“Mr. Valdo invited me, ma’am,” said Columbo.
“Well, I guess it’s not inappropriate to have you as a part of our celebration,” she said.
“Celebration?”
“Celebration. Tony is giving me a contract to star in a picture. And if you start that ‘ma’am’ business again, I’m going to kick you under the table.”
“Star in a picture! Congratulations. I guess that’s something you’ve wanted for a long time.”
“Yes. Tony Vado has always felt I have talent. Joe knows I do and is going to put some money in the picture. Ben Willsberger doesn’t think I can act, but that’s all right; he’ll direct and teach me all I need to know as we go along.”
“Wonderful,” said Columbo.
“I know what you have to be thinking,” she said. “You have to be thinking that Arlene’s death changed Joe’s financial situation enough to make it possible for him to buy a participation in the film. But that’s immaterial. Tony would make the film anyway.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” said Columbo. “Uh… who’s joining us, besides Mr. Vado?”
“Joe. And Ben. Maybe somebody else. I don’t know.”
“Kim… Did you know that Mr. Khoury posted bond for Puss Dogood and Kid and Bum last night?”
“I know.”
“Why’d he do that? Do you know?”
“He says it’s because he felt sorry for Puss. He said it was obvious you weren’t really holding her on a possession charge but on suspicion of murdering Arlene, a charge you couldn’t begin to prove. He said people’s freedom is not something you should play games with. I’m sorry he used those terms, but that’s his honest feeling.”
“You say that what he says. I guess you think there was another reason?”
“I know he went to see her. What they talked about in private, I can only guess. My guess is she told him she’d make a public statement saying she used to sleep with him. That would be so contrary to the reputation of Yussef Khoury. He’s very sensitive about things like that.”
“Do you know she’s disappeared?” Columbo asked.
“What?”
“Gone. The three of them.”
“My god! Don’t tell Joe until after the luncheon. Let’s let him enjoy himself a little.”
“Tell me about your movie,” said Columbo.
“Well, it’s not Altarpiece, not the picture I wanted to make. But it will give me a start. It’s a true story about a girl who became a Playboy Playmate of the Month and then was paralyzed in an automobile accident and struggled her way back. Kitsch.”
“Might be interesting,” said Columbo.
“I’ll have to shed a lot of tears and show a lot of gritty courage. Besides that, I’ll have to show a lot of me, since I’m going to be a playmate. That’s something else I always wanted: to be a Playboy playmate. I mean, for real. But I guess playing one in a film is even better. Wouldn’t you say?”
The four people who were to fill the other chairs at the table now arrived—Yussef Khoury, Antonio Vado, Benjamin Willsberger, and a young woman Columbo did not recognize.
‘‘That’s Willa Wood,” said Kim. “She’ll be in the picture, too.”
Columbo remembered that Willa Wood was the star of Khoury’s first picture, Joelle. Writers had described her as a sex kitten, which was her specialty role, and her appearance confirmed it. Blonde and voluptuous, wearing a white silk dress filled to bursting, she was in character as she crossed the club dining room, drawing a variety of stares, from the appreciative to the indignant.
“Hello, Lieutenant Columbo,” said Khoury. “I suppose you know I bailed Puss and her friends out of jail last night.”
“I got that word this morning,” said Columbo.
“I hope I haven’t interfered with anything,” said Khoury, “but my conscience just wouldn’t let me allow that misguided young woman to remain behind bars when it was obvious you could not charge her with the murder of Arlene.”
“No problem, sir,” said Columbo, and he conformed to Kim’s request that he not tell Khoury that Puss and her friends had disappeared.
“I have to ask you, Lieutenant Columbo, how long will you have to retain Arlene’s choker as evidence?”
“Ordinarily, sir, we would hold on to that until a trial.”
“I was wondering if it could be photographed, measured, appraised… and whatever, and the item returned to me. I should like—I hate having to say it, but I must acknowledge that I need the money. I’d like to sell it.”
“I’ll see if I can arrange for its release,” said Columbo.
* * *
The luncheon was festive. Willa Wood, sex kitten though she might be, was a perceptive, witty young woman, playing the role of dumb blonde. Told that Columbo was a homicide detective, she purred breathlessly, “Oh, Lieutenant, I’m glad to meet you. If I ever need a homicide done, I’ll know who to ask.” Everyone laughed, but a few minutes later, when she had a private word with Columbo across the table, she asked, “Have you seen a case yet where DNA evidence solved the mystery?”
Vado made a little speech. He said he was happy they had agreed to make the film. Kimberly Dana, he said, bore a remarkable resemblance to the playmate who was injured and recovered and he was sure her performance would be as inspiring as the original story. He was glad that Willa Wood had agreed to play the role of another playmate, a young woman who in real life had pressed her friend to persevere and recover. He was glad that Ben Willsberger had agreed to direct. He was sorry that Steve Heck would not design the production—although, he added with weak and saturnine humor, that might mean the picture would come in under budget.
He welcomed Lieutenant Columbo of LAPD homicide, who had come to know them all exceptionally well. “I am sure the lieutenant’s professional efforts will soon take off our shoulders the burden of having to wonder who killed Arlene Khoury and Steve Heck.” He stopped and pointed at Columbo, as if asking for a comment. Columbo smiled and held out his empty palms.
