He could do without the disapproval in Johnnie’s eyes. He, more than anybody, should understand the situation. Anyway, the separation would do him and Megan good. Since he’d started fucking her, they’d been glued to each other’s sides. Really, since she’d arrived. Here and there, he’d put himself out of her reach, but he’d never been very far.
“Ma’ll give you a real good Christmas, Megan.” He waited for her to ask him to stay, tell him she wanted him to be a part of the celebrations, that she wanted him.
She lowered her lashes. “What about the Christmas tree?”
The Christmas tree he’d promised to help pick out. Jesus. He hadn’t even been able to drive Megan here in his pickup to use that death wagon to store a Christmas tree. He’d thought about the hidden compartments that had transported drugs, guns—bodies. How could he use it to store a Christmas tree? Bad enough he’d taken Megan shopping in it.
“Johnnie’ll take you to get one.”
Johnnie narrowed his eyes and thinned his lips, but remained silent.
Christopher kissed her forehead. “So, yeah, see you soon. Gimme a chance to grab my things, Megan.” Before she had a chance to protest, he turned on his heel and hurried toward the staircase.
MEGGIE LISTENED TO THE RUMBLE of Christopher’s bike in stunned silence. She recalled him saying he’d leave her there after a day or so. But, beside that night, he hadn’t mentioned it again and, after the way Meggie and Patricia had started off, she didn’t think he’d just leave her. And, in the middle of the night, no less.
She jumped as arms encircled her and she stiffened, recognizing Johnnie’s cologne. He urged her head to his chest. Tired, Meggie relaxed against him and let out a gut-wrenching sob. She sobbed because of her mixture of emotions toward Christopher. She sobbed because she felt so alone and abandoned with no one in the world.
“Shh, Megs. It’ll be fine. I promise,” he whispered, twisting strands of her hair around his finger.
She didn’t want to stay here without Christopher. But he’d never intended to keep her and he’d never pretended he would. She’d built something up in her head that wasn’t there. She’d fallen in love with him. Not the other way around. Now, he was gone and, without him, she was completely alone.
Included in all their plans was a visit to the boardwalk and going to see one, if not both, of the lighthouses.
What could’ve happened between those plans and Christopher’s decision to just leave?
“I WANT TO HEAR YOUR CHRISTMAS carols.”
At the sound of Johnnie’s voice, Meggie looked up from her game of Angry Birds. Exhaustion clung to her. She hadn’t slept in the seventeen hours since Christopher stormed out. She’d left Johnnie and returned to the room she’d looked forward to sharing with Christopher, doing nothing but staring out the window where the darkness swallowed any view, going over scenario after scenario about what sent him running from her in the middle of the night. She’d called him five times already but he never answered. She’d called the clubhouse twice and both times she’d been told he wasn’t available. Her heart seemed to break into a thousand pieces, the pain of his sudden departure cutting her deep. The only way she’d feel better was to talk to him.
“Megs?”
Heat rose to her cheeks at Johnnie’s husky tone. She didn’t know why she blushed when she looked at him, what fueled her need to stare at him. Her actions were conspicuous because Christopher had taken note. But that couldn’t be the reason he left. Could it? He was protective of her, but not jealous.
Blond hair falling carelessly over his forehead, Johnnie strolled forward and sat next to her. She was sitting in the room that served as both a media room and a game room. Meggie decided to call it the playroom because it had a pool table, pinball machine, the biggest television she’d ever seen and a stereo system she loved. It also had a bar and a sectional in front of the TV, which was where she sat.
Her fingers shook under Johnnie’s scrutiny. Though she pretended to ignore him, she was quite aware of his hard, honed body next to hers.
“I can sit here all night until you decide to acknowledge me.”
Insufferable jerk.
She really wanted to start dinner, but dared not since Patricia had made it so clear the kitchen was off-limits. She hadn’t seen her at all today, which, really, was fine with her.
