by Linda Warren
He refused to let the past haunt him any longer. He was his father’s son and, of course, he would have some of his qualities. He’d thought, after his death, that his father was selfish and unfeeling, but he wasn’t and neither was Lucas. He could see that now; he was going to stop being afraid to feel, to love—and to get hurt. He vowed to be himself. Just Lucas Culver. A man of his own making.
He was hurrying out the door when the phone rang. He almost didn’t answer but realized it could be Blair. It wasn’t. It was a friend letting him know that Jim Tenney had passed away. The news hit him hard. He knew Jim hadn’t been feeling well after the surgery, but he’d never dreamed it was this serious. He had to go to Stacey. He picked up the phone and called Blair. She was out; however, Blake said he’d give her the message.
Blair was devastated when she heard the news. Her plans for the evening seemed trivial compared to the tragedy of Jim’s death. It no longer mattered that she’d bought a special dress to wear, a black outfit that clung to her body and had a low bodice with tiny straps. She’d never worn anything like it in her life, but now her emotions were free, her fear was gone—all because of Lucas. This was supposed to be their night, although so many things were keeping them apart. She knew Lucas’s place tonight was with Jim’s wife.
Blair sent food and flowers to the Tenney house. She’d worked with Jim and liked him. She’d never met his wife or family, but her heart went out to them.
Lucas had told Blake that he’d try to make it later. By midnight Blair knew he wasn’t coming. When Roger offered to take her home, she accepted gratefully. Blake was driving her car and she didn’t want to take it away from him. However, she wanted to return to her apartment because she finally had her life back. She hoped Lucas would come by later; if he did and if the evening ended the way she planned, she wouldn’t need her car, anyway.
When Roger asked if he could come in, she couldn’t say no. He’d been so nice and he’d solved the harassment problem, and she didn’t want to be rude to him. Besides, she wanted to tell him one more time that they were friends and nothing more.
BY THE TIME Lucas left the Tenney house, it was after midnight. Stacey wanted to talk about Jim, their college days, the good times. Lucas knew it was what she needed. He couldn’t even imagine what it was like to lose a life partner at such an early age. But Stacey was a survivor and she’d manage.
When her parents arrived from Arizona, Lucas left, assuring Stacey he’d be back tomorrow. He headed straight for River Oaks. He was concerned when Blake told him that Roger had taken Blair home. He didn’t understand why she had to go to the apartment and why Roger had to take her. But he intended to find out.
All the way there, Lucas kept thinking about Roger and what he’d said about Easton. Something wasn’t right. The first message had been left after the Raye trial ended. Blake hadn’t even been arrested then. Still, Easton hated Sam Logan and he could’ve been watching and waiting for a chance to get even. That didn’t ring true, though. It wasn’t adding up.
When he drove through the entrance, Lucas noticed the same guard who’d been working the night those ugly words were scribbled on Blair’s door.
“Hi, Mr. Culver,” he said courteously. “Here to see Ms. Logan?”
“Yes, but could I ask you a question first?”
“Sure.” The guard gave a nonchalant shrug.
“The night the message was left on Ms. Logan’s door, did you see anyone suspicious?”
“The police already asked me that, and I told them everything I know.”
Lucas raised an eyebrow. “Everything?” There was an intonation in the guard’s voice when he said police that made Lucas think he was holding something back.
The guard sat in a booth with a bulletproof-glass window. The window had a small hole he talked through. The guard fidgeted with papers in front of him and avoided looking at Lucas.
“Ms. Logan’s life could be in danger,” Lucas said. “If you know anything, you have to tell me.”
The guard shrugged again. “I don’t. It’s just that—”
“What?” Lucas prompted.
The guard leaned closer to the window. “Well, that policeman came over about thirty minutes before you and Ms. Logan discovered it. He asked to see Ms. Logan, and I told him she wasn’t in. He wanted to wait for her, but I told him I couldn’t let him enter the complex. Another car drove up, and he parked to one side. When I looked over, his car was there, but he wasn’t. About fifteen minutes later, I saw him get in and drive away.”
