His men looked at him in disbelief and then at me. “What was that about?” Tristan asked.
“Best not tease your former captain too much tonight,” I informed them quietly. “He’s in a foul mood.”
“You need anything from us?” Tristan asked softly.
I shook my head. “He will cool off soon. In the meantime, why don’t you boys update me on what I have missed since we were last here?”
The men told me story after story. I ate and drank while I listened to them and as the night turned to morning I still hadn’t heard everything new. As my eyelids grew heavy I realized that Finn had never come back to sit with me.
“Bernard!” I called since I couldn’t see him around all of the men.
He pushed his way through and crouched beside my chair. “Yes?”
“Where’s Finn?”
He looked down a moment and said, “He said he needed some time alone. Told me if you wanted to go to sleep that I could take you to the house.”
He’d left me alone? What could have made him so mad to leave me alone?
“Alright, I’m falling asleep in my chair,” I admitted to everyone. I stood up quickly and immediately regretted it. Apparently, I’d had a few too many drinks. “Whoa.”
Bernard picked me up and laughed. “I’ve got you.”
“To the house!” I ordered him loudly.
The men laughed at me and I waved to them as we exited the building. Once we were clear of the people near the tavern I asked, “Why is he so mad?”
Bernard shrugged. “I don’t know what happened. He wouldn’t tell me.”
If Finn had not told Bernard, then I wouldn’t tell him either.
“What do you know about his past?” I asked softly.
I knew that Cristoff had said all of that on purpose. He wanted to drive a wedge between us or make me doubt Finn. Or perhaps even make Finn doubt himself. Yet I still had to know what he was talking about. We hadn’t really discussed his past much and I wanted to know everything about Finn.
“He’s had a strange life, Tilia. It’s not my place to divulge the Captain’s story. Plus, there are many things I do not know myself.”
He was dodging the question, but it was better that I learned the entire truth from Finn anyway.
“My dad and Sedgwick never came to see me,” I realized with shock.
“Rocco’s mighty busy these days,” Bernard told me. “I’m sure he was working until he fell asleep and he’ll be sorry to have missed spending time with you when he wakes up tomorrow.”
It was unlike him to not even send a messenger to let me know that he wasn’t coming or that he would be delayed.
I looked up at the stars overhead and wondered why Cristoff had acted the way he had. His harmless flirtations were one thing, but this was unlike him. Or so I had thought. I had to admit to myself that I hardly knew him.
“Here we are,” Bernard said as he opened the door to the small house that Finn had built. Bernard deposited me onto the bed and pulled a few blankets up to cover me. “You going to be okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. Thanks, Bernard.”
“You’re welcome, Princess.”
“If you see my dad will you let him know I went to bed?” I requested.
“Will do,” he assured me and left, shutting the front door behind him.
It wasn’t much later when I felt someone slide into bed beside me. I rolled over and smiled at Finn. “Hi.”
He brushed his lips across mine and pulled me closer so that he could wrap his arms all the way around me. “I love you, Tilia.”
“I love you too, Finn.”
He exhaled and relaxed further. I didn’t know if I should say something to him or ask where he went, or if I should just leave him alone. I decided on leaving him alone and allowed myself to fall asleep.
Finn woke me up the next morning with a plate of food in his hands.
“How long have you been awake?” I asked him as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. You didn’t notice when I got out of bed, so I figured you were tired and needed to sleep. So, I went and cooked you some food.”
I ate a few bites of the eggs he had brought and then asked, “Are you ready to talk today?”
He clenched his jaw and then nodded. “Yes, it is time that I told you everything, even if I had hoped never to discuss this.”
I finished my food and set the plate on the side table. Finn adjusted himself on the bed and took a deep breath. My heart rate increased as I prepared to hear what he had to say, not knowing what I was in for.
“Where I’m from, magic is part of our everyday lives. Everyone has magic there, not like here where some don’t have it. Our speed is not magic because we are all descendents of the God of the Sea and we are all born with the ability. No one leaves. No one can leave. The ruler there is a tyrant. He forbids anyone from leaving the land, makes his people create whatever he wants, not what we need. He has no queen and instead chooses to have a harem of women. These women don’t choose this life. He takes whomever he wants, even if they are already married or engaged. He doesn’t care. If he sees a woman that he wants, she becomes his. There have been rebellions, but he quickly stamps them out. His soldiers are brain washed into believing that he is the rightful ruler and that he is the reason the land is prosperous. They think that he is our God’s chosen one.
“He doesn’t allow his harem to conceive children because he believes that the children would try to rise up against him. He requires the women to drink a special potion to ensure that they remain sterile. Once he decides a woman is too old for him, or grows tired of her, he gives her to his soldiers. When I was six years old, he took a girl from our town. She wasn’t more than twelve and her parents fought against him. My father was one of his soldiers and I watched as he slaughtered the parents of this girl without so much as an ounce of remorse. I decided then that I would leave that place. I didn’t care how or where I ended up. Anything would be better than there.”
