“Sissy, what is it?” She squeezes my arm.
“I’m tired.” I shake my head and blink away the tears. Just in time as the guys begin making their way down the tunnel.
“There’s the world’s hottest baseball owner,” Tanner shouts.
“Dude, she’s going to kick your ass.” Jordan pushes him.
My eyes connect with Spencer, but I force myself to look away from him and to Tanner. “I’m just here to make sure the cameras were installed in the showers. What’s the point of being an owner if I don’t get the perks?” I smile.
“See,” Tanner points at me. “This is the kind of woman I need. And you can film me anytime.”
“I’m sure many women have already.” I pat his back as the guys laugh. “And you smell.” I scrunch up my nose and push him back over to the team.
“It’s a manly scent,” Tanner defends.
“And it’s gagging me.” I point to the locker room, and I watch him grumble but head inside. “If Grant grows up to be like Tanner, I’m blaming Blake,” I tell Sofia.
“My son’s first word was fuck. Where did he learn that?” Blake smarts off with his arms crossed.
I have no comeback because it’s the truth. I’m so grateful when I hear my name called from the other end of the hall. “Heidi.” I smile and head toward her.
She’s carrying her daughter on her hip and a large diaper bag on her shoulder. “Your assistant said you were here, and I just needed to talk to you right away.” She looks nervous.
“Look at this beautiful girl.” I take Eve from her. “You are a stunner. I can see you on a commercial in the near future.”
Jordan comes up and kisses his wife and reaches for his baby, but I pull away. “I’ll take her, Harmony.”
“I’ve got her. Shoo.” I wave him away.
“Oh, well, Harmony, I thought we could talk business,” Heidi says softly. “I was going to have Jordan watch her.”
I turn Eve toward the team still in the hallway. “Do you want to hang out with those stinky, sweaty, dirty men? No, you don’t.” I face Heidi again. “We can talk in Sofia’s office.” I take Eve and head that way.
Jordan, Heidi, and Sofia all follow me into the office. I play with Eve for a moment before facing them. “So, what did you decide?”
“On what?” Sofia asks coming around and she takes Eve from me.
“I offered to be Heidi’s silent partner for her salon to expand.” I give her the abridged version.
“And I’d like to take it.” Heidi beams. “If the offer is still there.”
I hug her. “Of course it is.” I step back. “I told my building managers not to rent those buildings out until I gave the say so.”
“Harmony, I don’t know how to thank you.” Heidi looks as if she may cry.
“Aww,” I wave my hand. “I’m happy to be part of this. I’ll get the contracts over to you by the end of the month.”
She hugs me again, and even Jordan is about to burst with pride. She keeps saying how appreciative she is, and my heart swells. I like doing good things for people.
“Well, I have a meeting to head off to.” I wave at them all and leave.
As I hit the call button for the elevator, there’s a tap on my shoulder. I don’t need to turn around to know it’s Spencer, but I do.
“Hi.” I put on my fake smile. “Thanks again for being an accomplice last night.”
I shrug. “Oh, I’m just heading to a meeting.” The elevator opens and I step in, but Spencer puts his arm out to stop it from closing.
“Harmony, talk to me.”
“Spencer, I have meeting. I’ll try to find time to talk to you later, but I’m busy.”
Our eyes lock and it’s taking everything in me just to not shout out everything I’m feeling right now. I can’t do it. I can’t say the words. I won’t say the words.
“Okay.” He moves his arm and the doors close.
I’m going to have to end it.
Hell, maybe I’m emotional because my period is coming soon. Sometimes it can make me a wreck. I look down at my phone and see the date. My stomach drops.
Oh shit.
***
ALL WEEK I’VE had to listen to shit from the guys about Harmony. I didn’t even think about the fact that I would have to explain myself when I showed up at the party with her. The guys think that since I kept my fuck buddy a secret, it means she’s more than a fuck buddy. Give me a break. Since when do I need to blast to the world who I’m sleeping with? Needless to say that between their mouths and Harmony avoiding me, I haven’t been in a good mood.
