightly bent, his balance centered on his core muscles. Kri feigned to the right then punched with her left. Her fist connected with his middle and Michael was thrown back a couple of feet.
“God, you’re strong,” he wheezed. “And fast. I knew you were going to do that, but I didn’t dodge in time.”
“That’s why we train so long and so hard. If you have to think you’re already too late. Your response has to be automatic, a reflex, and that only comes with endless repetition.”
“I get it. Let’s try again.”
“Are you sure? You’re not ready for full contact yet. You should practice with a protective suit.”
“Nah, I’d rather hurt all over than wear that stinky, sweaty thing. Besides, I heal so fast that it’s really not a problem.”
If she went at him full force, this was going to be brutal, and unnecessary. Except, any less than her best would offend him.
Two more moves and that was it.
“Ready?”
He gave her a nod.
Lunging at Michael as if intending to tackle him, Kri changed trajectory at the last moment and delivered a roundhouse kick. This time he was faster, and her foot only connected with the tip of his ear. Which could have hurt like a son-of-a-bitch if she were wearing boots. But a brush of her toes wasn’t so bad.
“This was good, Michael. Did you anticipate my move?”
Holding his palm over his ear, Michael grinned. “Yeah, I did. Instead of trying to guess it, I let instinct guide me. And it worked! I’m amazed.”