By the time Johnnie led Kendall to his Harley, he couldn’t wait to get away from the cemetery. He had to accept the inevitable. K-P was gone.
K-P was gone.
K-P. Was. Gone.
He slid into place on his seat, comforted by the heat of Kendall’s body against him, the beat of the sun on his face. The memories of K-P he’d hold close to his heart for the rest of his life.
Johnnie’s gut twisted and he despised Logan to the depths of his very soul. He had to let it go. He had Kendall and their baby. As long as hatred consumed him, he’d have no room to give them the love they both deserved—and that he wouldn’t abide.
He owed the beautiful woman behind him for giving him hope for the future. For protecting their baby.
Christopher lifted Megs onto his bike. She hugged him and wiped at his wet cheeks before allowing him to mount up. Val leaned against the handlebars of the hearse, hands covering his face. Digger, Stretch, and Mortician surrounded Bailey. Her devastation cut through Johnnie. He could never, ever offer her enough apologies for what his grandfather had taken from her. From all of them.
As more brothers headed to their Harleys, Johnnie offered a few words of his own to the ones Christopher had spoken minutes ago.
Rest easy, Kaleb Paul. Always riding.
Blinking back tears, Johnnie waited for the rest of the brothers to mount up so they could rev their engines in unison for one, final display.
Chapter 2
Leaning against the bathroom counter, Kendall rubbed her temples, her head pounding with the noise from the main room, quieted only for brief intervals as the brothers recounted stories about K-P. They’d returned to the club several hours ago and Kendall just wanted all the sadness and grief over with. She wanted to crawl into a hole until it all went away.
The door opened and Megan Caldwell stumbled in, not pausing to speak to Kendall, just rushing to one of the stalls. A moment later, Kendall heard her retching. She rolled her eyes, disgusted at the sounds of the girl’s vomiting and annoyed that she just couldn’t seem to escape her. Every time Kendall turned around Megan seemed to be there.
The stall door opened and Megan walked out, her face flushed and her blue eyes watery. “This baby is making me so sick,” she said by way of greeting.
Not as sick as Kendall was of her. Gritting her teeth, Kendall frowned though Megan didn’t notice. Or didn’t care. She’d already turned on the faucet, leaned down and rinsed her mouth out before splashing her face. She grabbed a few paper towels from the dispenser and patted her face.
“Now, I’m hungry,” she went on, turning to Kendall as if she wanted a response. “Are you?”
“No.”
Megan glanced at the gaudy pink walls with black scroll and the huge mirror like she searched for something. Not a topic of conversation, Kendall hoped. She could go all PC on Kendall and mention the weather, but Kendall still wouldn’t care.
Heaving in a breath, Megan gave her a tentative smile. Kendall wanted to chew a few nails and spit them out. Megan just irritated the hell out of her. Not only because of Johnnie. Or the fact that she had Outlaw twisted around her little finger. Nor did she irritate her only because all the other guys fell all over themselves to make her happy. No, Megan irritated Kendall just…because.
“I’m going to find Bunny. Would you like to come with me?”
Kendall leaned against the wall, slouching so she wouldn’t feel like a lumberjack compared to the other girl. “No.”
Megan’s brilliant smile faltered. Her beauty didn’t. “Umkay. Are you all right? I’m so tired. I can’t wait until Christopher is ready to go to our room.”
“Go without him if you’re so tired.”
Anger flashed in Megan’s eyes and she stiffened before plastering a phony smile on her face. “I want to be around in case he needs me. This has been a really hard day for him.”
“Johnnie hasn’t had it any easier,” Kendall snapped.
“None of the guys have,” Megan returned calmly, not backing away. She’d changed out of her black jeans and shirt, and now wore a fitted dove gray dress with her stupid Property of Christopher “Outlaw” Caldwell cut over it. “I wish Zoann was here for Val—“
“Another club whore,” Kendall sneered, folding her arms and glaring at Megan.
Megan stiffened, her surface cordiality slipping away. “No. Zoann is my sister-in-law. Johnnie’s cousin,” she added with a lift of her brow as if to mock Kendall about the extent of her knowledge of Johnnie.
