“You hate me! Just like I always knew you would.”
“Girl, you know me better than that. If I hated your ass, you wouldn’t set foot in my house. I wouldn’t use the breath it took me to try and get you in line.” Roxy stood from the stool. Although she was shorter than Kendall, her presence filled the room. She put her hands on her hips. “If you’re not getting what I’m saying, fuck it. Let’s move on to confession time. What have you done that you think is endangering Johnnie?”
“I went to ask Outlaw if he’d allow me to work and…and…and…” She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
“And?” Roxy persisted.
Dropping her hands, she sniffled again. “And I stupidly threatened Meggie and he put his fingers around my neck. I thought he was going to choke me, but, in the end I realize he was just trying to scare me. But…but…” She swallowed, and her lower lip trembled. “I made the bruises appear worse than they actually were and called Johnnie. And…and…oh God! He flew into a rage and tried to strangle Meggie to death.”
Roxy’s brown eyes widened, shock drifting across her face, then she nodded slowly. “Yeah, baby. Johnnie’s fucked. Outlaw is going to deaden his dumb ass.” She scrubbed a hand over her face. “I can’t believe that stupid motherfucker. What in the hell possessed him to go after Meggie? Even if Outlaw had choked the fuck out of you, Meggie didn’t have anything to do with it.”
The words made Kendall plop into the stool Roxy had just vacated. A feeling of impending doom swept through her, and she couldn’t stop her tears. Roxy must’ve been really concerned about Johnnie. She wasn’t chewing Kendall out for leading Johnnie to believe her injuries were worse off than in reality.
“There’s more,” Kendall whispered in a teary voice.
“Oh Lord Jesus. What else did the boy do?” Roxy positioned herself on the other side of the breakfast bar, right across from Kendall. “I thought he liked life.”
“It wasn’t him, Roxy,” Kendall admitted. “It was me. All me. I just wanted Johnnie on my side, so I started drugging him. The pills always made me agreeable. I thought they’d do the same for him. The first medication made him so sick I thought he was going to die. The second one has made him a…a monster.” She broke out into loud sobs again.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Kendall?” Roxy shouted, sudden fury darkening her eyes. “You could’ve killed that man.”
“In essence, I have killed him! All because of the stupid job I took.”
“Wait a goddamn minute! You took the job? You’re representing someone?”
“The enforcer of the Imperials,” Kendall admitted woefully.
Roxy folded her arms and stared at her.
“Say something,” Kendall pleaded after a moment.
“Last I checked, my eyes were in pretty good condition. But I’m starting to wonder because when I look at you, I see a beautiful, intelligent woman not a no-sense, no-good, selfish, narcissistic, self-pitying, destructive lowlife who’ll betray her own family to have her way.”
“Roxy!” Kendall cried.
“Shut up, child. Just shut the fuck up. Do you know what the fuck you’ve done? You’ve jeopardized your life and your husband’s life just to have your fucking way. Yeah, you want a career, Kendall, but it’s more about breaking those men down to your fucking will than really wanting to fucking work. Know how I know that?”
Kendall couldn’t answer at Roxy’s yelling. She could only cry.
“Ask me the fuck how I know you don’t want to work, Kendall?” Roxy commanded.
“How do you know?” Kendall said, her voice so thick with tears it surprised her how clear the words sounded.
“Because your sadity ass prefer to be on the boards of charities and visiting art galleries and going to recitals and operas and having champagne or tea.”
“I’m not Meggie,” Kendall almost snarled. “I want a career.”
“The fuck you do. And the only motherfucker that’s trying to turn you into Meggie is you. If it wasn’t for Meggie and Outlaw, you’d be happy and content. You’re so fucking miserable, because you’re so fucking jealous. I can’t believe you. I hope your fucking case is worth it.”
“I don’t want it anymore. I’ve lost my nerve for it. I’m so sorry.”
“That can be you and your husband’s epithets when Outlaw bury you two in the same miserable grave. We were sorry.”
Roxy started out of the room, but Kendall jumped off the seat and ran behind her.
