“To General Tarallan, too, it seems,” he said. “You must be friends, that he uses your praenoma.”
“We are,” I said.
Cederic linked his fingers with mine. “And he is in love with you,” he said.
“I was hoping you couldn’t tell,” I said.
“Better for both of us that I could,” he said. “I might have said or done any number of cruel things in my ignorance.”
“I was afraid you might be…” I trailed off because I wasn’t sure what I’d thought Cederic might be. Jealous? Angry?
“Is it too arrogant for me to say I am certain of your love for me?” Cederic said. “I understand perfectly why a powerful, honorable man might fall in love with you, Sesskia. And I could see by your behavior you feel nothing more for him than friendship. So no, I feel no jealousy other than what I feel toward everyone who was able to share your companionship these past weeks when I could not. Sadness, possibly—though not enough that I would be willing to stand aside and allow him to win your heart.”
“Now I’m annoyed you think I need your permission to fall in love with someone,” I said, teasing him.
“Not permission, certainly,” he said, straight-faced again, “but I assure you if I thought there were someone you felt an attraction to, I would do everything in my power to remind you I am the superior choice.”
“I already know that,” I said, which set us to kissing again.
Now I’m feeling sleepy—I still don’t have a watch, so I don’t know what time it is, but I’ll have to sum up the rest. We arrived at the Castaviran tent, and Cederic tethered his collenna—they don’t stop moving until the magic runs out naturally, so the…paddock, maybe? The place where they keep them, anyway—it’s full of these giant black beetles straining at their leashes, which is fun to watch for a few minutes, and then it’s boring.
I watched them for more than a few minutes while Cederic gave orders concerning the Balaenics who were following, then he took my hand and we went to his command tent, where Sovrin stopped talking to a couple of men in an unfamiliar uniform, shrieked, and flung herself on me, hugging me until we both cried. Then it was Audryn, who looked so tired because SHE IS PREGNANT and I can’t believe Cederic failed to tell me this!
We had a long talk, Sovrin and Audryn and I, while Cederic was off with his generals, and then with our people (I mean the Balaenics), and Audryn said she still felt embarrassed about becoming pregnant, because in Castavir the women are solely responsible for contraception if that’s what they want, and it’s a big semi-religious thing. And on their wedding night, Audryn was so happy about Terrael loving her and miserable over Cederic’s humiliation she didn’t take any precautions, and it only took the one time. (“Four or five times,” she said later, grinning.)
So what with that and with Terrael being suicidally depressed, she had a rough couple of weeks. And she was bearing the burden of her pregnancy alone because—I didn’t understand this very well, but I guess there’s some stigma attached to becoming pregnant when you haven’t said your legal vows in front of a priest, and she felt ashamed about telling anyone.
But eventually she broke down and started shouting at Terrael while he was curled up in that black despair, and the knowledge that he was going to be a father managed to wake him up, and now everything’s fine, except they still haven’t said their vows, and I guess that’s not good. But Terrael—Cederic was right that he’s changed; he’s openly sharing a tent with Audryn, and while he’s still eager and bright, he’s not bouncing with excitement all the time anymore. And I like the change.
Audryn being pregnant woke me up a bit, because Cederic and I haven’t taken any precautions either. I’m definitely not ready for a baby, not while everything is so uncertain, and I didn’t think I could put the burden of responsibility on my husband the way we do in Balaen, so I flitted north up the Royal Road a few miles to a respectably-sized Balaenic city and found an apothecary who had what I needed. Because there was no way in hell I was not sleeping with Cederic that night.
And I did. And it was wonderful. Those camp beds are pretty narrow, but there’s plenty of room for two people who love each other to sleep close together—and plenty of room for them to show that love to each other if they’re creative. Which we were. More than once.
