What an impossibly beautiful, vibrant man. She didn’t want to think it but couldn’t help herself.
He placed his hat on a table and stepped into the room as his black cape swirled around him. Mercy instantly remembered her dream of him as a pirate and could vividly picture him striding across the room and lifting her into his arms.
Oh, what on earth was wrong with her? She read too many romance novels.
He didn’t sweep her into his arms. He merely poured himself a cup of tea as he said lightheartedly, “Have you been doing a good job entertaining my guests, Cecil?”
“A splendid job,” Mercy answered with enthusiasm. “We are finding out many interesting things about you.”
With a slight chuckle, he sank into a chair. He murmured, “I shudder to think of the secrets you are telling about me.”
Mercy’s father leaned forward and looked at him intently. “I don’t know if it’s a secret, but I just found out you were the young boy I bought chestnuts from the day of Mercy’s christening.”
Mr. Berkeley glanced at Mercy for a moment and then looked back at him and nodded. “It’s a small world indeed.”
Her father still looked shocked. “I bought Mercy the doll you told me about.”
“She told me.” Mr. Berkeley smiled.
Mercy’s father added, “I also bought the black toy horse next to it that you had admired. I tried to find you to give it to you. I looked all over town, but I never saw you again. Finally, I gave the horse to my son. Now here you sit. This is astonishing.”
In amazement Mr. Berkeley asked, “You bought me the toy horse?”
“Yes, and I carried it with me for weeks.”
“I left on a ship the day after I met you.”
Pity filled her father’s eyes as he commented softly, “You were on a ship at that young of an age.”
Mr. Berkeley’s jaw muscles tighten. He squirmed and looked away, obviously embarrassed.
Mercy’s father mused, “I’d heard the famous Mr. Berkeley was once a street urchin, but I didn’t believe it.”
With a bitter laugh, Mr. Berkeley replied, “Ironically, some rumors are true.” Taking another large sip of tea, he stood. “I think we should go for that walk before the rain moves in and ruins our plans.”
With a gallant display, he offered Mercy his arm. When she took it, he leaned over and whispered, “Well, let’s go put on a good show, Miss Creed.”
A great rush of irritation came over her and she couldn’t hide her frown. This was just a show. There was nothing real about them actually courting, but for some stupid reason it bothered her to hear him say it.
As they walked out the door, he murmured, “I’m sorry you have to go on display like this. I know you don’t want to be here with me.”
Her eyes flashed up to his. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to say it. I can tell. I can read your face like I can read the winds. I’m afraid you would never be able to hide much from me.”
His serious side left her feeling uncomfortable. She liked his teasing, lightheartedness better because then she didn’t feel so guilty. She knew she had to say something, but she needed to choose her words carefully. This was a fine line she found herself walking. Balance was paramount!
Finally she said, “It’s not you, I assure you. I think very highly of you. This is just an awkward situation.”
He looked down at her skeptically and lifted an eyebrow. “You think highly of me?”
“Yes, I do,” she replied with a hint of irritation.
“Quite recently you told me I was a scoundrel. When did your opinion change?”
“I just said that because I was embarrassed. I believe you that the countess was the one pursuing.”
She glanced up at him, but he stared straight ahead. His face looked like granite.
With the most lighthearted voice she could manage, she said, “You aren’t putting on a particularly good show, Mr. Berkeley. People will think we are arguing…and then what will the rumor mills say? Try acting like you enjoy my company, then this outing will probably accomplish more.”
In a voice so quiet she could hardly hear him, he mumbled, “I do enjoy your company. I just want you to enjoy mine.”
“Well, if you were not acting so grumpy, you would make it easier for me.”
He let out something between a breath and a laugh. “Grumpy?”
“Yes. Grumpy. Peevish. Cross. Sulky. Testy. Irritable. You get the picture.”
She watched as a smile tugged at his beautiful, full lips and she felt like raising her hands in victory. Squeezing his arm a bit to stress her point, she explained, “Mr. Berkeley, I know it has been a stressful few days for you. I feel guilty because if you had not been standing next to me when Cordelia came out to yell at me, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“Miss Creed, this isn’t your fault at all. Don’t feel guilty.”
She wondered why he was calling her Miss Creed again. The day Cordelia caught them in the garden he’d called her Mercy.
Trying to disguise the true seriousness of her thoughts, she asked in a teasing way, “Do you think it ever works to tell someone not to feel guilty about something they already feel guilty about.”
He shook his head with a slight smile. “Probably not.”
“Right. So please don’t.”
She glanced around at the people bustling about the city and noticed a few curious stares. Glancing back, she saw that her parents walked several steps behind them. They were smiling, talking and looking quite comfortable.
