“I will bring her here. But I need your opinion first, sweetheart.” That was also true.
Little Man wiggled and clutched his hair.
The sound of a waterfall reached his ears, already calming him. It was beautiful here, with unsurpassed scenery. His hidden cave backed up to a small waterfall and fast moving stream and the evergreens sharpened the dull day with color.
“Oh my God,” Megan gasped. “This is gorgeous!”
“Come on.” Two minutes later, he was guiding her into the entrance of the cave.
“Johnnie?” she whispered, unsure. She closed the distance between them, her fingers gripping his arm.
He stopped. “What’s the matter? Afraid of the dark?”
“Y-yes.”
CJ whined.
“Shhh,” he soothed. “Grab onto my shirt, Megs. There’s an inner cavern where I have matches and lanterns and blankets.” She didn’t hesitate, just gripped each side of his shirt and clung to him all the way to their destination and didn’t let go until he’d had the lanterns lit. Ancient drawings decorated the stone wall but neither sound no air reached the place. She reached for her son and rubbed his little back. CJ sniffled and laid his head on her shoulder.
“Shoot! I didn’t bring a bottle for him.” She glanced around, her hair moving with her, the light playing off her features. Exhaustion was setting in and Johnnie rubbed his neck, unable to keep his gaze from her baby bump. “It’s all right, love,” she cooed, kissing her son’s forehead. “Mommie is sooo sorry. I promised I washed my hands before we left.”
Before Johnnie questioned what she meant, she stuck her pinky in the little boy’s mouth, who began to suck in contentment. He stared, fascinated, and CJ looked up at Megs with such an adoring regard, his chest hurt. Megan rubbed her nose against CJ’s, said over and over again how much she loved him, before she began to sway from side to side in tune with a lullaby she hummed.
She looked around again and he realized she’d been standing up for the past few minutes while he gawked at her.
“Let me get a blanket for you to sit on,” he whispered, knowing not to raise his voice too much or else CJ would awaken. When he had two blankets arranged across from one another, he took care and transferred the toddler from Megs’s arms into his own. She plopped down and drew in a deep sigh. Although she reached for her son, Johnnie ignored her and went to his blanket, stretching the little boy out in his lap.
Yawning, she folded her legs up and laid her head on her knees. “So why’d you bring me here?”
He wanted to pretend Megs’s sweet voice didn’t affect him. But, Jesus, it did. Which was so fucked because he truly cared for Kendall.
He shifted and sighed, watching the rise and fall of the chest of Christopher’s little prototype.
“What’s going on?” she asked again. “Why’d you bring me here?”
“I’m sorry,” he said again with all the sincerity he’d been unable to utter with their audience. “The things I said to you, I never meant to hurt you.”
She glanced away and studied a wall before shrugging. “It’s okay. You said what you did in the heat of the moment after you killed your pig of a grandfather in my kitchen.”
“You know about that?”
“Yes, Johnnie,” she said with a sigh. “Christopher told me.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“What am I supposed to do? He’s already dead.”
He inched closer to her, wishing she’d look at him. “Megs,” he whispered, sliding some of hair behind her ear.
She stiffened but didn’t move away or remove his hand nor did she demand he not call her by his special name.
“You have to forgive me.”
“It’s over,” she said with impatience. “I know how you feel about me. Let’s forget about it.”
“I think the world of you, sweetheart.”
“You were angry, so you said what was on your mind. You must’ve felt that way at some point to even think of those things.”
He ruffled her hair. “Fuck, Megan. Yes, it annoys the shit out of me that Christopher never lets you out of his sight.”
“He’s my husband and my best friend. Where do you expect him to be?”
“We’re friends, Megs. Friends forgive one another.”
“True,” she bit out, “but friends don’t go around saying hateful things just because they have a lover. If we’re friends, then we’re friends no matter what.”
They fell silent, their conversation at a standstill. “I want to surprise Kendall,” he announced, changing topics. “Bring her here tomorrow with food and some drinks. Do you think she’ll like it here?”
Megan finally glanced at him and shrugged again. “Kendall isn’t me.”
No shit. He scowled at her. “Thanks for pointing that out,” he snapped.
She sat up and glared at him. “You asked. You know Kendall. Do you honestly believe just because I like something, she’ll like it?”
“Megs—“ CJ moved and Johnnie shifted his weight to make the child more comfortable. The question that had been haunting him came to his mind and he had to ask it. “Do you ever think about the time we spent together? Christopher once said you’ve been crushing on me for a long time.”
Instead of acknowledging his statement, she turned a delightful shade of pink. He laughed and, after a moment, she giggled, breaking the tension between them.
“Does it matter?” she asked after a moment. “We’ve both moved on.”
“Was I so special that you had to move on from me?”
“You know what I mean.” She gave him a sad smile. “I’m not Kendall,” she said softly.
“You sure aren’t.”
“She isn’t me, Johnnie. Stop comparing us. Stop making me the standard by whom you measure every woman you deal with.”
“That’s rather presumptuous of you—“
She cocked her head and waited. Johnnie had the grace to blush.
“A part of me will never stop loving you.”