Cederic looks so relaxed now. He fell asleep before I did, and I didn’t wake him getting out of bed, so I can imagine how exhausted he must have been. My heart aches to think of how he must have suffered, not knowing if I was alive, having to bring Colosse out of the flames of riot, fighting absolutely everyone to take control of the government, knowing he would have to hand that control over to a weak king—I don’t know how he learned what kind of man Garran Clendessar is, but he knows well the odds of Balaen’s King being a good ruler of two countries are small. I hope our being reunited makes Cederic’s work easier. I know I feel better having his strength behind me.
I think I can sleep now. Tomorrow—hah, later today—we’ll meet with the generals of both armies and plan a strategy. And then we move out. Two days, and we’ll be at the gates of Venetry. I hope it’s not too late.
Chapter Twenty-Four
24 Seresstine, evening
I’m taking advantage of Cederic being in yet another meeting with his generals—with our, I mean the Balaenic, generals too, discussing what both armies are going to do when we arrive in Venetry tomorrow. It will probably be late tomorrow, too, and I gather that’s part of the discussion, deciding whether to attack immediately or camp and look threatening. Cederic wants to send an envoy demanding they turn over the God-Empress to us, see if we can avoid fighting altogether, and I think that’s probably the way they’ll go.
No wonder Cederic was so tired; the Castaviran Army is composed of several divisions the way the Balaenic Army is, and their generals all argue like cats in a sack. Even he has trouble keeping them all focused on their goal. Having seen them, I can understand how having the King of Balaen ruling Castavir is the best of a lot of bad options.
I rode with the Balaenic mages all morning, telling them the whole story of my experiences in Castavir before the convergence, and about how Castaviran magic works, and answering all their questions. The first questions were almost entirely about my personal life; they met Cederic this morning, when he came back with me to our camp, and they were curious about him and the other Castaviran mages. A few of them wanted to know how Jeddan was going to feel about it, since it seems some of our people thought he and I were romantically involved. I wanted to laugh at that.
The rest of the questions were about Castaviran magic. They’re all deeply interested in the possibilities inherent in th’an and pouvrin being related, and we talked about the binding pouvra (some of them may have learned it, but since it doesn’t do anything, there’s no way to tell) and the concealment pouvra, and one or two of them asked about doing it the other way—turning a pouvra into a th’an or kathana. I hadn’t thought of that before, but of course it’s just as possible (or impossible) as making a pouvra out of th’an. Something to work on after we capture the God-Empress.
After we stopped for lunch, I rode with Cederic, who was heartbreakingly glad to see me even though we’d only been separated for a few hours, and we talked about the King of Balaen. Cederic said what they knew of him was built out of conversations the translator mages had had with Balaenic citizens as they went through the country building good will.
(All that noise Mattiak made about the center of Balaen being conquered by Castavir was based on our not receiving messengers from those cities, but that was because most of them were busy trying to communicate with their new Castaviran neighbors. And he might have been exaggerating a bit in his attempt to win my heart.)
Cederic had inferred correctly that the King allowed the Chamber to make most of the policy decisions that affected the average Balaenic citizen, and that his presence was felt sporadically as he took up new enthusiasms and then let them fall, usually before he’d co
mpleted whatever project it was. The citizens the mages had spoken to were respectful of the King, but he was a very distant part of their lives.
I told Cederic what I’d observed of King and Chamber, how the King was motivated primarily by fear for the security of his reign, and how he’d wanted to keep the entire corps of mages in Venetry for his personal protection no matter how that affected the defense of the country. I also told him what I knew of the Chamber Lords, especially my suspicions that Crossar believes himself better qualified to hold the throne than Garran Clendessar. “You should watch out for him,” I said. “He’s the one most likely to object to your plan.”
“From what you have said, it’s likely he would do so obliquely,” Cederic said. “If he can be persuaded he will wield greater power as a member of our new council, it might keep him contained. It also helps that he has no personal army. He is much like Perce Aselfos, personally ambitious but dependent on others for the resources he needs to pursue those ambitions.”
“Where is Aselfos?” I said. “Still in Colosse? What happened to him?”
