“It’s OK,” he assured me. “I understand. I didn’t expect anything at all. I was just reacting to how I felt. I’m sorry I got in your panties. I just want you so bad right now. I wish I could remember that time when…”
“Stop.” I pushed him away, not wanting anything else to happen between us. “No. No more, OK?” Then I got off the bed.
“I’m sorry. Whatever you want, baby.” He sat up. “How far did we get last night? I know I was drunk. Was I too aggressive or something? I just feel like you’re upset with me.”
I turned away from him. I knew he was feeling what I did towards myself. He really only did what I let him. I was angry with myself for wanting him so much. But I guess I couldn’t help how I felt.
I explained, “I’m not upset with you. Last night was fine. You touched a lot of me.”
“I wish I could remember.” He put a hand on his head. “Why am I always plastered when you take your clothes off? Will you let me look at you again?”
I looked back at him. “I can’t do anything else today, please.”
“OK. Again, I’m sorry.” He got up, grabbed my clothes off the floor and handed them to me.
I sighed and tossed out my blouse.
“What’s wrong with your shirt?”
“It accidentally got ripped.”
“Oh.” Then he took off his shirt.
My mouth opened a bit. I loved his biceps. I watched him stretch a little. Then I turned away from him, needing to quell my urges. But damn he looked good.
“I have to go home,” I said as I walked towards his door. “I got a paper due on Monday.”
Suddenly, Chad’s arms were around me from behind. “My baby girl, this was the best birthday I ever got. I’ll never forget waking up to you in my arms. I love you so much.” Then he kissed my cheek.
“You’re welcome, it was nice.” I admitted.
He hugged me a bit tighter. “Let me get pants on and I’ll take you home.”
CHAPTER THREE
The week before graduation, Chad and I moved back home to live until we were able to get jobs. That Saturday night, Derek and I, who I had continued to date, had a huge fight over Chad and I spending so much time together. I left him in the middle of our date. I could not put up with jealousy.
When I got home, I saw Chad sitting on his porch. Before going in my house, I went to see if he was OK. “Chad, what’s wrong?”
He looked up at me. “You,” was his angry reply.
“What do you mean me?”
He closed his eyes. “I can’t handle you and Derek. Can’t you go out with somebody I don’t know? Every time I see him, it kills me.”
I decided to lift his spirits a bit. “We had a fight over you tonight.”
“Really? Did you break up?”
“I don’t know. I just left him at the movie theater. He can’t handle us either.”
“Baby, it’s gonna take a special guy to get what we got,” he explained. “I couldn’t deal with it, either.”
I smiled then picked up his hand. “Let’s go somewhere and forget about him for a while.”
“So that’s how it is?”
I turned around. Derek was leaning on his car in front of Chad’s house. “What are you talking about?”
“We have a fight and you turn to him. That’s why I was pissed off. It’s always, Chad, Chad, Chad!” Derek shouted. “So, were you guys about to go fuck? I see the way he looks at you. A guy can’t be just friends with a girl.”
I was so angry by then, I yelled, “You know what. I don’t need this. If you don’t like me having Chad for a best friend, then we’re through!”
Derek looked surprised. “Fine, don’t expect me to take you back when you calm down.”
“Ha! Fat chance that’ll happen!” I yelled. I hated when guys couldn’t handle my relationship with Chad.
Derek got in his car and took off fast. I was glad he did, but tears were threatening to come anyway. Chad pulled me into his arms as soon as I started to cry. I had really liked Derek, so I was upset it was over. I put my head on Chad’s shoulder and clung to him.
He held me close and rubbed my back. “It’s OK, baby. You’ll find someone else. Someone who’ll be OK with me and you being so close. He’s out there. I promise you.”
When I felt a little better, Chad lifted my chin. “Let me take you somewhere that always makes you feel better.”
I nodded. Then he took me by the hand and helped me into his van. I still felt sad and hurt. I wished Derek was more like Chad. Then I realized that was a weird thought.
Chad drove for a long time. I didn’t pay attention to the signs. After a while, I got curious. “Where we were going?”
“You’ll see.”
After more than an hour of driving, Chad finally parked. It was pitch-black outside the van. I was sure I had been to the place before, but was disoriented in the dark. Chad walked to my side and smiled at me as he helped me out. I was starting to feel better already, just from the way he was treating me.
As we walked into the darkness, I started to feel a little anxious. I did not like the dark. Chad knew it, held my hand tighter and said, “We’re almost there. I’m right here.” I relaxed with his words. He almost always knew just what to say.
He suddenly stopped. “Hang on, baby.” Then he lifted me up.
When he put me down, the ground felt uneven. I grabbed him quickly, feeling like I was going to fall. Then I realized we were in sand. He had brought me to the beach. A place we both loved.
“Surprised, baby?” he asked, holding me close.
I looked up, but couldn’t see his face. “Yeah, it’s perfect.”
We took off our shoes and walked hand in hand towards the sound of the crashing surf. Before we got to the water, we sat down. Then I looked to the sky. The stars were amazing. Where we lived, there were a lot of lights, so seeing that many stars was impossible. It was like a blanket of tiny lights.
