“Velaney…sweet little Velaney,” he sang, stumbling to my bed. I sat up, getting a better view of him. Something wasn’t right. He was unstable and not talking clearly.
“What are you doing in here, Aiden?” I asked, mad that he woke me up in the first place.
“I wanted to play with you, silly,” he slurred, barely making any sense. He stripped out of his pants and shirt. He lifted the covers off me and crawled in next to me. He never showed any interest in being around me before, so the fact that he was in my bed now was confusing.
“I was sleeping,” I complained, hoping he got the hint.
“You need to be punished, Lane,” he said in a serious tone, his giddy tone no longer present.
“Why?” I asked, feeling scared.
“You said a bad word. God doesn’t like it when you use those bad words.” My mother had said this to my brother and me hundreds of times. I knew they were bad, but I had heard my dad repeat those words plenty of times when he was on the phone and didn’t know I was listening.
“It was an accident, Aiden,” I pleaded, trying to move away from his heavy body towering over me.
Whatever happened next…I blocked out. I know what he did…I remember how I felt when he did it, but the actual act has not surfaced in my memory ever since. However, I do remember telling my mother. She didn’t believe me. She wanted the perfect family—the perfect children.
I haven’t said a swear word since I was eight years old, besides the random hells and damns. The fear that something bad will happen as a result sits too heavily on me to risk it. I can’t. No matter how much I try and how much I want to scream those words…I just can’t.
* * *
I wake up the next morning, pushing all past memories away. I don’t want to think about them anymore. I know I need to move forward, but it seems impossible.
I walk into the kitchen and see a stunning Eric cooking over the stove. He doesn’t hear me, so I take an extra minute just to stare at him.
He turns around and smiles, making me feel weak. “Good mornin’, sweetheart. Are you hungry?” he asks casually.
“Sure...” I continue watching him, wondering what he’s doing in my apartment at seven in the morning. I haven’t figured out how he manages to get into my apartment all the time, but a part of me feels at ease knowing he can.
“I like your just-woke-up morning look. Your hair curls when you sleep.” He smiles, making me blush a little at the way he notices me. I can’t understand him. One minute he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, making me clench between my legs, and the next he’s all over another chick right in front of me.
“I showered last night before bed, so it curls when it’s wet,” I explain.
“I wasn’t sure what you liked so I made a little of everything.” He motions to the counter where there are plates of French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes.
“Thank you. Why exactly are you here making breakfast?” I ask, taking a piece of bacon.
“I figured you ladies could use some real food for once. Your fridge is practically empty and your pots and pans are never used.” He’s right. We don’t cook very much around here.
“Are you going to tell me how you keep getting in here?” I grab a fork, digging into my eggs. He looks at me as if he’s contemplating revealing his secret.
“Hmmm, I don’t think so.” He smiles, making me roll my eyes at him.
“Are you working today?” I ask, eager to keep the conversation going.
“I work another 48.”
“Wow, that sounds exhausting.”
“Nah, it’s not so bad. When we don’t get calls, we work out, nap and watch TV. It’s like a frat party,” he says, chuckling. “However, unlike a frat party, there are no chicks. So basically, it’s a huge sausage fest.”
I’m in the middle of taking a drink of orange juice and end up spitting it across the counter. “Oh, my goodness,” I say, laughing. He hands me a towel and I clean up my mess. “Never heard that one before.”
“I take it you didn’t party much in college?” he asks, digging for information.
“You could say that.” We are not going there.
“No old boyfriends to talk about?” He leans on the counter, looking directly into my eyes.
“Just one,” I reply, shoving in another mouthful.
“Just one boyfriend?” he asks, shocked.
“Yeah. I didn’t date.” I shrug casually.
“That’s surprising, Velaney. Seriously?” he asks, still not believing me.
“Yeah, his name was Jake. We dated for a while, but it just didn’t work out.”