“I know her.”
Maybe, she shouldn’t have referred to the woman as a whore, but Megan Caldwell brought out the worst in Kendall. Besides, Zoann huffed and puffed around Val, but, when she didn’t think anyone was looking, she stared at him like he was the only man in the world. Zoann’s behavior over a man who had no intention of committing to her, reminded Kendall of the whores who’d frequented the Torpedoes’ MC.
For a moment, she believed she knew more about Zoann than the blonde until the girl cocked her head to the side and studied Kendall. Then, she nodded. “I’m glad Johnnie has someone to confide in. He deserves to be happy and you seem to make him really happy.”
Did she make him happy? She wanted to believe she did and hoped he felt the same warmth in the center of his chest when he looked at her that she felt when she looked at him. Their closeness at night soothed all her fears and needs. If only she knew how to make him love her. He kept insisting he didn’t fall in love at first sight, but they’d been together long enough now where he should’ve realized his feelings for her.
Kendall shouldn’t have had to hear how happy she made him from a girl she’d rather ignore.
“Well, I guess I better find Christopher and my son—“
“I guess you’d better,” Kendall echoed.
With a little huff, Megan traipsed off. Kendall turned back to the mirror the moment she found herself alone again to study her face, roaming to her large cleavage. The door opened again.
Instead of Megan or any other woman, Johnnie stepped in and leaned against the door. He’d been running his fingers through his hair a lot, so the blond strands lay all over his head. The sadness in his eyes made her heart twist and she stepped closer to him before gliding her fingers along his jawline. The stubble that had grown since he’d shaved this morning scraped against her fingertips. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her nose against his neck, inhaling his scent. Smoke. Alcohol. The faintest hint of aftershave. Musk. And him. Johnnie.
She planted kisses against his throat and up to his mouth. He groaned and pulled her closer, taking control of the kiss and dipping his tongue into her mouth. Heat pooled low in her belly, her pussy slickening in need.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me, gorgeous,” he whispered, thumbing her nipples and thrusting his erection against her.
Kendall melted at his words and smiled, pulling back to stare into his eyes, burning with a silver intensity that seemed to reach into her soul. With so much on his plate, she wouldn’t tell him again that she loved him right now. Besides, she wanted to know how deep his feelings went for her. She couldn’t face his rejection.
“Come out with me?” he asked quietly. “I’m about to tell a hilarious story about K-P. Well, it’s more about us but K-P walked in at the end and—“ He rubbed the back of his neck and he shrugged before forcing a smile onto his lips. “I’d like you to be out there.”
Unable to deny him as much as she wanted to ask they return to their room, Kendall nodded.
His grin sparkled and he grabbed her hand. Moving away from the door, he opened it, then guided her out. He went to the center of the floor and whistled to call attention to himself.
“You’d never know just by looking at our ugly mugs how two little guys have woven their way into our hearts,” he began when the room had fallen silent. “I’m going to be a father, too, thanks to my old lady.” He nodded to Kendall and she blinked, heat rising to her cheeks, not expecting Johnnie
to make such an announcement.
Claps and catcalls reached Kendall, Johnnie’s loudest of all. She didn’t know how to feel about having so much attention fixated on her and wished Johnnie would’ve discussed his intentions with her, so she could’ve been better prepared.
Sliding into the seat she’d had earlier, she ignored the stares directed at her, balling her hands into fists to keep from screaming at everyone to focus elsewhere. Like on Johnnie, finally launching into the story he’d mentioned to her in the bathroom.
Losing herself in the cadence of his voice, Kendall blocked out everyone else and concentrated on the anecdote.
“I’m telling you, Outlaw,” Val insisted, “Meggie spoiling Little Man. You gotta make her stop with the bottle shit.”
Christopher scowled. “Megan know what the fuck she doin’.”
Johnnie leaned back and folded his arms, releasing the smoke after he dragged on his cigarette. “I agree with Outlaw, Val. There’s no crime for a mother to use her own judgment and go against recommendations.”
