by Camille Eide
* * *
She’d never felt this stuffed in her entire life.
When the kids and Joe’s family crammed into the den after dinner, Jasmine followed Sue to the crowded couch and squeezed in beside her.
Sue let out a half laugh, half groan. “Jasmine, if you squish me any tighter, I’m going to explode. And all over you, probably.”
Grinning, Jasmine patted Sue’s belly. “You eat too much potatoes, Mama Sue. You take seconds today. I see you.”
Mama? Sue tried to focus on what Joe was telling everyone about presents, but all she could hear was what Jasmine had called her in that sweet voice of hers.
“Looks like Ben and I are sharing Santa duty.” Joe clapped his brother on the back and said something only Ben could hear.
Ben grinned and glanced at Sue. “Nobody here wants a Christmas present, do they?” Ben asked.
He was answered with shouts.
Sue talked to Fiona and John, situated to her right, as Joe passed out gifts. Sadness that she couldn’t do this for the kids herself quickly disappeared, replaced with the joy of seeing Joe’s eagerness. He looked more excited about the presents than the kids did. There was no way she could deny him the pleasure of treating them at Christmas.
As Ben read a name tag and asked who it belonged to, Joe took a gift to Donovan. He helped him open it, watching the boy’s face as they peeled back the wrap together.
Donovan peeked into the box, then rolled his head back with a big open-mouthed grin at Joe. “Binoculars!”
Sue smiled at the boy. Watching birds was his favorite pastime.
Joe and Ben handed out more gifts to the squeals and exclamations of kids opening gifts or waiting eagerly for their turns.
Joe must have put a lot of thought into each present. And he was so good at it. It wasn’t hard to imagine him being a good dad. Not hard at all. In fact …
A dull ache plowed through Sue, leaving a hollow feeling. Even in a roomful of people, she was alone. Experiencing the same loneliness she’d felt as a foster kid, living in a home but not part of the family, an outsider. Or like the times she’d gone hungry so long that she no longer felt pain. Just emptiness.
Headlights in the den window stirred Sue from her thoughts.
Bertie must have cut her family visit short. But she usually parked in the lot below the shop.
Sue was wedged in so tightly between Jasmine and Sonja that it took a couple tries to get up. By the time she got free and made it to the foyer, the doorbell sounded.
A short, sixtyish woman stood on the porch wearing a fuzzy red reindeer sweater and more bling than a rapper. A blend of cloying perfume and stale nicotine knocked Sue back a step.
“Is Joey here?” The woman spied the crowded den and marched past Sue.
Sue darted around the woman and blocked her from going farther. “Why don’t we start with names? I’m Susan Quinn, director of Juniper Ranch. And you are?”
The woman hitched a purse higher on her shoulder and crossed her arms over jangling necklaces. She nodded in the direction of Joe and his family.
“Leia Jacobs. I’m with them.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sue turned to Joe.
He froze and stared at the woman in the foyer.
Ben, who was kneeling beside Fiona, looked at her too.
Another member of Joe’s family? Sue turned to question the woman, but Leia was already headed for the den.
This must be the mother. Apparently Joe didn’t have the same feelings of resolution with the mom as he had with the dad.
Leia eyed the gifts in John’s lap. “Well, you’re making out like a bandit.” She turned to Fiona. “Fee? Got a kiss for your mama?” She bent toward the young woman.
Joe stood slowly, his lips disappearing in a thin line.
All Sue could think about was the horrible conditions in which Joe said he’d found John and Fiona. Where was Leia when they were living in filth and struggling to survive? And what did this unexpected visit mean?
Joe glanced at Ben, who also watched Leia without a word.
John Jacobs leaned back and eyeballed the woman. “Told you not to come here.”
She snorted. “What kind of world is it when a mother can’t even spend Christmas Eve with her own family?” She leaned close to John. “Besides, you’re the one who told me where Joey lives.”
The old man cast a hangdog look at Joe.
Fabulous. Sue shouldn’t have let the woman in. She needed to pull Joe aside and ask if he wanted Leia to leave, but Joe tapped Ben and beckoned him to the tree.
Ben followed and they resumed passing out presents, ignoring the interruption.
