by Linda Warren
Blake frowned. “Why so many times?”
“Because the only way to bring it all back is to talk about it, and the more you talk about it, the more you’ll remember.”
“Oh God,” Blake groaned. “I don’t want to remember.”
“I know it’s hard,” Lucas told him, “but it might bring back some fact that can help your case.”
At Blake’s silence, he added, “Just keep seeing Blair’s happy, smiling face… Imagine her dancing again.”
Blake nodded and got slowly to his feet, the thought of Blair’s happiness obviously working wonders with his attitude.
There was a tap at the door and Greg, his assistant, stepped in. Lucas introduced them and they left for the first round of questioning.
Lucas threw himself down in his chair and rubbed his face in a weary gesture. This case was going to be the hardest he’d ever tried. There were so many things working against Blake—the DNA evidence, Sam Logan’s attitude and Blake’s own guilt. He had to find a way to resolve all three. But through all of that, Blair was uppermost in his mind.
He was trying to remember what had happened last night. He recalled looking at her shining face and saying he wanted to kiss her. She’d caught her breath and he’d taken that as a sign of permission or agreement, but maybe it had been something else. Maybe she’d dreaded his touch, his kiss. Surely he would have known that. He was exhausted, but even in his tired state he wouldn’t have kissed her unless she’d wanted him to. Would he? No, he’d never done anything like that in his life and he knew that if she’d resisted he wouldn’t have touched her.
He shouldn’t even be in this position, he told himself. He knew her past, so he shouldn’t have been thinking about doing anything with Blair. Until a few days ago, she was just a woman who infuriated the hell out of him. Now she was a woman who intrigued him in so many ways—professionally and personally, and he was having a hard time separating the two.
CHAPTER TEN
LUCAS HEARD A KNOCK at the door and Blair poked her head around. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked.
He stood up. “Sure,” he replied, knowing he had to talk to her, too. He couldn’t get emotionally involved with her while working on Blake’s case. Too much was at stake and she would understand that. But how did he tell her? How did he explain last night? Easy, he told himself. Blair wasn’t a teenager, and she knew that something was happening between them. But did she? She was so naive when it came to relationships although that was strictly an assumption based on her past and what Blake had said. Hell, how did he handle this?
Tell the truth, even if it hurts—that was what Jacob had always told him. But how was he going to do that when he didn’t even know what the truth was? All he knew was that he had to apologize for last night, then he’d take it from there.
“I know you were surprised by Dad’s outburst,” she was saying, and Lucas glanced at her face. She had taken the chair Blake had vacated and her dark hair was up and he didn’t like it that way, but it didn’t keep the beauty of her eyes from shining through. Eyes that were filled with worry and pain. He knew Blair wasn’t focused on anything but her family and this tragic situation. Whatever had happened last night she’d either forgotten or chosen to ignore. He wasn’t happy with either of those possibilities. “But he’s terribly upset and emotions are running high.”
Lucas walked around the desk and sat on the corner facing her, trying to understand what she was really saying. “Are you excusing his rude behavior?” he asked.
She twisted her purse strap. “No, of course not, and I told him that if he ever did that again I’d never forgive him. Besides, he knows as well as I do that Evan could have gotten a court order to get Blake’s DNA. It would’ve taken longer, but the results would have been the same. Dad hates it that Blake is making this easy for Evan.”
“I don’t condone the way Sam talked to Blake. Blake is carrying enough guilt without Sam adding to it.” Blair didn’t say anything, merely sat there with her head bowed. “And I can’t help wondering if he treats you in the same manner.”
She raised her head, those blue eyes defensive. “Dad’s not a bad person. He just loves his kids too much.”
Lucas clasped one knee with both hands. “Cut the crap, Blair. If you can’t be honest with me, then we’re in big trouble.”
Blair looked down at her lap again. She had a difficult time talking about her childhood. It hadn’t been unhappy, just fraught with tension. How did she explain that to Lucas?
Seeing she was having a hard time, Lucas said, “I can guess at your childhood. As early as you can remember, you probably knew that the very best was expected of you because you were Sam Logan’s daughter. Being the stronger, more intelligent twin, you made sure you never disappointed your parents. Blake, on the other hand, probably found out at an early age that his sister outshined him in everything and, having a rebellious streak, he refused to give in to Sam’s wishes. I imagine there was a great deal of tension in your household, with you always protecting your brother and making excuses for Sam—like now.”
Her eyes met his. She wanted to deny what he’d said, but it was as near to the truth as he could get. “I’m not making excuses,” she muttered, conscious of how feeble that sounded.
“Oh, yes, you are,” he replied quickly. “Excuses for Sam and Blake. You’ve probably done that all your life. But now you have to let Blake tell Sam that he can’t treat him like a child. Blake has to stand up to him without your help.”
Lucas was right, but it was so hard to stop protecting Blake. It seemed to be second nature to her. “Why are we talking about this?” she asked shortly. “That’s not why I came in here.”
To avoid talking about other things, Blair—like you and me.
“Why did you come in here?”
