“I thought I’d lost her.” Johnnie shuddered. “I didn’t know…a text message came through and I ignored it. She hasn’t invited me to a session with her psychiatrist. I don’t know what medicines she’s taking. I didn’t want to fall into her trap again.” Tears rushed to his eyes. “She left a suicide note. She said she was tired of being alone and frightened. She told me she wanted me to be happy with Emily…Emily! How did she even find out I’d been contemplating a relationship with her? Our relationship will never be the same. It will be forever compromised by my transgression.”
“Don’t think of that right now,” Knox told him, feeling such overwhelming guilt, he felt like sobbing. “She’s alive. That’s the most important thing.”
Johnnie nodded.
“I need to go see about Roxanne.”
“Yes, Knox, you do.” Johnnie glanced away, then met Knox’s gaze. “I’ll be forever indebted to her. She…Her mother’s instinct guided her to my wife. She truly loves and cares about Kendall. I’ll never question her advice or get annoyed over her interference. If not for her, Kendall would be dead.”
“Knox?” Roxanne called at the exact moment Charlotte’s voice cried, “Where’s Kendall? What have you filthy animals done to her?”
“Charlotte, please!” Brooks cried, haggard as always when he dealt with his wife.
“Get the fuck gone, Charlotte,” Roxanne demanded, her eyes fierce. “We don’t want your ass here.”
Charlotte drew herself up. “You can’t stop me. This is Portland, Ms. Doucette. Not Hortensia, where you people have the staff and board of Hortensia General on your payroll. I know board members here at Willow Bend.”
Johnnie inserted himself between Charlotte and Roxanne. “Leave, Charlotte,” he ordered. “The only thing you’ve ever done is confused Kendall. You’re no good for her. I don’t give a fuck who you know. Cross me and you’ll forfeit your right to breathe. I’ll show you a fucking filthy animal.”
Her hand flying to her chest, Charlotte gasped. “Are you threatening me?”
“No,” Johnnie said, his voice dripping ice. “I’m promising you. If I were you, I’d turn around, go back to your fucking house, and mind your own goddamn business.”
“But I love Kendall!” Charlotte wailed.
“Charlotte, dear, come on,” Brooks encouraged, clutching her shoulders and turning her away. “Johnnie is overwhelmed. Let’s leave him.”
“I just want to know if she’ll be okay,” Charlotte said in a pleading tone.
Brooks sighed and looked to Johnnie, who clamped his jaw, his look implacable.
On a sob, Charlotte turned.
“Kendall is going to survive,” Roxanne cut in.
Charlotte turned toward Roxanne. “She will?” she asked with hope.
Roxanne nodded. “I can’t stand your ass, but in your own fucked-up way, you do care about Kendall. Besides, she sees Brooks as a father, so even if you don’t deserve the courtesy of knowing her prognosis, he does.”
“Thank you, Roxanne!” Charlotte said.
“Fuck off,” Roxanne retorted. “You don’t mean that phony bullshit, so I’m not interested in hearing it.”
Her lips tightening, Charlotte scowled at Roxanne, then started off. “Come, Brooks.”
“Will you keep me up-to-date about Kendall?” Brooks asked.
“I’ll do it,” Knox said. He didn’t want Roxanne disturbed with minutiae.
“Thank you, Knox,” Brooks responded, then walked away, catching up to Charlotte down the hallway, in front of the bank of elevators.
“I’m going to Kendall,” Johnnie announced, then walked off, leaving Knox alone with Roxanne.
“Oh, Knox,” she said in a broken voice, running into his arms. “This has been one of the worst days of my life. I just knew something wasn’t right,” she said tearfully. “She was on a cold floor, all alone and dying.”
“She survived, sweetheart. That’s all that matters.”
“You’re right,” she whispered, holding onto him with all her might. After a moment, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Thank you for coming.”
Knox brushed her lips with his own. “Of course, sweetheart. I wouldn’t dream of you doing this without me at your side.”
