She didn’t like that. Although she made no response to his comment, her disappointment returned.
“Don’t judge.”
“As if,” she replied with so much sadness Digger knew it ran deep within her. “I’m the last person in the world in a position to judge anyone.”
“If you not judging me by that hang-dog disappointment, what you been doing?”
“Analyzing you.”
“I’m not fucking hard to figure out, Bunny,” he scoffed, polishing off the bottle of vodka.
“You are complicated,” she insisted. “The only thing I picked up on that you’ve planned is your intention to leave me here and search for your father. But have you really though that out of is this just something to do? Suppose you’re killed? What happens to me and CJ then? I don’t know where we’re at. I have no money. No phone. Nothing.” She twisted strands of hair around her fingers. Digger wished he was touching the shiny strands. Any place on her body, actually. “Suppose you do find Sharper? You could very well lead him back to us.”
“You overthink situations, Bunny,” he accused, unsettled by her very valid questions. “I don’t need a fucking moral compass, a living, breathing conscience, planting uncertainty in me. I have enough on my own.”
“We all do at some point.”
“Bullshit.”
She rocked back on her heels. “How were you sergeant-at-arms? You have to be a good strategist to keep the president safe.”
“In spite of your low opinion of me, I never got no complaints. I did my fucking job.” Mort kept him on the straight-and-narrow.
No reaction from her at that announcement. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting and why he wanted her to give a response. Bunny was so unlike Peyton, something he needed to remember that.
Peyton had been wild as fuck and always wanted something. Revenge. Money. A fuck. Toward the end, she’d worn him out. She’d been evil rather than vengeful.
“So why did you agree to think about my requests to call Outlaw? Thinking doesn’t seem to be your strong suit.”
Ha ha. Fucking hilarious. “Val’s the dumb one,” he countered with a scowl.
“Yeah, but he can learn. You don’t want to, so that makes you the stupid one.”
Damn, she was brutal. “For a bitch supposedly afraid of me, you sure got a smart fucking mouth.”
Lowering her lashes, she snapped her mouth shut and Digger wanted to take the words back.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He was enjoying her company and if he frightened her again, she’d shut down and walk away. Despite the circumstances, it felt nice just to speak his mind.
She placed her hand on her belly and he jumped to his feet, remembering her pain pills.
“You ever telling me what happened?”
She searched his face and he knew what she was doing. Weighing if he were worthy to confide in.
“Since you took care of me, I owe you an explanation.”
That wasn’t exactly the reason Digger wanted her to open up, but it had to do.
“I was pregnant. Trader didn’t want it,” she said quietly, shifting from foot to foot. “So he beat it out of me.”
“Fuck, man.” It was even worse than he’d imagined. “I’m sorry, Bunny. On the real. That’s some cold ass shit he did to you. No woman deserves that and a dude should have more feelings for a kid, whether it’s his or not.”
She gave him an evil look. “It was his baby!” she snapped with indignation.
“That makes what he did even worse. He killed his flesh and blood. Taking your baby away even if it wasn’t his, is fucked up.”
A muscle ticked in her jaw and she glanced away, the light reflecting on the tears filling her eyes.
Out of words, Digger went to the table and picked up one bottle and then the other, both with the name of the drug scribbled on paper then taped to the bottle. He opened one and tapped out a pill before walking to her. “Open your hand.”
Obediently, she followed his instructions. Tears spiked her lashes and her nose had reddened with her effort to not cry. She stared at the pill until she regained her composure, then she shook her head. “I can’t take this. Little Man might wake up.”
“Who the fuck you think took care of him while you were sedated?”
“That was before you turned into a meanie-pants.”
“Did you really just fucking say meanie-pants?”
“Yes,” she sniffed, lifting her chin. “That’s what you are. Threatening a scared little boy.”
He hated to break the news to her but that little motherfucker wasn’t afraid of him. He’d been tired and he’d wanted Bunny’s attention. However, pointing that out to her would piss her off, so he changed the subject. “You in pain, right?”