I knew something was off the day of her birthday when I saw her at the stadium. Since then, she’s been as short as possible when we text or she doesn’t answer at all. Now that I’m back home, I plan to confront her. Something is wrong, and I want to know what it is. If she wants to end things, she needs to say so instead of giving me the run around.
The plan is to drive over there after the game tonight. Roman and I walk into our apartment and Carissa immediately ambushes us. She throws her arms around us both at once.
“I missed you guys so much!” She kisses my cheek and then presses a quick kiss to Roman’s mouth. At least she kissed me first.
“What are you doing here?” Roman asks her. I was wondering the same thing. She’s supposed to be at work.
“I asked to come in late because I wanted to see y’all.” She hugs us again. “I’m really surprised that I missed you as much as I did, Spence,” she says as she pulls away.
“Is that an insult?”
She laughs. “No. Now all I need is to see Hector, and I’ll have my Angels fill. When do y’all have to be at the stadium?”
“Not until later. It’ll be a late practice since it’s a late game and we just got in,” Roman answers her. “When do you have to go to work?”
They get lost in their conversation, so I leave them to drop my things off in my room. It’s tempting to go to Harmony’s office to see her now, but considering she’s “so busy,” I should probably wait. I take a nap that lasts so long that by the time I wake up, it’s almost time to head to the stadium. There’s a storm outside, though. It sounds terrible with the loud, booming thunder and the cracks of lightning.
Carissa is gone when I emerge from my room. They were really quiet, or I was really tired, to have slept through the sex fest I’m sure happened. Roman’s phone rings, and he answers.
“Yeah, okay,” he says after a moment. “I’ll tell Spencer so you won’t have to call him. Okay, thanks.”
“Tell me what?” I ask when he hangs up.
“Game has been canceled due to severe weather. Looks like we have the day off.”
“Kinda early to be canceling, isn’t it?”
He shrugs. “She said the storm is supposed to stay a while and they don’t want to chance it. We should start watching the weather; apparently, it’s been on the news for the last hour.” He scrolls through his phone and holds it out for me to see the radar. It does look like a big storm. There’s more red than yellow and green on the screen.
The lights flicker in our apartment.
Roman frowns. “Carissa has to drive home in this mess.” He’s absorbed in his phone, so I’m assuming he’s letting her know to be careful.
We still have a little bit before it’s even time for her to head home. I wonder if Harmony will stay late or head on home like she should. Either way, I still have time to waste. Roman and I play video games, but the power keeps flickering to interrupt our progress, so we watch TV instead.
“Come help me cook dinner,” he says after a while.
“Why? I’m not your woman.”
“No, but my woman wants dinner with us, and I told her you’d be here for it.”
I grin. “How does it feel to know that she missed me as much as she missed you? Do you regret that I convinced her to move in yet?”
He scoffs. “You didn’t convince her to move in. I don’t care if she missed you or
not. I’m surprised you’re even staying for dinner. I figured you’d be at Harmony’s. How’s that going, by the way?”
My answer is a shrug. We should focus on cooking and making sure we can cook the entire meal before the power goes out for good.
“Something happen?” Roman pushes. “Is that why you’ve been taking over the Grumpy role for Blake?”
“I haven’t been grumpy,” I snap.
He laughs. “See? That’s exactly what I mean. What? Do you actually like a girl and are freaking out over it?”
“No.”
“Then what is it?”
The words force themselves out of my mouth, grit like. “She’s avoiding me.”
Roman barks out a laugh. “Why is that such a big deal? You’re both exactly alike. If she’s avoiding you, then she’s probably tired of your ass and is ready to find a new fuck buddy. Which,” he gives me a pointed look, “shouldn’t be a problem since you don’t care for her.”
“Just because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her doesn’t mean I want to stop fucking her. She’s a really good fuck.”
He shakes his head at me. “So what are you going to do?”
