Instakill!
Held by a small black cloud, the woman lowers to the ground in front of the critically injured samsquanch.
The mysterious woman wears white fur and her bosom is exposed. Her clothing is tight, her legs wrapped in furry boots. Around her neck, attached to a golden band, is the final runestone.
Instakill!
She finishes off the samsquanch and turns to Ryuk with a grin on her face. “You’ve brought me the other two runestones, yes?”
Skadi Level 48
HP: 3315/3315
ATK: 217
MATK: 369
DEF: 281
MDF: 413
LUCK: 28
It’s her! Ryuk’s mind cries.
Fury in his eyes, Wolf rushes towards the woman and is tossed backwards by a great bolt of black lightning.
Instakill!
Enway points her wand at the woman, her hand trembling. “Give us the final runestone.”
Skadi laughs. “If only it were that simple.” Her lips lift into a snarl. “But I will make this quick.”
Black lightning swirls up her arms and groups around her neck. Sleek, electrified dark armor moves down her body until it appears as if she’s in a sparkling black bodysuit.
Her eyes flash yellow and a sinister smile forms on her face. “Ready?”
.23. Class Act
Yangu cries out and lowers his head, his throat puffing as he prepares to freeze Skadi solid. Ryuk’s never seen him so focused, so charged. The blue scales on the back of his neck have lifted, his red eyes are fixed and furious.
“No!”
Ryuk watches in horror as a bolt of black lightning strikes the young snow dragon. His scales sizzle, and he screeches in agony as he falls to the ground.
Yangu’s body quivers as he tries to get back up off the ground.
Instakill!
“Fuck you!” Ryuk unloads a magazine of explosive molten marbles at the woman, his marbles completely absorbed as they connect with her electric black armor.
Once his round is finished, bubbles of magic begin moving across the front of her armor. She stands, her legs wide and her chest now exposed.
The bubbles lift off her chest plate and fly back towards Ryuk.
-253 HP! Critical hit!
Getting a taste of his own medicine is something Ryuk didn’t expect from the powerful mage. He sails backwards, his Dream Armor barely stopping the spread of the molten marble.
“Ryuk!” Enway points her wand at the terrible mage. “Chrono Statis!”
The woman grins as she absorbs the pink magic. “Interesting spell,” she says, her brow furrowing. Skadi points her finger at Enway and whispers, “Chrono Stasis.”
Ryuk, still trying to get his bearings, looks to see Enway completely frozen in time. Even though she can’t move, he can see fear in her eyes.
Skadi takes a few steps closer to Enway, and as she does, Ryuk fires off a message to Hiccup.
Ryuk: Everyone is dead. Enway is almost gone. Where the fuck are you?
Ryuk goes for his Magic Slingshot and loads a clear marble in it. Come on, he thinks as he pulls back on the pocket.
“Remove buff!”
Fwhiip!
The marble strikes the woman and bounces off the front of her armor. She stops and turns to Ryuk, just as he comes up with his Marble Gun, this time with a mag of half black and half sword marbles.
The sword marble is the first to leave the weapon.
It stretches into its full capacity as it zips through the air towards Skadi.
Ryuk gasps as the powerful mage sidesteps his attack.
Able to move again, Enway tries to pivot away from Skadi just as a black bolt of lightning strikes her in the back.
Instakill!
“Shit!”
Ryuk: FeeTwix, we’re dying here!
FeeTwix: I’m almost at Lothar’s. I’ll be there as soon as I can! Just hold them off; run if you have to.
Ryuk look over his shoulder at the wall of rock and ice.
He glances right to the edge of the ice wall. His Extreme Focus causes something on the ice castle wall to light up and an idea comes to him.
“It is useless,” Skadi says, lifting her hand.
A determined look on his face, Ryuk points to his eleven o’clock and finishes his mag. His sword and explosive marbles strike the exposed ledge, which causes a small avalanche of snow and ice to descend upon Skadi.
Figuring this is the distraction he needs, Ryuk turns right, his fingers jamming into the pouch of gravity marbles on his waist. Just need to make it to the ledge, he thinks as he gets ready to jam the marble in his mouth.