He paused and rubbed his temples. I sat still, letting him collect himself so that he could continue. So much already explained why he would want to leave and join the pirates.
“The day I was set to escape, one of my sisters was outside with me and the King saw her. He tried to take her and I fought back. My own father came and tried to stop me! He didn’t care that the King was taking his daughter. He didn’t care what would happen to her. I refused to let it happen to her. I killed my father and gravely wounded the King, but not before the King killed my sister. I ran while the King was down and I never went back.”
Now I was confused. Why did this make him a bad person? Why would Cristoff think that I would view him differently? He tried to protect his sister. That wasn’t a bad thing.
“Finn,” I whispered, “I am so glad that you escaped.”
He looked up at me in disbelief. “You don’t think I’m terrible?”
“You tried to save your sister. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I got her killed.”
“It was better that she died while you tried to protect her than living a life being raped by a man that she hated.”
“I killed my father.”
“Do you really think that you shouldn’t have killed him? Do you think there was a way around that?”
He shook his head. “I wish there had been.”
I hugged him and kissed his cheek. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of your past. Anyone would agree that what you did was right. Do you think Jared would have acted differently than you?”
“I should have stayed and killed the King.”
“His soldiers would have killed you. If they were as blind as you say, there was no hope for them.”
He hugged me and whispered, “You have no idea how glad I am that you don’t think I’m a terrible person.”
“I honestly do not understand why Cristoff would think that I would think differently of you for this. If anything, it just
proves how good of a man you are.”
“You truly are amazing,” he whispered, “and Cristoff was right about one thing. You are too good for me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re perfect for me.”
Someone knocked on the door three times rapidly. Finn and I looked at each other a moment and then he leapt up and opened it.
Bernard looked at me and said, “It’s your father.”
I was instantly glad that I had slept in my clothes and shoes as I ran out after him. “What happened?”
“I’m not completely sure. I heard he fell in the warehouse and some boxes fell on top of him, but others are saying it’s his heart. I don’t know.”
“Where’s he at?” Finn asked Bernard.
“His office,” he answered.
Finn scooped me up and the wind pressed against me as he ran to the office and inside. Everyone spun around at our sudden appearance, but once they saw who it was, they all turned back to watch as Sedgwick worked on Dad.
I walked forward and stood next to them. Dad’s face was pale and he looked like he was barely breathing. Blood had pooled on the ground beneath his desk where he was lying.
“What happened?” I asked Sedgwick quietly.
“Heart attack and then he got buried by boxes,” he replied without taking his hands off of Dad and using his magic.
“Will he be alright?”
“I’m trying, Tilia. I can heal most of him, but I don’t know if I can repair his heart.”
I bit my lip to keep from crying and Finn pulled me into his arms. The room was beginning to fill up and while we normally would have run everyone out, nobody bothered. We stood in tense silence as Sedgwick worked and hoped for the best.
Faxon! Faxon could heal him. I reached towards my right ring finger and frowned. What was I doing? I couldn’t contact him. What was wrong with me?
“Finn,” I whispered since it felt like we shouldn’t talk loudly. “Can you get Faxon?” He was fast, but I didn’t know how long it would take him to get to Faxon. I knew Faxon could teleport once he was with him.
Finn kissed the top of my head and disappeared.
“Where is he going?” Cristoff asked me.
“To get Faxon,” I answered without taking my eyes off Dad.
How could this have happened? He wasn’t that old. He should be healthy.
Time passed slowly, like walking through mud. I sat down in a nearby chair and gripped the arms.
Dad’s body began shaking and Sedgwick growled.
Faxon appeared beside me with Finn and immediately walked to Sedgwick. “Prognosis?”
“Heart attack, crushed by boxes. I’ve been healing his body, but I don’t know anything about the heart,” Sedgwick admitted to him.
“Finn,” Faxon ordered, “take Tilia out of here.”
“No, I want to stay and…”
Finn took my arm and pulled me up. “Come on. Faxon will take care of your dad.”
I obeyed only because I knew he was right. If Faxon couldn’t save him, there was nothing more for us to do. We walked outside and I kicked a rock as hard as I could. “Ah!” I yelled. “I hate being helpless!”
“We’re all helpless here,” Finn told me.
I stomped around. I needed to move or I would explode. “I could have learned healing though. I could have been as good of a healer as Faxon. I should have listened to you. I shouldn’t have thought I was strong enough to defeat Marquez.”
“You did defeat him,” Finn reminded me.
“I should have listened and I didn’t. I was too focused on keeping you out of harm’s way.”
Finn stopped walking and looked at me in shock. “What?”
“I knew that you would volunteer to do it because of your speed. I couldn’t let him hurt you. I would rather lose my power a thousand times than have you killed,” I admitted to him.
“Tilia,” he whispered, “I can’t believe…”
“I knew the possibilities when I volunteered. But here I am, still complaining. I saved everyone and I know I should be happy for it, but I’m not. I lost my most valuable asset.”
“While your magic is impressive, your fighting skill is definitely your most valuable asset,” Finn assured me.
