“What?” He’s suddenly suspicious.
“Tanner, have you ever been to The Hawk’s Nest?”
Sofia gasps. “No. You can’t send him there.”
“What is that?” Tanner looks at everyone in the room. Blake and Spencer shrug.
“If he goes there, he’ll never return to baseball,” Sofia warns me.
“What? Why?” Tanner pales.
I giggle. “Because your dick will fall off from all the sex.”
Tanner stands straighter with eyes wide. “Tell me more.”
“The Hawk’s Nest is a bar where a lot of slightly older single and newly divorced women go,” I explain. “You would do so well there.”
“It sounds like heaven.” His eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
Blake and Spencer both groan.
“Spencer, we have to go there,” Tanner exclaims.
Suddenly, my heart stops. Spencer told me he hadn’t told anyone about us. Then again, why would he? Why am I being such a girl? We’re friends who have rolled in the hay a few times. Nothing serious. “Spencer would do great there. Girls tend to love the tall, dark, and handsome look.” Before he can say anything, I know I have to leave. “Enjoy cougar hunting guys.”
I rush out of there as fast as my heels will let me. What the hell is wrong with me?
I don’t know why I text him. Maybe it’s a habit since I’ve texted him every day for the past few weeks. Then again, maybe I’m a glutton for punishment and want to see what’ll happen.
Me: I see you lost your game. You okay?
Spencer: Fine
I groan in disgust. Men are jerks, and I’ll be damned if I don’t let him know how I feel. He doesn’t have to tell me all his feelings, but there’s no reason for him to be all pissed just because he fell asleep. I dig through my purse to find my chapstick and see the scratch tickets I meant to give to Spencer, but forgot.
“Damn him,” I say aloud.
Suddenly, anger pushes through me. He fell asleep. That’s it. He’s acting like I’m such a horrible person to wake up to.
“Ass,” I say even louder. Of course, there’s no one here to hear me. I’m in my house alone.
I hit my speed dial and connect with Sofia right away.
“What’s up?”
“I want Spencer’s address, and I want it now.”
“Um…why?” She should be concerned for his well-being because I’m going to yell at him.
“Sofia, I want it. Please don’t make me go through every Angels player I know.” That’s not really a threat, because I know them all, but I’m not close to any of them.
“Fine.” She sighs and tells me. “What are you going to do?”
I don’t even say goodbye. I simply end the call, grab my keys and purse, set the alarm, and jump in my car.
It seems like a lifetime since I’ve driven anywhere by myself. I know it hasn’t been that long, and if Dad knew I was out alone, he’d kick my ass, but this is important. Why is it important? Because I’m not some scum Spencer woke up with. I don’t mind fucking and him leaving, but he doesn’t have to treat me like I’m the plague. I even gave him my alarm code to show him I care about him and he’s a friend who I trust.
“Jerk,” I yell at my steering wheel. Of course, it has no come back for me.
Spencer doesn’t live far from me, and I pull into a parking space and head up to the third floor. I’d expect a more secure building, but I walk very easily to number three-oh-seven and knock.
“Harmony?” Roman answers the door. He’s in shorts and a white t-shirt. I like Roman. The few times I’ve met him, he seems like a decent guy.
“Hi.” I’m a bit bubbly with my greeting. “I’m wondering if Spencer is here?”
“Hi Harmony.” Carissa comes to the door as well. “How are you?”
“Hello.” I still have a bright smile on my face. “I’m…great and looking for Spencer.”
Roman glances at Carissa and she nods. “He’s in his room.”
“It’s down the hall, last door on the right,” Carissa adds.
I smile at them both and hold my head up high as I go down the hall and knock on the door.
Spencer opens the door and he stumbles on his feet when his eyes meet mine. “Harmony?”