“We can go tree hunting,” Johnnie offered.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him lean back, hands behind his head, legs spread, making her all the more determined to ignore him. Besides, she didn’t want to go Christmas tree shopping with him. She and Christopher had planned on doing that, then pulling out whatever decorations Patricia had stored away.
“You want to go for a walk on the dunes, Megs?”
She concentrated harder on the game, the oinking of the victorious pigs more annoying with Johnnie there.
“Megs–”
“Stop calling me Megs,” she hissed.
He leaned closer to her, his mouth near her ear. “No,” he whispered, his breath fanning her skin, the smell of alcohol sending her heart plummeting.
Edging out of his grasp, she drew in a sharp breath, suddenly aware of how very alone they were. She didn’t really know Johnnie, other than the fact that he was Christopher’s cousin. She sat her iPad on the small table next to the sectional, her hands shaking, every confidence she’d gained away from Thomas and his intimidation caving. She rose to her feet. Johnnie didn’t lunge, an encouragement and a relief.
Silver-gray eyes narrowed. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said harshly, coming to his feet.
She backed away and he stilled, staring at her in shock. Embarrassed at her fear and paranoia, she lowered her lashes and studied her bare feet, her breath escaping in frantic pants.
“You’re afraid of me.”
She flinched at the disbelief in his tone. “Don’t take it personal.”
“I take it quite fucking personal.”
Not responding, she waited for an insult, a snide remark, a painful grip.
Instead, he put more distance between them and cursed when she visibly relaxed.
“If we ever fuck, it’s because you want me. My cock could be sliding into you and, if you change your mind and tell me you don’t want to fuck me, I’d stop.”
“Would you shut up?” she demanded, her body and her head at odds with one another.
Johnnie laughed, some of the tension easing from his broad shoulders. “Are my words making you hot? You’re getting wet for me?”
Her cheeks flamed. “No.”
“Liar.” Cautiously, he stepped closer to her again. “You want some cock, don’t you, sweetheart?”
“I want Christopher.”
“Fair enough.” He shrugged. “But he’s not here. I don’t have to put my cock in you. There’s always another way.”
Meggie tightened her jaw, refusing to allow his low tone to lure her.
“I can taste you, Megs,” he whispered. “Lick your clit. Make you come on my tongue.”
This wasn’t Christopher. Her belly shouldn’t be clenching and her panties shouldn’t be soaked. But, along with both of those things, her breath hitched and her heart pounded.
“C’mon, Megan. Nothing more but me eating your pussy. No harm done and you’d feel good. Not look so lost.”
“Go away.”
“You’re too young to attach yourself to one man. The fact that you want in my bed proves that.”
“You’re so conceited,” she snapped.
“That so?” Johnnie asked, grabbing her hand and guiding her back to the sofa. “Want to test that theory?”
Meggie huffed. “I’m sorry I’ve given you the wrong impression. You seem like a very nice man. Sexy and so very handsome.”
He smirked at her.
“But the way you make me feel and the way Christopher makes me feel is completely different.” She licked her lips and met his gaze. “If I slept with you, it would be wrong because neither o
f us has any real emotion for the other.” She ventured closer to him. “Please, stop flirting with me. Stop staring at me like…like…”
“I’m undressing you with my eyes?”
She nodded, a jerky movement.
“Even if I am? Even if I’m imagining how you taste? How you feel?”
Her nipples hardened and heat shot through her body. “Stop.”
He caressed her cheek, her ear, brushing her hair over her shoulder and resting his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. He slanted his mouth over hers, his hand holding her head in place, as he pillaged her depths, his tongue touching hers, tickling the roof of her mouth. He tasted like scotch and man and sin. She scraped her fingers through his hair and he groaned, guiding her back and stretching out over her, grinding his erection into her belly. His skin burned against her, spurring her frantic kisses.
The realization doused her desire like a bucket of cold water. She squirmed beneath him and tore her mouth from his. He was breathing as hard as she, his mouth moist, his eyes a well of dark need. They stared at one another.
“Get up,” she said softly.
He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, his erection throbbing between them.
