Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Venice was a revelation to her, and she fell in love with the city almost as soon as she saw it. Benoit had booked an incredible suite at a luxury hotel and arranged for a local designer to bring Shiloh some spectacular gowns.

  He was watching her change now, grinning lazily as she poked her tongue out at him. “Come zip me up,” she said, shrugging into a midnight blue dress. But instead of zipping her up, he let the dress fall to the floor and tumbled her onto the bed. Shiloh giggled at his mischievous smile as he removed first her bra, then her panties, and hitched her legs around his waist.

  “You are insatiable,” she sighed, then gasped as he launched his cock into her, ramming his hips against hers. His lips found hers hungrily and she moved in rhythm with him, her fingernails digging into his buttocks, urging him deeper, harder…

  They were late to the restaurant and, by Maceo’s Bartoli’s grin, their friends had all guessed why. Shiloh flushed as she was introduced to Maceo, Ori, and Alex. “My date is also late,” Alex said, then looked over to the door. “But there she is.”

  He waved at another young woman. “That’s Lucia,” Ori said to Shiloh. “She’s being Alex’s friend-date for this evening. She and I have known each other since college.”

  Shiloh warmed to both of the young women immediately. Benoit had warned her about Alex’s recent bereavement, but he seemed steady enough. Maceo was a joker, she thought to herself, but he was clearly head over heels for Ori.

  The meal passed quickly, and Shiloh could not have imagined a more pleasant bunch of people to be around. The food was exquisite and, when they all moved to the lounge for drinks afterward, she found herself relaxing in the opulence around her. Truly, she could not have anticipated a year ago, that she would be here with a man like Benoit. Their whole relationship had been a whirlwind.

  She swallowed over the discomfort that was sitting in her chest. Shiloh had a secret, something she did not want to tell Benoit—not yet, not to spoil all of this. She was falling for him—hard—and yet something was holding her back.

  Her law firm had been so impressed with her that they had offered her a chance of a lifetime defending human right’s abuses in Africa. It would mean moving to the country for however long it took, which meant she would have to put her life on hold. Her life with Benoit.

  The trouble was … she couldn’t see a way to have her cake and eat it. A man like Benoit would not wait for her forever, and why should he? But Shiloh knew that this was the career break she had been waiting for; she could not, in all conscience, decline it.

  So, she was doing what she knew best— sticking her head in the sand. Her firm had given her a month to consider and so, right here, right now, she was enjoying her time with Benoit.

  She had tried talking it over with Liv and Heloise, but Liv was a romantic, and Heloise … well, it hadn’t been the same between them since that awkward confrontation at the apartment. Shiloh’s heart ached for her old college roommate, especially now, seeing Ori and Lucia so close.

  When Benoit was deep in conversation with Maceo and Alex, Ori leaned over to Shiloh. “Are you okay? You seem distracted. Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but if you need to talk ….”

  Shiloh smiled gratefully. “Thank you, but not here.”

  Ori squeezed her hand. “During the week, then. We’ll go for lunch?”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  Ori typed her number into Shiloh’s phone. “Anytime,” she told her, and smiled.

  Later, when Shiloh and Benoit had returned to their suite, they sat out on the balcony that looked over Venice’s lagoon.

  “This really is a magical place,” Shiloh sighed, and Benoit nodded.

  “It is. Did you have a good time tonight, ma chére?”

  Shiloh grinned at him. “Oui, monsieur. Your friends are wonderful. I liked Ori very much. Lucia, too.”

  Benoit nodded. “Maceo is a lucky man. I think Alex has a little crush on Ori.”

  “I saw that too. What’s his story?”

  Benoit told her about Viola, and she was appalled. “That’s too awful.”

  “Isn’t it? Now it looks like the killer is targeting Ori.”

  “God.”

  “Quite. Look, let’s change the subject. Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind?”

  Shiloh smiled at him. “Nothing much. Just wondering how Beau is doing. Liv spoils him when she looks after him. I’ll come home to a rounded pooch.”