“He and General Regates were unable to maintain control of the army after the convergence,” Cederic said. “The entire army, I should say; they controlled about two-thirds of it. He approached me about throwing my support behind him, after it became clear our mages had succeeded in pacifying much of the city where the army could not. I told him he would, in fact, throw his support behind me, and he has proved to be a capable ally who has learned leadership is not to his taste, after all.”
“I wish I’d been able to hear that conversation,” I said.
“As do I,” Cederic said. “So how do you suggest I approach the King?”
I considered that for a bit. “Don’t give any more of your attention to the Chamber Lords than you have to for politeness’s sake,” I said eventually. “Make it clear you think the decision should be made entirely by him. He responds well to that kind of flattery—I mean, if you tried to tell him how smart and wise he is, he’d know you were playing him, but displaying respect for him as the King…I don’t think he gets that very often, because everyone knows how powerful the Chamber Lords are. And make sure he sees how confident you are, because that will make him feel better about himself, like he’s good enough to command the respect of someone like you.” I fingered the neck of his robe. “And find something nicer to wear. He won’t know what a Kilios is, so you’ll look like a poor supplicant to him.”
“This robe belonged to the first Kilios,” Cederic said, “but I take your meaning.” He sketched another th’an on the faceplate, making the collenna shift its direction, and said, “Will you stand with me before him?”
“I don’t know. Do you think I should?” I said.
He sighed. “I would like to say yes,” he said, “but since your King knows who you are, it is likely he would see your presence at my side as a betrayal, and he would be even more fearful. But I think we should find a way for you to be present, and not only because it would give me strength. You and your mages represent a new power in Balaen, and I think if Garran Clendessar could be convinced you support him, he would feel as if he were treating with Castavir on a better than equal footing. I’m told your mages tore through ours like this collenna plows through snow.”
“It was a lot harder than that,” I said, “and most of it was luck and cleverness rather than power. Castaviran magic is still more flexible.”
“The goal is to bring the two together,” he said. “We have not had leisure to examine the possibilities, but now the worlds are united, we should be able to discover what magic was meant to be. Master Peressten believes the unified magic will be far more powerful than either Balaenic or Castaviran individually, but not what that unified magic is. We know only that it is not as simple as combining Balaenic and Castaviran magics, but, as with so many other things, the project has been pushed aside in favor of other things.”
“I have the same problem,” I said. “I could only justify learning the flitting pouvra—oh! I never showed you that.”
“Showed me what?” he said.
I directed him to turn to one side, out of the path of the main army, then jumped out of the collenna—this was hard, it was still moving pretty fast—and before he could do more than shout, I flitted ahead a couple hundred feet and dodged out of his way as he once again sped past me. I did it a few more times until the magic on the collenna faded and it slowed enough that I could jump back on. Cederic looked as if he’d turned to stone. “Amazing, huh?” I said.
“Please give me time to overcome my urge to shout at you for leaping from a moving collenna,” he said.
“It wasn’t dangerous,” I said. “Well, not very dangerous. And don’t you think that pouvra is wonderful?”
“I do,” he said. “It is a kind of magic we have lost; we know of its existence, but no mage has ever been able to replicate the kathana. Where did you learn it?”
“It’s one of the ones our new mages spontaneously manifested after the convergence,” I said. “Only Jerussa and I know it, though Jeddan might have learned it by now, if he had time during the siege.”
“We will—” He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, then released it slowly. “It is one more thing we can investigate when the former Empress is defeated and our countries have become one,” he said. “I look forward to resuming my academic pursuits.”
“Will you be able to? It seems as though they all look to you for guidance,” I said.
He took my hands in his and said, “Once the King of Balaen has been crowned Emperor of Castavir, I will direct the formation of his guiding council. It is perhaps not truly my responsibility, but I think I command enough respect that my decisions will be given great weight. And I think it is important this council be composed of individuals who can…balance the new Emperor’s impulses. Then I will take up the mantle of most high priest—I cannot avoid that—and set about reorganizing the priesthood to have meaningful power rather than representing the whims of Renatha Torenz.