Sue forced herself to relax.
With a huff, Leia made her way to the couch and squeezed in beside Jasmine. Beneath her dark lashes, the girl peeked at the woman’s necklaces, nose wrinkling.
Cori opened her gift and squealed at a shiny, red jacket, bright scarf, and matching hat. “Thank you, J-man.” She jumped up from the braided rug and gave him a side hug.
Ben read the label on another package. “To Jasmine.”
Jasmine shot to her feet. “Yes! That me!”
Ben grinned and handed the gift to her.
She ripped off the paper and held up an iPod. She covered her mouth, eyes wide. “For me?”
With a huge smile, Joe nodded. “It’s already loaded with a bunch of songs I think you’ll like.”
“Thank you, Papa Joe!”
Leia snorted. “Should’ve let me do the shopping. A little girl has no business with an expensive item like that. What were you thinking?”
Joe ignored her and handed a gift to Edgar, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
Actually, Sue was sort of wondering the very same thing. What was Joe thinking? Not that she would interfere with his desire to give the kids a nice Christmas, but the value of all these gifts combined must have cost him a mint. Even if he had a good-sized savings, how could he spend so much of his money on kids he would never—
Never see again.
Pained by the thought, Sue dragged a chair from the dining hall to the edge of the den and took a seat. Doesn’t matter. He’ll be gone soon and then we’ll move on. All of us. The thought carved a void in her heart.
“Looks like I got here just in time,” Leia said, craning her neck to see what else was under the tree. “Anything for me?”
Scooping up the last of the packages, Joe paused. “Heard you didn’t want to be part of the family anymore.” He spoke in an even tone.
The chatter in the room quieted.
Leia darted looks at Ben and Sue, then shrugged. “No harm done. You didn’t know I was coming.” With a quick study of Jasmine’s iPod, she said, “I’ll take mine in cash.”
Joe froze in the center of the room and stared at Leia. “Did you say cash?”
Leia lifted her chin. “Why not? You shelled out a fortune on these kids, and they’re not even family.”
Joe turned toward the kids, who were breaking out their gifts and showing them to each other. “These kids are none of your business.”
With an effort, Leia stood up and smoothed down her tangled necklaces. “I know how good those oil rigs pay. You’re taking care of your family now. I’m entitled to my share.”
Joe turned and handed a package to one of the kids. “No.”
“Why not?”
His shoulders went rigid. “You don’t want to do this here, Leia.”
“I just want what they got.”
Joe turned to her, eyes menacing as thunderclouds. He stepped close to her and bent over, dwarfing her with his towering frame. “Do you have any idea how I found John and Fiona?”
She leaned away from him. “Don’t go twisting things around and blaming me. They were fine when I left. And if you’re bent out of shape about ancient history, that was totally out of my hands.”
“Out of your—” His words grated like metal on stone. Joe glared at the woman, nostrils flaring. “I’ve got
nothing you want, Leia. Guarantee you that.” He crossed the room to Chaz, who was showing his telescope to Daisy, and crouched beside them to look at it.
Leia’s bejeweled sweater rose and fell in bursts, her face mottled shades of red. She looked around, spied Sue, and came to her. “Guess you’re pretty lax about the kind of people you have working for you,” she said in low tones. “Or maybe you just don’t care about having a sex offender working with kids.”
Sue’s pulse raced. “What are you talking about?”
Leia eyed Joe and kept her voice low. “Your girl over there in the wheelchair? I wouldn’t trust him alone with her for a second. He always did have a thing for the weaker ones.”
Sue shook her head, mind numb. “Not Joe.”
The woman shrugged, her gaze darting around the room. “Don’t take my word for it. It’s in the court records. When we found out what he’d been doing to Fiona and the others, the judge removed him from our home.” She spied Joe and Daisy. “He was always big for his age. A bully. The judge made sure he was sent to a home where there weren’t any smaller or weaker kids.”
Sue’s thoughts whirled. That was not the Joe she knew. Not the vibes she got from him.
Yet … sometimes vibes lied. Played tricks on a girl. Especially when a girl’s silly heart got in there and confused things. Still trying to process what the woman was saying, Sue whispered, “You said court records.” She swallowed hard. “He was a minor. Those records are sealed.”
