She didn’t question him. She just followed the command.
He took in her shoulders, back, and narrow waistline, ending at the gorgeous globes of her ass. All he needed to do was slide the pajama bottoms down to bare those delicious cheeks. She shifted her weight and Johnnie refocused on his perusal. That beautiful ass flared into round hips and endless legs. Placing his hands on her hips and turning her, her tears should’ve surprised him. They didn’t.
He cleared his throat, but didn’t comment. Nothing he could say, anyway. The best way to help her was showing her he accepted her ‘as is’. Studying the front of her body would be much harder on his resolve. Ignoring her luscious tits served as the biggest challenge. They were fucking perfect, a fucking wet dream bouncing to life.
Sliding his hands beneath her top, he traced her waistline and flicked his thumb over her soft skin, pressing a kiss beside her navel. She tensed and he laid his forehead against the pillow of her breasts, his heart pounding and his dick hurting.
For the briefest moment, he thought about finding relief with some Club Ass, but he’d promised Kendall they’d make their relationship work. Infidelity couldn’t be in the equation. He’d gone ten days without sex—a long time for him—and he could go longer. As long as she needed. He kissed her belly again and released her hips, raising his head. He reached up and thumbed her tears away.
He’d gone down this path about weight with her. Now, he had to see it through. If he offered an inane compliment such as you’re gorgeous no matter what size you are, she’d die a little more inside. If he guessed too far below her weight, she’d feel self-conscious. If he blurted a number too high, she’d believe herself fat.
And if he told her, he enjoyed all types of women…well, fuck, he didn’t know what. Spoon’s assault had stunted her feelings and reactions.
Drawing in a deep breath, he met her gaze. “Well, gorgeous, my educated guess is somewhere between one hundred thirty and one hundred fifty.” Chicken shit way out, but he worked with the tools he had.
Silence.
He scrubbed his hand over his face, mentally adding expressionless to her silence.
“I-I’m one h-hundred thirty-nine p-pounds.”
“You’re six feet, Kendall,” he pointed out as calmly as he could.
“I was once one hundred sixty pounds,” she sniffled.
“You’re six fucking feet,” he repeated again, incredulous. “You should be a hundred fifty, a hundred sixty pounds.”
She covered her face with her hands and shook her head. “I was huge! No one liked me. No one wanted to be with me.”
Johnnie stood and pulled her into his embrace. “Kendall, love, sometimes to have friends you have to show yourself friendly.”
“I did! In school, boys my age laughed at me and called me all kinds of names. They went for the blonde girls. The delicate girls.”
Like Megan. Fuck. Now he got why Kendall disliked Megan so much. It might’ve been subconscious on Kendall’s part, but she took out on Megan what she’d experienced in her youth.
“I had to sleep with older men. They were the only ones who wanted me. My first lover was one of my teachers and we did it in his classroom so I could bring up my grade.”
“That’s in the past,” he reminded her, harsher than necessary. The idea of some old fuck using a vulnerable girl pissed Johnnie off. He restrained himself from demanding a name to add to his You’re Fucked list. The Torpedoes took top priority on his latest list, anyway. “Don’t dwell on that, sweetheart.”
She had too much other shit from the present she dwelled on. He didn’t need her dredging shit up from the past to make her even more miserable.
“When was the last time you ate?” he whispered, kissing her temple and her forehead. He moved to her hairline and she shivered.
“I had toast and juice this morning,” she responded, breathless, not immune to him.
Her reaction pleased him.
“You need to eat.” So did he but it had fuck-all to do with food. His dick jumped and he knew she felt it because she squirmed against him. Her movement made him grit his teeth. “Baby Biker has to eat, too.” So did Daddy Biker. Her body melted against his and he groaned. Not considering his next words, he placed his hands on each side of her neck, the feel of her hair like silk against his fingers. If he didn’t fuck her soon, his dick just might explode. Moderating his words from X-rated to boring, he said, “I want you, Kendall.”
She heaved in a breath as if he’d just proposed they listen to a fucking law lecture. “Okay,” she mumbled.
