by Nalini Singh
TARIQ PICKED UP THE BRUSH and squeezed out paint the color of rich cream. Add a tinge of palest rose and he would have the living hue of his Jasmine’s skin. A single stroke and one graceful arm came to life. She was almost complete, this creation of paint and emotion. Painstakingly, he began to fill in the details that made Mina unique. Pure sky-blue for those big, always innocent eyes. Even after he’d taught her the ways of pleasure, a part of Mina had remained forever the innocent.
A memory of those eyes bruised with hurt when he’d done something she couldn’t forgive taunted him as he painted her portrait. It didn’t matter if she never forgave him. He couldn’t let her go. He needed her more than she would ever need him. She made his life a gift rather than a burden. She was a piece of his soul, and if he had to, he’d search forever for her.
He told himself that she was no weak woman who would suffer in silence when he dragged her back. His Mina had spirit. She would fight him, and as long as there were words, he would fight for her.
There was a movement near the doorway. “Yes?” His concentration was immediately and utterly focused on Hiraz.
“We tracked down some passengers who saw her on board after the ship left the Middle East. They do not recall seeing her after Greece.” Hiraz paused and suddenly said, “I cannot believe she has done this to you again. Let her go.”
“Hold your words!” Tariq snapped. “Because you are my friend, I will forgive you that indiscretion, but you will never again speak against Mina. I am the one to blame.” It would have been easy to blame Sarah, but Tariq knew it was his own fierce protection of his heart against further pain that had caused this. Sarah had merely been the catalyst.
His advisor’s skepticism was obvious. “You? You treated her like a princess.”
“I told her I was going to take another wife.”
Hiraz froze. Sadness settled over his features, so deep it turned his brown eyes black. “I do not think even my Mumtaz would forgive me such a hurt.”
“It does not matter. Jasmine is mine and I will never let her go.” Tariq touched his hand to the letter that he constantly kept with him. “Prepare the aircraft. We will fly to Greece. You have a list of the stops the cruise ship made?”
Hiraz nodded. “There were only two.” A brief flicker of hope glittered in his brown eyes.
Tariq didn’t feel hope. He felt certainty.
JASMINE IGNORED THE impatient knocking for as long as she could. When it didn’t stop, she put down some mending and made her way across the small garret, prepared to face off with her landlord. She’d paid up. He had no cause to hound her.
“You!” Her knees buckled when she saw the man filling the doorway. His arms reached out to catch her as she fell. Behind him, the door slammed shut. The garret seemed suddenly minuscule, the light slanting in under the eaves not bright enough to soften the intense darkness of emotion. “Let me go.”
“You’ll fall.”
“I’m fine now.” She pushed at Tariq’s shoulders. To her surprise, he released her without complaint, holding her only long enough to gauge that she could stand on her own.
Stumbling backward, she wrapped her hands around her waist and stared. “You’ve lost weight.” His face was shadowed with the beginnings of a beard, and his eyes looked dark and haunted, but it was the way his clothes hung on him that worried her. “What’s happened?”
“You left me.”
Jasmine hadn’t expected that response. She shook her head and backed up until she hit the wall. “How did you find me?”
He didn’t release her from his bleak gaze. “I went to New Zealand first.”
Her heart thudded at that.
“You didn’t tell me that you’d completely turned your back on your family to come to me.”
Jasmine didn’t answer, torn up at the thought that he’d cared enough to search for her. Perhaps, a traitorous part of her wondered, half of him was better than nothing? Immediately, she discarded that dangerous idea. No. No. No!
“You chose me, Mina.” His voice was rough with the understanding of what she’d done. “You chose me above all others, above everyone else in the world. Did you think I would let you walk away once you’d become mine?”
“I won’t come back.” Seeing him with another woman would rip her to shreds.
“Mina.” He reached out his hand.
“No!”
