She laughs and shakes her head. “Honey, that’s fun!”
Shaking my head, I say, “No, that’s not the part I had a problem with. You see, the night before, he showed me some things about the way he likes to be intimate and I liked them too. I liked them a lot and maybe he got the wrong idea about me. Maybe he got the idea that I was a slut and he could do anything he wanted to me. I don’t know. All I know is the man went too far.”
“Like what?” she asks as her eyes go even wider. “Did he beat you with whips or chains? My first husband was into that and I liked it at first then it got old.”
“No, he didn’t do that. I kind of half-ass expected that and was prepared for something along those lines. No, what he did was worse. He violated my trust,” I say as I can’t seem to get the words to come out of my mouth.
“How’d he do that, Camilla?” she asks. “Did he hurt you, physically?”
“No,” I say then walk away to find my cup of coffee.
She follows me to the checkout counter and seems to be confused. “He simply violated your trust, you say. But tell me how he did that.”
I find my stomach knotting up as I recall it all and have to run to the bathroom. “I’m going to be sick.”
Gina waits and says, “My God! What did he do to you?”
I barely make it to the bathroom before it all comes up. Everything I’ve eaten all day, which wasn’t much as my appetite has been non-existent. Splashing water on my face, I look at my reflection and want to cry.
I see the same woman I was yesterday at this time but I know I’m different now. I’m a woman who has been with another woman. When people ask, I will have to say that I’ve dabbled in that department and that makes me furious at Cyprian. That should’ve been my call, not his!
I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t feel good, what she did to me. But I thought it was him the whole time and that’s where my head is all fucked up. My heart is pounding and I lean against the wall to stop myself from hyperventilating as I’m breathing hard and fast. “Stop. Calm down.”
Finally, I manage to catch my breath and go back out into the store. Several customers have come in and I see Gina waiting on one of them. A nice-looking man comes up to me and asks, “Excuse me, do you keep the condoms behind the counter or something? I can’t find any out on the shelves.
Anger boils up inside of me and I shout, “Pervert!” Then I spin around and go to the walk-in cooler and try to stop shaking with the anger that’s consuming me.
Tears well up and I can’t stop them. I run out of the cooler, going to the counter and grab my things and leave the store without saying a word because I can’t talk right now.
Everyone is watching me as I haul ass to my car and then I stop, dead in my tracks as Cyprian is standing next to it. I look around and don’t see any of his cars. He’s gotten dropped off, so I have to take him home. “No!” I turn around and start running.
I have no idea where I’m going but I’m running like the wind to get away from him. He’s not going to pull me back down to where he’s at. I’m not going!
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrap around me, stopping me. “Hey there. What’s wrong?”
I blink to try to get some of the tears out of my eyes and when I can see, I see it’s the guy who asked me out once. “Sorry, I have to go.” I look over my shoulder and see Cyprian coming my way.
“Hold her for me, will you?” he calls out to the man holding my arms.
“Oh my God,” I say under my breath. “Please let me go. Don’t let him get me.”
“Did he do something to you, Camilla?” the guy asks me and I nod.
This guy is nowhere nearly as built as Cyprian and I get afraid for him, immediately when he says, “Hold up there, buddy. He says you did something to her.”
I cower into the man’s chest and pray he decides to let me go, so I can run away from Cyprian. A few more people circle around us as the guy has brought more attention to us all.
Cyprian gets close enough to whisper, “Are you happy now, Cami? You’ve caused a scene with your theatrics.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Come on.”
I look up at the man with terror in my eyes. “Don’t let him take me. Please.”
He looks at Cyprian. “Tell you what. Why don’t you leave her alone for a while? It seems you two have had a fight or something and she needs to calm down.”
“Cami, come on,” Cyprian says again. “You know I’ve never hurt you and I never will. Now come on. Stop being so dramatic. We need to talk.”
Gina comes outside and shouts, “Should I call the cops, Camilla?”
“Should she?” Cyprian asks me. “Or should you stop being crazy?”
Now he’s made me mad and I find my backbone straightening as my courage builds. “You know what, you’re right.” I look around at everyone that’s gathered around us. “Come on, Cyprian, I’m taking you home.”
“That’s better,” he says as the guy lets me go and Cyprian and I walk, side by side, to my car.
Gina’s looking at me with confusion. “You going home, Camilla?”
“I am. Clock me out, please. I have some business to take care of.”
She gives me a nod and I walk away with the man who doesn’t realize he’s about to get his ass handed to him. His arm runs around my shoulders as he leans in close. “You had me worried, baby.”
“You should be,” I say as I unlock the passenger door and open it for him then walk around to get into the driver’s seat. He looks at me with an odd expression then gets into the car.
I suppose he thinks he can handle me but he’s far from being right. I slip into the seat and start the car up and leave the parking lot, nice and slow. The group of people is still lingering around, to make sure things are okay, I’m sure.
“Cami, I couldn’t think about anything today except for the fact you’re mad at me,” he says and puts his hand over mine.
I move it after I change to fourth gear and shake my head. “I don’t care.”