He’s two meters away when a bolt of black lightning strikes him in the back, sending him to the ground and instantly taking his life.
Ryuk spirit lifts out of his body, and like he did back at the Port of Corpses, he now hovers above the battle.
Hiccup.
The goblin now stands five meters behind Skadi, his Gilius Thunderhead Axe in his hands.
“What the fick is with the bodysuit, lady?” the goblin asks, out of breath again.
Skadi turns to the goblin and narrows her eyes. “You are the last of them?”
“Bitch, I’m the first of them!”
“What did you say to me?” the terrible mage asks Hiccup.
“Fick me, lady. Never was a latex guy, more of a chainmail head. Add a good amount of chainmail to any orc chippie and I’ll be fickin’ til my chalupa no longer works.”
Black lightning cackles over Skadi’s body.
We’re so fucked, Ryuk thinks as his spirit floats above the battle. If Hiccup dies, they’ll have to start again at the entrance to the Sabors.
Hiccup snorts. “You know, fick, since everyone else is dead, I guess I’ll be the one to tell you: there’s a reason you’re up here by yourself with not much more than a samsquanch to fick. If you ever want to get that lady choop of yours filled, you’re going to need to drop the whole ‘I’m an evil bitch who lives in an ice castle’ schtick. I mean, seriously, who the fick wants to live in the Sabors? This place is a cold ass fickhole, and believe me, I’m from Jatla, so I’ve seen my fair share of fickholes, warm and cold.”
A bolt of black lightning strikes the ground before Hiccup.
He gulps and continues. “Fine, if that’s how it’s going to be, then so be it. But before I kill your twisted ass, I just want to put it out there that I’d love to take you out on a nice date. I mean, if you ever get over this ‘ice queen living in the middle of fickin’ nowhere and making dildos out of stalactites’ gimmick you’ve got going.”
“Enough!” Skadi blasts Hiccup with a bolt of black lightning and his ax completely absorbs the strike.
“Thank you, Dirty Dave,” Hiccup says as he points the ax at her. “See you in hell, biotch.”
Hiccup deflects the bolt of dark lightning back towards Skadi, and for a moment, nothing happens. The strike hits her and she just stares at him, her mouth agape as they both wait to see what happens next.
Instakill!
Skadi’s skull explodes into kibbles and bits and her body falls backwards.
“Fick yeah!”
Enway, Oric, Ryuk, Wolf, and Yangu respawn.
“What the hell did you just do?” Oric asks, his eyes wide with surprise. He smooths his hand through his disheveled hair. “That was amazing!”
“Fick yes, it was,” Hiccup says as he waddles over to the woman’s body. “And that’s probably one thing these fickers didn’t tell you about me: it’s practically a battle strategy now that the goblin saves the day.”
“Hiccup! You did it!” Enway runs over to him and gives him a hug.
“Whoa, whoa, Elfy, if you think hugging me is going to stop my anti-immigration rhetoric, you’re right!” Hiccup kisses her on the cheek and she immediately moves away. “What? In Jatla, a hug is always followed by a kiss.”
“Hiccup, how…how did you know your ax would absorb her magic?” Ryuk asks.
“Don’t you listen, Marbles? When Dirty Dave, blessed be his fickin’ name, gave me this big ass ax – try saying that three times fast – he claimed that it had electric properties, but that I couldn’t use it because I don’t have any mana. Well, fick, I figured it would absorb her black lightning, and as you fickers can see, I was right.”
“And if it didn’t?” Oric asks.
“Well, then she would have fried my ass and we would have all been ficked.”
“You risked everything on an untested assumption?”
“Of course I did. To quote a song I heard a fickin’ ogre singing back in Jatla: It’s my life, and it’s now or never. I don’t want to live forever. Fick, I don’t know the rest of the song, Tarzan, but you get the point. Actually, I don’t like that song. Ogre songs are terrible, but you get my point, YOLO, mitherficker.”
Ryuk shakes his head. I can’t believe that worked.
“And I already got a hug from Enway, so I expect some shit from you two as well,” Hiccup tells Ryuk and Oric as he slowly bends down to look at Skadi’s decapitated body. “I swear to fick if I had a rupee for every time I saved this guild’s ass, I’d be living in the Richman District and drinking drorikh out of a high elf’s skull.”
