“Such a romantic gesture, Pierce.” Both her hands lace with mine, holding them at my side. “You’ve changed me. I’m going back a rich woman. A woman who is rich in more than just monetary value. You’ve shown me so much in such a small amount of time. I want you to know I’m thankful for it all. The money is the least of what I’ve gained from knowing you.”
I rub her nose with mine. “I’ve learned a lot from you too. I’ve learned that love really does exist. And before you tell me that I’m throwing it away, I want you to understand that I’m not doing that at all. I’m locking it away, keeping it safe from harm. A little place I can escape to in my mind from time to time. A perfect place, where only you and I reside. I hope you do the same sometimes.”
When I see tears moving in long streams down her pink cheeks, I can’t stand what I’m seeing and kiss her. Our arms close around each other as we take our last exchange. My body and mind are at odds. My body wants to keep her with me. My mind tells me it won’t last in the real world.
Her hands clutch my arms as I try to end the kiss. I taste her salty tears as they make their way into my mouth. She finally has to pull her mouth away as she gasps, then sobs, “I love you, Pierce. I will always love you.” Then she breaks away and runs to the stairs.
“Jade, stop,” I call out.
She stops and turns to look at me as her face is melting with sorrow. “What?”
“Jade, I love you. Please remember that. I’m doing this out of love and nothing else. What we shared was perfect, and I want it to stay that way. I love you more than I love myself, and one day I hope you can understand that, baby.”
My cell’s alarm goes off as it’s now midnight. The end of our contract.
Jade looks at my cell as I take it out of the breast pocket of my suit and swipe it to stop the sound that’s ending us. Another sob breaks out of her and she turns and runs up the stairs. I watch her take a seat next to the window. Her eyes hold me as she puts her hand on the glass as the stairs are taken away and someone shuts the door.
Our eyes lock as we take each other in for the last time. “Goodbye, Jade.” I blow her a kiss.
She’s breaking down inside the plane. She’s crying so damn hard, it hurts me as if she was stabbing my heart with a dull knife. Her mouth moves, and I can tell she’s saying, “I love you.”
“I love you, Jade!” I shout as the jet begins to move.
Into the night, the plane takes her away from me, the way I knew it always would. It had to end and I knew that all along. But I never knew how badly it would hurt us both.
I’d call it all a big mistake if we hadn’t each gained so much from our time together. What we shared can never be called a mistake. No matter what the outcome, it was no mistake.
Walking to the door, I look back as I hear the sound of the jet flying up into the dark sky. It’s unimaginable that anyone could fall so hard in only two months. If anyone ever told me such a thing before Jade, I’d have laughed at them.
Now I know it can happen.
My car is parked just outside the entrance doors. There’s barely any traffic at this late hour. I was able to park right at the curb. As I get into my car, everything crashes down on me like a brick wall.
Everything I’ve kept at bay comes bubbling to the surface like a geyser. Dropping my head on the steering wheel, I let it all out, crying like a damn baby.
“God, she’s gone! Why’d I let her go?”
Jade
My alarm goes off, waking me from the sweetest dream. Pierce and I were playing in the lake. It’s hard to believe three months have passed and he’s still so completely in my head. Even though not a word has come from him at all, I know my number is still in his cell. His is in mine too. And I find myself staring at it, wanting to call him but not daring to.
He was right about men seeing a change in me and coming on to me a hell of a lot stronger than they’ve ever done before. One in particular is finding it nearly impossible to take no for an answer. My much larger flat has been filled with various vases of flowers, as he sends them almost daily.
Charles Gilmore seems to be infatuated with me. He’s a banker, handsome, and charming. I met him when I opened a new bank account with the cashier’s check from the BDSM club. And I have a feeling he might be a gold digger. But he did send me to an investment firm that’s handling my money for me, making it grow into more money as if by magic.
I can check my bank account once a week and see it increase all the time. Interest is the way to make money, in my opinion.
Classes are going better than they were before, and they were going pretty good before summer break. It seems my creative spark was another thing that was ignited by my vacation. My professors are full of questions about what the hell happened to me during the short break.
I only tell them I took a trip to the states and my old friend and I had a ton of fun in the Oregon woods. Quite a few of my teachers have asked where they can sign up for the trip I took. It makes me laugh every time.
The doorbell rings and I climb out of bed to go see who could be bothering me so early on a weekend morning. Rubbing my eyes, I make my way to the door and look out the peephole. I see a man with a brown paper bag and a white envelope in his hand.
“Hello, and you are?” I ask.
“A messenger with a delivery for Jade Thomas.”
“From?” I ask.
“A secret admirer.”
Opening the door, I get a rush of excitement. Maybe it’s from Pierce!
The man hands me the bag and the envelope. “Here ya are, miss.”
“Thank you. Wait here. I’ll get you a tip for your trouble,” I say as I step back to put the things down.
He tips his cap at me. “No, thank you. I’ve been generously compensated by the sender. Have a wonderful day, Miss Thomas.”
Closing the door behind him, I have high hopes this is from Pierce. I put the bag and envelope down on the small Queen Anne table by the front door and look inside.