Lucas’s pulse began to beat erratically. “Where did he go?”
The guard shook his head. “I don’t know. There’s no place to go. There’s nothing but brick walls around here.”
And shrubs, Lucas thought. Big shrubs he could hide behind—and then slip through the gate when no one was looking. But Lucas had to be sure.
“Which cop was it?”
“Big tall guy with blond hair and an attitude.”
Roger.
“Did you tell this to the police?”
“Hell, man, he is the police and he was doing the investigating.” He paused for a moment, obviously nervous. “The only reason I told you is that he’s with her now. He’s been there a long time. He usually stays a few minutes and then leaves. It’s late and I’m getting a little worried.”
It didn’t take Lucas more than a second to make up his mind. If he was wrong, he’d deal with it, but if he was right, it could mean Blair was in danger. “Call the police and ask for Tim Mayer.” Lucas knew Tim was Roger’s captain. “Tell him to get over here as quick as he can. Tell him it’s an emergency. Open the gate so I can drive through.”
“Sir, I can’t do that. I—”
“I’ll take full responsibility. Now open it and call the police.”
The guard must have sensed the urgency in Lucas’s voice because he pushed a button and the gate swung open.
Lucas hoped his emotions weren’t running away with him, but Roger’s behavior was sounding stranger and stranger. He’d take his chances, he decided, hoping he didn’t end up looking like the biggest fool that ever lived.
AS SOON AS THEY ENTERED the apartment, Blair turned to talk to Roger. She didn’t ask him to sit because she intended to keep this short.
Before she could find the words, Roger spoke, his eyes traveling over her in the tight-fitting black dress. “You look beautiful. I’ve never seen you dressed like this.”
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“I’d like to think it was for my benefit,” he went on. “Because you knew I’d be there tonight. But it wasn’t, was it, Blair?”
“Roger,” she appealed to him, his feverish gaze making her nervous.
“It was for him. It was for Lucas, wasn’t it?”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I—”
“All you ever do is hurt me.” He laughed cruelly. “I’m always there for you. I’ve protected you and busted my butt to solve this harassment thing. Now look at the thanks I get. You’re turning to someone else. Someone who’ll dump you when he gets tired of you.”
“Lucas isn’t like that,” she snapped, feeling bad that she’d hurt him but angry that he’d disparaged Lucas.
“Now you’re defending him.” He laughed again, and she backed toward the sofa. Roger was frightening her.
“Do you know that Lucas and Stacey Tenney were an item years ago? She was madly in love with him, but he dumped her and she fell into the arms of his best friend. Instead of being with you, he’s consoling her right now. Is that the type of man you want? Someone you can’t trust?”
“I think you’d better leave,” she said coolly. She knew that Lucas and Jim were friends, and if Lucas had once had a thing with Stacey, it was long in the past, something that had happened in his younger days. She knew Lucas and she trusted him.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he sneered, yanking off his tie and removing his jacket. “You owe me,” he said, advancing on her. “I’ve treated you w
ith kid gloves for years, just waiting for you to love me the way I love you.”
“Oh, Roger, I’m so sorry,” she cried.
But he didn’t seem to hear her. “I’m tired of being your lapdog and seeing someone else get all the stroking.” Before she could respond, he grabbed her around the waist and jerked her to him, his lips covering hers. Fear slammed into her stomach, and she refused to open her mouth. She strained to pull away. He smelled of whiskey and something she couldn’t define, but it made her feel sick and she started to struggle. He caught her by the back of her head. “Open your mouth,” he hissed.