“Convince her not to kick me to the curb yet.”
Nothing is said for a moment or so, but I know he’s going to say something. Sure enough, he says, “Sounds to me like you’re putting in a lot of effort for a fuck buddy.”
I shrug off his comment. Makes sense to me to keep the one I have because we’re so alike and so good together, why do I want to give that up and find someone new?
Luckily, the power doesn’t go out on us and we have a good dinner with Carissa. I might have missed her, too. It’s weird how she’s become family. Right now, though, I need to focus on the other person I missed.
The rain is as loud as the thunder and lightning. I’m soaking wet by the time I climb into my car. Visibility isn’t that great either. I don’t think I’ve ever driven so slowly before. I can’t even listen to music on the way there. I’d have to turn the volume almost all the way up to decently hear it over the rain. It takes twice as long to drive to her house than normal.
I’m freezing and drenched when I bang my fist on her door, hoping she’ll be quick and let me in. The lights are on, so I know she’s home. The rain is falling at an angle, so the longer it takes her, the wetter I get. I bang on the door again. At this rate, I should’ve brought a change of clothes. Finally, the door swings open. I push my way in, grabbing her hips to walk her backward, and kick the door behind me.
“Spencer, you’re wet!”
“No fucking shit. What took you so long?”
“I was upstairs and I didn’t hear you. What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
Her body tenses in front of me. “About what?”
“Get me a towel first. I need to get out of these clothes.”
She hesitates, so I turn her hips and push her away. She quickly runs upstairs, and I amble around until I find her washer and dryer. I start stripping down, throwing the wet clothes in the dryer until I’m naked.
“Here.”
I swivel on my heels and dry off my body and hair some before wrapping the towel around my waist. Harmony ogles me for a moment. As if she’s snapping herself out of it, she shakes her head and reaches over to turn on the dryer. I take her hand and lead her into the living room, sitting us on the couch.
“Talk to me, darlin’.”
An innocent look masks her face. “About what?”
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not avoiding you, obviously; you’re in my house.”
“Yeah. I’m here after being gone for a week and it’s not because you invited me over,” I say with a pointed look. “You’ve been weird. What’s going on? Do you want to end things? Or have I pissed you off and in some out-of-character move, you’re not telling me? What is it?”
“Stress. It’s just stress. There’s no reason for me to bother you with it. I mean, we’re not in a relationship, and I’d never talk you my friends about stuff like this.” She trails off with a shrug of her shoulders. Her answer doesn’t make sense.
“Stress? And I thought we were friends?”
“Well,” she takes a deep breath, and I brace myself for bad news. “There’s no reason to beat around the bush about this. Stress and a lot of emotional issues are why I’ve been distant, but something major happened and I don’t know how to deal with it. Or how to tell you.”
“Oh.” Damn. Harmony sounds serious, and it’s making me nervous. “Just spit it out,” I tell her.
Harmony is quiet, glancing away before focusing on me and telling me three little words. “Spencer, I’m late.”
“Late for what?” I ask with confusion.
She takes a deep breath. “My period. I’m late with my period.”
I told you bad shit comes out of the mouth in threes. Spencer, I’m late. With my period. I stare at her, not wanting to grasp how huge this might be. “Are you sure?”
She nods. “I’m about a two weeks late. I stopped to get a test on the way home. I just didn’t know how to tell you. I’m a mess. Such an emotional mess and I really don’t know what to do.”
I’ve never heard her so distraught, and I can’t help but give her a hug. “First, you take the test and we find out. Then we can either thank god or freak the fuck out. Go take it, so we can get it over with.”
She stands and disappears to the bathroom. After a minute or two and she doesn’t return, I go stand outside the bathroom. The wait is torture, even with trying to think of nothing but a naked Harmony, and how I’d rather be fucking her right now than dealing with a possible pregnancy. Forever later, Harmony comes out of the bathroom and shakes her head.
It’s negative.
Thank god.
I take her hand and we return to the couch.