4
When they had finished their drinks and were eating lunch, Vado suggested to Columbo that the two of them go to the men’s room, where they could speak for a moment out of the presence of the others. They went there and talked as they stood before a pair of urinals. Columbo looked around to see if any other man was in the room before he told Vado what he wanted to ask.
“Sir, what I need to know is, do you by any chance happen to own a Philippine folding knife called by the name Bali-Song?”
Vado turned his face toward Columbo. “Uh… As a matter of fact, I do. But… What does that have to do with anything, if you don’t mind my asking.”
“Maybe nothing,” said Columbo. “It may not mean anything at all. But it just might, and I—”
“Do you want it? Do you want to see it?” Vado asked.
“Not necessarily. I’d like to know two things about it. One you can tell me now. The other you can phone me and tell me.”
“Shoot, Lieutenant.”
“What you can phone and tell me,” said Columbo, “is the dimensions of the blade. I’d appreciate it, sir, if you would measure it in centimeters.”
“You got it. I’ll call my secretary, have her measure it, and she’ll call you this afternoon. And, of course, I know what the second question is. You don’t even have to ask me.”
Columbo nodded. “Where’d you get it?”
“Just where you think I got it. It was a gift from Joe Khoury. Hey… You don’t suspect that Joe killed his wife, do you? Yeah. You do.”
“No, Mr. Vado,” said Columbo. “Don’t jump to that conclusion. It’s just that I gotta check out all the facts.”
“There are probably tens of thousands of those knives,” said Vado.
“Absolutely,” said Columbo.
“Listen,” said Vado. “There’s going to be an announcement. Hey, I—The reason I wanted you here, I had hoped maybe you could make an announcement of your own: that you’ve cleared up the murders and will file c
harges against—But Joe bailed her out! Listen, if he gave me one of those knives, why couldn’t he have given one to her? You know he… Maybe she stole one from him.”
“Now, there’s a thought,” said Columbo, nodding slowly. “Maybe she did.”5
5
While Columbo and Vado were in the men’s room, Khoury and Kim had stepped out on the deck. “Should we do this?” she asked.
“Why not?” he asked. “It’s not going to make Columbo any more suspicious, and it might just give him pause.”
Kim gripped the deck railing with both hands and stared out to sea. “You know what? We didn’t have to do it. If Tony Vado had told us he wanted to make this picture—”
“If the dog hadn’t stopped to pee, he’d have caught the rabbit,” said Joe Khoury. “Ifs don’t count. You can’t plan things on the basis of what might happen.”
“Tell me again exactly what Puss Dogood said.” Khoury blew a loud sigh. “She said if I’d bail her out she’d run. She said Charlie had shown her a place in Nevada where she could hole up for a year and no one could find her. All these years, they’ve kept this place stocked with food and water—guns and ammunition, too—in anticipation of the day when Charlie would come back and they’d need a hideout for a while. She said if she could just get to that place, she could hide and wait for Charlie. When he found out she was missing, he’d know where she’d gone, and he’d come out and join her.”
“There’s something wrong about this, Joe,” said Kim. “Why did LAPD let her get away on bail?”
Khoury glanced around. “Because the case we made against her wasn’t strong enough to hold her for murder. Even when you let them have the choker, they didn’t file a murder charge. I posted her bond in the middle of the night, to give her a head start before they figured out they didn’t want her loose. She promised me she’d run. She was grateful to get the chance. She really believes Charles Manson will find out she’s on the run and escape to come to Nevada and join her.”
“Columbo—”
“When the story gets out that Lieutenant Columbo let the chief suspect in the Manson copycat murders get away on bail, because he neglected to file murder charges, we may have Columbo off our backs.”
“I have to hope you’re right, Joe.”
Khoury turned away from the view of the Pacific Ocean and smiled at Kim. “When a couple of people like you and me can’t outsmart a stupid career cop like Lieutenant Columbo, that’s gonna be a cold day in hell.”
She continued looking out to sea, shaking her head. “I can only hope you’re right.”
6
6
A young woman in white blouse and black skirt walked up to Columbo and Vado as they were on their way back to the table. “Excuse me, sir,” she said. “Are you Lieutenant Columbo?”
“That’s me.”
“I have a telephone message for you.”
Columbo took the pink slip and read it. “I have to call headquarters,” he told Vado.
“Don’t be too long,” said Vado. “We are going to hear another announcement.”
The young woman who had handed him the telephone slip had pointed out a row of little telephone rooms. Columbo went into one and sat down at a table. He punched in Captain Sczciegel’s number.
“Living high on the hog, Columbo?”
“Not bad. Not bad at all.”
“Okay. I have news for you. Your friend Puss Dogood and her pals are in the Esmerelda County jail in Goldfield, Nevada.”
“What charge?” Columbo asked.
“Skipping bail. They weren’t supposed to leave the county, much less the state.”
“Nice work,” said Columbo.