“Why, what happened?” he asks, thoroughly interested. I wonder why he would want me to talk about an old boyfriend. Maybe that’s a good thing, though. I can’t let him get close to me on an intimate level…it just wouldn’t work. No, Eric is much better being my friend. Like a brother…I try and convince myself.
“Nothing really happened. I just didn’t love him like he loved me. Our feelings weren’t mutual.” In fact, our feelings were not anywhere near the same. He was head over heels in love with me. I broke his heart. I didn’t mean to, but I finally realized I just couldn’t love like that. I wasn’t capable.
“Ahhh…no spark, huh?” he asks, putting the eggs and milk back in the fridge.
“I guess you could say that.” I continue eating as he cleans up the kitchen and sets a plate aside for Carissa. Spark. Is that what I’m looking for? Is that what’s needed?
It’s very evident that I feel that spark with Eric. However, I’m pretty sure it’s a one-way street. Alex, on the other hand…could we have that spark?
I can’t even believe I’m thinking like this. I never wanted a boyfriend…never even went looking for one. Perhaps there’s a part of me that does want that, but I can’t help fighting it so damn hard.
I finish eating and thank Eric once again for making breakfast. I’m still not sure why he did, but a part of me is happy that he wants to watch over me.
“See you in a couple of days, sweetheart.” He leans down, placing a tender kiss on my forehead. His arm wraps around my waist, gripping tight. It’s confusing as all hell.
I smile back, unable to make words come out of my mouth. Why is he doing this to me? I suddenly feel angry after watching him leave. I don’t allow myself to have these feelings for a man. What’s the point? In the end, you get hurt.
I hustle to get myself ready for the day. Carissa is still sleeping when I walk out the door. Before I step into the hallway, I notice a small box sitting on the floor. I look around to see who dropped it there, but no one is in sight. My mind immediately goes to Eric.
I pick up the box and open it slowly. Inside is a Boston shot glass with a note:
Looking forward to seeing you Friday. First round’s on me.
—Alex
I can’t help the stupid smile that forms on my face as I think about him. I’m not even sure how he knew where I live, but I’m sure Kenna had something to do with that.
I walk back inside my apartment and place the box in my room. Taking the shot glass out, I set it on the table next to my bed. It makes me smile once again, and I know I’m in real trouble now.
The next two days fly by without a word from Eric. I know he’s working, but I can’t help the part of me that misses his unannounced visits.
Work at the university has slowed down, so I decide to take Friday off since I’m bartending all night. I know Alex will be there and it makes me giddy…like a stupid little teenager. Which I hate…
Part of me hopes Eric shows up, but the other part knows I need to stop thinking about him that way. He obviously doesn’t see me that way, or otherwise wouldn’t he have made a move—or something? He didn’t seem the type to go slow considering how many women I’ve seen go into his apartment, so why is he tearing at my heart like this? Why am I letting him?
I hear the guys at the bar yell it all the time at the sports channel—so I assume
it’s something bad. He’s trailing me along like a lost puppy. Leading me on…making me think he could actually want me.
How can I let myself think of him like this? This is so dumb. I need to stop. Stopping right now. From now on, Alex is the only guy I should even be thinking about. Considering I don’t ever think about guys, he’s the only one that I will allow myself to think about.
“Ready for a busy shift tonight?” Carissa asks, brushing her long hair in the mirror, taking me away from my thoughts.
“Oh yeah. Hoping for no fights, though. I don’t know if I can handle another,” I say, wiggling into my black shorts. It gets extremely warm on Friday nights, especially behind the bar when I’m running from one end to the other trying to keep up with the demand. I grab a purple top and pull it over my head, adjusting it just right.
“Damn, you look fucking hot, Lane!” Carissa squeals, turning to do a once over. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with a specific hottie now, would it?”
I shrug, pretending not to know what she’s talking about. “Maybe.”
“All I can say is it’s about damn time!”
“Nothing is going to happen, so keep your panties on.” I roll my eyes, trying to hide the smirk on my face. Nothing can happen. I’m just not wired that way.