“I’m not takin that pill.”
“Stop being so fucking stubborn. The kid won’t fucking die if you’re resting. You need it so you can regain your strength.”
At first, her look softened. Then, whatever she thought made her shake her head and straighten.
“I appreciate your concern. If you’re sincere, fix whatever you’ve gotten us into. My brother’s still in danger. I’m still kidnapped, and so is that child who’s trying to be brave, but he keeps crying for his mother and his father. He adores them. You want to do something? Get him back to his parents. Let me call Outlaw. I’ll do whatever you ask if you send CJ back so he can get to a doctor.”
Maybe, he could get Little Man back to Outlaw and keep Bunny as insurance. Meggie liked her, so if Outlaw thought harming Digger would, in turn, harm Bunny, he might be able to get away and hide out at her parents’ house as she’d suggested. If Digger left on a blind manhunt, he could either get killed or lead his father back to the cabin, imperiling Bunny and the kid. Little Man deserved to be with his father, just as Tyler should’ve been with Mortician, but he never got that opportunity.
“If I do this for you, what I get in return?”
“Nothing. I have nothing to give you but my gratitude.”
“You have nothing you want to give.”
She huffed in exasperation. “Why not do it because it’s the right thing? Why do you have to get something in return?”
“That’s the way life work. Or are you too naïve to realize that motherfuckers fall into the category of a giver or a taker. The ones who give end up losing their souls.”
“And those who take end up losing their humanity,” she countered softly. “Their empathy.”
There she went again, attempting to work on his conscience. “Shut the fuck up. What do you expect me to fucking do? If Outlaw don’t value your life, mine’s fucked if I give up the kid.”
“Please. He’s just a small boy.”
“This not only about Outlaw kid. This about Gabe too.”
“It is,” she admitted, her steady gaze on him. He really didn’t like the hurt or the hope in her eyes. “Can you hold that against me after what you did for your brother?”
“Don’t flip the fucking script.”
Her chin wobbled at his shout and she pursed her lip, perilously close to crying. He didn’t need to be a brain surgeon to know she’d shed many tears once she’d taken up with Trader.
“We might not be able to save my brother.” Swiping at a tear, she sniffled. “But we can save CJ.”
Fuck. Little Man needed medical attention, so they could save him. That thought alone guided his decision to change his mind. No other reason. He definitely didn’t do it for Bunny or because of anything she’d said.
Stomping to a bag, he found notepaper and a pen and thrust the items into her hands. “You want him sent back? Sit and write exactly what I say.”
Little Man had a fever.
After writing the letter Digger dictated to her, Bunny left him alone and went to the room where she’d awakened. Meggie’s son had flushed skin and moved restlessly about. When Bunny crawled next to him, she found him burning up. Using cold towels, she lowered his temperature. She had no children’s
medication available and she feared giving him any of the bootleg drugs on hand.
She’d gotten little rest, so when Digger came in at the break of dawn and announced they were heading out, Bunny breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that he was actually releasing the toddler. They drove in silence, which she took comfort in. The worry about CJ and the intensity of her conversation with Digger had drained her. Once she’d gotten his agreement to return Little Man, and had started writing the note he dictated, she hadn’t interrupted, fearing he’d change his mind. Most of what he told her to wrote led her to believe he was insane. What person of sound mind believed leaving such written evidence was a good plan? To Bunny, it was just another example of his recklessness.
Digger acted. He didn’t think.
An hour after they started off, they came across a Walmart, where Digger allowed her to run in and purchase Children’s Tylenol. She’d also purchased disposable diapers for CJ. Knowing Meggie had him potty-trained, Bunny had hated to do something that might make him regress. But it was possible for Digger to stop every time CJ needed to use it.
Now, as dawn turned into daylight, Digger pulled into a restaurant and Little Man slept in the back seat of the car, Bunny kept her mind focused and positive. If she thought about all that could go wrong with the plan Digger had, she’d never go through with it.