I don’t answer but push through the door and slam it behind me. “I’m going to talk, and you’re going to listen.” He opens his mouth, but I shake my head. “Shut up. I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but we fell asleep together. I didn’t ask you to fucking marry me, or have kids with me, or fucking buy a house with me. We fell asleep, and I don’t think it’s that big of a fucking deal, but you do. I want to know why you’re treating me like I’m some sort of leper because you woke up in my bed.”
Spencer says nothing; he just looks away from me.
“Fine. You’re my friend. A friend I have sex with and that’s it. So, we’ll end our friendship and our fucking, okay? Because I don’t want you to catch any sort of evil disease from my presence.” I turn to leave but remember the lottery tickets. “Oh, and here.” I grab them from my purse. I had Claire get two hundred dollars’ worth. “I thought my friend would like these.” I slam them against his chest and walk out of his bedroom.
I don’t speak to Roman or Carissa as I leave and get back in my car and go home, where I plan to go to bed and start tomorrow fresh and renewed.
***
HARMONY LEFT ME staring down at the scratch off tickets in my hand. I’ve felt like an ass for how I’ve been treating her, but I don’t know any other way to react. I hated waking up at her house. I hated that her bed was so damn comfortable. I even hated that she reacted so calmly and rationally about it when I couldn’t seem to do that myself.
Under no circumstances do I do romantic relationships. Friendships, professional relationships, fuck buddies, and acquaintances; I’m comfortable with those types of relationships. And that’s it. I don’t want to spend my life with someone. I don’t want to share my fortune with anyone. I don’t want to grow old with anyone. I don’t want a soul mate, as my mother insists everyone has.
As if she somehow knows I’m thinking of her, my phone rings. There was never any uncertainty over whether I should chase after Harmony or not. Boyfriends chase. Fuck buddies don’t. I’ll talk to her soon enough. Maybe. Maybe she’s right, and we shouldn’t be fuck buddies anymore.
I throw all of those thoughts out of my mind as I answer the call from my mother.
“Hey, Mom,” I say, sitting back down on my bed with my back against the wall since I don’t have a headboard.
“Hey, my sweet Spencer. How are you doing?”
“Doing okay, Mom.”
“Do I need to fly out there and check on you myself? Okay isn’t an acceptable answer.”
I laugh. “I’m fine, though I wouldn’t mind seeing you. I just got fussed at by some chick I was sort of seeing is all.”
“By sort of seeing, I’m assuming she was a fuck buddy?”
“Mom, don’t say words like that!” There is something seriously wrong with those words coming out of her mouth.
“Are you using protection, Spencer?”
“Mom! Just stop. No more talking about sex.”
She laughs. “That’s hardly talking about sex, but okay. Is everything going to be okay with your, er, friend?”
“It should be, but if not, it’s probably for the best. We don’t need to talk about it, though. How are you?”
“Well,” she begins, and I brace myself for news. That’s always how my mom starts when she has big news to share. “I’ve been seeing someone, and he’s asked me to marry him.”
“What the fuck?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Why the hell would you do that? Since when are you seeing someone?”
“Watch your mouth, son. You can cuss all you want, but not in a conversation with me.” Her sharp tone fades, turning lighter as she jokes, “What? You didn’t expect me to stay single for the rest
of my life, did you?”
“Well, yeah,” I weakly reply.
“Spencer,” she begins in that soft, motherly tone she used to use when I was a kid and she was explaining something complicated to me. “You know we all have soul mates out there waiting for us.” She’s quiet for a beat. “I’ve found mine. You should be happy for me.”
I should. But I know relationships don’t work. Sure, I see most of my teammates happy and tied down to someone, but it won’t last. They never do. I watched man after man after man come into my mom’s life and then leave her heartbroken. Or, they left once they found out about me. My mom rarely introduce me to men, but I’d wake up and peek out of my room to see her on the couch, talking to a man. I was a nosey piece of shit kid.
Some would come around for a bit. Some would take her out, leaving me with Mrs. Edith. Some would treat her well. Some didn’t. But every single one of them left. The relationship ended. Mom would sometimes cry over them in her room, and I’d hate the men and what they were doing. I’ve never seen a successful relationship last.