“Are we riding in the Ladybug or mine?” she asks, grabbing her bag off the chair.
“We can take Ladybug. She fits better in the parking stalls on a busy night. Especially when drunk people can’t park.” Her head falls back as she laughs.
“Sounds good to me!” I grab the keys and head out the door. I’m eager to see Alex again. A part of me feels excited to see him. However, part of me is desperate to see Eric, too. Why hasn’t he come to see me yet?
A million thoughts run through my mind on the way to work. Is he with another girl right now? Who was that girl that showed up in the parking lot? What in the hell is wrong with me?
I hate men.
Why are they so frustrating?
Why am I so frustrating…
CHAPTER 7
My mother tried to convince me that I imagined the whole thing. It was just a dream she’d say, not believing a word I told her. It was not a dream. That was a fact.
It didn’t stop after that first night Aiden stumbled into my room. Night after night, he would tell me I needed to be punished for my sins. I didn’t scream. I didn’t run. He convinced me it was my only way to go to Heaven. You must pay for your sins, Laney he’d tell me…making me feel horrible for the things I’d done. What horrible things can an eight year old really do?
I tried telling my mother again, and that time she became mad. Do not say that! Never say that, Velaney! It’s a lie. You will not ruin our reputation, young lady! That was more important to her than anything else. Everyone saw us from the outside and immediately thought we were the perfect family. What a lie. There’s no such thing. And there never will be.
Once I met Jake my freshman year of college, I had tried my best to let go. I really wanted to. I had never kissed a guy before Jake. He was kind, sweet and went at a slow pace. It wasn’t until two years had gone by that he started begging for more. I wanted to give in—but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t with him for the right reasons and he knew it.
Carissa and I arrive at the bar, ready to defeat the mad rush that’s already forming. Kenna and Julia are working, as usual, completing our team of four.
“What’s up, my bitches?” Carissa calls out, already appearing drunk.
Kenna and Julia roll their eyes and l laugh. Carissa is loud and obnoxious but she’s the best.
“So, I hear you found yourself some nice man candy?” Julia smirks, looking directly at me.
“Ew, that’s my brother,” Kenna reminds her, displaying a disgusted look on her face.
“Does everyone know about that?” I ask, embarrassed.
“He won’t shut up about you, Lane. It’s annoying,” Kenna remarks, making me blush.
“Really? I thought he was just being polite.”
“Are you kidding? He doesn’t sit and talk to just anyone. The fact that you’re hot helps, but Alex is a genuine guy, Lane,” she says seriously, as she loads dirty glasses in the dishwasher.
“I’m not even looking for a boyfriend, guys. You have nothing to worry about.” That isn’t a hundred percent lie; the truth is I haven’t been searching for a man in my life.
“That’s exactly when it happens, Laney. Plus, it’s always best when you find something you weren’t even looking for in the first place,” Carissa chimes in, lecturing me as she always does.
“I don’t know, guys. I’d be a bad girlfriend anyway. Or whatever you would call it. I wouldn’t be any good.” That I knew was true. I could never be someone’s girlfriend again. Just the label itself sends shivers down my spine. I was an awful girlfriend to Jake. He gave me his whole heart when I hadn’t been able to give him any of mine.
“Heads up!” Julia calls, throwing a bottle at me. She nods her head over to the guy sitting across from me at the bar.
“I take it this is for you,” I say, smiling. I hand him his beer and continue washing glasses.
“I think you’d make a wonderful girlfriend,” he says, smirking back at me.
“Oh God, not you too,” I groan. “Sorry about that. Guess girl talk isn’t something guys want to hear at the bar.”
“Nah, it’s okay. I grew up with three sisters. Trust me, I know too much.” I laugh back, grabbing the money he set on the bar for his beer.
“So, tell me then. What makes a good girlfriend? You’re probably an expert by now,” I joke, crossing my arms.