She smiled through her tears. “I would’ve thought Outlaw and Meggie would be here by now. Bunny didn’t come, and Digger didn’t stay. Johnnie said Digger dropped him off downstairs, then sped off.” She sighed. “I know Outlaw is past done with Kendall. I guess Meggie finally had enough of her, too.”
Knox knew he’d have to tell her Megan was in the midst of her own crisis, but he’d wait until her emotions settled down from the shock of Kendall’s actions. For now, he’d leave the focus on Kendall, and pray Megan’s condition wasn’t too serious.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
Pacing in the private waiting room of Hortensia General, Christopher thought he’d lose his mind. The last he saw of Megan, she’d been seizing on the gurney, while the paramedics tried to stabilize her. Digger rushing Johnnie out and the ambulance arriving for Megan had been a sea of chaos.
Brothers had been shouting, kids had been crying, sirens wailing. Megan hadn’t been moving. She’d been pale and lifeless. Until she hadn’t been. He’d wanted to get to her, but Cash had held him back, insisting the paramedics would take care of her.
Christopher hadn’t seen Cash arrive, and he’d sworn he’d kill the motherfucker if he didn’t allow him to get to Megan. Cash hadn’t relented until they were wheeling her out.
Unlike when Megan had been shot, Christopher was able to sit in the passenger seat of the ambulance and accompany her to the hospital. He’d wanted to be in back with her, but had been told they needed the room to work on her.
Now, it seemed as if hours had passed. Doc Will had arrived not long after the ambulance did and said things weren’t looking good. Megan needed to deliver immediately if there was any hope to save her or the baby’s lives.
The words had made him reel back, as if he’d been kicked in the gut. All the planning he’d done to protect her had blown up in his face.
All the scheming to get rid of Kendall…he couldn’t finish the thought. He hadn’t completely converted to strict religious beliefs, but Megan and Roxanne had influenced him enough, for him to feel as if Megan’s state was the result of what he’d done to Kendall.
It no longer mattered if his actions had directly led to her overdose. For instance, if he’d told her she had to kill herself or he’d do it for her. Or if she’d one day discovered Johnnie giving a relationship with Emily any consideration and couldn’t live with that. Christopher would know he was responsible for whatever happened to Kendall because his plans had led to it.
It might’ve been anything, though—from her separation with Johnnie to her inability to handle her life to paranoia about feeling watched. None of it mattered. If he’d wanted Kendall dealt with for Megan’s kidnapping and for trying to punch CJ, Christopher should’ve handled the situation as he usually did in matters such as these—he should’ve shot the fuck out of her and been done with it.
That would’ve been justice. This was just drawn out torture that had given him satisfaction until he realized he’d reap what he’d sown.
Johnnie needed as many brothers by his side as possible. With Megan near death, however, Christopher wasn’t there. Since many of the members preferred her over Kendall, they were with Christopher, leaving Johnnie with a very few people at his side.
Along with Roxanne and Knox, Val, Zoann, Mortician, and Bailey were at the hospital with Johnnie, in support of Kendall. Cash, Digger, Slipper and his sons, Potter, Gabe, Bowlie, Boy, Danicka, Gypsy, and Derby had come to await word of Megan. Stretch had stayed behind to serve as protection for the children with Bunny and Diesel. What Christopher found odd was the fact that Krag, Webster, Pete, and Talbot hadn’t gone either place. They were Megan’s bodyguards, so Christopher thought they would’ve been amongst the first to arrive after the
ambulance. Or, if not, gone to check on Johnnie. Even if they didn’t like Kendall, Johnnie was still their brother.
“Mr. Caldwell?”
Doc Will’s tired voice reached Christopher. Turning, he saw Cam standing next to his wife. Although Knox was with Roxanne, at the hospital Kendall had been taken to, his best friend, Cam, had come here because that’s where his woman was going to be.
Christopher rushed to her. “Megan?” he demanded, not having it in him to inquire after his son.
“She’s out of surgery and in recovery, but it’s touch-and-go,” Doc Will said quietly. “She developed pre-eclampsia, which led to a placental abruption. We had to deliver the baby. He’s very, very premature, but he’s alive.”