She lowered her lashes. “I’ll hold onto our memories together forever,” she whispered. “But they are tucked here.” She laid her hand over her heart. “In a tiny, special place that no one can touch. It’s time for you to let go of me and do the same with those memories.”
He swallowed at her blunt honesty, appreciating her sweetness all the more and realizing he’d already tucked away their time together in that special place she spoke of. That’s why he wanted to move on with Kendall.
If only Kendall wasn’t…No, no if onlys. He had to accept Kendall for who she was or not accept her at all. She needed a lot of understanding. As long as he if onlyed he’d always expect her to be something she wasn’t.
“Fair enough, sweetheart.”
She smiled at him and crawled to where he sat, taking CJ into her arms and laying him on her shoulder. They stared at each other for long moments and she allowed him to touch her cheek, pass his thumb over her lips. She did the same to him then sat back and smiled at him, her tenderness for him there in her eyes.
“Kendall is really, really lucky to have you, Johnnie,” she whispered.
He nodded. “And Christopher is lucky to have you.” A fact Outlaw knew, so he wouldn’t fuck up his marriage because of Johnnie’s stupidity.
“I think I’m lucky to have him,” she returned.
He didn’t respond, so she continued. “If I was Kendall and you brought me to your special getaway for a romantic date, I’d love it. I think she will appreciate the idea you’re showing her a private side to yourself. Just don’t tell her you brought me here first. Or ever.”
“I’m not entirely insane,” he said with a smile. “The more people who know that, the more chance there is of Christopher finding out.”
“True, but I don’t think you’d risk being killed if you didn’t have something really important to tell me. Besides, the time we spent together has always been hanging between us and it needed to be discussed.”
She stared at him, the concern in her eyes letting Johnnie know he had her full attention. He swallowed. “Christopher and I are half-brothers and I need your help to tell him.”
Chapter 32
Kendall sat up in bed when Johnnie opened the door and walked in, pausing when he saw her.
“Hey,” he greeted, flipping on the lamp and sitting on the edge of the bed.
She’d seen him leave with Megan. Kendall had walked out of the kitchen with Zoann in time to see Johnnie taking Megan’s son into his arms and guiding her outside. No one uttered a word. They didn’t even blink. Outlaw wasn’t there, even though they were on lockdown, so Johnnie and Megan had went off to be alone together.
“Did you have fun with her?”
He didn’t even try to deny it. “We settled things between us.”
Not knowing what to say to his disarming honesty, Kendall laid back and turned to her side, stiffening when Johnnie stretched out behind her. He rubbed her back, his fingers twirling circles along her skin, burning straight to her core.
“I want us to try at a relationship, Kendall.”
“She gave you permission to do that?” she sneered, unable to stop herself.
“I deserve that, sweetheart. It wasn’t so much permission as it was absolution.”
“Go away.”
He settled a hand on her hip, thrust his erection against her buttocks and nuzzled her hair. “No. She was the first girl I really, truly loved. Can you understand that? I had to let her go. She had to allow me to let her go.”
“You made love to her?”
He leaned his cheek against hers. “No.”
“But you would’ve if she’d allowed it.”
He fell silent, thoughtful. Finally, he leaned back and pulled her into his arms. “Months ago, yes. Not now, Kendall. I wouldn’t betray you like that.”
Why should she believe him? How could she believe him? He didn’t love her, but she’d clung to him in her head through the awful weeks of Spoon’s imprisonment. She’d built him up in her head to be the man of her dreams well before he’d taken her and she’d spent time with him.
He kissed the top of her head and began to talk. At first, Kendall tuned out his words, lost in her misery, but then it slowly penetrated. His childhood. His teenage years. The first man he’d ever killed.
At the center of it all was Johnnie, caught between two people he revered—Christopher and Logan. But she heard what she’d suspected all along, something inside of him was broken. Shattered by the illusion of a man who couldn’t live up to Johnnie’s hero-worship, a man who didn’t want to live up to it. Torn apart by the knowledge of being that man’s favorite while his…brother…looked in from the outside, not having an invitation into the gilded cage.
When he fell silent, Kendall thought about what to say. But she was broken, too, lost in a haze of pain and horror. He’d propped himself up an elbow to open up to her. Now, he stared down at her, his beautiful eyes more vulnerable than she’d ever seen them.
He’d opened up to her. Let her in. Instead of words, she lifted herself up and planted a kiss on his mouth. He stiffened and pulled back, studying every inch of her, while she licked her lips, tasted the alcohol from his mouth. He kissed her cheeks, her forehead, his eyelids, and her chin.
And, finally, her mouth, melding their lips together, his fingers caressing her nipple, completely owning her. The kiss went from passionate to possessive and she moaned into his mouth, touching her tongue to his, his taste exploding through her. Their mouths fused together, he rolled onto her, careful to balance his weight in his arms. She opened her legs, cradling him between her thighs and thrusting against his erection.
“I’m not delicate. I won’t break,” she said in between kisses.
He paused and smiled at her, the Johnnie Effect almost blinding her. “Perception, sweetheart,” he said, inserting his hand in the waistband of the pajama bottoms she’d gotten out of his drawer and fingering her clit. He kissed her again, murmuring, “To me, you’re like a rare flower, Kendall. Delicate and gorgeous.”