“But when that is done, and when I feel the priest-mages can manage themselves, I will be able to resume a semi-private life, conducting ritual on holy days but otherwise free to pursue my own interests.” He sighed again. “I regret that I cannot continue as Wrelan of the Darssan, but there are other organizations in Colosse that would not mind admitting me to their number.”
I laughed at that. “Yes, I’m sure it will be a struggle for them to decide whether to make Cederic Aleynten part of their group.”
“My rank is sometimes intimidating,” Cederic said, “and there are those whose pride would resist giving me a chance to outshine them. But I will find something—or start my own institution, perhaps.” He put his arm around me and squeezed gently. “And outside pressures will no longer dictate what we do.”
I leaned into his embrace and said, “There are so many things I’ve had to put off as well. I’m reluctant to make plans until we know for sure what will happen. I’m used to adapting as circumstances change, but that was when my plans involved sneaking into some treasury after a forgotten book, and circumstances changing meant taking the roofs instead of the stairs. I don’t want to get excited about the future only to have it change under my feet.”
“I understand,” Cederic said. “Although I would like to know if children are part of any of your futures.”
I was glad I wasn’t in a position to meet his gaze. “Maybe,” I said. “Mam wasn’t the best example of parenting. I’m not sure how good I’d be at it. But I’m willing to discuss it, after everything…however things fall out.”
“Understood,” he said, and if I hadn’t known I loved him before, I would have discovered it then, because he didn’t say anything like “you’ll be a wonderful mother” or “you don’t have to be like your parents,” just held me and said nothing as we rode along. After a while, we started talking again, mostly about strategies my warrior mages might use if it did come to fighting against the God-Empress’s tro
ops, or tricks we might use against the battle mages. Occasionally one of us would say something that reminded the other of something that had happened while we were apart, so we’d tell that story.
About mid-afternoon we came to the place where the Castaviran Army was going to camp; they were stopping early to give the Balaenic Army time to catch up. Our army (I still think of Balaen as my country) broke camp before sunrise and were marching at their fastest speed, and they managed to come within four miles of the Castaviran camp by sundown. I went back to our camp to have dinner with the mages and talk about what Cederic and I had discussed, then flitted to the Castaviran camp, and that brings me to now.
I know I said I don’t like making plans when there’s no guarantee they’ll work out properly, but it’s hard not to imagine what will happen once we have the God-Empress in custody. I have no idea how the King will react to Cederic’s proposal. He might even think it’s a trick and reject it on those grounds. I pray the true God he believes Cederic and sees the virtue of ruling both countries.
It will still be hard. Cederic’s assurances aside, I can’t help thinking a lot of Castavirans will be unhappy about being ruled by a foreign monarch. The communication barrier is still a problem. There will be land disputes, which will mean disputes over who gets to arbitrate the land disputes. But this is how the world is now. People will eventually come around. Maybe Viravon will get its independence, even.
Damn. I started making plans. All right, the only plan I have is to spend the night with my husband, whenever he finally comes to bed. Sex might be involved, but what I want more than anything is to wake the way I did this morning: snuggled up against a warm body, with loving arms wrapped around me, and the most beloved voice in the world murmuring “Good morning” into my ear. It was almost better than sex.
Almost.
25 Seresstine, mid-morning
I’m writing this in the wagon, which is why my handwriting is so uneven. This would be an awful drive in the summer, with dust kicked up by the horses and the wagons and the thousands of marching feet. Right now it’s bumpy despite the excellent condition of the road. Everyone’s straining for a glimpse of Venetry, hoping not to see smoke rising from behind its walls. I considered riding with Cederic, out in front of both armies, but decided it was better I stay with the mages in case we come under attack and my direction is needed. Besides, I can be at the head of the Castaviran Army in less than a minute if I’m needed there instead.
The Wandering Mage (Convergence Book 2) Page 31