“Oh honey, I don’t have a clue. All I’ve gathered over my years is what a guy is not supposed to do.” He takes a swig of his beer and sets it back down. “Basically, don’t let past relationships affect your future ones.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I huff. “There’s only been one relationship and I completely screwed it up.”
“Oh, you live and learn, girl. Trust me when I tell you, you won’t have any problem finding a man.” He smiles, making me incredibly embarrassed that I’m spilling my dirty laundry to a complete stranger.
“Hello, beautiful.” I turn and see Alex standing nearby. My face instantly reddens, blushing from the conversations that just took place. I have only been around Alex once, but the way we connected when we talked made it seem like we’ve known each other forever.
“Hey, what can I get ya tonight?” I place my hands flat on the bar, smiling back.
“I’ll take whatever is on tap,” he says, handing me a few singles. “And don’t forget, first round’s on me. So take a shot,” he reminds me, smirking back.
“Fine. I’ll do a Cherry Tootsie Pop.” I smile, grabbing a shot glass.
“Cherry, huh? Interesting.” He smirks, curling his lips up.
“Shut up, Alex. Velaney is one of my best friends,” Kenna yells, glaring and pointing her finger at him. I stifle a laugh at Kenna for being over-protective. She’s the mother hen around here, always watching out for us girls.
Alex puts his hands up in surrender. “I didn’t do anything, chill out.”
“And you won’t, mister. I mean it. Vel is too sweet for you.”
“What does that mean?” Alex and I both say at the same time. I’m too sweet for him?
“Nothing, Velaney. Just that…you’re a sweet girl. You don’t sleep around and party.” Was that supposed to be a compliment?
“Wow, thanks for telling Alex how boring I am!” With that, I fill my shot glass, tilt my head back and feel the burn of alcohol as it flows down my throat.
“You are not boring,” Eric chimes in, shocking me completely. “In fact, you are the opposite of boring.” My heart begins racing just from the raspy tone of his voice.
“Hey, stranger,” I say, avoiding the completely awkward looks both Eric and Alex are giving me. “Been busy saving lives lately?”
“Always.” God, his smile is breatht
aking.
“Um, Eric this is Alex. Alex this is Eric. He lives in my building.” I gesture between the two and they give head nods, semi-acknowledging each other.
“And how do you and Alex know each other?” Eric asks and slams singles on the bar.
“He’s Kenna’s brother,” I say vaguely, not wanting to mention the laundromat.
“I’ll take a Coors, please.” Eric smiles back at me, giving me his biggest grin. I have no idea what’s happening. Are these two playfully bantering over me? No. There’s just no way. Plus, why would they?
I shake the thoughts from my mind and continue working. The bar quickly fills up, leaving no time to chat with Alex or Eric. My heart feels ripped in half between them being here and the fact that I like them being here.
This is too messed up.
“Looks like your pussy fairy brought you two edible desserts,” Carissa whispers in my ear as I reach for a bottle.
I groan. “Can we name it something else, please? Or hey, here’s an idea. Stop referring to it as an actual person or thing…or whatever it’s supposed to be!”
She laughs back at me, noticing how flustered I am. “Getting to you that much, huh?” She crosses her arms, staring at me.
“Is it that obvious?” I pout, handing the beer off to someone.
“They haven’t taken their eyes off you, Lane.” I glance over her shoulder and see that it’s true.
“This is so confusing, Riss. I mean, Alex is so sweet. But Eric…well, he’s Eric.” That’s all that needs to be said about Eric. She knows what I mean. Eric is a southern gentleman that makes my heart flutter every time he’s around. But the fact is, he doesn’t see me that way. However, he sees other girls that way…lots and lots of other girls.
“Just have fun, Lane. Don’t take it too seriously. You have time. Lots and lots of time,” she grins, wagging her eyebrows at me. I know what she means by fun, but that just isn’t who I am. Or who I’m capable of being.
Alphas & Millionaires Starter Set Page 26