And now, my mom is seeing someone who supposedly wants to marry her? How long before he fucks up and ruins things, leaving my mom in tears again? How long until it ends? I wonder if I could talk her out of it.
“Spencer?”
Damn it. I’ve been quiet for too long. “So, he wants to marry you?”
“Yes. I told him I needed to speak to my son first.”
I almost roll my eyes. “Mom, you know you don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do,” she says simply.
Rage pumps my heart faster as the reason why surges in my mind. There was a man, who doesn’t deserve to have even his name remembered, who dated my mom. Things got serious enough that she introduced us. He was the second man she ever introduced to me. I got attached. If a kid could be a stage-five clinger, that was me. I thought he was a hero and perfect and could do no wrong. I thought he was different and would be there forever.
He wasn’t.
He left.
I was devastated, and so was my mom. I was tired of hearing my mom cry alone. I went to make her stop, though I didn’t have a clue how I was going to do that when I cried, too. Mom was on her soul mates kick even then. Long story short, she promised it would be just the two of us, but if ever a man came along that stole her heart, then she would introduce us. Mom, when she did introduce me to men, always wanted my approval. Not for herself, really, but as a way of knowing I was happy and okay with it. I figured that ended now that I’m an adult, but apparently not.
“You can marry him if you want, Mom.” I wish I could muster some fake enthusiasm for her, but I can’t. “If he makes you happy, go for it.” That’s something people say, right? But then my protectiveness comes out. Mom is sure to have talked about me and my accomplishments to the bastard.
“But make sure he’s not playing you. I’m not sharing my money with anyone but you, and you’re not allowed to give any to some prick either. I don’t care what he says about how badly he needs it. And you need a prenup. I have a friend here who could probably run a background check on him. How well do you know him anyway? How long have y’all been seeing each other? How does he treat you? He doesn’t think he’s going to be the stepdad of some major league player, does he?”
“Spencer,” my mom interrupts, laughing. “Stop with that nonsense. Your mom knows how to take care of herself.” Yeah, but her selection of men has been questionable. “I want you to meet him.”
“I’m in the middle of a season, Mom.” No. Just no. I don’t want to meet this man. I might want to punch him just on principle because he’ll eventually break her heart, and I might as well deal with him now.
“Are you trying to take back what you said?”
“What did I say?” I ask, confused.
“Did you not say at the beginning of this conversation that you wouldn’t mind seeing me?”
“Well, yeah, but I meant you. Not you and some,” I stop myself before I cuss and weakly finish, “guy.”
“I see you need some getting used to the idea, so we’ll broach the subject again in a week or so. Regardless, I’m coming to visit soon. I miss my sweet Spencer.”
“I miss you too, Mom.”
I can hear the smile in her voice. “You’re such a momma’s boy. Do your Memphis buddies know that?”
I laugh. “No, they don’t.” Mom has never met my teammates. It’s never worked out, which is okay. I know she would love to meet them, though.
“How is Roman doing?” she asks.
“Good. His girlfriend moved in with us.” That opens a can of worms since I have to explain everything that happened with her and then give her an update on how I like my new living conditions. Even though Mom has never met the guys, she asks about every single one I’ve ever mentioned.
“You aren’t gambling too much, are you?”
“No.” Mom worries I’m addicted. I can stop if I wanted to. It’s not hurting me or my life, so I’m okay. The mention of gambling causes me to glance down at the tickets Harmony slammed into my chest.
“Mhm,” she hums, clearly not believing me. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about whatever issue you’re having with this girl?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
She sighs. “Are you ever going to settle down?”
“If I find my soul mate, Mom, sure thing.” I don’t believe in that shit, but I’m not about to upset my mom. She doesn’t want grandbabies, at least not any time soon, but she wants me to find this nonexistent soul mate.