“This is wrong. On so many levels. Christopher’s your cousin. He’s my…” Nothing. He wasn’t her anything. He hadn’t even believed her when she said she loved him.
Sighing, Johnnie dragged his body from hers. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but we’ve shared girls in the past.” He shrugged. “He left you here with me. He’s not stupid. He knows we’re attracted to each other–”
“Shut up,” Meggie cried. She sat up and hugged herself, ashamed of her body, even more so than when she made those marks on herself, and needed to feel the sting and release of pressure. “I-I can’t stop you from coming here but I-I don’t want to s-see you anymore.”
He squeezed the bridge of his nose and reached for her, but she pushed his hands away. “Megs…Megan,” he amended when she glared at him. “I’m sorry. I want to be your friend.”
“No, you want to have sex with me,” she said flatly.
“What I want right now doesn’t matter. What you need is more important.”
“I need to talk to Christopher and hear his voice. That’s what I need. Can you give me that?”
“No. Only Christopher can,” he responded, his expression grave.
She asked the question eating at her, hoping he had the answer since it seemed as if Christopher didn’t intend to talk to her again. “Why did he leave?”
“He’s going through a lot. He needed space to think.”
“He needed to get away from me,” she guessed, whispering.
He shrugged, allowing her to reach her own conclusions without a denial or a confirmation.
“I’m going to leave for tonight. But let me come back–”
“I can’t stop you–”
He placed a finger over her lips to silence her. “If you’re going to be uncomfortable around me, I won’t visit. If you don’t want to see me, then I’ll stay away.”
“Okay.”
He stood, his hard penis imprinted against his jeans, eye level with Meggie because she still sat. “Okay, what? Stay away?”
She shook her head.
“Then get some rest and I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he walked out, leaving Meggie alone.
Not ten minutes had gone by before Patricia found her still sitting where Johnnie had left her. Now that Christopher was gone, she could only imagine how Patricia would treat her. Wanting to ignore her, exhausted to her soul, she reached for her iPad again and unlocked it. Maybe, she’d look into online GED courses. She really did want to get her diploma but some things couldn’t be helped. A GED was better than nothing, and she’d still be able to get into college eventually.
“Are you hungry, Megan?”
Patricia’s gentle voice froze Meggie but she shook her head, unable to get any words past her throat, her emotions all jumbled up.
“Have you eaten anything today?”
“No.”
A sigh greeted the monosyllable and she walked into Meggie’s line of vision. Self-conscious all of a sudden, Meggie bowed her head. Johnnie had thoroughly kissed her and she hadn’t quite recovered from it.
“He’ll come back. Christopher. He’ll come back.”
The woman hadn’t asked about Christopher, so she’d walked in with the knowledge he’d left Meggie there. Maybe, Johnnie had called her or, maybe, she’d heard Christopher speed away early this morning on his Harley.
Not that it mattered. Meggie shrugged and Patricia seemed like she wanted to speak, then thought better of it. She began to back away but paused and sat on the other end of the sectional.
“I’ve gone about everything all wrong. We had words, me and Christopher, and he left.”
Meggie bristled. “What did you tell him? The way he was treated, singled out, has shaped the man he’s become. He came here to enjoy his holidays and you hurt him.” Although Meggie knew that didn’t mean anything regarding her, she hated the thought he’d left because of wounds his mother opened. He tried so hard to ignore his hurt, but it was there, festering inside of him like a slow working poison.
“He’ll be back,” Patricia repeated quietly. “He has you here.”
“I’m sure he won’t come back until I’m not here,” Meggie retorted, her belly hurting at the mere thought. Yes, she needed him but she wanted him, too. She loved the way his eyes lit up on the rare occasions he laughed. He stood head and shoulders above all the others and drew attention wherever he went. Beneath the big, bad biker, he was human and vulnerable, so many things wrapped in one package, some bad, some good, but all him. “As soon as I can find somewhere to go, I’ll be out of here.”