“Well, that’s a relief, right?” she says, sounding slightly sad.
“You’re upset? I didn’t think you wanted kids?”
“Oh god, I’m so relieved about that. It’s…it’s just…I’m trying to get used to the feeling of not seeing you anymore.”
Back on the confusion train I go. “What are you talking about? I haven’t said I was leaving you alone.”
“You will in a minute,” she mumbles. “Spencer, I’m having a lot of emotions running through me. The big one is: I like you. I like you a lot more than I should.”
Shit. This is what I was hoping she wouldn’t do. As long as she didn’t tell me, I could pretend she hadn’t. I sigh. “I know.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I feel like I know you pretty well, Harmony, and I thought you might.”
“I’m waiting for you to freak out. I’ll step out of the way so you can run to the door.”
This is insane. I lean forward to rub my temples, my elbows resting on my knees. “Damn if you don’t know how to give a guy whiplash between the might be pregnant and this. I can’t process it all. I’ve been selfishly hoping you wouldn’t tell me because I didn’t want to give you up, and now, I don’t know what the fuck to do.”
“Fuck,” she breathes. “I’m just going to say it, and then never talk about it again. I’m falling in love with you. I have been for a while now, but I’ve been denying it. We’re either going to do this this or leave it now. I can’t be brokenhearted and try to deal with everything else going on.” Her voice cracks a little, and tears well in her eyes.
“So, either I leave or I become your boyfriend? Fuck.” Fuck, fuck, fuck!
“I have enjoyed every moment with you, and yes, I want a fuck buddy. However, I want a companion, too. Someone who wants to eat pizza with me, hold me, and laughs at my bad jokes because they love me. Whatever you decide, I’ll be happy with and will support, but know I love you. You’re the only guy I’ve ever said that to.”
I groan. There’s a war waging inside of me, and I don’t even know which side to pick since I’m on both side
s. “You’re fucking killing me here, Harmony. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t even know if I can do what you’re asking of me. It’s not like I’d know what the hell I’m doing or which move is better. I’m the most skeptical person there is when it comes to this shit. Say I don’t leave and I decide, what the hell, I’ll give it a shot. I’d hate myself for eventually leaving and making it worse than it would be if I left now. Are you sure you’ve even thought about this? I have legit issues, isn’t that what you said?”
Harmony takes another deep breath. “Okay, you’re right. You have issues. Hell, I have issues, too. But I have thought it through with a few freak outs in between. Then I came to this decision. To stand here and say the three words I’m the most scared to say. I love you. If you don’t want to take this chance, then leave. However, if there is a small chance, then stay. It’s up to you.”
I take a long inhale. Which is worse? Leaving Harmony who is alike me in a lot of ways and is the best fuck buddy I’ve ever had, is a good friend to me, or staying to make her happy, Mom would be happy, and to test it out. It’s not like either of us are wearing blinders. She knows why I’m hesitating and why I might walk away. But those whys have nothing to do with Harmony herself. She’s a tough girl. Who knows? Maybe it could work. All I know for sure is that the last thing I want to do is walk away. I gulp and give her my answer. “I’ll stay.”
“What? Really?” She seems both hopeful and surprised.
“I don’t want to do the leaving or be the one left behind. You’re not leaving, so I can’t leave, either.”
“Then,” she pauses to reach for my hand. “Stay the night the night with me. The whole night, and we’ll try to go out on a date. A real one with dinner and maybe dancing or whatever.”
I nod. Please let this work out. I don’t think I could handle Harmony walking away from me at this point.
***
I WAKE UP to my alarm clock, but I can’t reach it. Spencer has his arms wrapped tightly around me. I spent most of yesterday morning in paralyzing fear thinking there was a child growing inside of me. My period is never late, but I have been under a lot of work stress, and Spencer stress, which could have caused it. My entire body was relieved to see the negative pop up on the test. Spencer and I had been careful, but nothing is foolproof.
Spencer (The Ninth Inning: Season Three #8) Page 15