  It was weak, but Benoit seemed to accept that and Shiloh sighed gratefully. There was no way she was going to ruin their vacation by telling him about the job. Benoit stood and pulled her into his arms.

  “Come to bed,” he murmured, his rich, deep voice sending thrills through her. As they made love, Shiloh could not imagine giving this up for anything or for anyone. Benoit made love to her slowly, carefully, but as he drove her relentlessly towards orgasm, she suddenly felt like crying. Why does life always come down to choices and compromise? she thought. She hid her tears until she was sure he was asleep, then let them fall unchecked.

  I’m in love with you, damn it. And I have no idea how to let you go …

  It wasn’t often that Ori caught Maceo in a serious mood but lately he had been more pensive than she had ever seen him. It made her nervous. Was he tiring of her? She hoped beyond hope that he wasn’t and, in her heart, she knew that wasn’t it. But sometimes she awoke at night to find him at the window staring out unseeing, lost in thought. She was determined to find out and help him get past it.

  So, she had come up with a plan. Shock him into giving it up. A few nights after the dinner with the friends, they were sitting on his couch watching an old movie, when she spoke up.

  “Maceo … I know something is wrong, and if it’s that there’s another woman, I’d rather you just tell me. Even it’s just that you’re tired of me.”

  Maceo sat up and stared at her with wide eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  Ori smiled at him. “I’m just worried; there’s something bothering you, and it’s driving me crazy not knowing.”

  Maceo sighed and ran his hands over his face. “Bella, it’s not another woman, I swear, and believe me when I say I will never, ever get tired of you. Ever.”

  Ori moved next to him. “Then what is it, my love?”

  Maceo took her hands in his. “Mio caro, it’s about AJ and something he told me before he died. I have kept it from you because … because he told me in confidence, and because I didn’t want to cause you further pain.”

  Ori’s heart was thumping now. Please, please don’t say the words. “Maceo ...” Her voice was barely a whisper. “If it’s what I think you’re going to say … that my stepfather….”

  She trailed off when she saw the truth in his eyes. “Oh God.”

  His own son. His own son.

  Ori stood and darted to the bathroom where she threw up and threw up until she was dry heaving. Maceo held her hair back and cradled her as she sobbed. When her sobs faded, she turned heartbroken eyes to him. “I think I knew. I suspected. Once, I even started to say something to AJ, but he shut me down. I should have made him tell me. I should have protected him.”

  “Sweetheart, AJ knew that if he told you, that you would have attacked Janek. AJ was positive that Janek would have killed you to silence you.”

  Ori grabbed a bath towel and wiped her eyes. “Not if I killed him first,” she said in a low voice, shocking Maceo. She looked at him, anger burning in her eyes. “I should have. I had the chance once. He raped me on my twenty-fifth birthday. He was drunk and fell asleep on top of me. On my nightstand there was a photo frame, a metal one. It had these flowers, and one had this really sharp edge. I’d cut my finger on it lots of times. I lay there with this monster on top of me, asleep, watching the blood pulsing in his neck vein. All I had to do was reach out and grab the frame and….” She mimed slitting his throat. “I could have done it. I should have done it, even if it meant spending my life in prison.�
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  She buried her head in her hands. “Then maybe AJ would still be alive.”

  Maceo wrapped his arms around her, not knowing what to say to comfort her. “We can’t know that, baby, and AJ would not have wanted you locked away for murder.”

  They sat in the bathroom for hours, it seemed, before Maceo carried her to bed. For once they did not make love; they just lay facing each other.

  “I want to destroy him,” Ori said simply, and Maceo nodded.

  “I know. I will help you.”

  She touched his face. “I need to go back to the States.”

  Maceo didn’t look happy, but he agreed. “But with the utmost protection,” he insisted.

  Little did either of them know then that it would not be enough …

  A week before her decision had to be made, Shiloh discovered something else and it changed everything. Everything. In her tiny bathroom, she stared at the plastic stick in her hand and wondered how, in this day and age, she could have been so stupid.