“I’m a selfish woman and I can’t stand myself. I need to find the person who is responsible for building these devices and kill them.”
“We will,” he promised.
“Are you sure that you won’t reconsider staying here while Faxon and I go to Judby?” I asked him.
“No. I am going and nothing you say will change my mind on that.”
“If something happens to you…”
He gripped my chin lightly and met my eyes. “Tilia, we are better together. If something happens to you and I am not there, how do you think I will feel? We can accomplish so much more if we stay together.”
He was right. I knew it. And yet I wanted him to stay behind. To stay safe.
“Would you like to spar? It might take your mind off things while Faxon helps your father?” Finn asked softly.
I nodded my head. Fighting was a good idea and Finn was fast enough that I knew I wouldn’t be able to hurt him. He led me to the arena that they used for fighting and unbuckled his belt with his sword and tossed it aside.
“Hand to hand,” he told me. “You’ve been slacking on it and you need to step up your game to make sure that, if you’re disarmed, you can still protect yourself.”
I set the Dragon’s Tooth on the ground beside his sword and faced him. “Don’t let me hurt you,” I ordered him.
He nodded his head and held his fists up. I released the pain I had felt since losing my magic, the anger at myself for being naïve and stupid, the fear over it all. I released it all and let my body act on instinct. Life moved on whether I wanted it to or not. I couldn’t dwell on things. No matter what I wanted or what I thought that I should have done, none of it mattered to the rest of the world. The bastard who was creating and selling the devices was still doing it. The people who were purchasing and using these devices were still out there. I had to cleanse myself of my failures. I had to cleanse myself of the feelings and regret. I had to focus on what lay ahead and what I needed to do. I couldn’t become a good queen if I dwelled on the past. Like Esmeralda had said, “There are some things that are just meant to stay in the past”.
Finn blocked all of my attacks, but I felt the fractured pieces of my life, of my soul, sealing together again. I wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t necessarily good, but I was me. I had to be the best me that I could be. I had to be the best soon to be wife for Finn. I had to be the best princess for Crilan. I had to be the best that I could to ensure the safety of my family and my people.
I gasped for breath and held up a hand to Finn. “Break,” I begged.
He nodded his head, disappeared and then returned with water. “Here.”
I drank the water greedily and took deep breaths.
“How do you feel?” he asked me.
“Better,” I admitted.
“Tilia,” Faxon called from outside the arena, “your father is asking for you.”
I jogged out of the arena and followed Faxon into the office. Dad lay on the table; his skin wasn’t as flushed as it had been. He smiled weakly at me. “My girl, there you are.”
“I’m here,” I said and took his giant hand with both of mine. Somehow, the size of his hands hadn’t seemed to change as I grew older.
“He’s going to live,” Faxon informed me. “But he’s going to have to take it easy. His heart isn’t as strong as it used to be and he can’t pretend to be a young man anymore.”
“It’s terrible getting old,” Dad complained.
“He’s going to be on bed rest for a week minimum and after that he’s going to have to use a wheelchair to get around. The heart attack has weakened him,” Faxon explained.
“But he’s going to live?” I asked.
“Yes, he will live,” Faxon said and rested his hand o
n my shoulder.
“Men, let’s go. We’ve got to take the Captain to his house,” Sedgwick ordered.
Several of the men gathered to carry Dad. Faxon and I moved out of the way to give them enough room. Dad wasn’t a small man, and it was no easy task taking him to his house at the other end of town.
Faxon waited until they had all left before wiping a stray tear. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more,” he said, “but there are some things that even mages cannot heal.”
I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. You saved him.”
He hugged me back and whispered, “Of course. I only wish I could have done more.”
“You’ve done your best,” I countered. “That’s all that I can ask of you. You didn’t even have to come.”
“Of course I did,” he snapped. “I told you that I would do almost anything for you.”
“You do too much for me,” I whispered back.
“If I had to save your life every day until my last breath, it wouldn’t be too much. You saved me and saved my magic. It only seems fair that I would use my magic for you in any way possible.”
“Are you going to go back now?” I asked him instead of commenting on his statement. It seemed insane to me that he was so devoted to me when two years ago, he didn’t even speak to me.
“Yes, but if you need me just…” he paused and then added, “just have Finn get me.”
“Thank you again,” I said as I stepped back.
“Stop it. No more thanking me for doing what I should be doing. Now, go find someplace to relax and take your mind off of everything,” he ordered me.
“Yes, sir.”
He smiled and then disappeared.
Finn was waiting outside for me and asked, “Did Faxon leave?”
I nodded. “He went back home. Thank you, Finn. If you hadn’t gotten Faxon, Dad might not have survived.”
He kissed my cheek and led me towards the tavern. “Faxon told me that he wants to leave for Judby in a few days. Are you up to leaving so soon?”
I wanted to stay with my dad, but he was likely to refuse to be mothered. Plus, he had plenty of people here to worry over him. “Sure,” I said. “The sooner we find the person making these devices, the better for the world.”
Princess Triumvirate (Pirate Princess, # 2) Page 6