“What the hell?” I reach in and pull out white paper, unwrapping it to find smoked salmon and cream cheese on a couple of bagels. Placing them on the table, I reach back in and pull out some more breakfast foods, and then open the envelope where I find a short note written on pale blue paper.
Jade,
I’m waiting in the hallway for you. I’d like for us to spend this lovely Saturday together, starting with breakfast. We can see where things go from there.
Charles!
“Damn,” I hiss. I was so sure it was from Pierce.
Dropping to my knees, I find it impossible not to cry from disappointment. I try hard to stop crying and gain control over my emotions but it’s of no use. At least once a week this happens to me. I let hope overcome me and when disappointment ensues, it tears me apart again.
Pierce never intended to break me. But he has. I’m doing well in everything, but the way I miss him is excruciating. Each time Charles sends me something, I get my hopes up that it’s from Pierce, only to be let down each and every time.
A knock comes at the door. “Jade, are you crying in there?” Charles asks.
“Shit!”
“Jade?”
Grabbing a tissue to wipe my tears away and blow my nose, I go to the door and open it. “Charles, I wasn’t expecting anyone. I’m afraid I don’t feel well this morning.”
“You seem to be ill often, Jade. It appears to hit you every time I ask for your company.” He gives me a charming grin. “I’m well aware of your lack of dating experience. Is that why you keep turning me down? I don’t mind that at all. I think it’s quite refreshing to find a woman who’s new to the dating game.”
In a quick move, he takes my hand and walks into my flat, without being asked to. Charles Gilman is a nice looking man. His dark hair is short and parted neatly on one side. He’s not anywhere near as built as Pierce, but he’s tall and has a broad chest. His suit isn’t Armani or anything near to that, but it’s nice and he looks sophisticated
, well-off, and most women would like him, I think.
“Charles, are you after me for my money?” I ask with an abruptness that has him laughing.
“Jade, do you honestly take me for a money-grubbing man? You must be aware that I know many wealthy women. Most have more money than you do.” He leads me to sit on my sofa and I find myself pulling my pink robe tighter around me.
My nighty is skimpy, and my panties aren’t on. I wasn’t expecting male company at all. “Pierce, do you mind…” I stop as I realize what I’ve called him.
“Who’s that?” he asks me with a grin. “A secret lover, perhaps?”
Shaking my head, I get up. “I’m going to get dressed now. I suppose you can have this date you’ve been after me for. I’m sure to bore you.” I hurry out of the room and go to my bedroom.
My cell is on the nightstand and I look at it, wishing like hell that it’d ring and be Pierce on the other end of the line, telling me he’s coming for me. But it lays there like a dead fish and I head to my closet to dress.
Not trying to look cute in the least, I pull my hair, which has grown out a bit, into a high ponytail, leave the makeup off, and then put on a shapeless dress that goes all the way to my ankles. A pair of black flats makes up my ensemble, and I head out to Charles after giving my face a wash and my teeth a quick brushing.
He turns away from the table he’s set elegantly with dishes he’s found in my cupboard. “You look lovely, Jade.”
“You look as if you’ve made yourself at home, Charles.”
He comes to me, taking my hand and leading me to sit at the small table in the breakfast nook. “I have. I hope you don’t mind.”
“And if I do?” I ask as he takes the seat across from me.
“I think you just need to get used to me,” he says as he pulls a white linen napkin off the table and places it on his lap.
“Impeccable manners, I see.” I put my napkin in my lap too. I see he’s gone so far as to make a pot of coffee with my coffee maker. Looking into his brown eyes, I say, “You’ve found my coffee, I see.”
“I thought you might like some. Perhaps you’re one of those people who need it to get the day going. I didn’t want you to go without it just because I’ve shown up on your doorstep.” He gives me another brilliant smile.
Most women would love this, I bet. He’s charming and doting. But he’s not Pierce.
“Charles, I’m very busy with school. I don’t have time for a man in my life.” I pick up the bagel and take a giant bite, hoping to gross him out.
“This may come as a shock to you, but I’ve seen you around, Jade. You do have time on your hands. You go to the library and check out books. Many books. If you have time for all that reading, you have time for me.” He reaches across the table, taking my hand that was reaching for my cup of coffee.
I look at his hand on mine. “Charles, that reading I do so much of is part of my work. I’m studying to be a writer.”
“Why?” he asks. “You have no need to write. You have plenty of money. How’d you come about that, may I ask you?”
I narrow my eyes at him as I answer the way Pierce told me to if anyone asked about it. “I won a small lottery when I was in America.”
“Really?” he asks as he lets my hand go, then takes a sip of his coffee, pinky finger extended. “Because the cashier’s check you opened your account with wasn’t from a lottery commission. It was from an account that’s associated with some odd things. Things I don’t see a nice woman like yourself being into.”
My ire is fired up with his nosey nature. “Charles, that money and where it came from are none of your business. Perhaps I should pull my money out of your bank and put it somewhere else. A bank where the client’s privacy is of the utmost importance!”