“John Boy right,” Mortician commented, unclipping his phone which indicated a text message. He looked at the screen, then rubbed his face, his expression a combination of resignation and aggravation.
“What pussy textin’ you and makin’ you so jerked off?” Outlaw pulled his nine from his cut, laying it on the table before lighting a cigarette.
Johnnie studied the weapon, almost unable to imagine Megs picking it up and firing it to save Christopher’s life. But she had and they knew she had their backs when worse came to worse.
“Just some young bitch I’m trying to fucking ignore,” Mortician snapped, bringing Johnnie back to the conversation.
“Don’t.” Christopher sucked on his cigarette and laughed, something he did a lot of lately because he felt worthy in someone’s eyes. Namely, Megs’s. “I can use a fuckin’ extra 5Gs. Call the bitch. Fuck her. Marry her, then deliver my fuckin’ money, you smug motherfucker.”
Digger sniggered. “Outlaw not ever letting you live our bet down, Mort.”
“I’m not even answering this bitch, so I’m sure the fuck not fucking her. EVER. I stand behind my bet and my belief young pussy fuck with a man’s head and make motherfuckers stupid.”
Christopher shrugged. “I’ll take stupid any fuckin’ day if it mean I got Megan, so go suck your own dick and then shove those words up your fuckin’ ass, assfuck.”
“Who is it, anyway?” Val gulped from his bottle of beer.
Frowning, Mortician looked away.
Christopher placed his cigarette in his special ashtray, the one Megan had given him for his 34th birthday and engraved with the grim reaper and his initials. He picked up his gun and removed the clip. “You one fucked motherfucker, Mortician,” he said, thrusting his chin toward the cabinet in the corner and indicating Val retrieve the supplies needed to clean his nine.
Mortician cursed when another round of sounds indicated a new message. “What you mean, Outlaw?”
“I mean I think them messages from fuckin’ Bailey. And your dick been in a snit ever since you saw her and it ain’t gonna let up ‘til you make her yours and then you really fucked.”
Everyone remained silent since Christopher spoke from experience.
“Might as well put your dick outta its painful misery and get it in Bailey cuz you fightin’ a losin’ battle, motherfucker.”
“Fuck off, Outlaw,” Mortician grumbled.
Christopher shrugged, not offended because it was only them. Outside of the presence of the officers, if anyone spoke to Outlaw like that, their teeth would be in pieces on the floor. “I’m gonna throw you the biggest fuckin’ bachelor party around, Mort. We gonna roast the fuck outta your ass like celebrities do and you gonna present all us motherfuckers with our 5Gs durin’ the celebration.”
Not responding, Mortician leaned back and glared at them, balling his fists when another message came through.
“Fuck off and let’s get back to discussin’ formula and shit for Ryan and Little Man.”
“My kid don’t drink no formala,” Val growled. “Never did. After Zoann finished with her tit milk, she got him drinking out of cups and shit.”
Christopher rubbed the oiled cloth around the chamber. “Little Man drink outta cups, too. But Megan say he rest better when he suck on his bottle. Ain’t fuckin’ arguin’ with her.”
“Zoann a nurse,” Val argued. “And she say—“
“Don’t give a fuck what my sister say. Anyway, she the bitch who gave Megan the recommendation on what formula to use.”
Raising his eyebrows, Val rubbed his chin. “Really? Which one? I was reading about formulas online when she first stopped her tit milk and Ryan was so fucking miserable. I felt for the kid. Tits are addictive and I can only imagine how it must be when you can get milk from them.”
“Best fuckin’ thing in the world,” Christopher announced, not looking up from his task.
He missed the way Johnnie, Val, Mortician, and Digger glanced at each other. All the better for them. They’d be missing their dicks. Johnnie’s feelings for Megs might’ve been the worst kept secret on the fucking planet, but the other three hid their lust for her quite well. When Christopher announced bullshit like tasting milk from Megs’s tits…well, they were only fucking human.
“What formula Little Man drink?” Val asked after clearing his throat.
“Not the one Zoann told her. Gave CJ the flamin’ shits,” Christopher remarked before they dived into a conversation about the best formula and taking notes on good diaper changing techniques, which they all had experience with because of Little Man.