She threw her head back to allow him access to her neck, gasping when he licked her tender skin. He rolled her nipple between his fingertips and she moaned, yanking at his silky hair. He tugged her pajama pants down then pulled them completely off.
Rubbing his nose against her, he melded his mouth against hers and sank into her in a simultaneous invasion, his in and out motion making her shiver and propelling her to matching hip thrusts.
“Come for me,” he ordered.
Kendall widened her legs, gripped his firm ass, and gyrated against him, falling apart when he pressed his fingers against her clit and massaging her sensitive nub. He growled her name, grunting in release, filling her with warmth.
An explosion rocked the clubhouse building, shattering the stillness of the night and the beauty of the moment.
Chapter 33
With only his jeans on and strapped with his nine in one pocket, .38 in the other, and Glock in his hand, Johnnie pushed through the crowd who’d gathered in the main room at the sound of the explosion, hurrying outside. Fire shot up through the trees, a red ball in a haze of black. Lowering his body, he rushed toward the pathway that led to Megs’s and Christopher’s house—the source of the blaze.
He wondered where Christopher—”
“Motherfucker,” a voice roared behind him.
A bullet whizzed by his head and Johnnie halted. “It’s me, Christopher. Stop shooting.”
Instead, Christopher lifted his nine and squeezed the trigger until he’d emptied the chamber. He wasn’t shooting at him, Johnnie realized as another series of shots came.
He dove next to Johnnie. “I’m goin’ to stick a fuckin’ cannon up the ass of whoever fuckin’ responsible for blowin’ up my house,” he growled, snapping another clip into place.
“Fire department on the way, Outlaw,” Stretch confirmed, breathing heavy.
“Fuck me. The fuckin hydro—”
Stretch dropped to the ground, blood spraying from his shoulder.
“We have to split up, John Boy,” Christopher instructed. “Keep your fuckin’ ass down. We don’t know how many motherfuckers out there.”
Stretch moaned and grunted.
“You packin’, Stretch?”
“N-no,” he managed.
“Go, Johnnie,” Christopher said. “Stretch, you gotta get back to the clubhouse. Keep low. I’m gonna cover both of you, so fuckin’ do it quick.”
Not having time to argue, Johnnie sprinted away, trusting Christopher to have his back. True to his word, he engaged in gunfire until Johnnie reached the pathway and ran for the cover of trees, He smelled the wood and various textures of the furniture and décor of the house.
Metal and glass crackled and sparked, bursting through the night in a hideous cacophony. Whoever bombed the house wouldn’t be standing around in the fucking dark, waiting for a hi, how the fuck are you.
Exhilarated by the adrenaline pumping through him, Johnnie sprinted forward, cutting through the trees instead of sticking to the pathway, the twigs, damp mud, and sticky leaves sticking to the soles of his feet, then flying away at his high velocity.
The house came into view, blazing in red and orange, stunning him for the merest second.
A second was all it took. The report of the gun sounded just before a bullet crashed into his chest.
Twining her hands together, Kendall spotted Meggie, holding her son, and leaning against the counter of the bar. She looked exhausted. For the first time, Kendall placed herself in Meggie’s shoes. Yes, Outlaw protected her. He wouldn’t even allow her own mother to do anything to her. But Meggie had the strength to hold her own against all these big bad bikers. She took care of them all, listened to whoever wanted to talk to her, and still managed to smile.
It was easier to
see now that she felt on firmer ground with Johnnie. She wished she could’ve seen it before, but she was human with frailties and weaknesses and insecurities.
Not sure of her reception, she stepped forward, nerves pounding through her. “H-hi,” she murmured, awkward and unsure. She’d never had girlfriends. She’d attempted it, once or twice, but always felt so awkward.
Meggie glanced up at her, then frowned. “Hey,” she muttered and went back to leaning against the counter.
Kendall reached for the baby, but Meggie made no move to allow her to hold him. But she wanted to take him into her arms and imagine her own baby. “May I?”
She stayed silent and Kendall thought she’d ignore her. Finally, she lifted him up and held him out to Kendall. He was sleeping and stirred at the exchange of arms, but didn’t waken. His black curls lay against his small face. She smiled and touched his head.
“We got off on the wrong start,” she began, loving his baby smell.
“You think?”
“I’m sorry.”
Meggie rubbed her temples and sighed, the sound of sirens roaring over the din of the conversation. “Just take care of Johnnie. He cares about you and he deserves to be happy.”
“Can we be—“ Her words fell away. Friendships took time to cultivate. Friendships weren’t made because some woman asked to be friends.
“I’m tired, Kendall,” Meggie said quietly. “My husband is out there.” She pointed to the door. “I have a very bad feeling my house has been blown to bits and pieces.” She closed her eyes, her exhaustion growing. “The club that Christopher loves, Johnnie, all of them, is on the verge of collapsing because of a man who came back to life. Because my father—“ She blinked back tears. “My father cared more about Logan’s business of selling girls than he did about justice. We can be friends. We can be anything you want. First, we have to save them. My Christopher and your Johnnie.”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 85