“You must,” he says as he reaches up and pulls the rubber band, that’s holding my hair in a ponytail, out. My hair cascades over my shoulders and he takes a lock of it and pulls it to his nose, taking a sniff. “I missed this scent this morning when I woke up, alone.”
I don’t bother to speak as I’m mentally preparing myself for what I’m going to say to get him to understand, we are through. The gate comes up and I punch in the code and in we go.
When I stop in front of his door, he looks at me for a second then grabs the keys, turning off my car and yanking them out of the ignition then getting out of the car.
My first instinct is to scream at him as panic floods my system. Then I realize he’ll be handing them back in no time and telling me to get the hell out of here.
So, I get out and walk behind him as I take off my green smock and toss it in the open passenger window as I pass by it. I crack my neck and knuckles and find him looking back to see what’s making the noise. “You thinking about hitting me?”
I shake my head. “You thinking about trying to get me to change my mind about you?”
He nods and punches in the security code on his door then opens it and we go inside. He takes my hand and leads me all the way through the house and out to the garage. Placing my keys on the pegboard, he takes the Lambo keys off it and hands them to me. “I’m giving you the Lambo, Cami.” He reaches into his inside jacket pocket and pulls out a paper. “I put the title in your name today. It’s yours now.”
I take the keys and step to one side then look at him and smile. “No, thank you.” I place them back on the pegboard and take mine back. “And you can wipe your ass with that fucking title, you prick.”
Turning to go back inside and leave, I feel his hand on my shoulder. “Cami, just stop being this way. It doesn’t suit you at all.”
Spinning back, I throw my hand back to slap the shit out of him but he grabs my wrist just before I can connect. “Damn you!”
“I’m not going to let you hit me, Cami.” He pulls me along with him and we end up in the kitchen. “You look pale and I’m sure you haven’t eaten much today.” He doesn’t let me go as he gets something out of a bag on the countertop. “I picked this up for you on the way home. It’s a cheese burger and you’re going to eat all of it.”
“Sure,” I say as I take a seat on a tall stool at the island in the middle of the huge kitchen. “Suddenly, I am very hungry.” I take the burger and begin to eat it. He lets my wrist go and looks at me with a wary expression.
“What can I get you to drink?” he asks as he makes his way to the fridge.
“A beer. Better make that three of them. I don’t care what kind. Something strong, none of that light shit,” I say and take another bite. I’m preparing myself for battle and I’ll be damned if I go into it with an empty stomach and no stones to tell him what I think of him.
He places one beer on the countertop. “Let’s start with one, shall we?”
Looking right into his dark eyes, I pick up the beer and down it. Placing the empty bottle back down, I say, “Another please.”
He frowns and takes the empty bottle, tossing it into the recycling bin. I watch him get another one out of the fridge as I take another bite. The burger is delicious and I want to ask him where he got it but that would be too conversational and I don’t want to have a conversation with the man. I want to piss him off. And I want to do it, thoroughly!
Sliding the beer to me, he takes the seat next to me. “About last night.”
I hold up my hand. “I don’t want to talk about that. I’m eating and that subject matter makes me sick.”
He nods and looks away. “I thought about that. I thought about if you’d done that to me. Not another woman, as that would be fine but another man. I did find it to be a thing I wouldn’t want.”
“Great. Too late for me, though,” I say as I take another bite, followed by a drink of the beer. “You say if I brought a woman in and had her suck your cock and screw you that you’d like that, huh?”
“Yes,” he says as looks at me. “I have done that many, many times, after all.”
“And you should get back to that, Cyprian. You really should. You need to leave me the hell alone and get back to the life you know and love. Don’t let me stop you or get in your way,” I say as I slam back the rest of the beer. “How about another?”
“You’re going to get drunk?” he says but gets up to get me another beer.
“I am. I am going to get drunk tonight and wash this shit out of my mind. I am going to get back to the woman I was before I met you.” I take the last bite of the burger and watch him as he looks back at me with defiance dancing in his dark eyes.
“I see.” He brings me another beer but keeps it in his hand as he takes my hand and pulls me up, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you, Camilla Petit.” He brings his lips toward mine.
“If your lips touch mine, they will be met with a bite,” I say and find him stopping.
“You told me you loved me, only yesterday. How could you stop so quickly? Unless you were only telling me what you thought I wanted to hear?”
“I thought I loved you. But that was before I knew you for the real man you are. A pervert who destroys women’s trust.”
“If you call me a pervert one more time, I may find it necessary to punish you, Camilla.” His eyes dart back and forth as if he’s being serious.
“If you lay a hand on me, you will bring back a stub, Cyprian. I am not the woman to think you can do that to.” I level my eyes on his and find him letting me out of the hold he had on me.
“You have too much anger going through you still. I thought, by now, you’d have come to your senses about last night. It wasn’t ugly or perverted. You looked beautiful. I watched the recording many times and you’re face and body told me you did enjoy it.” He walks away from me, slowly.
“You would watch it over and over again. Tell me how you liked the part where I slapped the shit out of you,” I say then grab the beer he’s placed on the counter.