Leia narrowed her eyes. “Exactly. Not the kind of thing a guy puts on his résumé, if you know what I mean.”
Joe steadied the telescope for Daisy, then helped her aim it out the den window.
“Don’t have to take my word for it.” Leia shook her head. “Court said he was deviant. Fancy name for a filthy pervert. I can’t even talk about what he did.”
Sue couldn’t listen any more. She rose and went to the foyer, needing distance from Leia.
The idea of Joe victimizing children was ridiculous. But if a court had removed him to protect other children, that pointed to potentially serious issues, even if he’d only been a kid.
Nausea crept into her stomach. She was sickened by both this news and by how desperately she hoped it wasn’t true. He’d had opportunity to be alone with the boys and even some of the girls.
Had her feelings for him blinded her? Like her mom had done before her, had Sue let stupidity over a man put kids at risk?
She took a look around the crowded den. Had Joe ever been alone with Daisy? Sue held her breath and watched as Joe gave Daisy’s hair a tousle and picked up another Christmas package.
And headed straight for Sue.
* * *
Joe tucked Sue’s gift under his arm and made his way to her. She’d left the den and was now alone in the foyer. Good.
Leia had gone to sit with Fiona, which was even better. He didn’t want to give Sue her gift in front of Leia. He also didn’t want to wreck Christmas for Sue and the kids with an ugly scene. Sending Leia out the front door with a boot to her backside would probably upset the kids, so he’d resisted the powerful urge.
But very soon, when everyone else was occupied, he would escort Leia to her car and make sure she never set foot here again. Yeah, he was supposed to forgive. Didn’t mean he had to look at her.
When he reached Sue, she looked up at him, expression tight.
Joe sighed. This jolly Jacobs family reunion must have been more than she’d bargained for. “Don’t forget yours,” he said quietly, handing her the gift. “I know. You don’t do birthdays, and you probably don’t do Christmas either. But everyone gets one today.” He shrugged. “Nobody argues with Santa.”
She took the gift absently, skimming a glance at the cluster of fancy chocolates attached with a ribbon to the outside of the package.
Joe silently thanked the girl at Macy’s for that extra touch.
She opened the box and drew out the softest sweater he could find. Her gaze lingered on the pink fluff, but it seemed her mind was somewhere else. “Thank you, Joe. It’s lovely.” Then she lifted her gaze, eyes troubled. “I can’t believe I have to ask you this,” she said, her strained voice barely above a whisper. “Your adult background check cleared, but do you have a record of being a sex offender as a minor?”
“What—?” A rush of anger stole his breath.
Leia.
Heat seared his veins. “Lies. She lies.”
“She said there are court records. How could she lie about a thing like that?”
Because she’s a cold-blooded snake. His jaw clenched until pain shot through his back teeth.
After all these years, his worth, his hard-earned credibility, was on the line again? His reputation in the hands of that woman—again?
Joe turned a narrowed gaze at Leia. No. She wasn’t getting away with it. Not this time.
He spun and stormed into the den. Ben took one look at Joe’s face and shot to his feet.
Joe went straight to Leia. “You’re leaving.”
She gawked at him.
“Now. You can walk out or we can escort you.”
Leia folded her arms.
Joe grasped an elbow and hauled her to her feet.
Ben took her other elbow.
“What in the—”
“Let’s go,” Joe said. “You’ve said enough.”
Together, he and Ben forced the sputtering woman to the foyer. Joe opened the door and propelled her across the porch, her feet scurrying like a fleeing insect.
Even though Ben scrambled to keep up, Joe didn’t slow down but forced the wriggling, cursing woman down the steps and across the lawn to her car. At the door, he spun her to face him. “You black-hearted, lying piece of filth. You don’t know me. You’ve got nothing to say about me and you don’t deserve to share the same air as the people I care about.”
“I only said what was—”
“Lies. You can’t even draw breath without lying. I was just a kid, Leia. Remember that? A defenseless kid. And you were a monster disguised as a mother.”
“Oh! How dare you—”
“How dare you! You made me feel like a disease. Took me a long time to figure out the disease was really you. You and your punk son, the one you threw me under the bus to protect.”
