She squared her shoulders a little and shook her head. “I came alone.”
That took him aback. She couldn’t be more than five and twenty. Old enough to be married, but if she wasn’t married, far too young to be at a ball alone. Even the ape-leaders came with someone.
The silence grew thick, and she startled him when she finally spoke. “Why did you need solace? When you came here as a young man?”
He considered. No one had ever asked him that before. Perhaps no one had even known that he’d been in such turmoil. “I supposed I felt I was living in a world that had no place for me. That didn’t fit.”
She looked at him, eyes narrowed. Her lips trembled a bit. They were the only part of her face he could clearly see. Slowly, she nodded. “I suppose that is part of my dilemma as well.” Her voice was shaky and occasionally caught on a sob. “I’m afraid I have to make a big decision soon. One that will change my life forever.” She grimaced. “Sorry to sound so dramatic. Unfortunately, it is true.”
He lowered himself onto the armchair and leaned against the cushioned back. He motioned to the sofa, and she sat, her back stiff.
“Well, if it’s a life-changing decision, best to take some time to consider it. When must this decision be made?”
“Some people consider that it has already been made. But I suppose if I am to have any hope of influencing it, I must act by Tuesday.”
“Hmmph, Tuesday. That’s not much time for a life-changing decision. Especially one that causes you this much grief. I suppose none of your options are pleasant ones?”
She shook her head.
“No,” he said, “that would be too much to hope for.” He crossed one ankle over his knee. “Is there any chance that you are mistaken? That one of the options might be a blessing in disguise?” He assumed she was being pressured into a marriage, as many young ladies were. Sometimes they found it to be a good match, even after initially resisting.
She smiled weakly. “No. No hope of that.”
He sighed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had to make such a decision. The last time I did, I ended up leaving all the people I love for a very long time. I missed them.”
“But it was better than the alternative?” she asked.
He slowly nodded. “I believe so.” Maybe. Maybe it had just felt better to run away than to face reality.
“How did you come to the decision?”
He smiled. “I had the help of an old friend. Well, in a way, at least. You see, my family’s ancestral home is near a little town called Seaton in Devon. The vicar there was a…well, a sort of mentor, I suppose, when I was growing up. He owns a cottage near the vicarage that he keeps open for just such a purpose.”
She frowned. “I’m sorry. For what purpose?”
His smile broadened. Perhaps a good story was just what the occasion called for. “For decision makers. Yes, it is a bit odd, isn’t it? You see, when he was a young man, he had planned to join the military. A few weeks before he did so, he received his calling to join the church.”
“I see. And what did he do when he received his calling?”
She did seem a bit distracted from her woe.
“Well, he did what any young man bound for the military would do. He ignored it and left his home to go enlist. Unfortunately for him, his horse lost a shoe somewhere in the countryside and couldn’t go on. There was a farmhouse nearby, and the farmer put him and the horse up in his barn. The next day, the farmer helped him shoe the horse. My friend stayed one more day to repay the farmer in labor. By the third day, my friend had realized the error of his ways—not because of anything that had happened while he was on the farm. Simply being away from the life he knew was enough to help him see the truth. After he became a vicar, he wanted to give the same gift to other men. When I was a very young boy, one of my father’s tenants abandoned a cottage on the edge of our property. The vicar approached my father about purchasing it, told his story, and my father sold it to him. It’s just a cottage on a single acre of land, but Mr. Robinson has always kept it up and available, and from time to time, strangers pass through and work out their own decisions.”
She watched him now, her expression inscrutable. “What a lovely story,” she said. “Your Mr. Robinson sounds like a fine man.”
Nick nodded. “The very best. He has always been exactly what I strive to be.”
She inhaled deeply. “Perhaps I will follow his example and endeavor to go away for a few days to consider. It is a better plan than I have heretofore devised.” She smiled at him, a truer smile than she had heretofore given. “I thank you, sir, for your company. I do not know how long it would have taken me to compose myself without it. But I fear I have kept you from the festivities for far too long.”
He shook his head. “Not at all. I too have enjoyed our encounter.” He was surprised to find that it was true. He’d never have expected to enjoy an interview with a weeping woman, even if she was doing her best to hide it. “Do you intend to rejoin the party? May I escort you inside?”