Blair thought all the old fears would come back and paralyze her, but they didn’t. This was a new fear and she knew she had to fight for her sanity, her survival—not as a frightened teenager but as a grown woman who could handle her life. She twisted and turned, trying to break free; he was so much stronger, though. She felt a strap on her dress snap and she knew that tomorrow she’d have bruises. She managed to throw him off balance and they tumbled onto the sofa. His weight was suffocating and when he tried to cover her mouth again, she turned her head. His lips trailed down her neck to her breast and nausea churned in her stomach.
“I did everything for you,” he mumbled. “I put my job in jeopardy—everything.”
What was he talking about? His job in jeopardy? That didn’t make any sense. She had to do something fast.
“Roger, stop, please,” she begged, hoping her pleading voice would deter him. It didn’t. He slid a hand beneath her dress, caressing her thigh. She tried to think, but fear was fast consuming her.
Think. Think. Think.
Then it hit her. Her purse. The gun. She’d brought the bag in, so it had to be somewhere. She glanced on the floor and saw it several feet away. She didn’t know if she could reach it. She stretched out her arm and had to strain, but her forefinger touched it. Roger thought she was responding and groaned, a sickening sound. With her finger, she inched the purse closer and closer, then slipped her hand inside and gripped the gun. It was cold and heavy in her hand. She swallowed and brought the weapon to Roger’s neck and pressed it against him.
He felt the cold steel and jerked backward. She quickly scrambled from beneath his body and pointed the gun at him. She was trembling inside, but her hand was steady. Roger’s eyes dilated with something Blair understood—fear.
LUCAS DROVE UP beside Roger’s car and jumped out. He ran to the door and started to ring the doorbell, then tried the knob instead. The door was unlocked. He eased it open and stepped in. His heart stopped when he saw Blair holding the gun on Roger.
Her hair was disheveled and her dress was torn. She didn’t look afraid, though. She just looked upset.
Roger lay sprawled on the sofa, his clothes askew and his expression fierce. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out exactly what had been going on and a new rage filled Lucas. He wanted to beat Roger to within an inch of his life, but Blair held the gun and he knew she had control of the situation.
Roger sat up and straightened his clothes. “Well, Blair, your Prince Charming has arrived,” he said sarcastically.
A deep sense of relief swept through her when she saw Lucas. He was here and she had to tell him what had happened. “He attacked me,” she managed to say between gritted teeth.
Lucas clenched and unclenched his fists and had to forcibly suppress his anger. “What the hell’s the matter with you?” he yelled at Roger.
Roger clambered to his feet. “Stay out of this, Lucas. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Someone needs to knock some sense into you and—”
Their words washed over Blair. Something Roger had said kept niggling at her. “What did you mean when you said you put your job in jeopardy for me?”
“Nothing,” Roger muttered, and picked his tie up from the floor. Judging by the look on Roger’s face, Lucas knew he was guilty as sin.
“Tell her what you did,” Lucas said, knowing that now was the time to get everything out in the open.
“I didn’t do anything,” Roger spat.
“I don’t agree,” Lucas said matter-of-factly. “You see, I’ve been talking to the guard who was on duty the night the message was sprayed on Blair’s door. He said you were here earlier and disappeared while he was busy with other people.”
“He’s lying.”
“The Easton story doesn’t ring true because Blake wasn’t arrested until after the Raye trial. And that’s what Easton was angry about—angry that Sam Logan’s kid was going to get away scot-free.”
“What are you saying, Lucas?” Blair asked quietly, still gripping the gun, feeling a need for its security.
“I’m saying Roger wrote those messages—on your windshield and on your door.”
“Don’t believe him, Blair,” Roger said vehemently.
Blair stood completely still. She wasn’t breathing. She didn’t even think her heart was beating, but through the tortured stillness so many things became clear. She stared at Roger, seeing him as he was—a desperate, unstable man. “It’s true, isn’t it? You knew I’d call you. You knew I depended on you to… God, it’s true!”
The shattered look on her face told its own story.
Roger must have known he couldn’t lie anymore. “I did it because I love you,” he said defiantly.