“He needs you. I shouldn’t have said anything to either of you. It’s just when Rack called–”
“Rack? Rack calls here?”
“Yes. Every now and then. He…lets me know–”
“It doesn’t matter what he lets you know,” Meggie interrupted, everything else forgotten. “Rack beat the crap out of me and–” She stopped to draw in a deep breath and calm her racing nerves. Despite the shock on Patricia’s face, she explained everything, including about the day of Christopher’s shooting and her confrontation with Rack. “So you really shouldn’t talk to that idiot. Christopher will be furious.”
Patricia covered her face with her hands and shook her head, seeming dazed by all that Meggie had explained to her.
“Don’t tell my son. Please?” she whispered. “I knew none of this.”
“Of course not. Because Rack is a mean rhinoceros and wouldn’t tell you the entire story. What did he say for you to have words with your own son?”
“It’s complicated. More than you’ll ever know. Most of it I know nothing of. Club business.”
“Well, what do you know? What was so bad you confronted Christopher?”
Patricia gazed off into the distance and Meggie thought she wouldn’t answer, then she said in a voice so low, Meggie strained to hear. “I loved my girls’ father. He was killed. Left me with a houseful of young children. I never thought I’d love anyone again. Then…then I met someone. A man amongst men. That’s what everyone always said about him and, once I got to know him, I couldn’t have agreed more. He was a man amongst men.” She shook her head as if forcing herself out of a trance. “Then he…he left…and my h-heart has been broken ever since. Rack was friends with this man–”
“If Rack knew him, then Christopher must have, too. If you need to talk about your grief, talk to Christopher. Talk to the moon. Talk to Jesus. Just do not, DO NOT, talk to Rack.”
Laughter bubbled from Patricia and Meggie chuckled, too. “Talk to Jesus, Megan?” she said with raised eyebrows.
“You get the point, Patricia,” Megan retorted, still smiling.
“I do. But Christopher doesn’t know…about me…and this man. Only Rack.” She stare
d at her hands, spread her fingers. “I’m hurting, deep in my heart. I’m hurting. I just want to hear this man’s voice one last time. Tell him how much I love him.”
Meggie popped to her feet and ran to where Patricia sat, looking so lost and alone. Her heart broke for her. She wrapped her arms around Patricia, cradling her against her breast and rubbing her hair, blocking out images of her and Dinah in a similar pose. After a minute, Patricia returned Meggie’s hug, and they remained that way for long moments before Patricia pulled back and Meggie did, too.
“Promise me, you won’t ever tell Christopher about this. It’ll hurt him for a lot of reasons.”
Megan nodded. “Would you promise me you won’t talk to Rack? He’s bad news.”
Patricia smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, child. That I can’t do. He’s the only link I have to the man I lost.” She drew herself up. “Rack’s loyal to a fault, to the Club especially. As his president, he’ll be loyal to Christopher. I’d stake my life on it.”
FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, Johnnie was Meggie’s constant companion. Other than that one, heated kiss, he was a perfect gentleman to her. They picked out a Christmas tree and decorated it with Patricia’s help. He took her to the lighthouses, drove her around to different shops and stores. When she protested because Christopher had already taken her shopping, he insisted, pointing out the need for stocking stuffers and gifts beneath the tree here since she’d only brought along the gifts she’d purchased for Christopher and Patricia.
She tried to put her heart into it, but she missed Christopher more with each passing day. It hurt that he hadn’t called her once. After the first week, she stopped calling him, too, because it was clear he wouldn’t return her calls. He’d dropped her off and forgotten about her as if he couldn’t get rid of her fast enough. She and Patricia reached a turning point, although sometimes she’d catch the woman staring at her and Meggie would glimpse undecipherable emotions. Then, her face would clear, and all would be well again.
Ten days before Christmas, Johnnie convinced her to go to the movies and dinner with him. Now, she sat across from him in a quiet corner in the restaurant. Festive décor gave the place an enchanted feel, the individual lamps and cordoned off spot lending a sense of romance.
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 23