Her defeated tone served as a bucket of ice thrown over his body. He wanted her to want him, too, not open her legs to him because she felt obligated. He swallowed and stepped away from her, regretting his words as high color slid into her face and uncertainty darkened her eyes.
He gave her a half-smile and looked at his watch. “Rain check, sweetheart. Fifteen minutes went by five minutes ago.” Turning, he walked to his desk and shut the lid on the laptop, already sleeping from lack of use. He gathered the bank statements he’d downloaded and printed and headed to the door. “I can have food sent to you or you can come out to the main room.” Which she hadn’t ventured into in four fucking days, so he already knew her answer.
“Wh-where do you want me to be?”
That answer shocked the fuck out of him and halted him. He turned. She looked so alone. So vulnerable. Every stride she’d made and every fear she’d overcome in the past several weeks had been wiped away the other night.
“Wherever you’re most comfortable. I won’t be in there with you because I do need to discuss our accounts with Christopher, but no one will hurt you.”
Kendall wanted to stop Johnnie and invite him to bed, but she couldn’t do it. Not after their discussion about her weight. And not after the other night, which brought back the horror of Spoon’s assault. But she had no one but herself to blame. She shouldn’t have underestimated Spoon. Because he’d called her on the phone, she’d believed she had the upper hand. Instead, he’d gotten high, which, in turn, led to his fury at what he considered her blatant disrespect, so he’d sent his boys after her. And they’d caught her. Her only consolation: she hadn’t gotten Johnnie, Outlaw, or any of the others involved by relaying that Spoon watched them. He’d also followed her and Johnnie. She didn’t want to think what would’ve happened if, for any reason, she’d ended up returning to the compound with Johnnie in his new Navigator at first.
They would’ve been killed.
She sank onto the bed and hugged her waist.
All she wanted to do was hold Johnnie and never let him out of her sight. If she took him in her arms, though, and allowed him to make love to her, she doubted she’d be able to respond. She believed she’d just lay beneath him, unable to separate her terror of being with Spoon and her desire to be with Johnnie. Her inability to have sex with him concerned her. She’d be devastated if he took his needs to another woman.
Maybe, she shouldn’t have spoken when he’d told her he wanted her. Maybe, she should’ve given him a little smile and let him have his way with her. This was Johnnie. He’d had her several times since her assault. He’d know what he could and couldn’t do with her. He’d—
A knock interrupted her thoughts and she raised her head. “Come in,” she called morosely.
Bunny stepped in, carrying a tray with three sodas. Megan trailed behind her and irritation replaced everything else. Megan. Pale, exhausted—and still gorgeous. Every blonde beauty those boys had spurned Kendall for. Nineteen years old. Probably one hundred pounds soaking wet and hovering about five feet or five feet one. Worshipped by everyone.
And currently marching to Kendall with a Styrofoam plate filled with food. She held it out to her and smiled. “Johnnie said you needed to eat.”
“And what Johnnie wants from you, Johnnie gets,” she snapped, grabbing the plate from Megan, who bristled.
“Kendall, I don’t know—“
“Babe,�
�� Bunny interrupted, taking Megan’s hand and guiding her to the chair Johnnie had spent half the day in. “Sit.” She sat a can of 7Up in front of Megan and popped it open. “You have to check on your mom in a little while, so rest while you can.”
Sipping from the can, Megan threw Kendall an evil glare.
Bunny laughed nervously. “Kendall, there’s a fork already on your plate. If you don’t mind, me and Meggie wanted to hang out with you for a few.”
“A few what?” Kendall responded sulkily, picking up the fork and stabbing a potato wedge before shoving it into her mouth.
Megan snorted. “A few days.”
Bitch.
“Um, we’ve been wanting to check on you for a couple days.” Bunny paused and glanced at Megan, but the girl had a blank look on her face and her blue eyes gave nothing away. “We’ve been so worried about you.”
An uncomfortable silence fell into the room and Kendall concentrated on her food.