“You have more spunk and spirit than most, Jade. I wonder how you gained that strength. I wonder who taught you to be so tough. I wonder if it was this Pierce man you called me earlier.” He looks at me over his coffee cup with an eerie smirk that gleams in his eyes.
“That’s none of your business, yet again. Is this how the day will go with you? You asking or telling me things and me letting you know where you stand in them?”
Compassion suddenly fills his expression. “You’re reading me all wrong. You see, I think I know what’s happened to you. I think I know why you keep turning me down. Do you want to know what I think, Jade?”
Fear runs through me as I assume he’s found out my secret. “Not really.”
“I think you’ve been used in a dreadful manner. Has some American cad hurt you?” He searches my eyes and I feel heat filling my face.
“No one has hurt me!” I get up from the table, unable to look at him any longer. I have no idea where it is I’m going, but I’m leaving the man’s company.
Suddenly, strong hands grab my shoulders and he spins me around to face him. “Where that money comes from, women are used, Jade. There was a small note on the cashier’s check. In the memo line, these words were written, Payment for services rendered for a two-month period. Tell me, Jade, what did you do for that amount of time that you were paid a million dollars for?”
I never saw this coming! I never thought anyone would ever know about what I’ve done!
“Listen to me. Does anyone else know about what that fucking check has written on it?” I ask in desperation.
“No, I’m the only one who saw it. And just so you know this, I destroyed it after getting the money transferred into your account. Frankly, I began to care about you the moment I started looking into the whole thing. I’d never want you hurt by that information. And I want to help you get over it all. The whole ugly thing.”
“But it wasn’t ugly. It was beautiful,” I blurt.
His hands move up and down my arms, caressing me, then he pulls me close, hugging me. “My poor darling girl. Your youth has compromised your judgment. Some scandalous American man dominating you for his own pleasure isn’t beautiful. It’s monstrous. And I can see how badly you’ve been hurt. So please talk to me. Tell me what he or anyone else did to you. I’ll get you to the help you’ll need to get over this tragedy.”
I’m shaking as he holds me. I’ve never allowed anyone to touch me this way. Only Pierce!
“Let me go!” I shout at him.
I must’ve surprised him with my tone, and he does what I’ve said to. “Jade!”
“No!” I shake my head and back away from him. “You should go. I don’t want your help. I was never hurt. You don’t understand.”
With a laugh, he says, “My dear, I’m forty-five years old. A man who’s been around the block a time or two. I know a young woman who’s been hurt when I see one. And, honestly, you need me more than I need you.”
“I don’t need you at all.” I turn away and he quickly grabs me again.
Turning me back to him I find his face full of compassion once more. “I know you might not believe this, but I have strong feelings for you. And with some time, I think you and I might have something worth the work I’m willing to put into you. Once I rid your mind of this masterful man who used and abused you then apparently left you, then you’ll feel better about things and be able to give me a real chance.”
“I’m not looking for romance or help, Charles. I thank you for keeping what you’ve uncovered to yourself. Having aspirations to be a writer under my own name has me worried about this coming out. I’m sure you understand.” I have to try to keep the man on my side, without having to marry the old fart.
“I’m not interested in romance until you’ve had some therapy to get your head straight about what happened to you. How many witnessed this happen to you, Jade?”
“We were in a secluded cabin in the woods.” I stop myself from saying anything else.
“He kept you secluded?” he asks with furrowed brows that make deep wrinkles crease his forehead. “Could this be considered a kidnapping?”
Shaking my head, I find him coming to his own conclusions. I know I have to
let him in on the truth, no matter how hard it’ll be to talk about it. Or he might go to the authorities with what he’s conjuring up in his mind.
Shit! I can’t believe I have to do this!
Pierce
As the full moon comes up in the window of my office, I sit down on the sofa and take a much-needed break. It’s been six months since I sent Jade home and not one day goes by without me thinking about her and our time together.
A knock at my office door has me looking at it and an unexpected thought crosses my mind. What if it’s Jade?
“Who is it?” I ask.
“Grant Jamison, Pierce.”
“It’s open,” I call out and find a small piece of me let down that it’s not Jade.
The truth is, I half-hope she’ll defy my orders for her to stay away from me and come to me anyway, forcing me to accept her love and give her mine. But so far that hasn’t happened. We haven’t shared so much as a lousy text.
“Hey there, stranger,” Grant says as he takes a seat in the chair across from me. “Long time no see at the club. And I dare say you’re looking long in the face. Don’t you think it’s time to give your mind a little break from work and get into some wild chick? There are some new faces at The Dungeon of Decorum.”
“Nah,” comes my quick reply. I don’t want to tell Grant this, but I can’t think about any other woman that I want to put my hands on except Jade.
“Nah?” Grant asks with a smile. “Do you want to tell me why you sent that woman packing when you obviously love her ass?”
“Because I can’t be to her what I was when we had our two months alone. Work gets in my way. I’d end up hurting her. I know I would.” I kick the carpet like a little kid.
“What the fuck kind of reasoning is that?” he asks me as he throws his hands into the air. “I don’t recall ever hearing anything so nutty, Pierce. And I’ve heard a lot of crazy shit in my time.”
Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 16