He didn’t heed her, moving to trap her against the wall. The white silk of his shirt was soft under her fingertips when she tried to push him away. At the same time, she hunched her body against the exposed beams of the wall, afraid that her craving for his touch would override her vows to resist him.
“I won’t share you.” It took an effort to sound strong.
“Because you love me and you chose me.”
She nodded, and lost the battle to stop the flow of tears. This close, she just wanted to hold him and forget her anguish in his arms. And the force of his words almost made her think that he believed in her love.
“Mina, you must come back with me. I cannot live without you, my Jasmine. I need you like the desert needs rain.” Framing her face with his hands, Tariq used his thumbs to gently rub away her tears.
The pain in his green eyes echoed her own. She tried to shake her head but he held her in place. “I chose you, Jasmine. You are my wife. It is not a bond that can be broken.” The fervor of his words made her body thrum in recognition. “I love you. I adore you.”
“But you’ve taken…” She couldn’t complete her sentence.
“I would never do such a thing,” he murmured. “I was very angry with you that day, but I was also hurting. I believed that you had trampled on my heart again. It was the only weapon I possessed and I used it. Then, I did not believe that you cared enough to be heartbroken. I am so sorry, Mina.”
“You weren’t planning to take another wife?” She managed to get the question past the obstruction in her throat.
“Never. You are the only one. Always you’ll be the only one. In my heart and in my soul, I have known from the moment we met that you would be the only one. That is why I felt so betrayed. I would never marry another.”
“Never?” she whispered, beginning to understand, to believe. Her husband had turned on her like a wounded animal that day, shattered by her apparent betrayal after they’d seemed to be reaching peace. The broken pieces inside her began to heal under the heat of the truth in his eyes. Unconsciously, her hands drifted to rest at his waist.
“I waited four years for you to grow up. I stayed faithful to the love between us. Do you think I could ever take another woman to my bed, much less into my heart?” His eyes glittered with the power of what he was confessing.
Stunned, she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t known of the depths of her panther’s devotion. Her heart seemed to be crying and laughing at the same time, but all she could do was drown in the promise she saw in his eyes.
“Forgive your foolish husband, Mina. Around you, he does not always think with calm.” His expression was penitent, but the way he had her trapped against the wall told her that he intended to persuade her, no matter how long it took.
Her husband might be apologizing, but he didn’t know the meaning of being humble. Jasmine smiled slowly. She wouldn’t have him any other way. “Only if he’ll forgive me for making the wrong choice four years ago.”
“I forgave you the instant you stepped foot on my land, Mina.” He smiled his predator’s smile. “I just needed time to salvage my pride.”
“And is it salvaged? Will you doubt me again?”
“All I needed to know was that you’d choose to fight for me if you ever had to make the decision again.”
So simple, and yet she hadn’t been able to figure it out. She touched his hair with tentative fingers. “There is no question of choice. You come first.”
“I know that now, Mina.” He leaned into her gentle caress.
There was something more she had to know. “Do you think…loving me is a weakness?
”
There was no pause. “Loving you is my greatest strength. The assassins sought to blind me to that truth. With heart, I can reach those who would otherwise be lost. I have never stopped loving you.” His hands moved down her body to clasp her buttocks and press her close. “Will you return with me?”
Jasmine laughed at the way he was trying to act as if he was giving her a choice, when they both knew he wasn’t leaving the room unless she was with him. “Do you promise to be a good, amenable husband from now on and follow my every command?”
He scowled. “You’re taking advantage of me.”
“It’s not working, is it?”
“I don’t know.” He glanced speculatively at the tiny bed in the corner. “If that cot holds up under our weight, I’ll permit you to take advantage of me.” The sparkle in his eyes belied his solemn tone, but before Jasmine could accept the offer, she had to know.
“I love you. Do you believe that?”