“Ruben is sick and he … he has problems, but he’s getting help now.”
“Yeah, he’s sick, but you’re the sick one who turned a blind eye to the way he terrorized the kids you were supposed to protect. Kids you were paid to protect. You destroyed a kid to save your own skin, Leia. For money.” Joe spat. What dirty money it was.
She huffed. “Destroyed? All I did was ask the judge to remove you.”
“You built a case of lies against a ten-year-old kid and then left me hanging all alone with nothing but the worst kind of shame.”
Ben stepped forward and stood beside Joe, arms crossed.
“I lived with the name-calling, the looks, the whispers, people shooing their kids away from me. Learned to fight the heckling. I spent years working to undo all the damage you did.”
“Ben?” She turned a nervous look his way. “You were there. It wasn’t like that. Tell him.”
Ben shook his head. “No. You robbed me of my brother. And you let that son of yours prey on defenseless kids. You’re a coward, Leia. A greedy, lying coward. You should be rotting in jail.”
Leia opened the car door and scrambled into the driver’s seat.
Joe grabbed the door so she couldn’t shut it. He thrust a finger at her face. “Don’t come back. And stay away from John and Fiona.” Joe slammed the door.
The car backed around, overshot up onto the lawn, then sped down the drive, fishtailing in the snow as it left.
Ben watched the car until it disappeared, then turned to Joe. “Wow. Never heard a closing argument like that. Ever think about going into law?”
Joe surveyed the silent, frozen valley. It felt good to finally tell her off. Good but sickening. Like he’d b
een chewing on garbage. He spat and turned toward the house but stopped when he saw Sue.
She held on to the porch post, looking ashen. However long she’d been standing there, it must have been long enough to witness the decades-old fury he’d unleashed on his ex-mom.
Great.
He’d left Sue with Leia’s accusations ringing in her ears. He needed to explain, clear his name, prove himself above suspicion.
Again.
Chapter Thirty
In the light of the front porch, the look on Joe’s face was not guilt. But the fury in his voice when he sent Leia away had left Sue trembling. She barely noticed when Ben passed them and went inside, closing the door behind him. A gust of wind plastered hair across her face. She tucked a strand behind her ear and pulled her sweatshirt tighter. “Is it true that the court removed you from the Jacobses’ home?”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah. I was ten. At the time, I thought it was because of something I did that I was … deeply ashamed of,” he said. “Leia used that to cover up her gross negligence and deflect attention from Ruben, her son. By that time, Leia had me convinced I was repulsive. So, in my guilt and confusion, I confessed to things I didn’t do.” He met her eyes. “I didn’t understand the difference between what I had done and what Leia and Ruben were saying I’d done.”
Sue gave herself a moment to prepare herself for his answer before going on. “What did you do that you were ashamed of?”
Joe raised his face to the night and closed his eyes. “I hit Fiona.” He swallowed hard. “Not a day passes that I don’t want to crawl into a hole for giving in and doing that.”
Nausea rolled through her. The girl was mentally and physically disabled, utterly defenseless. “Why?”
Slowly, Joe met her gaze. “Leia’s son was a monster. I don’t know the full extent of what Ruben did to the other kids who came through the home, but I have a good idea. Sometimes he’d force me to be his lookout. I should never have done that. He threatened to beat me up if I ever told, and at first I stood up to him, because I didn’t care if he hurt me. But then he threatened to hurt Ben. I was afraid I couldn’t protect him, so I didn’t tell. Then he started pressuring me to hurt Fiona. I refused, but he kept at it. Then he started knocking Ben around.” Joe turned away and searched the evening sky. “I gave in. I shouldn’t have, but I slapped her. I … kept at it until she cried.” His voice cracked. “Ruben tried to convince me she didn’t feel it. But I knew she did. He said if I ever told on him, I’d be in more trouble than anyone else because I’d … I’d abused a disabled kid.” The last words were barely a whisper. “I remember being in the courtroom, crying and apologizing, not realizing what I was confessing to. I had no idea until a couple years later, after I’d been labeled a child sex offender.” He looked at Sue, eyes filled with grief. “By then I was alone. No one believed me.”