The goblin checks what’s left of Skadi’s body. “Fick, looks like I’m going in deep.” He equips his toe knife, removes the woman’s chest plate and stomach armor. “Don’t get any sick ideas, Marbles, no one likes a necrophiliac.”
He drives his knife into her gut, and once he’s made a pretty good sized opening, he sticks his hand in. “There it is.” He returns with the final runestone.
“How did you know it’d be in her stomach?” Oric asks. Wolf is near Hiccup now, sniffing a bit of flesh leftover from Skadi’s exploded head.
“Marbles, tell He-Man ‘I drink and I know things,’ so that I don’t have to say it.” Hiccup wipes the runestone on a bottom piece of his tunic. “Wolfy, don’t eat that. Whatever it is, save it for me.”
He finishes cleaning the final runestone. “Who’s keeping these things anyway? That you, kiddo?”
“Yes.”
Hiccup tosses the runestone at Ryuk, who just barely manages to catch it. Still wet with blood and viscera, Ryuk tries to wipe the runestone against a patch of snow. Hiccup snorts at this, but doesn’t say anything.
Enway joins him seconds later. “This is going to be interesting,” she says, watching as the other runestones appear in Ryuk’s free hand.
Once he has the three runestones together, he notices a strange tension spread up his arms.
A magnetic force pulls the runestones towards each other, even before he can figure out how the third and final piece fits into the equation.
As soon as the third piece is put into place, Ryuk feels as though someone is ripping his spine from his body. His shoulders rise, and he leans back as a column of white magic strikes him.
The magic twists through his body and a prompt appears before him:
How would you like to respawn?
1) A Berserker Warrior
2) A Ballistics Mage
3) A Dark Mage
4) A White Mage
Ryuk’s hand trembles as he looks to Enway and Oric, who has now joined them.
“What should I do?” Ryuk asks.
“Try it,” Oric says, “try to spawn as a warrior.”
Enway gasps. “I know exactly what it is! The runestones allow you to change classes freely.”
“And you think I can change back?” he asks.
“I know you can. I’ve seen this same prompt before. Another smuggler who has a shop in Shiya once had an object that did just this. He showed it to me. You can change classes freely, but your mana, for example, carries over, as does your health.”
“Okay,” Ryuk nods as he lifts his hand, “let’s try warrior.”
(0)__(0)
Ryuk touches the prompt and his body starts to morph.
His muscles bulge and his Dream Armor opens up in the middle of his chest, allowing for the three attached runestones to settle in place across his breast.
A sword takes shape in his right hand, the hilt golden, and a dagger takes shape in his left. His hair grows, and as muscles are added to his body, his hood shrinks and the clothing under his armor reaches its tearing point.
Ryuk Matsuzaki Level 28 Berserker Warrior
HP: 1156/1156
ATK: 157+75
MATK: 211
DEF: 118
MDF: 89
LUCK: 24
“Holy fick, Marbles, you’re stacked!”
My attack power has increased, Ryuk thinks as he examines his chiseled arm and the sword gripped tightly in his right hand.
“Not bad.” Oric claps his hands together. “I have legitimately never seen something like that before.”
“Marbles, I take back anything I ever said about your marbles not dropping. Your marbles have officially dropped, kid. Congrats. Prepare to open up your world to a legendary amount of poontang. Fick.”
Hiccup licks his fingers and runs them through his eyebrows. “You know I’m down as fick to play wingman. Just say the word and we’ll hit all the good clubs in Jatla, I’m talking about the ones with a door charge and adequate security. Ladies like those places.”
Ryuk sheathes his dagger and touches the runestone on his chest. The prompt appears again, and he selects Dark Mage.
His muscles shrink, and his hood swells up and over his armor. Robes form on his body, and soon, he’s shrunk in size, even shorter than he normally is. He now notices a strange, heavy sensation moving through his body. A sense of cold moves down his shoulders and settles at his wrists.
Ryuk Matsuzaki Level 28 Dark Mage
HP: 1156/1156
ATK: 157
MANA: 375/375
MATK: 211+75
DEF: 118
MDF: 89
LUCK: 24
Ryuk lifts his hand and curls his fingers.