My body is about to start shaking as he reminds me about last night. I take a drink and blink back the burning of the tears that are threatening me, yet again. “I’ve thrown up more today than I ever have, and I had the flu once. I’ve cried more too. Are you still sure I enjoyed that?”
“You did, until your misplaced morals got in your way. It’s merely sex, Cami. Nothing more than that. It’s people making others experience pleasure. You’re making it into something society has changed it into.” He slips his jacket off and then unbuttons his white shirt and takes it off. “My body can bring your body much pleasure and vice versa. So why are you fighting everything so hard?”
“You should never have done that, Cyprian. And the fact you won’t apologize and keep shoving it down my throat, tells me who you really are and I don’t like that man. You know many women who will do what you want. Go to them.” I take another drink as he eyes me like a wolf does its prey.
“Camilla Petit, I have set my sights on you. It is you I want and need. I crave you. I was willing to change for you. When I found, you liked the same things I do, well, I had to venture out and see if you could really be a part of the me I was. If you think you can’t then I can change.”
I shake my head. “I have never asked you to change for me. Not once. I have repeatedly told you not to. While I liked what you and I did, alone, I don’t see myself ever wanting more than you in my bed. But for a moment, let me stick this picture in your head. Me in bed with you and another man. Let that little picture sink in, Cyprian.”
“That’s not a thing I’ve ever done. I like to be the dominate one in the bedroom. I like to rule over the women I bring to it. I like to orchestrate the scene to satisfy us all. And I’d like you at my side while I do that.”
“I don’t want your dick in any other female, or male, for that matter. I don’t want your lips on anyone else’s either. I don’t want their mouth on you, anywhere. I want you all to myself. It may sound selfish but here, in normal society, it’s widely accepted.” I place the beer on the counter and bait him some more. “So, I’m going to ask you something and see if you see fit to give me what I want.”
“Shoot,” he says. “The world is at your fingertips, baby.”
“This Friday night, take me to your father’s party and let me have sex with another man while you watch. If you like seeing me being aroused by another person, that is.” I watch his face go into a blank expression and his Adam’s apple lurches in his throat as he swallows hard.
“I thought you had to have feelings for a man before you allowed him to have sex with you? God knows you made me wait,” he says as he looks into my eyes. I think he’s trying to see if I’m serious.
I’m not sure if I am or not. But I say, “Since you brought a person into me who I had no feelings for, I figure why not do it with a random man too. Fuck, I’ve already been desecrated, what’s one more? And this time a man.”
Pacing in front of me, he seems to be thinking. I see a vein start to thump in his forehead. I’ve never seen that happened before. Finally, he stops and looks at me. “I can’t do that. I can’t see another man’s hands on you, much less him taking you.”
“But you let that woman take me,” I say and watch him shake his head.
“It’s not the same. I suppose it’s because she can’t get you pregnant and a man can. I don’t know, exactly. I just know I can’t stand to even think about another man on you, in you. The thought, alone, makes me crazy. And why would you even want that, if you love me?” he glares at me as I shrug.
“I’m just saying if you think watching another woman give me pleasure is what gets you off then why not let another man do it too?”
“Look, I can live my life never seeing that again. I can do whatever it is you want. You want a plain, old, boring sex life? I can deal with that. God knows I’ve had enough wild sex already.” He moves around the counter to come to me.
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I get up and move away from him. “Boring sex life? Is that what you think I want? Is that how you felt when it was only you and me?”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re putting words into my mouth.” He comes toward me and grabs my arm before I can get away.
Pulling me into his arms, he puts his hand under my T-shirt. His hand closes over one of my breasts and I take in a sharp breath. “Cyprian, no.”
“I take responsibility for hurting you, Cami. I promise to never do that again. Now, can we get back to where we were? I want you. I’ll do anything for you.” His lips touch my ear then he bites my earlobe. “I’m addicted to you. You’re sweeter than any drug ever made.”
I press my hands against his chest as he’s driving my body crazy. “Cyprian, please don’t do this to me. I can’t,” I say but his mouth is on mine, stopping me from saying another word.
My mind is telling me to push him away and leave but my body is craving the man. He takes one of my hands and wraps it around his neck then he picks me up and carries me with him.
I want to stop kissing him, I want to stop liking it. I want to have more will power. But it’s fading fast. The anger is fading.
He lays me on a sofa and touches something on the table and fire springs to life in a fireplace. “I love you, Cami. Forgive me.”
I stare into his eyes and see more in them than I did before. Maybe he does love me. But do I love him, anymore?
Sitting up, I stand up and shake my head. “I can’t right now. I don’t trust you. I don’t know if you can earn it again. Plus, the fact you still think you’d like to have sex with other women is a huge red flag.”
He grabs my hand as I try to leave. “So, my honesty has cost me. Is that what you’re saying? Because I don’t want to be in a relationship if it means I have to hide things about myself or lie.”
“You still don’t get it, Cyprian. I thought you told me you were a child prodigy? When did you stop listening? I want you to be whoever the hell you want to be. I will accept who you are or I won’t. At this point, who you are right now, well, I can’t be with you. I have to be able to trust you and I can’t right now.”
Dirty Little Virgin: A Submissives’ Secrets Novel Page 213