I lay back. “Wow.”
“How do you feel now, baby?” he asked as he lay next to me.
I sighed. “Why was I upset?”
“That’s my girl.”
We looked for constellations, but neither one of us knew many of them. We did our best. Chad made up a few, which made me laugh. It was more fun because I was with him.
Suddenly, Chad said, “I dare you to jump in naked.”
“I don’t think so.” He was so bad.
“Well, I tried. How about in your underwear?”
He knew I loved the ocean. It wasn’t just the sound of the waves or the smell of the sea. It was everything. It made me feel alive. I stood up without replying and stripped down to my panties and bra.
I heard Chad take his clothes off, but I could barely see him in the faint moonlight that shone through the scattered clouds. Soon, I saw the faint beam of the small flashlight he kept on his keychain. He was so resourceful. At least we didn’t have to worry about finding our clothes again.
Next, Chad took me by the hand again and tugged me to the water. I squealed a bit as we strode into the ocean. It was pretty cold. The north Atlantic didn't normally warm up until the end of July or so.
Chad did not let go of me for a second. When the water was almost up to my chest, Chad stopped and took me into his arms. We just stood there, letting the waves move us around a bit.
I lay my head on his bare chest. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he responded, running his hands over my back.
I sighed. “For taking me here and helping me forget.”
“Baby, I know you take relationships seriously,” he told me. “Otherwise, we would’ve had sex a while ago. I understand why you won’t sleep with me. And you’re right. You shouldn’t do it unless it feels right. Please don’t change. I love that about you. If you can’t give your all to something, you don’t bother. I know you really cared about Derek, but you need someone who gets that I’ll always be in your life and I’ll always love you.”
I p
ut my arms around him. “What if I never find someone like that?” There was no answer to that and I knew it.
Chad responded by kissing me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, needing to feel secure. He gave me his tongue and then we were holding each other even closer.
I loved his tongue in my mouth and I loved using mine to turn him on. I could feel it starting already. Our breathing was getting faster as we ran our hands over each others’ backs. When his hand cupped my breast, I slid mine over his backside, under his underwear. I had never done that before, but I wanted him so badly.
I didn’t protest when he popped the clasp of my bra. His hands quickly covered my breasts and he used his thumbs to massage my nipples while I moaned with desire.
“I love these,” he said to me.
He lifted me up. My breasts were against his skin and it felt so good. Then he shifted my body so his huge stiff cock pressed against where I desperately needed him to put it. I thought about asking him to slip it into me, so I could feel better. But we had no condom and I was so emotional, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted him to.
“Baby, I need you so bad. Please, let me. I know you want me. I can feel it.” He bent his head down to me and kissed me strongly.
I couldn’t talk to him. I didn’t want him to know the truth, but I was sure he did. I needed him, desperately. I wished he would just do it already. His hands were clutching my thighs, holding me up. Then I felt one of his hands slide up my leg. I held myself up as I clung to his neck.
“I love you,” he said.
His fingers were soon under my panties. “Oh!” I cried when he pushed two fingers into my pussy. “Chad… God I want you… Ohhh…” It felt so good. His fingers moved faster. “Please… oh God… oh shit!” Then I pressed my body against him tightly as I spasmed within. “Oh, Chad!” I cried out.
“I’ve always wanted to make you cum.” He didn’t know he had done it before.
I was breathless and shocked at how quickly he made me orgasm. “Fuck me, please,” I begged him.
He shifted my body and then I felt his rigid cock against my thigh. He stretched out the bottom of my underwear and rubbed the head of his dick against me. I felt like I was going to burst. I wanted it in me so badly. He pressed the tip into me just a little.
Then he suddenly yelled, “Shit!” I looked up at him, trying to see his expression. “I don’t have any condoms in the car. We can’t take that chance. I’m sorry I took it this far without being prepared for it.”
Then we held each other as he slid his cock against my clit a few times. It felt real good, but made me want him even more. I wished I was on birth control pills so we could just do it, but they made me dangerously sick.
By the time we got home, I had forgotten about Derek. Chad was the only man in my head. We decided not to try and continue what was started because one of our parents could catch us.
I couldn’t let go of how much I yearned for him, even as I got in my bed. I looked out my window and could see Chad undressing in his room. As his T-shirt went up, I admired his tight abs. He flexed his biceps after throwing the shirt in a hamper across the room and I sighed, wanting to feel his arms. Then I smiled at his legs as his jeans went down.
I wondered if he watched me too. I rarely changed in view of the window, but he had to be able to see me sometimes. Chad did it all the time. I expected Chad to get in bed, but he didn’t.
I held my breath when his boxers came off. He obviously still wanted me. Wow, his cock was even bigger than I thought it would be. I bit my lip as he lay on his bed and started to masturbate. Watching his hand slide up and down that long shaft, turned me on so much more than I thought it would.
I wished I could go over there and help him with it. Then I started to imagine what it would be like if we had gone all the way that night. I wondered what a cock that size would feel like. I hoped he could live up to my fantasies. Would he make me scream out his name, like in my dreams?