He heard the pause at the end of her sentence, picked up on what she’d left off: for now.
“I-I can lose both of them?” he whispered, his entire world reeling.
She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m so sorry, Outlaw,” she told him, the first time she’d ever called him anything other than Mr. Caldwell. “I wish I had better news.”
“Christopher,” Fee said from behind him, the grief in her voice gutting him.
He couldn’t move. His muscles felt cemented. Blood roared in his ears and his heart skipped a beat, pounded in agony. He thought he might fall to his knees.
“When can we see her?” Gypsy asked. She was Derby’s old lady, who had become a very good friend to Megan.
“And the baby?” Danicka added.
“Mrs. Caldwell will be brought to ICU in a couple of hours,” Doc Will explained. “Baby Caldwell is in NICU. He can be viewed through the window when he’s stabilized.”
“How far along was she?” Gypsy inquired.
Doc Will sidled a glance to Christopher. “She was twenty-five weeks. The baby has at least a fifty-fifty chance of survival.”
“And my Megan?” Christopher said on a swallow. “Her chances?”
“She’s a strong young woman,” Doc Will said, not offering a direct answer, and then changing the subject altogether. “A nurse will come out and guide you to the NICU as soon as possible.”
“I know how to get there, Doc,” Christopher answered. He looked at his boots. “This ain’t the first time I gotta go see one of my kids there.”
Doc Will nodded. “Does anyone have any more questions?”
A thought occurred to Christopher. “You say Megan was twenty-five weeks?”
Again, wariness entered Doc Will’s eyes. Megan had probably told her about what might happen to Christopher’s doctor if he found out the motherfucker fucked over him.
“He already fuckin’ buried, doc,” Christopher admitted.
Doc Will groaned. “I take it Meggie doesn’t know?”
“No. Ain’t wanted her to feel guilty.”
“I understand,” she answered. “And, yes, Meggie was twenty-five weeks.”
“She gave our new boy a name?”
“No.”
“I gotta name she might like. Axel. As soon as she wake up, Ima see what she say.”
“That’s a lovely name,” Doc Will said with a smile. “I’m sure Meggie won’t mind if you name him. In the event…” She glanced away. “A name is always good for paperwork.”
In the event that Megan didn’t wake up and the baby died.
Once Doc Will kissed Cam, she left, promising she’d inform him immediately of any changes.
Opening her eyes, two things hit Kendall at once: she was alive and she was in a hospital room hooked up to an IV and monitors.
“Kendall?” Johnnie breathed.
At one time hearing his voice would’ve meant everything. Now, she just felt empty. Disappointed she hadn’t died. The text messages he’d sent to Emily had ripped Kendall’s heart out. She’d never, ever recover.
“Go away,” she said, her tears starting because she felt so broken.
Johnnie had sworn he wouldn’t break their vows and sleep with another woman. Not only had he lied, but he’d fucked the one woman who most hated Kendall and then he’d buoyed her confidence and told Emily she was better in bed than Kendall.
He’d sent Emily so many amazing texts, proclaiming her an exceptional mother-figure and cook. And friend. All the things Kendall never got right.
“Kendall, why would you try to take your life? Do you know what your death would’ve done to me?”
She wanted to hit him with a comeback, but she was just so tired. “I can’t bear…you’ve been with Emily,” she said, unable to stop her heartbroken sob. “If you hadn’t known who she was, I wouldn’t care. But you did. You made love to her, knowing her true identity.”
Confusion slid into Johnnie’s face. “I never touched Emily, other than one kiss,” he admitted.
“I saw the texts. Hundreds of them. It just…I can’t do this anymore, Johnnie.”
“If a divorce will make you happy—”
“Not divorce! Death!”
“Kendall, what texts do you mean?”
“All the ones you sent.” She repeated the several that stood out most in her memory. “I read them. She showed them to me.”
Johnnie studied her, then dug into his cut and pulled out his phone. “When did you see her?”
“The afternoon I overdosed.”
“A day and a half ago, then,” he commented, holding out the phone to her.
She shrugged, listless, ignoring his phone.