“Kendall,” Megan began coolly, “I want to know if you need anything. Even if you just need someone who’ll listen, I’m here.” She drew in a deep breath. “I really am. We haven’t gotten off to the best start, but I understand what you’re going through and—“
“Understand?” Kendall interrupted, affronted that girl would even think to compare Kendall’s horrible experiences to hers. Whatever she’d gone through didn’t come close to Kendall’s. Every time she saw Megan Caldwell, each of Kendall’s insecurities waylaid her. “I doubt that.”
Tears glinted in Megan’s eyes and she cleared her throat. “Maybe, you should ask me,” she said softly. “You might be surprised.”
She had no intentions of asking Megan anything. Instead of answering, she tasted the corn. She’d allow herself four of the ten potato wedges and two forkfuls of sweet corn. She absolutely wouldn’t touch the cherry pie but she would take a bite of the roast.
As she followed her plan, ways of making up her lack of sex drive to Johnnie bounced in her head. She couldn’t decide on anything until something Bunny said caught her attention. Regretting not being able to eat everything, Kendall sat her plate aside.
“A barbeque would be great,” she put in.
Bunny and Megan looked at each other, then both of them turned to her.
Bunny grinned. “Yeah, Meggie thinks the guys need a break from all the intensity.”
Kendall shifted on the bed and scooted higher, leaning against the headboard. “Are you sure you can handle that? I mean you haven’t been feeling good.”
“I’m fine,” Megan mumbled, shifting her gaze away. She sounded hurt and sad, but Kendall refused to entertain the drama queen. “I just think—“
“You’ve been running yourself to the ground with your mom,” Kendall continued, taking a wild guess. She didn’t know what Megan had been doing. “Handling a big barbeque might not be so wise. Right, Bunny?”
Bunny frowned but gave a reluctant nod. “Yeah, babe. Um, Kendall’s right.”
Megan stiffened. “You and Gypsy and the others will help me and—“
“I doubt Outlaw will like you straining yourself.”
Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Bunny lifted a brow at Kendall. She knew Bunny sat on the fence about Kendall’s genuine concern for Megan.
Perhaps, her motives lacked sincerity, but, Kendall wanted Johnnie and the other brothers to see she had what it took to look after everyone and arrange events. Be the go-to old lady, so to speak. Until she convinced him to leave the club, she wanted Johnnie happy with her ability to lead.
“Okay,” Megan agreed. “We can plan the barbeque together.”
Together? “Erm, I didn’t mean us doing it together. I’d like to take the entire burden off your shoulders and do it myself.”
“Babe,” Bunny started, “um, I mean…um…have you ever planned something like this?”
No. “Who hasn’t?” She sniffed. Kendall knew how to cook some things, but she certainly didn’t know how to barbeque. How hard could it be?
“Meggie…” Bunny began, her brow furrowed. “Babe. Why don’t you let Kendall do this one? I-I mean, your days are a hit and miss, right? Sometimes you don’t throw up and other days you can’t stop. I mean—“
Megan’s shoulders drooped and her hurt deepened. “Fine. I’ll do one of the meats.”
Bunny smiled brightly. “Yeah, babe, with you helping us, we do up a mean brisket.”
“Okay, then,” she mumbled, getting to her feet and picking up her can. “I need to see about Momma, so, if you’ll excuse me.”
As she passed by Bunny, the woman grabbed Megan and hugged her. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
Kendall rolled her eyes. When would these people ever learn that they were the cause of Megan being such a snotty little bitch? As for the brisket, Kendall would shut her out of that, too. If none of the others wanted to show Megan that everyone suffered disappointments, Kendall would.
After all, she shouldn’t be the only one to be so disillusioned with life.
Chapter 14
Mid-April brought in clear, sunny skies, mild temperatures, and blooming flowers. The trees in the wooded area behind the clubhouse thickened with green leaves.
The body count rose. Torpedoes—6. Dwellers—0. But Johnnie didn’t expect their luck to continue, which had everyone on edge. Spoon left his brothers out in the open, prime targets for them. On the other hand, his underground activities must include plans for a big retaliation.