The door swung open and K-P strolled in, frowning at the sudden silence. “What’s up?” he asked slowly.
Christopher snatched his gun up, only half finished with the cleaning, and slid the clip back into place, not answering.
Johnnie knuckled his nose, his nostrils flaring while Mortician and Digger grew quite interested in Mort’s phone. Val downed the rest of his beer.
“I miss something important?” K-P persisted.
Not at all, Johnnie thought with humiliation. Just a bunch of bad ass bikers talking baby formula and diaper changing.
“Nope,” Christopher said with a straight face. “We was just discussin’ whether or not Ryan or CJ had the biggest dick. My boy win hands down. He got enough dick to lend some out and still don’t miss nothin’.”
And that was how Christopher saved them from being the butts of jokes for the rest of their lives.
Kendall frowned as Johnnie finished relating the watered down version of the story he’d told her last night. While he’d been spinning his tale, Kendall’s mind had been filled with the real conversation and it included Megan, whom he hadn’t mentioned once just now.
Outlaw stood in the audience, after all.
Combing her fingers through her hair, Kendall admitted Johnnie told her about Megan’s breasts because she’d demanded he tell her the full story when he’d abruptly stopped. He hadn’t wanted to. In retrospect, she wished he hadn’t been so forthcoming. It made the resentment toward Megan she’d worked hard to overcome flare back to life. After seeing his arm going around Megan at church today, Kendall’s jealousy and insecurities ate at her.
She sighed as, one by one, the brothers offered up more tales about K-P, before toasting the man’s life. Well before she escaped into the bathroom, the same scene had been going on for hours and it wore Kendall down. She didn’t want to be amongst all these people, sharing Johnnie, watching tough bikers wrestle with their grief and touch upon their own mortality.
Megan slid back into the seat she’d occupied, off and on, all evening. A while ago, Mortician had escorted Bailey from the table and Kendall hoped Johnnie would do the same soon. A tall woman with brown hair and big boobs took the seat Bailey had been sitting in. She had a plate piled with all types of delicious looking food.
Kendall’s mouth watered and she swallowed, starving…
“Yo
u should eat,” Megan began, as if she’d read Kendall’s mind. “I haven’t seen you eat a thing today and that isn’t good for you or the baby.”
Bristling, Kendall glared at Megan, then smiled at the other woman. “I’m Kendall Miller. You are?”
“Bunny,” she responded around a mouthful of food. She pointed to a big biker, wearing a skull cap and having pierced lip, ears, and nose. “I’m his old lady.”
“Kendall—“
“I don’t feel like eating, Megan,” she interrupted.
Bunny frowned at Kendall and scooped more food into her mouth. “Meggie’s right. You’re preggers like she is. You and the kid need nourishment.”
She knew they needed nourishment. Food also helped keep the nausea at bay, not that it plagued her much. But…food. Without eating, she’d gain weight because of the baby. Anxiety churned in her stomach and the memories of being hurt and humiliated because of her body made the idea of food repulsive.
“Have you ever been pregnant, Bunny?” Kendall wanted no doubt about who she spoke to.
Bunny grabbed Megan’s glass of water and drank the rest of the contents.
“Do you know how thirsty I am?” Megan complained with laughter.
“That shit’s hot,” Bunny muttered, sticking her tongue out and fanning.
“Well—“
“What did you eat?” Kendall asked before Megan could make some other comment.
“Chili.” Bunny glanced at Megan. “Did you keep anything down, babe?”
Megan sighed and shook her head, staring at Kendall. “Not any real food. Just the crackers Christopher brought to me.”
“You’re scaring the shit out of me, Meggie,” Bunny admitted and belched. Chuckling, she covered her mouth. “Excuse me.” After another belch and patting her chest again, she continued. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get knocked up. I can’t imagine throwing up all damn day.”
“I threw up for a couple days,” Kendall explained, although no one had asked her. They’d sat at her table, so she wouldn’t allow them to talk over her. “It didn’t last long at all.”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 88