We talk for a few more minutes before we say our goodbyes. I think about this crazy afternoon and decide to go see Harmony. Yeah, I’m freaked the hell out about spending the night, but the easiest solution is to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I can have girls in my life. She could be sort of like Carissa, except we’ll fuck. Carissa is my friend and, oddly enough, Harmony is a bit of a friend too. We can hang out. Harmony and I can fuck. I can come home each night. Harmony gets my barriers, but she doesn’t get my freaked out reaction, though she should.
I grab my keys, phone, and wallet off my nightstand and walk out of my bedroom.
“Everything okay?” Carissa asks.
“Just fine. I’ll see y’all later.”
Minutes later, I knock on Harmony’s front door. I’m surprised when she answers with a baby on her hip. It takes me only a second to recognize Grant.
“What do you want?” Her tone is ice, not that I expected any different.
“Can I come in?”
She hesitates, but then nods. Without asking, I take Grant from her. It just seems like a no-brainer that having the baby in my arms should help. She won’t have the option to sit him down and hit me. She won’t have the option to throw something at me. I don’t know. Maybe he’ll help the sudden surge of nerves I have now that I’m here.
Harmony eyes me warily as I idly play with Grant once we take a seat on her couch. “Well?”
“I don’t want to stop yet.”
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. She reaches for Grant, but I pull him away from her.
“We’re playing. Leave us alone,” I tell her, causing her eyes to narrow.
“You’re using my nephew as a buffer, and I don’t appreciate that.”
“Do you hear her, Grant?” I ask the little boy. “Can you believe she would accuse me of such a thing? Shame on Aunt Harmony.”
“Spencer.” There’s a low warning in her voice, and I know if I don’t start talking, she’ll kick me out.
I sigh. “Look, it wasn’t personal. It wasn’t the fact that I spent the night with you; it was the fact that I spent the night at all. I’ve never done it, never wanted to do it, and don’t want to do it again, with you or the next bimbo.” Her eyes harden, so I quickly add, “Not that you are a bimbo or anything like that because you’re not. My point is I’m not just a guy who isn’t looking for a romantic relationship. I’m a guy who thinks they are pointless because they’re going to
end. I don’t want that. And yeah, I know that you don’t either for whatever reason.
“But sleeping over, even by accident, even with someone who reacted in the best way possible, still freaks me out. I’m so anti-relationship, I freaked out on my mom a bit when she told me she might get married because she supposedly met her soulmate and I wanted to talk her out of it.” Harmony’s eyes widen. “I didn’t. I’m just trying to give you insight here. I don’t think romantic relationships work. All of my teammates who are happily taken? I feel bad for them because I know it won’t last. That’s how bad it is. Anything that happens that even remotely looks more like commitment than not, makes me draw back with panic. So, do you think you can get over it and get back to our little arrangement?”
“Wow,” she breathes. “You have way more issues than I thought.”
I frown. I don’t have issues. I have a particular look on life is all.
“I can get over it,” she adds.
I grin. “You don’t want to stop having sex with me either, do you?”
She laughs and ignores my question. “Blake would kill you if he heard you use such language around his son.”
“How’d you end up with the little guy anyway?”
“Sofia was having a bad day, so I didn’t want to bother her. I took her kid instead. Grant needs some bonding time with his Aunt Harmony, anyway.” He reaches for her, so I hand him over finally. “And let me tell you. This kid is Blake through and through. He’s so much work.”
I laugh. “That’s why it’s good to be the aunt. You can have him for a little bit and then give him back to his parents.”
“Yeah. I don’t think I want him doing sleepovers any time soon.”
A knock on her door makes her frown. The door pushes open and a loud booming voice says, “Where’s my grandson?”
Grant squeals and starts bouncing in Harmony’s lap. As her father rounds the corner, he catches sight of me. He looks at me with calculating eyes, but doesn’t otherwise acknowledge me. Harmony stands, so I follow suit. I should’ve left sooner!
Spencer (The Ninth Inning: Season Three #8) Page 6