  She knew she couldn’t tell Benoit; either she would look like a gold-digger or an idiot. No, she thought, there’s only one course to take.

  Which was why, that evening, in his opulent kitchen, she cooked a leg of lamb for Benoit, and over a bottle of Merlot, she told him about Africa. He listened carefully, then was silent for a long time. Eventually she grew crazy waiting.

  “Benoit?”

  His dark brown eyes were serious as he gazed at her. “Well, you have to go, obviously.”

  Shiloh swallowed the lump in her throat. “You think so?”

  Benoit reached for her hand. “Shiloh, it’s an amazing opportunity; you’d be a fool to turn it down. This could make your reputation internationally.”

  Shiloh nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Do not cry in front of him. Do not. And for the love of God, woman, grow up. “It is,” she said softly. “Probably the best opportunity of my career.” She realized she was parroting him, but her throat felt choked and she looked away from his gaze.

  “Shiloh,” he said softly. “I’m assuming it’s not forever.”

  “It’s open-ended.”

  “But you’re not tied into a specific time length? You can go or stay as long as you want?”

  She nodded and he got up, moving his chair next to hers. “Sweetheart … I won’t be the man who stops you from reaching your potential. I will not be that. Eventually it will lead to you resenting me. So, I’m saying, you need to do this and you have my full support.”

  But what about us? She desperately wanted to ask him the question but something in his expression was stopping her. Suddenly she felt the fifteen year age difference between them. This man would not be tied down; that much was obvious. If anybody defined eternal bachelor, it was Benoit Vaux.

  Only an incredibly stupid woman would fall in love with such a man, Shiloh thought now sadly. Only a very, very silly woman.

  She suddenly couldn’t wait to get away from him. “I’m so tired tonight, Benoit ...” She softened her words with a smile. “Do you mind taking me back to my apartment?”

  Benoit’s face registered surprise for a beat, then he nodded. “Of course.”

  Alone, Shiloh sat on her favorite armchair, Beau asleep on her lap, her fingers stroking his silky ears. She looked out onto the Paris street, streetlamps reflected in the rain-slicked streets, and sighed. Come on now, she told herself. You were never the type to postpone your life for love. And to do it for a man like Benoit? She had to admit that it stung that he hadn’t asked her to stay, nor made any reference to his waiting for her to return. That wasn’t the way the world worked, she knew. Only in fairy tales did the white knight keep himself chaste for the princess.

  No. Africa it was, and she would focus on that and the tremendous opportunity it was for her. She would book an appointment tomorrow to deal with the other problem. Her fling with Benoit was just that, a fling.

  She just didn’t think she would ever forget him.

  Maceo looked at Ori, his green eyes serious. “Are you sure about this?”

  They had come to New York and, for the last week, had been watching Tyson Janek on the campaign trail rebuilding his sullied reputation, glad-handing the public, kissing babies and holding press conferences.

  His most important speech was today, at New York’s City Hall. A speech about domestic abuse, Ori had told Maceo incredulously, and that disbelief had fueled her determination. Alex had helped them shape their own speech, one which Ori would deliver to Tyson’s face, in front of his public, the press, and his political colleagues. His career would be in tatters, and Ori could not wait. She smiled at Maceo now.

  “One hundred percent.”

  They were riding in the car with Alex, making their way through the New York traffic. Ori was wearing an elegant but classy navy dress, a string of pearls at her throat. Again, Alex had advised her on looking the part, and Ori was grateful to Maceo’s friend.

  “They will try and paint you as a nut-job,” he had said, the previous evening when they were finalizing her plan, “A hysteric. A bitter attention seeker. Forgive me, Ori. I’m giving you both the worst-case scenario here.”

  “That’s not the worst-case scenario,” Maceo had argued, his handsome face lined with concern. “The worst case, my darling, is Tyson coming after you, hurting you. Killing you.”

  Alex shook his head. “Will not happen, Maceo, we have the security team in place.”