Tariq’s face was fierce with joy. “Mina!” He crushed her to him. “Your love for me is in your eyes, in your touch, in your every word. Even your farewell letter, which you wrote when you were feeling abandoned and so hurt, rings with the richness and truth of your love. I do not feel worthy of it, but I will not give you up. You are mine.”
Jasmine swallowed and laid one fear to rest. There was no room for doubt in the passion of her husband’s voice. “Do you believe I betrayed you?” She leaned back so she could look into his eyes.
He laid his forehead against hers as his big body curved over hers in a familiar protective stance. Vibrant male heat seeped into her bones, a deep caress that made her want to melt, but there were questions yet to be answered.
“Once I was no longer blinded by pain and anger, I realized the truth. I did not need Jamar’s explanation. My heart knew you would never do such a thing to me.” Tenderly, he cupped her cheek in one hand. “I am afraid I am possessive beyond reason where you are concerned, and the closeness of your homeland had me on edge. My fear of losing you turned me a little mad. I was returning to beg your forgiveness when I was told that you had disappeared.”
“I didn’t want to go,” she confessed.
“You will promise to never leave me again. Promise,” he growled, no longer gentle and compassionate, the panther tying his mate to him. “Fight, get angry, but do not leave!”
“I promise, but you must talk to me. Promise me that.”
He smiled. “I promise you, my Jasmine, that I will talk to you. I cannot change who I am. I am possessive and you will have to become adept at dealing with such a husband.”
“As long as you let me deal with you. Don’t push me away. Don’t go cold and silent on me. When you do that, it’s like a part of me is missing.”
He pulled her to him again, the hand on her nape holding her against his chest. “Forgive me, Mina, because I cannot forgive myself for the hurt I have caused you.”
“I think I could forgive you anything.” Her vulnerability to him no longer terrified her, not when he loved her with all of the passion in his warrior’s heart. “My only regret through everything is that we wasted four years.”
He chuckled. “Not wasted, Mina. I thought I would give you five years to grow up. I was being very patient, was I not?”
She smiled and touched his cheek in a familiar caress. He turned his face into her hand, his stubble rough but enticing against her skin. “You were. And after five years?”
“You would have decided to take a trip to the desert.”
“I would have?”
“Umm.” He leaned down and kissed her, as if he couldn’t resist. She softened, she melted, she became his. When he drew away, the masculine scent of him swirled around her, enclosing her in an embrace more intimate than the physical one. “And once there, you would have married a man who has always known that you were meant to be his.”
“So I could’ve waited another year and saved myself the trouble?” she dared to tease.
“Perhaps I would not have lasted five years. My patience was wearing thin.” His next words were uncompromising. “You were born to be mine, Mina.”
The strength of his vow made her want to weep. Tariq loved her, flaws and all. The hole inside her heart closed forever. She leaned up and kissed him, a soft, loving kiss that held everything she felt.
“Does this mean I am truly forgiven?” he asked.
“Just give me your promise to talk to me if you ever feel angry or hurt, and we’ll wipe the slate clean.”
“I do not intend to let you out of my sight, so that is a moot point.” He laughed when she pushed at his chest and raised her scowling face to his.
“You still don’t trust me?”
“I trust you with my heart and soul,” he told her, his green eyes bright. “I also need you so fiercely that it would please me should you wish to spend your hours by my side.” He touched his fingers to her throat in a light caress. “You asked me a question once. The answer is yes, as you are Jasmine al eha Sheik, I am Tariq al eha Jasmine. I belong to you.”
The raw honesty of his words humbled her and yet made her heart burst. Tariq was proud and strong, as enduring in his vows as Zulheil Rose was in its beauty. For him to surrender to her in this way meant more than could ever be put into words. Her panther had placed his happiness into her keeping, and she intended to protect that trust with every breath in her body.
“Do your people hate me?” She bit her lip.
“Our people are used to the tempestuous women of sheiks.” He grinned. “In the first years of my parents’ marriage, my mother once camped in Paris for two months.”