Her expression turned wry. “No, no. I believe I’ve had enough fun for one evening. I will make my way home now.”
He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “May I tell the footman to bring your carriage around to the mews? It’s closer to us and will keep you from having to walk back through the crowd, if you’d like to avoid it.”
She sucked in air. “Oh, that would be so nice. Unfortunately, I do not have my own carriage. I must call for a hack.”
More oddity. Not only was she without proper chaperone, she didn’t even have her own servants awaiting her. He didn’t feel comfortable allowing her to venture out on her own, particularly in the state she’d been in. “I won’t hear of it. My carriage is in the mews. I’ll have my groom prepare it, and my driver will see you home.”
She smiled. “Of course not. It’s too much.”
“Not at all. I’ll see to it now. Please, wait here and enjoy the peace of the bower. I’ll be back directly.” Nick rose and bowed a little awkwardly and took his leave. He hoped she’d be there when he returned, but somehow, he doubted it. What a shame. It might have been a lovely friendship.
Chapter 4
Of course, she would arrange a hack as soon as he left. She couldn’t take the risk of discovery. But as Susannah watched him walk toward the locked library door, inspiration struck. He hadn’t introduced himself, but given his familiarity with the library, he was likely closely related to the Earl of Weston, whose party she was currently gatecrashing. If he were willing to help her, maybe she could escape this mess of a masquerade ball with her anonymity intact, while showing Julian she wouldn’t be cowed by his disdain for her.
“Wait!” she cried out, jumping up from her seat.
He’d just reached the door. He turned to face her.
She composed herself. Good ideas always excited her a little too much. Also, this particular idea seemed excellent in her head, but she wasn’t sure how to explain it so that he would agree. She decided on a dose of honesty.
“My lord,” she started with a curtsy, just in case. He didn’t respond, so perhaps she was right to do so. “I was wondering if you might help me.”
“Of course.”
“As we discussed, I am a single lady unaccompanied. I have no wish to be discovered, or my name will be in ruins.” She neglected to add that any part not currently in ruins would definitely be so in a matter of weeks if her guardian had his way. It was a masquerade ball, after all, and a girl could pretend.
He only inclined his head in response, and she sallied on. “I’m sure you’ll agree that the safest course of action is for me to hire a hack, as I intended. But it occurs to me that perhaps I’d have an easier time making my way through that crowd if I had company. And perhaps a dance partner.”
His eyes narrowed a bit, belying the sly grin that tipped the corners of his mouth upward. “Are you asking me to dance?”
Her cheeks burned in embarrassment. She nodded, quite grat
eful for her mask. And the dimness of the room.
He did a bit of a shrug with his eyebrows and extended his arm for her. “As you wish, my dear.”
She sighed with relief and accepted his arm. Perhaps she could at least extricate herself from this evening with a little grace, thanks to this hero of hers.
When they reached the ballroom door, she paused a moment to steel herself. A deep breath, shoulders back, head up, smile in place, as her mother had always told her—the best way to blend into a crowd in society. The memory of her mother warmed her, even as she defied instructions and lowered her head just a bit. She was thankful for the mask but still didn’t relish the idea of making eye contact with anyone.
But now he began to move, and Susannah followed along, a lamb being led into the wolves. But perhaps she could trust this shepherd to protect her from at least the fiercest bites. Her sobs were gone, but she still felt them in her shuddering breath.
Inside the ballroom, another waltz played, and she welcomed the chance to hide a bit in her partner. Though of course even in a waltz they must keep their distance, it was better than participating in a quadrille or cotillion. Her partner was strong and confident, and they moved quickly through the other dancers toward the entrance of the room. For a moment, she thought to ask his name, but decided against it. He might ask the same of her, and she couldn’t have that.
Finally, they neared the entrance, and Susannah expected her partner to step off the dance floor. Instead, he looked at her a bit askance and said, “Are you certain you wish to leave? You are masked, and no one will know you. I confess I’d enjoy extending our acquaintance.”
A part of Susannah agreed. What could it hurt? But just at that moment, she caught a glimpse of Julian staring daggers at her, and she knew she must exit. Angering Julian further would only make matters worse for her with Hector, if she was unable to devise a plan.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Thank you so very much for your help, but I really must go.”
“Aren’t you supposed to leave behind a shoe or something, so I can find you later?”