She leaned in and commented lightly, “Mr. Berkeley, I have to say that I think we are dashing some rumors at this exact moment.”
“I hope so,” Mr. Berkeley nodded.
Mercy reached into her pocket and handed him a letter. “Here, this is for you. It’s a copy of a letter I sent to Pastor Lawrence. I thought since the letter concerned you, you might like to know what I said.”
He opened the letter and his sharp, blue eyes scanned the page. Finally, he folded the letter and put it in his pocket, looking at her with an expression that melted her heart.
She saw him as he must have looked as that little nine year old boy alone in the world with no one to hold him and love him.
Blinking back some tears, he looked away, as he mumbled, “Thank you.”
A warm feeling came over her and she wanted to be the one to comfort and hold him, wiping away his tears. But she couldn’t. With all the horrible things she’d become, she couldn’t add unfaithful to the list.
Mr. Berkeley needed someone to love him and as long this charade continued, he wouldn’t be looking for his true love. She hoped these rumors died quickly, so they could both get back to their lives.
To lighten the situation, she asked, “So tell me about you becoming a Captain at such a young age?”
His voice was low and steady as he answered. “I was one of the only people on board who could read and write, and I had a natural inclination toward understanding the wind patterns and the best way to turn the sails to maximize their force, so I became helpful to the Captain.
“When I was seventeen, typhus broke out aboard the ship and many of the men died. So by default, I ended up being promoted to chief mate for the rest of the journey.
“I assumed when we got to port, I would be demoted again, but the Captain liked me and I remained chief mate. Once when we were out at sea, a British ship attacked us. My captain was gravely injured and rendered unconscious. The men looked to me and I was only twenty.
“I thought I would crack under the pressure, but I knew if I froze, we would all be killed. We were able to defeat the British ship and when I captured their officers, they were humiliated to see a mere boy had led the Pale Moon to victory.
“Again, I assumed a new captain would be found when we reached port, but I was given the permanent position. I kept it for over seven years.”
“What an amazing story.” Mercy gasped.
“
I suppose it sounds that way when it’s summed up in a few sentences, but to me it was years and years of hard work and monotony.”
“I thought you liked sailing.”
“I did. I do. But it’s not particularly glamorous.”
“I suppose few lives are glamorous from the outside looking in.” Mercy conceded.
“Your life is glamorous.”
“What?” She laughed and for some reason couldn’t stop. At last she took a breath and managed to say, “You must be joking.”
He shook his head. “No. Not at all.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I have a nice life and I’m not complaining, but I’m just a plain, simple girl living a plain, simple life. There is nothing glamorous about me or my life.”
“Mercy, there is nothing plain and simple about you.”
Mercy. There it was. He’d called her Mercy again. She liked hearing him say her name.
He placed his hand over hers that rested on his arm and squeezed. “I’ve been all over the world and met thousands of females. You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing one I’ve ever met. Every time I see you, every time we’re near each other, you take my breath away. If that isn’t glamorous, I don’t know what is.”
She took his breath away? That speech just took her breath away. Literally.
“Mercy, could I ask you something?” She simply nodded, unable to speak. “Could you call me Addison? If we are courting, you should call me that, don’t you think?”
She nodded again and thankfully her mother stepped forward and asked, “What do the two of you say we head into a few shops?”
He turned and gave her mother an irresistible smile. “I’d say that’s a splendid idea, Mrs. Creed.”
The rest of the afternoon they spent going in and out of shops trying to run across as many people as possible. In the course of their ruse, Mr. Berkeley surprised her by buying her a wide brimmed straw hat, some flower bulbs, and a romance novel that he handed to her with a wink and a whispered, “Perhaps I should be the one reading this to learn how to be a better dashing hero for you.”
They had a wonderful meal at the Old Brasier Inn that Mr. Berkeley insisted on paying for, and he told them this was George Washington’s favorite place to eat in Boston. She could see why.
Throughout the day, Mr. Berkeley’s mood had lightened and by the time they parted company he was much more his usual self. It seemed being in her presence made him happy. And that broke her heart.
****
Addison walked into his office just as a storm cloud burst above him. Rain poured to earth from the angry sky. Shaking the water off his cape, he hung it by the door. “So Cecil, have I lost much more business yet today?”
When Cecil didn’t answer out loud, he looked over to see him nodding slowly with a terribly worried expression on his normally jolly face. “We just lost the contract with Calwell Textile Company. Calwell himself came by and brought his final payment to you.”
“That is my largest contract. What did he say?”