Blair swallowed. “To ask if you’d also handle Dad’s case. You’d be the best lawyer to represent him since you’re familiar with everything.”
Lucas didn’t know why he resented her words, but he did. He swung his leg off the desk. “I am not your family’s salvation nor am I a miracle worker,” he said in a burst of temper.
Her eyes darkened. “I didn’t say you were.”
“Until a few days ago you hated my guts and now I’m expected…expected to redeem your family.”
Standing, she slipped the strap of her purse over her shoulder in a quick movement. “I’m sorry if I’m expecting too much of you.”
Oh God, she was hurt and he knew that tears weren’t far away. Don’t cry, Blair. I can’t stand it when you cry. The truth hit him square between the eyes—and not for the first time. His emotions were already involved and Blair controlled him with a glance, a look, a tear.
“Don’t do that,” he said more sharply than he’d intended.
She frowned. “What?”
“Don’t look at me like I’m the most important person in the world to you.”
You are, her heart answered. She wondered how that had happened—and so quickly. But as Lucas had said, he wasn’t her salvation. He was just an attorney she didn’t like all that much. And that was probably the biggest lie she’d ever told herself. At least she recognized it. For once.
A flustered look came over her face. “I’d better go before we get into an argument.”
“Now, that would be a first,” he said sarcastically.
She started for the door and he knew he couldn’t leave things like this. He was acting irrational again. But at the core of his disquiet was the fact that he might not be able to give her the miracle she wanted. That shook him. He wanted to help the Logan family—for her.
“Blair…”
She turned as the door burst open and a man charged in. He was of medium height with graying brown hair and grayish-green eyes. And he was angry—that was very clear from his red face to the veins bulging in his neck.
He pointed a finger at Lucas. “You won’t get Logan’s boy off. They’re going to put him away like they should�
�ve done sixteen years ago and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sam’s money can’t save him now.”
Joan stood behind the man and Lucas nodded to her and she got the message. She went to call the police.
A gasp left Blair’s throat and the man whirled in her direction. “You,” he shouted angrily. “You’re the reason my boy’s dead.”
Lucas jumped across his desk and got between Blair and the insane man. “Get out of my office or I’ll throw you out,” Lucas warned.
The man’s feverish eyes took in Lucas’s bigger frame. “You won’t get him off, Culver. You won’t,” he sneered as he disappeared through the door.
Lucas followed him to make sure he was gone.
“The police are on their way,” Joan whispered. “That was Lloyd Easton, Todd Easton’s father.”
“I figured,” Lucas muttered, and hurried back to Blair.
His heart constricted at the sight of her. Her face was white and she was trembling badly. She was locked in her own inner fear and he wasn’t sure how to reach her.
“Blair.” He touched her arm gently.
She jerked away. “No, don’t touch me,” she whimpered in a strangled voice that tied his heart into such a tight knot he could scarcely breathe. The man had opened a window into the past—a past she couldn’t deal with.
He was at a complete loss as to how to help her but he had to. He remembered when Miranda had been so afraid and how Jacob had always been able to calm her with his soothing voice. He and Blair didn’t have the bond that Jacob and Miranda had, but he was hoping against hope that his voice would reach her.
He bent to look directly into her dazed eyes. “Blair, it’s Lucas. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Blair, can you hear me? It’s Lucas.”
She felt a blow to her face, to her chest, to her stomach—the butt of the gun digging deeper and deeper into her flesh. The pain ripped through her body as real as it had been sixteen years ago. The wild grayish-green eyes were the same, as were the anger and rage, and all of it was centered on her. She couldn’t breathe and she felt herself sinking farther and farther into the abyss of oblivion where nothing could touch her ever again.
Then she heard it.
Blair. Blair. Blair.
Someone was calling her name in a loving, caring, reassuring way. She tried to shut her ears to the sound and let the fear control her—she was tired of fighting it—but the voice wouldn’t let her.
“Blair, look at me. Blair.” The voice became demanding, pulling her back. She didn’t want to go, but the voice was relentless.
“Blair. Blair.”
Against everything in her, she focused her eyes and stared into Lucas’s worried face.
“Lucas?” she whispered.
“Yes, yes, it’s me,” he answered gratefully, wanting to touch her, to hold her, but he knew she wasn’t ready.
“Todd’s father was here,” she said plaintively as the events came rushing back. “He has the same eyes, the same rage—and all of a sudden it all came back—the fear, the pain, the agony.” She reached down and grabbed her purse, which she had dropped on the floor. “I’ve got to go.” She didn’t know where, but she had to get away.
Without thinking, Lucas caught her arm and she didn’t pull away. She didn’t do anything but stare into his dark eyes, letting their warmth and comfort soothe her.
“You’re not going anywhere until Easton’s in custody,” he told her. “Here—” he led her to a chair “—sit until I can talk with the police, then I’ll take you home.”
“I’m fine now,” she protested.
“No, you’re not,” he replied. “So stay there and I’ll be right back.”