“Take it and read the messages between Emily and myself,” he ordered.
Not in the mood to argue, Kendall took the phone. The screen was locked, but she tested his old code, surprised to find it still worked. Finding the conversation with Emily was easy, since Johnnie didn’t send texts very often.
The texts Kendall read from Johnnie’s phone between him and Emily were vastly different than the texts Kendall had read on Emily’s phone. She’d been relentless in her pursuit of Johnnie, even apologizing to him for tormenting Kendall and swearing she’d grown out of such petty behavior. She’d begged to meet Rory, JJ, and Matilda. Wanted them to take their relationship farther, describing in graphic detail what she intended to do to him.
“Her messages are completely different, Johnnie.”
“Did she tell you I went to her place to kill her on your behalf?”
Eyes widening, Kendall’s gaze flew to his.
“When I discovered her real identity.”
Kendall set the phone on the bed. “You still went with her.”
“There’s no excuse for that, sweetheart.”
“There isn’t,” Kendall agreed, though his explanation soothed her hurt and turmoil.
“I kissed her once, just to see if I could ever be with her if you and I ever divorced. There was nothing there, Kendall. My heart belongs to you.”
She could hold onto bitterness and grudges or she could turn over a new leaf and forge a new chapter with Johnnie and their kids.
He sat in the chair near her bed and leaned forward. “I love you. Very much. I want our marriage to work. I realize we have a long road ahead of us. We need intensive counseling. We need parenting classes. You should take time off from being an attorney to see to your mental health.”
“The prospect of reclaiming my career didn’t excite me as much as I thought it would,” Kendall admitted. “It felt empty without you and the kids. Meggie…Roxy.”
“It was Roxanne who found you,” Johnnie said gruffly, taking her hand and kissing it. “She was so devastated.”
“Roxy found me?” Kendall whispered.
“You weren’t answering your phone and you didn’t show up to the fitting. She said she felt as if something was wrong.”
“She does love me,” Kendall said in awe, crying.
“I do, too,” Johnnie repeated. “Or is this it for us? Do you think we’d be better off apart?”
“I love you so much and I’ve been so lost without you.”
“But?”
“I’m not well inside.” She swiped at her tears. “And I
’m not Meggie.”
Johnnie got to his feet, bent and kissed her. “I don’t want you to be Megan,” he swore. “I’ve been so unworthy of you. I’ve wronged you in so many different ways.”
“No more than I’ve done to you,” she admitted.
Kissing her forehead again, Johnnie straightened and walked to the foot of the bed. “We both have to make changes. Real, true changes, not just words we blow out of our asses. I have made arrangements for you to be moved to an in-house mental facility.” He glanced away. “And I’m also thinking about going nomad once you’re released.”
“Nomad? Why?”
“I wouldn’t have ties to a particular chapter, but if I’m needed, I could be called upon. If I want to attend meetings, I could go wherever we happened to be that has a chapter. You don’t like club life.”
“I thought I didn’t like club life, but I missed our family so much. The weekly get-togethers. The way you guys nitpick at each other. The closeness. Their acceptance.”
“They won’t accept you back into the fold easily,” Johnnie warned. “You’re going to have to earn their trust.”
“I know.”
“You also have to cut ties with Charlotte,” Johnnie ordered.
Kendall frowned. “I do?”
“I can’t abide that bitch. She’s a terrible influence on you. Besides, she doesn’t like Roxanne.”
For the first time since she’d awakened, Kendall smiled. “Okay.”
He met her gaze. “We have a long road to go, Kendall, but I believe in us. We can get there and be stronger for it. If you do your part, I’ll do mine.”
She nodded.
“I’ve rehired Ella to look after the kids. She’s back at our house on the compound. You’re still barred from the grounds, but I’m going to talk to Christopher about that. When you’re released after your stay in the wellness facility, I’d like to bring you home.”
“How long will I have to stay?”
“That’s up to Dr. Briscow to determine, but normal stay time is about six months.”
“Suppose I feel better after three?”
Death Dwellers Motorcycle Club:: Fifteen Bad Boy Biker Books Page 509