“He said he could not have his name associated with such a scandal.”
“You know, I thought that man was more than just a business associate. I actually thought he was my friend.”
“I suppose in a situation like this you are going to find out who your real friends are.” He added softly, “ I’m not going anywhere, Addison.”
“Thank you, Cecil. Truly. I hope you know I’ve always appreciated your faithfulness.”
“I know you have. And I’ve always appreciated your faithfulness to me.” He let out a tight breath. “Speaking of real friends, have you heard from Governor Hancock?”
“He’s out of town. I’m sure I’ll hear from him when he gets back. He is a good man.”
Cecil stood and grabbed Addison’s arm. He led Addison into his office and sat across from him in the chair.
With a wry smile, Cecil asked, “So tell me about this Miss Mercy Creed. She looks like an angel. She is so beautiful, she hardly looks real. Is she as angelic on the inside too?”
“Yes.”
After waiting for several moments, Cecil chuckled. “Is that all the answer I get? I have waited all these years for a girl to capture your heart and when one finally does, that is all you are going to say?”
Capture his heart? That made him sound like a victim, while she stood above him holding his heart, waiting to crush it in her hands. Mercy would never purposely crush his heart. Yet, knowing she could, gave her more power over him.
Cecil placed a concerned hand on his shoulder, “Addison, what’s wrong? Falling in love is supposed to be wonderful.”
“Well, it makes me feel sick. Quite literally.”
“Why?”
Strumming his fingers on the arm of the chair, he wondered how to make coherent words out of his jumbled thoughts.
At last he began, “My mother was astonishingly beautiful, smart, kind and my father gave her his heart completely. But when she died, she took his heart with her. He couldn’t even love me.”
Leaning his head against the back of his chair, he closed his eyes. “I never wanted to be like him. I never want to give a woman that much power over me. I made up my mind long ago that when I finally took a wife she would be plain and simple. She would not captivate me, and my heart would remain beating in my own chest.”
His friend’s voice prodded, “And?”
“And I’m a confused man. Mercy is just like my mother, astonishingly beautiful, smart, and kind. I’m quickly becoming a man just like my father, against my will. I think about Mercy night and day. When she smiles at me, I think the world is wonderful. When I sense her pulling away from me, I feel as if the world is a dark and lonely place. I don’t want my world wrapped up in her.”
“But when you are in love, your worlds are wrapped up in each other. That is what true love is. You are a stronger man than your father was. If you had a child with Miss Creed and she died, you would not abandon your child emotionally like your father did to you. I know you Addison. You wouldn’t do that. Look at the faithfulness you have shown to me. You would do no less for your own flesh and blood. But don’t let your fears keep you from loving. Life without love is lonely.”
“How would you know?”
“I’m in love, Addison. I’m going to marry Jane Turnball. I asked her yesterday.”
Lifting his head, Addison opened his eyes and stared at his friend. “That is good news, Cecil. I’m happy for you. Truly. Mrs. Turnball is a good woman, and she obviously adores you.”
“Yes, and Miss Creed adores you as well.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
Cecil’s expressive face looked perplexed. “Why do you say that? All women adore you.”
“Well, not her. She hardly even likes me.”
“Why on earth would you say that?”
“Because it’s true.”
“Give her time. She will learn to adore you.” He leaned over and punched his arm playfully. “How could she not? You are adorable.”
A bell chimed announcing someone’s arrival, and Cecil went to welcome the visitor.
Addison groaned, hoping it wasn’t someone else canceling a contract with him. He had worked terribly hard to build his life just the way he wanted it, and now it seemed as if everything was tumbling down around him.
****
Mercy bundled up in her warmest wrap. She walked through the backyard to the gazebo. When she and Ian started these late night rendezvous in the garden, it had been springtime. Then it was summer, and the warm, sultry air seemed to be the perfect backdrop for their adventures.
But now it was autumn, and the frigid weather made this trek absolutely miserable. Winter would be here soon and bring with it the freezing snow. These meetings in the gazebo would no longer be possible. For one thing, she’d leave footprints in the snow that’d look suspicious in the morning.
When she had started this affair with Ian, she’d thought they would be married by now. She and Ia
n would have to discuss some more devious plans for clandestine meetings during the day since nighttime visits in the garden would soon be impossible.
When she stepped into the gazebo, the look on Ian’s face made her blood run cold and a violent chill caused her whole body to tremble.
In a frigid voice that matched the air, he seethed, “Where were you last night. I waited for over an hour.”
“Well I waited for over an hour the two nights before that.”
“I was busy and couldn’t get away. What were you doing last night?”
Understanding Mercy Page 18