“Please!” she screamed, halting Roxy. “Please, don’t leave me! Please. I’m so sorry. I don’t have any friends. Even Meggie is tired of me.” Kendall fell to the floor. “Please. If you walk away from me, I’ll have no one. Please.”
Roxy spun and marched back to where Kendall had fallen to her knees. “I’m so fucking angry with you, but I’m not leaving you. I’m taking a break before I find a shoe and spank your ass. Johnnie takes a lot of bullshit on your behalf from Outlaw and the others. He handle you wrong a lot of times, but I give him points for his patience. He listens to you and tries to understand you and all the fuck you do is give him heartache.”
“I don’t deserve him.”
“No, you don’t deserve your self-destruction. As for Meggie, that little girl is tired of trying to be your friend, when you make innuendoes about her husband and still find ways to criticize her.”
“Who cares if I say suggestive things about Christopher. Other than some obligatory jealousy in the beginning, he doesn’t even say anything.”
“Because Outlaw hates your ass. Johnnie knows he don’t have to worry about the man ever fucking you. Again, you’re the only one who’s missed the memo. You’re playing games you’re not going to win.”
“I’m so sorry, Roxy.”
Roxy heaved in a breath. “Sometimes, sorry’s not good enough. Your confession about drugging Johnnie would exonerate him but put you in the hot seat.”
“I know.”
“Have you been to see Meggie?”
“I’m too ashamed,” Kendall whispered, bowing her head.
“You just have to buck up. You had the balls to do all this bullshit. You’re going to need them to go and see about her.”
“I guess you want me to confess.”
“I want you to straighten the fuck up before it’s too late. I don’t want you to forfeit your life. Get home and pull yourself together. We need to find something to divert those boys’ attention.”
“Meggie wants to throw a Valentine’s Day Ball.”
“That’ll do,” Roxy said, “but we’re telling her we need to start planning it so we can settle things down. Understand? Right now, we’re not going to air your dirty laundry. She’ll tell her husband and I wouldn’t fucking blame her. Don’t drug Johnnie again. Let him show how remorseful he is once he comes back to himself. Meanwhile, we’ll figure out a way to tell Johnnie what happened.”
“He’ll hate me!”
“I bet your ass right now Outlaw hates him. I won’t allow their relationship to be a casualty of your bullshit. But Johnnie loves you. He’ll be angry, hurt, and disappointed. He’ll get over it, though.”
“One day, he won’t,” Kendall whispered.
“You need to remember that before you start with your bullshit.” She held out her hand and helped Kendall to her feet. “Now, get home. We have to fix this mess, one step at a time, and the first step is visiting Meggie.”
Although Kendall nodded, she disagreed. Her first step should be resigning from that stupid case.
WITH HER THROAT HURTING AND her voice hoarse, Meggie opted not to make any phone calls. Luckily, she didn’t have meetings scheduled, which allowed her to hole up in her office. Word spread amongst her friends, about the stranger who broke in and choked her.
Circulating the story made it more believable.
Zoann veered from their usual schedule and stopped in to see Meggie before she went to their first client. Bailey brought homemade apple sauce. Ophelia came with f
lowers. As usual, Bunny did whatever Meggie needed, but hovered just a little more. They all came with hugs.
Meggie told Bunny the truth. Mortician probably told Bailey the real happenings of the day before. Whether or not he filled in Val, Cash, and Stretch, who, in turn, told Zoann and Ophelia, Meggie wasn’t sure. As a matter of fact, she hoped not. That would be such a coverup from Christopher. However, in her heart, she knew her husband would never forgive himself if he harmed Johnnie.
Despite their differences, they loved each other.
“Mommie, I got toast for you,” CJ announced, walking into her office and stuffing a hand in his pocket. He hadn’t wanted to leave her this morning, so she’d allowed him to stay home.
She intended to go about her normal routine. Therefore, both Christopher and CJ could know she was fine.
Turning from her desk to face CJ, Meggie smiled. “I can use a piece of toast, buddy.”
CJ lifted his brows at the sound of her voice. He had so many of Christopher’s mannerisms, including the way he liked to cock his head to the side. Just as he did now.
“Your throat is sore?”