“Love?” She gave a pitiful laugh. “And what you tried to do to me a while ago, what do you call that?”
“I had a little too much to drink, that’s all.”
Blair had reached her limit and didn’t know if she could take much more. But anger swiftly chased away that sense of fragility.
“How could you do this to me?” she asked in an agonized tone. “You knew the pain I went through over the attack! You knew how scared I was, how frightened I was of my own shadow, and you traded on that—you…” She raised the gun higher, both hands wrapped tightly around it.
“Put the gun down,” Roger begged.
“Why did you do it?” she asked coldly.
“Blair.”
“Why?” she screamed.
Roger took a step backward. “All right, all right.” He held up a hand. “When Raye hurled those words at you in court, I was worried about you. I went to your office and Lucas was there. Your hair was mussed up and you were looking at him the way I’d been waiting for you to look at me. It made me angry, so I wrote those words on your windshield. I knew you’d call. I wanted to show you that I was the only one who really cared for you.”
“Cared?” she shrieked, hardly able to believe what she was hearing.
“But you started turning to Lucas more and more. That wasn’t fair. I’d invested years in our relationship.” Resentment filled his voice. “I just wanted you to turn to me again. I’ve always been there for you and I wanted you to know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I wouldn’t, Blair. I wouldn’t.”
“Do you even realize how terrified those messages made me?” she asked.
Roger hung his head.
Blair’s hand tightened around the butt of the gun, her finger on the trigger. “You taught me how to use this gun so I could protect myself. You told me to concentrate, not to lose control, not to let my fear show. Well, Roger, I’m concentrating. I’m not losing control and I’m not afraid.” She took a step toward him. “But you should be. I can place a bullet right in the center of your heart. You know I can. You’ve seen me shoot.”
Roger lifted his head. “Blair, please.”
Lucas watched that glint in her eyes and saw that she was angry and hurt, but he could also see that she was in control. Just as she’d said….
“What’s the matter, Roger? Don’t you like being afraid?” Blair asked. “That’s how I’ve felt for the past few months. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t concentrate. I just kept waiting for someone to break into my car, my home, and beat me senseless again. And all the time, it was you. You were putting me through a nightmare because you loved me.”
“Blair, listen…” Rog
er backed away from the fire in her blue eyes.
“No, I’m not going to listen.”
Roger appealed to Lucas. “For God’s sake, man, make her stop.”
Lucas just shrugged.
Blair knew she wouldn’t shoot him. She just wanted him to feel fear the way she had so many times. Slowly she lowered the gun. “I never want to see you again, Roger—never.”
“Blair…”
Tim Mayer entered the room at that moment. Lucas quickly explained what had happened. Roger didn’t deny it and he didn’t try to fight. He was handcuffed and led away.
Blair sank down on the sofa and laid the gun on the coffee table. Lucas sat beside her.
Silence ensued, then Lucas asked, “Are you okay?”
She looked at him, tears sparkling in her eyes. “I’m fine. I’m better than I’ve been in a long time. That’s ironic, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” he said, remembering the time Easton had confronted her and she’d almost fallen apart. But she wasn’t falling apart now. She was fighting back and winning.
“I wasn’t afraid, Lucas. I wasn’t afraid.”
“Yes, I can see that. You actually had Roger shaking in his shoes.”
She frowned at him, her eyes dark and troubled. “How could he do that to me?”
“He’s sick and needs help,” was the only answer he could give her.
“Part of this is my fault,” she murmured sadly.
“What?”
“He was right. I always called him and I leaned on him when I was afraid and he—” She thrust both hands through her hair and held her head. “No, I won’t do this,” she said with renewed strength. “I’m not taking the blame for other people’s actions—not Roger’s, not Blake’s or my parents’. From now on I’m responsible for my own actions and no one else’s.” She inhaled deeply, then exhaled a long, shuddering breath.