“Well, you said they’d go for Death Valley, because that’s where the Manson family holed up twenty-five years ago. Buddy Drake was missing, so we figured he must be driving. We asked the California Highway Patrol to watch for his Toyota on the main highways in the Death Valley area. They spotted that car going toward the Nevada state line and not far from it, so they alerted the Esmerelda County sheriff, and two of his cars caught them. Thought you’d want to know.”
“Yeah, thanks,” said Columbo.
7
As soon as Columbo returned to the luncheon table, Tony Vado stood and said Joe Khoury had an announcement to make.
Khoury stood, glanced around the table, nodding at each person in turn, and then said, “I’m most happy to announce that I’ve asked Kim to marry me and she has accepted.”
The others applauded politely and lifted their glasses in toast.
“Some may think it is a little soon,” Khoury went on, “but I know you all understand that Kim and I have cared deeply for each another for a long time. We see no reason not to acknowledge that and no reason to postpone our marriage. It is a little odd that a homicide detective investigating the murder of my late wife is among our happy group, but I am glad he is and I welcome him. All of you have been kind and supportive of Kim and me, and we want you to know we cherish you all.”
Everyone shook hands all around, and Willa Wood embraced Kim. They had finished lunch and so did not sit down again.
“Before you leave,” said Willsberger, waving a hand. “I’m going back to the soundstage to shoot the final scene of the picture. You’re all welcome. We’ll celebrate with champagne when it’s finished.”
They left the dining room and walked toward the parking lot.
As Columbo was retrieving his raincoat from the check room, Kim came up to him and spoke quietly.
“I’m grateful to you for not mentioning that Puss and her crowd skipped bail,” she said.
“It doesn’t make any difference,” he said. “They were picked up in Nevada. They’re in jail over there. We’ll have them back by tomorrow.”
“Now are you going to file a murder charge?” she asked.
“I’m probably going to file murder charges before the afternoon is over,” said Columbo.
Twenty-Three
Benjamin Willsberger strode off the soundstage, where the rest of the luncheon crowd were gathered, with his hand out to shake Columbo’s hand, but he faltered and stopped when he saw that Columbo was not alone. Two other men, probably detectives, and two uniformed officers, one of them a woman, were with him.
“This… is not a social call,” he muttered, shaking his head.
“No, sir, afraid not,” said Columbo. “This is official business.”
They had switched off the big lights above and around the soundstage. A carpenter was hammering at something behind one of the walls of the set—a set that ironically represented the detective squad room in a New York precinct house.
Willsberger pointed at the uniformed officers. Each carried a short length of chain. “My god! You…”
“I’ve got two arrest warrants,” said Columbo.
Kimberly Dana understood instantly that she was about to be arrested. She guessed that the chain the woman officer was carrying was for her. She covered her face with her hands and moaned.
Yussef Khoury understood, too, after a moment. He walked toward Columbo, the color draining from his face as he came. “What is this, Lieutenant?” he asked belligerently. “Why are you here?”
“We have a warrant for your arrest, and one for the arrest of Miss Dana, on charges of murder in the deaths of Mrs. Arlene Khoury, Mr. Stephen Heck, and Mr. Sergio Flores.”
Yussef Khoury shook his head and sneered. “From the moment I met you, Columbo, I knew you were an incompetent ass.”
“Yes, sir, that may be,” said Columbo.
“Surely, Lieutenant Columbo,” said Willsberger. “Surely there’s a mistake here.”
Columbo turned down the corners of his mouth and tipped his head to one side. “No, sir, I don’t think so. But… A court will decide. Miss Dana, would you come here, please?”
Kim came so hesitantly that Antonio Vado put his hand under her elbow to steady her and walked beside her. She was still wearing her navy unitard and loose tunic, but th
ey looked different on a woman who seemed to have shrunk in the past two minutes.
“Mr. Khoury, Miss Dana,” said Columbo, “you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Any statements you make will be taken down and may be used in evidence against you. You have the right to be represented by an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you at the public expense. Do you understand your rights?”
‘‘How could you do this?” asked Kimberly Dana.
“Do you understand your rights, Miss Dana?” Columbo persisted gently.
"Yes! But you can’t—You sat and listened to us announce our engagement, all the while knowing…” She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
“Mr. Khoury? Do you understand your rights?”
“I understand them,” Khoury muttered. “And you’re going to understand them before this is over.”
Columbo nodded at the uniformed officers. One of them stepped up to Khoury, patted him down, and then with the assistance of Ted Jackson circled his middle with a belly chain, and passed a pair of handcuffs through a large link. With the handcuffs locked on his wrists, Khoury could not lift his hands more than a few inches above his waist. He jerked up on the chain as if to test it, and his eyes darted from one person to another.
The female officer patted Kim down and chained and handcuffed her the same way, with Mulhaney helping. Kim staggered and seemed about to fall. The officer helped her to sit down on a steel-and-vinyl chair. Kim clenched her fists and jerked against the handcuffs as if she could tear them apart. Her lips trembled, she gasped, and she began to weep loudly. She could not lift her hands to cover her face, but she dropped her chin to her chest and shook. The policewoman hovered over her and patted her shoulder.
Columbo: The Helter Skelter Murders Page 21