This evening, they were barbequing. Tables, containing brisket, ribs, sausage and hot dogs, were set up on the north side of the property. Coolers overflowing with beer stood in front of the tables. The women laughed and talked amongst themselves.
Johnnie glanced in the direction of the fence, where a blanket holding one woman in particular lay. Megan. Boycotting the picnic because Kendall had suggested and arranged it. She had Dinah and Little Man with her, one as much a child as the other.
Since K-P’s death, Dinah had lost all touch with reality and Johnnie knew the constant care Megan gave to her mother wore on her. He also knew nothing would interfere with Christopher’s determination to make the Torpedoes pay for what they’d done. Christopher wanted their heads, more to avenge Megan’s house than anything else. So, for the time being, he allowed Megan to exhaust herself with Dinah and gave her a pass on her bitchiness.
Johnnie wanted to shake her for her inexcusable and abominable behavior toward Kendall. On the other hand, he valued his life too much to either say anything to her or put his hands on her, so he followed Christopher’s lead and let her attitude pass.
Little Man squirmed on her lap and irritation surged on her face, the wind ruffling her golden hair and the baby’s black curls. He whined and Christopher materialized from wherever.
“Hey, boy.” He bent and plucked Little Man from Megan’s arms. “Stop givin’ your Ma a rough time.”
“He’s teething, Christopher,” Meggie said quietly.
“Okay, baby. Just rest with Dinah. I’ll take him for a little while.”
Megan glowered in Kendall’s direction and pressed a hand to her belly. Did all pregnant chicks do that? “If you don’t mind, I’ll take him and Momma inside.”
Christopher sighed and handed his son over. “Okay, Megan.
“Johnnie!” Kendall called, drawing his attention away from Megan’s perplexing behavior.
Without delay, Johnnie reached Kendall’s side and obediently tasted the brisket she held out to him. His nostrils flared at the charred exterior and tough, bloody interior. Forcing the food down, he smiled. “Who cooked?”
Amusement lit Bunny’s eyes and she pointed to Kendall. A tall, busty girl, Bunny had been dating one of the regular brothers for almost four and a half months. She was one of Megan’s friends trying to make Kendall comfortable.
“It’s delicious, isn’t it, John Boy?” she asked, giggling.
Chuckling at Bunny’s mischief, Johnnie winked at her. “The best I’ve ever tasted.”
Bunny’s amusement died and uncertainty rose up. “Hey, babe, I didn’t mean any harm.”
Two weeks had passed since Caroline’s funeral. That coupled with Kendall’s most recent attack made her willing to leave their room only in the evenings to tend the bar. With the out-of-town members gone and with the Torps situation, not much went on at the clubhouse. Kendall wasn’t needed behind the bar, but they all agreed it might help her to feel more accepted.
The more they tried to make Kendall feel welcomed, the more pissed Megan became.
Kendall glanced between him and Bunny, frowning. She bent slightly, to make herself not as tall. She’d never said it but Johnnie noticed whenever Bunny or one of the other old ladies were around, she did it. The tallest woman there, her height bothered no one but her.
“I have to use the bathroom,” she said stiffly and walked off.
Bunny’s eyebrows drew together and she tugged at the ponytail she’d fashioned in her hair and swept to one side.
An embarrassed laugh escaped his rising anger. “They’re setting a bad example, aren’t they?”
“Who?”
“Kendall and Megan. Who else?”
Bunny tugged harder and scrunched her nose. “I-I’m not picking sides or anything and…and Meggie probably could be a little more understanding.” She paused and glanced around, visibly relieved when she saw Christopher talking to Val.
“No shit. She could be much more understanding. Kendall’s been through a lot and we all rallied around Megan when she needed us,” he fumed.
“Yes,” Bunny agreed, drawing the word out and lowering her lashes. She licked her lips, opened her mouth, then thought better of it. “Maybe…maybe, you need to look at the situation a little closer.” Not adding anything more, she turned and headed for her old man.
Sounds of retching and a screaming baby reached Kendall before she opened the door with the sign Chicks on it. Except for Dinah Nicholls, who sat at one of the tables staring into space, the clubhouse was deserted.
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 102