Blair sat staring off into space, wondering what had just happened to her. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, and for the first time she’d seen herself giving up—letting the fear claim her. If it hadn’t been for Lucas…. She shuddered, not wanting to think that after all these years the fear could still destroy her sanity. Oh God, would she ever be free?
Lucas met one of the policemen in Joan’s office. They had apprehended Easton in the lobby; they were going to take him to the station and let him cool off. The officer told Lucas there wasn’t a lot they could hold him on, and Lucas knew he was right. However, Lucas asked them to make it very plain that Easton was to stay away from Blair. The officer agreed.
Lucas made a quick decision. “Joan, I’ll be gone for the rest of the day.”
“Lucas,” Joan said irritably, “how can you even think such a thing with all this chaos? Remember, I’m supposed to be on vacation.”
“I know and I appreciate your helping out, but this is important and I know you’ll understand.”
She lifted an eyebrow, showing him that she didn’t understand at all, but it didn’t change Lucas’s mind.
“If anything comes up, either Derek or Brad can take care of it. We’re only dealing with preliminary issues right now, but if anything needs my attention you can reach me on my cell phone.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She accepted his decision with her usual good nature. “I suppose this has to do with Blair Logan?”
“It does,” he admitted, walking toward his office. Then he stopped. “When Greg finishes with Blake, could you get someone to drive him to his parents’ house?”
“And I could also do your laundry in my spare time,” she said with a touch of sarcasm.
“Come on, Joan,” he coaxed. “Do me this little favor.”
She shook her head. “Someday, Lucas, a woman is going to say no to you. Unfortunately it’s not me, so go and I’ll handle this bedlam.”
“You’re a doll,” he said with a grin.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She brushed him off.
He hurried back to his office, glancing at Blair to make sure she was still with him and not in that dark place where he couldn’t reach her. He patted his slacks, then shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.
“What are you looking for?” Blair asked, but she’d already guessed. He was searching for his keys again. Apparently, Lucas had a hard time keeping track of them.
“Keys,” he answered as he fished them out of his trousers. “Now, let’s get the hell out of here.”
“I can’t,” she objected. “I have to wait for Blake—to drive him back to my parents’ house.”
“Joan will make sure he gets a ride home,” he told her.
“Still…” She hesitated. “I need to be here for him.”
Lucas walked over to her. “Blair, listen to me. Blake doesn’t need a second mother and he doesn’t need a babysitter. He has to come to terms with his own life, his own problems, without pressure from anyone.”
She didn’t say anything, but she acknowledged that Lucas was right. She had to stop protecting Blake, and her father had to stop pressuring him. They had to let him make decisions on his own.
“You have to start thinking about yourself,” she heard Lucas say. “You wanted to get away and I’m offering you that opportunity.” He strolled to the side door and opened it. “You coming?”
She still sat in the chair unmoving, her emotions scattering in all directions, but one thing was very clear. She did want to get away—just for a little while—to clear her head. She needed that above everything else.
Without another thought, she stood up and followed Lucas out the door, down the hall to the elevators. They walked to the parking garage in silence. When they came to his blue Expedition, he pressed the button on his key ring to unlock the doors. Blair went around to the passenger side and got in. As she did, she noticed two children’s car seats in the back; they reminded her of the small bicycles she’d seen at his house. What did Lucas need children’s seats—or bicycles—for? She’d ask him later. She wasn’t in the mood for asking questions.
Lucas drove out of the garage and toward the highway. She didn’t know where they were going and she really didn’t care. She leaned her head against the headrest and let Lucas
take her away.
After a while, Lucas slowed down, and pulled into a McDonald’s. She glanced at him.
“We haven’t had lunch and I’m starving,” he said.
She never ate fast food, but she didn’t tell him that. She had a feeling Lucas ate anything he wanted without worry, and today she would try to do the same thing.
He ordered two Big Macs with fries and drinks, and soon they were on their way. Lucas exited the freeway onto a feeder road, then turned down a gravel road that led to a small pond hidden among tall oak tress. In early June, the place was peaceful and serene. Ducks and geese swam freely and an old man fished at one end. There were several park benches and picnic tables around the area.
“Time for lunch,” Lucas said, slipping out of his suit jacket and removing his tie. He threw them into the back seat, grabbed the bag of burgers and climbed out of the vehicle. Blair followed more slowly. Lucas sat at one end of a park bench and she sat at the other; he spread the food between them and handed her a burger. She accepted it although she doubted she could eat the food. But the tantalizing smell and her empty stomach persuaded her and she took a bite, then another. Before she knew it, she was dipping fries into ketchup and actually enjoying the treat. They ate without speaking. Soon Lucas wadded up the empty papers and carried them to one of the large trash cans. They held on to their drinks, and Blair was idly sipping hers, trying to keep the memories at bay.
Lucas settled beside her, gazing across the water, giving her time. He’d brought her here so she could talk. He felt she probably needed that more than anything. The silence grew.
“How did you find this place?” she finally asked.
“My dad used to bring my brother and me fishing here. Of course, I wasn’t interested in fishing, but my brother was. I was completely satisfied to lie under one of these big old oaks and read. I wasn’t much of an outdoor person back then.”