  Maceo did not look happy but Ori put her arms around her lover and kissed him. “I’ll be fine. Once the police and the press have all the information and evidence we have, he won’t be able to touch me.”

  “He may think he will have nothing left to lose,” Maceo said, not convinced, but Ori would not be talked down.

  “It’s time,” she said firmly, “For AJ. For myself.”

  So now, as they edged closer to City Hall, Ori was nervous, but ready. At the reception area, she could see the press and Tyson’s security team gathering. Alex had contacts, however, and they were soon being ushered backstage and into a small dressing room where they would stay until Janek was already speaking.

  “I must warn you,” the aide said in a low voice, “that Congressman Janek is in the next room, so keep your voices low.”

  Ori thanked the man. He smiled at her. “Really, it’s my pleasure. About time someone brought that asshole down.” He left them alone, promising to come back when the time was right.

  Maceo had his arm locked around Oro’s waist. “So proud of you right now,” he murmured, his mouth next to her ear. She turned to meet his gaze and a rush of love swept through her. She could not imagine her life without this glorious man; it barely seemed possible that there was a time when she hadn’t known him. Alex hovered slightly awkwardly on the opposite side of the room.

  The aide returned, nodding at them. “It’s time.” As they walked to the press room, the aide ran through what Tyson was talking about. “I’ve primed a journalist to ask a leading question, something to throw him off so that you can start to speak. Mr. Bartoli and Mr. Milland’s men will hold back Janek’s security if it’s required, but my guess is that he won’t want to make extra drama.”

  Ori nodded, her heart hammering in her chest. Alex waited outside of the room. As they reached the back of the room, Maceo stayed back so Tyson wouldn’t see him over the crowd. Ori, as petite as she was, easily slid behind a tall press man. The aide nodded to her when she heard a female journalist ask a question.

  “Congressman Janek, why the timing of this bill? Isn’t it just a sop to the women who abandoned you in droves during your recent scandal?”

  “Not at all,” Tyson said smoothly. “Domestic abuse and women’s rights have long been at the top of my agenda.”

  “Really? I had heard different,” the journalist said, her voice hard. Ori drew in a deep breath. Tyson chuckled patronizingly.

  “And what had you heard, my dear?”

  Ori stepped out from behind the other journalist and sta
rted to walk towards Tyson. “She’s heard about the many, many times you raped me, Janek, your own stepdaughter, the first time when I was 13 years old.” She spoke in a clear voice which, to her amazement, didn’t shake.

  A gasp went up in the room and Tyson Janek went white when he saw her. Ori walked steadily to the podium and took the mic from Tyson. “For those of you who don’t know, my name is Orianthi Roy and, until my mother’s death, this man was my stepfather. Over the years, until I finally broke free, he subjected me to rape, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. He has, on many occasions, threatened to kill me. I imagine he’s thinking about doing that to me right now, aren’t you, Tyson?”

  Tyson’s mouth was flapping open and shut, his shock almost rendering him numb. Out of the corner of Ori’s eye, she could see his security men edging forward but Maceo and Alex were stepping into the room and their security teams were at the ready.

  The journalists in the room were silent. Ori dragged a shaky breath into her lungs. “But, believe it or not, that’s not the worst thing this man has done. Not by a long shot. Many of you might know that he had a son, Adam James. AJ ...” She turned her dark eyes onto Tyson’s pale face and saw murder in his eyes. Murder and desperation.

  “AJ was my brother,” Ori said, her voice cracking. “My brother—and your son. And you raped him. Continuously. Brutally. From the time he was five years old until the day he committed himself to the mental health facility.”

  The room exploded, journalists jumping up and screaming questions. Tyson’s security team rushed the stage and Maceo and Alex’s men tackled them as Maceo darted to get to Ori. Tyson lunged for her, tackling her to the floor before anyone could stop him. His lips at her ear, he growled, “You’re dead, Ori. I swear to God, I will kill you for this.”