“A little,” she admitted. “But I’m fine.”
He studied her a moment longer, then dug in his pocket and handed her cold, butter-sogged, balled-up, bread. She hid another smile. Crumbs must be overflowing in every seam of the jeans he wore.
“I make it softer.” He squished the stuff between his fingers, further ruining it, then he held it to her lips.
Obligingly, she opened and allowed him to shove it into her mouth. “Ummm, yum.”
CJ grinned
“Meggie,” Kendall called, walking into view. “How are you?”
“Fine,” Meggie answered, wondering if Kendall knew the truth. She gave no indication that she did. Her gaze focused on Meggie’s neck, her expression unreadable.
Roxy brushed past Kendall and headed to Meggie, stopping at the edge of her desk. “Are you all right, sugar?”
“Aunt Roxy!” CJ yelled with a big grin, as if he hadn’t seen her in days when, in fact, he’d been with her until late last night.
Keeping her gaze on Meggie, Roxy opened her arms. CJ barreled against her. Automatically, she lifted him in her arms and kissed his cheek.
CJ squirmed out of her hold. “I gave Mommie breakfast,” he announced.
“It was delicious,” Meggie said with a smile.
He beamed between her and Roxy.
Kendall glided to a stop behind Roxy. “CJ, can you get me a glass of water?”
“Yes, Aunt Kenda—”
“Or is Bunny around, playing maid, assistant, and nanny?”
CJ frowned at her.
“Cut the bullshit, baby,” Roxy snapped. “CJ, why don’t you check on your brothers and sister?”
“Aunt Kendall wants water.”
Roxy smiled. “She’ll do fine without.”
Still not convinced, he glanced at Meggie, and sidled closer to her. “Mommie sick. I’m taking care of her. She got fingers on her neck.” He pointed toward the area in question, then frowned at the scarf covering the bruises.
“I’m fine, CJ,” Meggie reassured him for the millionth time, ruffling his hair. He tipped his head back and grinned.
“You don’t sound fine,” Kendall said in a shaky voice. “You sound as if you were strangled to within an inch of your life.”
Meggie glared at Kendall, while Roxy placed her fisted hands on her hips.
Tears rushed to CJ’s eyes and he crawled onto Meggie’s lap, laying his head against her chest, and sniffling. He didn’t like to cry, considering himself a big boy, so he was doing his best to hold back.
“Kendall, bring this baby to Bunny,” Roxy ordered, nodding to CJ.
“No!” CJ sobbed. “I stay with MegAnn.”
“It’s okay, potato,” Meggie whispered, kissing his head. “The kids are probably missing you. Go help Aunt Bunny with them.”
It took a moment to convince her son to leave her, but he finally slid from her lap and went to Kendall, grabbing her hand. Although she didn’t pull away, her expression was less than pleased.
“Do you need anything?” Roxy asked, once they were alone.
“A do-over from yesterday,” Meggie admitted, not going into detail and suspecting Roxy knew some, if not all, of what had transpired.
Pressing questions remained. Did Kendall know? Had Johnnie gone and confessed. Or had Mortician given her Meggie’s version?
Roxy slid onto the desk and allowed her booted legs to dangle. “Lying to Outlaw to save Johnnie’s life was a good thing.”
“Mortician told you everything, then,” she said, relieved she wouldn’t have to relive the nightmare by answering whatever questions Roxy might have. “Or does Kendall know the truth, too?”
“Kendall came to my house a little while ago and mentioned some of what happened. She’s very upset and worried about Johnnie. Since his ass hasn’t turned up missing and this happened yesterday, I went to Mort and got the full story after she left my house.” Roxy smiled at her. “You’re doing the right thing, baby.”
“Thank you,” Meggie said quietly. She placed her elbows on the desk and hung her head. “This has to be done, but I feel as if I’m being disloyal to my husband.”
“No, sugar. You’re doing what you have to do to protect him. By now, Johnnie’s dumb ass would be dead. Then, reality would set in for Outlaw, and he’d have a hard time reconciling the fact that he killed Johnnie.”
Meggie nodded.