Digger opened the door, but before he stepped out, Bunny laid a hand on his shoulder. “Are you sure this is the only way?” she whispered. “He’s just a small child and he’s sick.”
He stared at her a moment, then took her hand in his and squeezed. “I promise I’m going to find somebody to leave him with, in the restaurant.”
“They can kidnap him or leave him or murder him. He might never get back to his mom and dad.”
“I’m going to do the best I can to see that he does. Even if that mean sitting here all fucking day,”
“Digger, let’s take him back to Hortensia. Please.” They’d driven even further away from the town.
“Can’t fucking do that. I don’t know who to trust there. I might come across a motherfucker who just take the kid and let me go. But it’s just as likely I’ll run across my father and cousin. I won’t be able to save Little Man or you. If you want me to do this, then this is the way. Otherwise, let’s get back on the road and we get him to a hospital when we get to your folks in Arizona.”
That would be at least another two days and Bunny didn’t want to risk that. He’d gone long enough without medical attention.
“Okay, we’ll do it this way,” she agreed, having no choice. “How will you know who’s trustworthy enough to leave him?”
“I haven’t been too good at judging a motherfucker’s character lately, so I’m not sure.”
That made two of them. She’d sorely overestimated Trader, a mistake she wouldn’t repeat.
Once Digger took Little Man into his arms, the child whined slightly, then rested his cheek on Digger’s shoulder, his lids drooping closed again. They headed into the restaurant, passing a skinny kid who couldn’t be older than fifteen. He sat on the small patch of grass near the door, a rolled up sleeping bag and knapsack resting near him. He had shaggy hair and such sad eyes.
For a moment, Digger stared at him, before he continued on without a word. After placing their order, Bunny picked at her food while Digger dug in. Little Man lay next to her on her side of the booth.
Digger poured two sugars into his coffee. “I bet that kid’s homeless.”
“Probably so.”
A shadow fell over his face. “At least he’s alive.”
Unlike Tyler. He didn’t say it, but Bunny knew that’s who he thought of.
“Do you want to talk about Tyler? I’m a very good listener.”
Pausing, he looked away, then shook his head. “Not much to say.”
Every time a child was brought up, Digger talked about Tyler. Perhaps, remembering him would ease some of his pain. “What was he like?” she asked, ignoring his response.
He snorted. “Unlike any motherfucker you knew. Tyler was…” His voice trailed off and he turned thoughtful. “Damaged,” he said finally. “My fault, too, and another reason I’ve decided I don’t want kids. I don’t know how to be a father.”
“You could learn.”
“Yeah, if I was interested, but I’m not.”
“Fair enough. Trader wasn’t interested either. He didn’t want my babies.”
“Fuck Trader, man. He was a fucking asshole. Don’t let what the fuck he said fuck with you. If I wanted kids…a woman of my own…I don’t think there’d be a better chick than you. You so fucking pretty and sweet. Caring. More than anything, you loyal.”
His voice deepened with each compliment he showered on her, curling around Bunny’s insides and making her squirm with embarrassment and desire.
“And that fucking body of yours,” he continued. “Make a motherfucker say Praise, Jesus and hallelujah.”
She giggled. “You’re silly.”
“But I got you to laugh.” He gripped his coffee, then shifted in his seat. “Once we leave the kid, it’s just going to be me and you.”
“And?”
“Don’t play fucking dumb. Will we fuck?”
She’d be the first to admit that Digger intrigued her, but not a week had gone by since her relationship with Trader ended. Er, since Outlaw ended her relationship with Trader. More than that…”I’m your captive. I’m not sleeping with you under these circumstances.” And if that wasn’t enough of an argument. “Besides, Trader deserves some respect.”