Then I looked back at Chad and sighed. I was able to just catch him ejaculating. I liked seeing his semen flow out of him. The look on his face as he came made me close me eyes with need. I had to find a way to let go of the fear I had of losing our friendship so I could sleep with him already.
CHAPTER FOUR
Chad and I went to a pool hall one night in July. He had taught me how to play. No matter what we did together, we had fun, but pool seemed to be something special for us.
School had ended almost two months before. We had all gotten jobs and moved out of our parents’ homes by then. Giovanni was a motorcycle mechanic, and I was working as a waitress.
Chad had gotten a job as a computer programmer at a small firm. He also maintained all their hardware. He was on call 24 hours a day. I didn’t agree with his decision, but he felt it was worth the big paycheck he got every two weeks.
“Baby, how did you get tonight off from work?” Chad asked as he chalked the pool cue.
I looked over at him. “We were supposed to play at Charlie’s, remember?” Charlie’s was a local pub within walking distance of the house he had bought.
“Oh, yeah, but that was cancelled Thursday. Why didn’t you let your boss know?”
I sighed. I couldn’t tell him I just wanted to be with him. “They had already replaced me.”
“I just got a text from the place we played last night,” he said as he looked at his phone. “They want us to come back next month, but only if you hang out by the bar again. You attracted a lot of attention last night.”
I got attention at every gig we booked. My short skirts and low cut tops helped that along. Guys loved looking down my blouse and since I was short, that was easy. Chad and Giovanni did not like it, though.
“Shit!” Chad exclaimed.
I looked up at him again as I finished sinking the seven ball. He was reading something on his phone. “Please tell me you don’t have to go in again.”
“Maybe,” he answered.
I looked at the table and saw that my next shot was blocked by one of Chad’s balls. I didn’t know how to make the cue ball jump, yet. Chad suddenly got behind me and put his hands over mine. He had leaned down so much his hips were against my bottom.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked him, with a small smile.
He whispered in my ear, “You liked it when I was teaching you this way, months ago.”
“I know how to play now,” I replied.
I really enjoyed when he touched me like that. It was similar to when we danced, feeling his hard dick against me made me want him. I still had not been able to let myself go enough to sleep with him, so tension built in me quickly.
He got a bit closer to me. “So tell me to stop, then.”
“Chad…”
He said, “Yes, baby?”
“I…” I tried to control the desire in me, but it was so strong that it was evident in my voice.
He kissed the back of my neck. “You want me, baby. Don’t you?”
He slowly moved his hips over me, pushing his rigid cock against my ass. I clenched my teeth and held in a moan.
“Did you like that, too?” Chad softly inquired.
I closed my eyes, not wanting him to know I did. “Chad, can we just play?”
He sighed. “OK, just let me show how to do this.” We made the shot together and then he won on his next turn.
Chad re-racked the balls, then blurted out. “I’m hungry, so this is the last game. I wanna make a bet, though. If you win, I’ll massage your feet every day for a week. But if you lose, we get matching tattoos on our right shoulders of a spiderweb.”
I laughed. “You could’ve just asked me to do that. I’d do it for you.”
“I know,” he replied. “But I also know you hate needles and if you lost a bet, it would be easier to do.”
My eyebrows lifted. “You think I’m gonna lose? You’re on!”
I went home with Chad after we got the tattoos. Chad’s rented house had three bedrooms with a garage. I had
loved helping him choose furniture for it. He made me feel like it was my place too. I had stayed over several times before and kept some things there. I loved sleeping in his arms.
When we got there, we were a bit too wired to sleep, so we sat on the couch with a pair of acoustic guitars. At first, we were just playing Triple Threat songs.
Then when Chad got up to get a drink, I started messing around with his guitar. Using only the top four strings, like my bass, suddenly the random notes took on a life of their own. I played the same sequence a few times then added more to it, until I had a one minute solo written.
“Holy crap, baby. I like that.” He grabbed his guitar and slid his fingers over the frets without strumming. “The end of that would be perfect for this.”
Then I stopped and he started playing a series of chords. We had never written music together in quite that way.
“Maybe we could write some lyrics to go with it tomorrow.” Chad sounded excited. “Baby, what do you feel when you play that?”
“Horny.”
“Oh God, baby. Why do you do this to me?”
“I’m not letting you get in my panties tonight. Seriously, I feel so turned on by that piece. It came from my soul. I wasn’t even thinking. My fingers just kept moving.”
“Kinda like sex. You don’t need to think, you just do it.” He reached over and kissed my lips.
I closed my eyes and kissed him back. He pulled me closer and our guitars hit each other. Then he pulled back. “Like that? Just primal instinct?”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“Ooh, yeah! ‘Primal Instinct!’ That’s what we should call it.”
After I stripped down to my underwear, Chad put ointment on my tattoo, so it healed right. Then he sighed as I got up on the bed, to reach his shoulder. It was nice that we had something the same on our bodies. I felt even closer to him because of it.
While I was running the ointment over his skin, he asked, “How long are you willing to wait until the perfect guy comes along?”
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