Roxy leaned forward and tipped Meggie’s chin up. “How are you really doing, sugar?”
Sidling a glance at the door and not wanting to be overheard, Meggie lowered her lashes. “I was so scared,” she confessed on a whisper, thankful she had Roxy to talk to. “I thought he was going to kill me.”
“Oh, baby.” Roxy hopped from the desk and hugged Meggie.
She laid her head against Roxy’s stomach and held onto her, grateful for her motherly embrace. Roxy allowed Meggie to cry in misery, who didn’t speak again until long minutes later when her tears stopped.
“Mortician saved my life.” It had been mere coincidence that Meggie had called him to help her out. “I owe him so many bottles of skittle vodka.” Her eyes watered again.
“It’s okay to cry all day if you need to, sugar,” Roxy said gently. “I’m here for you.”
“I can’t…” She pursed her lips and swiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “If I dwell on it, I’ll slip up and Christopher will know the truth. Worse, I’ll panic, because I have to act normal around Johnnie and…and…I might…” Her voice trailed off. Start cutting myself again.
She’d gotten past self-harm because she was safe. She trusted no one would hurt her. Now, Johnnie had busted the protective bubble…the shield Christopher had placed around her. Johnnie had pushed all her triggers. At one time to counteract feeling powerless and helpless, she’d cut herself. Self-mutilation was her decision. In her control. She was still in control and did what she had to do to protect her husband.
Johnnie wouldn’t, couldn’t, do her anything more. She was safe.
A tremble went through her, and another, and another, until she was shaking like a leaf in a storm.
Roxy tightened her hold on Meggie. “Shhhh, it’s okay,” she soothed. “Johnnie wasn’t in his right mind. You know he’d never hurt you.”
She nodded. “I guess he’s stressed,” she said dully.
“He is,” Kendall agreed from the doorway.
“I know,” Meggie said sadly. “Are you okay, Kendall? I mean other than Christopher…?” Her voice trailed off and she covered her mouth to hold back another sob.
“I’m fine,” Kendall said quickly, rushing closer to Meggie and Roxy, and pausing. Hesitation crossed her features. “Can I hug you, Meggie?”
“Oh, Kendall! Of course,” she responded.
Roxy stepped aside, so Kendall could get closer to Meggie and hug her.
“This is what I like to s
ee,” Roxy said with pride. “My girls getting along.”
“Group hug?” Kendall requested.
The three of them linked arms.
“Let me see your neck,” Roxy said after a moment. She released Kendall and Meggie, and grabbed the scarf, unwrapping it before Meggie agreed to her request.
Once her neck was exposed, Kendall’s hands flew to her mouth and she stumbled back.
“That motherfucker!” Roxy snarled, bringing a trembling hand close to Meggie’s neck, then changing her mind and moving away. “Look at you.”
“Oh, Meggie!” Kendall wailed. “I’m so, so, so, so sorry. This is all my fault.”
“You didn’t make Johnnie do what he did,” Meggie said tiredly. “You aren’t responsible.” Christopher choking Kendall precipitated Johnnie’s actions. Glancing at Kendall’s neck, she saw a lot of the same marks that were on her neck. She winced. “Are you okay?”
“Outlaw didn’t do much to me,” Kendall got out.
“He shouldn’t have done anything at all to you,” Meggie said glumly.
Kendall heaved in a breath, then indicated her neck. “Most of these marks are self-inflicted.”
She’d put those ugly purple bruises on herself? Meggie squinted, studying the injuries. They were fingerprints, so what did Kendall mean? She couldn’t imagine Kendall strangling herself with enough force to leave that amount of discoloration.
Meggie had to be misunderstanding the statement.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Johnnie is just so stubborn,” Kendall cried. “I want…you know what I want.”
“Your job back,” Meggie told her.
“Yes.” Kendall sniffled. “I wanted his compliance so…so…oh my God! I’m so ashamed.”
“What did you do?” Meggie demanded.
“Oh, Meggie! I can’t…No! I can’t tell you.”
“Yes, the fuck you can,” Roxy said sharply. “Stop with the damn theatrics and confess.”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 439