“You think? Because the way I see it, you just doing it cuz that’s what’s fucking expected of you by society. You was with the motherfucker so you required to mourn his dumb ass. Don’t get involved with no other motherfucker ‘til a certain amount of time passed, otherwise you supposedly an unfeeling bitch. That matter if you live for other motherfuckers and not yourself.” He thrust his face closer and lowered his voice. “The motherfucker deserved what he got. You know it and I know it, too. You don’t want to fuck me? That’s cool, baby. Just use a real fucking excuse.”
“That is a real excuse, asshole.”
“In your goddamn mind. Not in mine. It’s not real and it sure the fuck not valid.”
“You don’t think I’d be dishonoring his memory?”
Digger’s eye-roll annoyed her. “Fuck, Bunny, I didn’t peg you as a stupid bitch. Misguided, yeah. But after what Trader did, you have the right to give up your pussy on top his grave.” He grinned. “Graves.”
“What are you talking about?”
He gave her a long consideration, then shook his head in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it. Enough about his dead ass anyway. Let’s get back to you giving me some pussy.”
When she pursed her mouth, Digger raised his hand.
“Look, girl, I’m not proposing nothing more but giving you a few good orgasms. I’m not trying to marry your ass.”
Images of the two of them wrapped around each other displaced speculation on what he meant by Trader having more than one grave. No, not speculation. She knew about the meat shack. What went on inside the place was just too gruesome to contemplate.
“Sleeping with you won’t do me any good.” She’d open herself up and leave herself even more vulnerable. “No matter what you say, you have the power of choosing if I live or die. Besides, why do you want to sleep with me? Is wanting to have sex with me just another impulsive decision of yours?”
“Nope. From the moment I saw your bald cunt, I wanted to fuck it.”
Her mouth fell open at his explanation. He shrugged.
“Then I got to know you and it stopped by just a pussy to stick my cock in. I’ve been wanting to fuck you.”
She couldn’t think of a response., so she only stared.
“It’s true. So, no, this not one of my ‘impulsive decisions’,” he said, using air quotations before grinning at her. “Maybe, you’ll give me pussy on the way to your folks. You know I c
an’t wait to meet them?”
Wondering if he knew she hadn’t really told her mom that Digger was coming with her, she eyed him suspiciously. The conversation had been short and tense.
“Hi, mom,” Bunny had greeted when Virginia answered.
“What do you want?”
“Um, yes, a visit.” She’d hoped her answer made it seem as if her mom had asked her if it had been suggested to her.
“When?”
“In two or three days.”
“Fine.” And Virginia had hung up. Only, Bunny had stayed on the phone, pretending to tell her mother that she was bringing a friend.
Guilt at her manipulation of Digger assailed her. He’d become agreeable to releasing CJ because he’d believed they’d have a place to stay, while he got his defense together to present to Outlaw, once he contacted him with news of her continued captivity. If Digger though they wouldn’t have a place to stay, he might’ve changed his mind about releasing Meggie’s son. What she’d done was a gamble. Virginia could turn them away, but, at least, CJ would be back with his parents.
“Let’s see who pass through here,” Digger said into the silence.
A family of five with three well-mannered children and neatly-dressed parents came first. Digger said they’d call CPS before they did anything else.
“Then the FBI. The DEA. The CIA. And whatever other fucking acronymed-agency you can think of,” he grumbled. “Too clean cut.”
“What about if you don’t leave the incriminating letter?”
He didn’t respond.
“And what would the CIA need to be involved for? Aren’t they like for spies?”
“Don’t matter. I don’t want to risk it.”
Another two families came in. Bunny didn’t bother to ask. A female biker walked in, her helmet clutched under her arm.
“Nope. Not a biker. Chick or not.”
A parade of people passed through. An older man who seemed to have forgotten his contacts or eyeglasses. He squinted at everything. A younger guy who wore jeans and a T-shirt displaying his bodybuilder muscles. Two teenage girls who giggled with each step they took. An older woman with a bible in one hand and her purse in the other. A pregnant woman pushing a stroller.
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 249