Dark magic courses through his veins and he notices a light reticle take shape on the dead samsquanch’s body. As if he were auditioning for a role as a young Padawan learner in whatever DisNike Star Wars flick is set to be released in the summer of 2075, Ryuk slightly tightens his hand and a giant bolt of lightning cuts into the samsquanch.
“Fick me, Marbles! Watch it with the evil shit. I was going to get some meat from that ficker and now you’ve gone and toasted it. You know how much a goblin would pay for samsquanch organs? No? Well, neither do I, and now we both will never know. Fick.”
Hiccup throws his hands in the air and turns away from the samsquanch’s carcass.
“Nice,” Ryuk says.
“And a cleric, right?” Enway asks.
Ryuk touches his chest and selects the White Mage option. He experiences a similar transformation; his robes lighten as a sense of hopefulness sears through his avatar. The feeling is light, carefree, fresh, healing.
His stats appear before him:
Ryuk Matsuzaki Level 28 White Mage
HP: 1156/1156
ATK: 157
MANA: 363/375
MATK: 211
DEF: 118
MDF: 89+75
LUCK: 24
He lifts his hand above him and a cloud springs out of his fingers. The cloud rains light down onto the Mitherfickers.
“I can group heal,” he whispers.
“That was the poofiest thing I’ve seen all day,” Hiccup says, trying to dodge the sparkling magic but failing. “Fick! It touched me. Does that mean I’ll become a snowflake?” He laughs. “Kidding, Marbles.”
Ryuk touches his chest again and he returns to his normal form as a Ballistics Mage.
“It’s an amazing ability,” Enway says.
“It really is.”
“So, are we going to Waringtla then? FeeTwix and Zaena should be there by now.” Oric’s hand coming up to spawn at the
location of their other guildmates.
“Sure,” Ryuk starts to say as a portal opens up across from them. His brother steps out, followed by Tamana, Tomas, and the two mages.
“I thought you’d still be here,” Kodai says, his marble slingshot appearing in his hand.
Ryuk raises his hand to touch his chest, but decides to go for his Marble Gun instead.
.24. Cosmic Dust
“Tamana, take Ryuk. Tomas, Oric. I’ll take the goblin. You two handle the rest.” Kodai says the last to the two mages they fought back in the Shinigami’s rented guild.
Hiccup chortles. “I’ll take the emo-twated fick dick with the slingshot and the microscopic chalupa. Oric, I don’t even know who that other guy is, but kill him good. Elfie, Yangu, Wolfy – those two mages might look tough, but we killed them fickers dead as fick back in Aramis when we were hardly level fifteen. Like their bitch-titted mama’s boy of a leader, they are fickboys of the highest degree. Marbles, whip Tammy’s perfectly-shaped ass.” The goblin tightens his grip on his big axe.
Take Tamana? Ryuk gulps as he aims his Marble Gun at his former best friend. He wishes he had time to load his shotgun, and he may do so if he gets a chance. No, this will have to do.
“Well, fick, people? Who’s going to strike first?” Hiccup narrows his eyes at Kodai and laughs again. “I can’t wait to cut your head off and shit down your neck, you fickered fick-faced queef-farming poof-flake!”
A sinister smile takes shape on Kodai’s face. “You will eat your words, goblin.”
“And you will eat my shit, or at least your neck will. Fick, that’s gruesome, but you get the picture. BRING IT, FICKER!”
Tamana charges and Ryuk unloads a clip of molten black marbles at her. She’s thrown backwards just as Ryuk’s hand comes to his chest.
He chooses the Berserker Warrior and feels his muscles swell under his Dream Armor.
His blade isn’t the same size as Tamana’s ironing board of a sword, but it is big enough to block her first attack.
Fuck, she’s strong! Ryuk thinks as their blades meet and Tamana grunts and tries to kick Ryuk.
He instinctively stretches backwards to avoid the kick, and it’s at this point that he realizes that not only has he become a warrior, he has also, through the runestones, picked up the instincts and characteristics of the class.
Fantasy Online_The Runestones of Tritinakh Page 24