“Oh.” Though the news about their people made her happy, Jasmine was even more pleased to hear the affection in Tariq’s voice. It appeared that his frustrated anger toward his mother was passing with time.
“It is I who would be considered a poor sheik if I could not persuade you to return.” He leaned close. “My honor is in your hands.” There was a teasing light in his eyes.
“Come, husband who belongs to me.” She tugged his hand. “Your wife wishes to take advantage of you.”
“I would never deny my wife, Mina,” he breathed into her mouth.
The cot did indeed hold their weight.
EPILOGUE
THERE WAS A ROAR FROM THE crowd below when Jasmine stepped out onto the balcony, her six-month-old baby son cradled in her arms. Behind her, Tariq put a protective arm around her waist and leaned down until his lips touched her temple. “You are loved, my Jasmine.” His smile was tender.
Jasmine stretched up and touched her lips to his. “I know,” she whispered. The roar of the crowd was drowned out by the passionate thunder racing through her veins. “As are you, Tariq al eha Jasmine. From the heart and soul.”
This incredible man was hers, she thought, without limits or restrictions. Or worry. His birthday present to her had been the repeal of the old law that had made her believe his angry threat to take another wife.
“Our son will be a warrior.” Tariq touched one waving fist. “He was conceived in passion.”
“Tariq, hush.” Her cheeks bloomed at the memory of their reunion on that tiny Greek island. Out of their love and hunger, they’d created a tiny, beautiful human being.
“Our people cannot hear us.” He smiled.
That smile made her heart beat faster and her mouth go dry. Every day that they spent together, she fell more in love with her husband. In front of her eyes, he was growing into a powerful, compassionate leader, adored by his people and respected by both his allies and his foes. But what turned her heart over was the way he loved her. The way he saw greatness in her, too.
“I could not have chosen a better woman to lead by my side. You are magnificent.” His hand stroked the fiery fall of her hair, unconsciously echoing her thoughts.
Jasmine thought back over the past year and a half. “I feel like I’ve grown more since I married you than I did in all the years before.” Tariq’s faith in her had mad
e her dig deep to find the skills he needed in a wife. She’d become adept at behind-the-scenes negotiations, and even better at listening to what people didn’t say.
He touched her cheek and the caress turned the crowd wild. “You have also taught me much. Your gentle ways are turning foes into allies. That’s why I married you, of course.”
His teasing of her hadn’t changed. “I told you, by the time I’m fifty, women will be at those conferences.”
“I have faith that you will accomplish the impossible.” Tariq’s confidence in his wife ran deep and true. Mina could do whatever she put her mind to. Look how well her designing was going. His lovely little wife was becoming famous, not only for her diplomacy but for her artistry.
“You are not working too much?” He looked down at her luminous beauty and could understand why their people openly thanked the stars for her. Just as her husband did.
“How could I?” She turned an exasperated face up at him. “If it’s not you, it’s Mumtaz or Hiraz telling me to rest. Honestly, I could shoot that man at times.”
“My advisors know how important you are to their sheik’s happiness.” Tariq’s tone was light, but his need for her very real. Without her, he would not be the man he was today. She had taught him about love so strong it humbled him. He could never articulate all that she meant to him, but he could say, “Thank you.” It was a rough whisper.
He looked down at that tiny being cradled in his wife’s arms and thanked him, too—for teaching him about a parent’s love. The minute Jasmine had laid Zaqir in his arms, he’d forgiven his mother for her choice.
“You’re welcome.” Jasmine’s throat closed with withheld tears. She understood what her desert warrior couldn’t say. Tariq no longer hid either his very real love or his need for her. He’d filled the emptiness in her with so much love that sometimes she hurt with the beauty of it.
Moving closer to him until he was supporting their son with an arm under hers, she raised her free hand to the gathered masses. These desert people were her family, her home. Zaqir was a beloved son, the embodiment of the love between her and Tariq. Her husband was her hope and joy.