She laughed. “I’m hardly Cinderella. And though you’ve been truly kind, if you knew me any better, you’d probably wish you didn’t.” The dance was ending now. Julian started toward them, and she felt the panic rising in her throat, despite the fact that his progress was slowed considerably by the crowd of dancers. She gently extricated herself from his hold. At the same time, she heard a shrill voice yell “Nicholas!” and he turned his head in response. She used that moment to slip into the crowd and out the front door.
A couple of hacks were waiting for the party to end, hopeful that some guests hadn’t brought their own equipage. A footman offered assistance and helped Susannah into a carriage. She gave the driver the address and leaned back in the seat as the hack began to roll back to Hector’s townhouse.
What a horrible experience this whole night had been. She’d known humiliation would be a part of the evening, in some form or fashion, but she’d hoped it would at least serve a purpose. Instead, she’d gotten no closer whatsoever to her goal and possibly even moved further away from it. And then meeting her own Prince Charming—Nicholas, that woman called him—only rubbed salt in her wounds. How she would have loved to stay and enjoy his company, a simple girl at a ball with a handsome man, instead of a woman of ill repute, fighting to hold on to the last shreds of her dignity.
That thought brought her back to her current dilemma. Hector had a plan for her, and if there was one thing she knew about her guardian, it was that he loved money. If he thought she could bring him more of the stuff, he would waste no time pushing her into the life of a professional courtesan, as he had threatened in the most recent interview. She had to act quickly if she was going to make her life her own.
And right now, her future looked grim. She had but little money to her name, and a lifetime stretched before her.
Once her life had seemed so simple. It hadn’t seemed unreasonable to dream that she’d marry someone like the gentleman she’d met this evening. He’d been kind and easy to talk to, and she was sorry she wouldn’t see him again. Now, if Hector had his way, the best she could hope for was that she would find someone like him as a protector. She still wouldn’t be able to have a normal life with children and a husband, but at least she would be under the protection of someone whose company she enjoyed.
But men like her Prince Charming probably weren’t in the market for a mistress, given what he’d shared about his beliefs. She thought of the men she’d met in Hector’s company, whom he would be far more likely to sell her to, and the thought was enough to make her blood run cold. His friends varied from unpleasant to downright frightening.
No. She couldn’t stay and fall victim to Hector’s sordid lifestyle. She’d figure out another way to support herself. She was educated but didn’t think it likely she could get references. Anyone she’d ask would know of Hector’s reputation and would assume the worst because of her association with him, forced though it might have been. And truly, a woman who’d made the kind of mistakes she had shouldn’t be guiding young girls anyway. What if she somehow corrupted them? She could never forgive herself. She wouldn’t feel so bad about being a lady’s companion. But she knew herself, knew she would struggle against the authority of her employer. It wouldn’t do at all. Besides, there was still the problem of references.
She groaned aloud and banged her head against the leather squabs. How had she managed to get into this mess? She could go to one of her sisters, but she doubted they’d be happy to see her. She hadn’t even corresponded with either of them in over a year—maybe two. They both had troubles of their own, married to men of Hector’s choosing. Which was another reason not to go to them. Her brothers-in-law would probably send her right back to her guardian. No, she was well and truly on her own. Well, except perhaps for Amy.
She thought back to her recent conversation in the library, to Prince Charming’s story of the cottage in Devon. The strange thing was that she had heard the story before. Her father had told her of a friend of his, a good man, another vicar, who kept a cottage by the sea for just such a purpose. Was this a common practice then, among seaside vicars, or did her Prince Charming know the same man? It seemed too fantastical to be likely.
But still. Her mind kept running over the idea. She had so few options—and so few funds. Could she consider this cottage an option? What if the vicar only allowed male travelers to stay there? Then she would be far from home, with even fewer options.
Susannah had a little savings. Her mother had given it to her after her father had died. She’d been ill and worried about her daughters’ futures, and she told Susannah to keep it safe for an emergency. At the time, Susannah had thought it a sweet gesture, but now she wondered at her mother’s foresight. It wasn’t much, about the same amount as two months’ pin money, but she supposed that if she lived frugally, she could make it last longer. But it would cover the travel expenses to Devonshire.
She decided to take the risk. She might regret it, yes, but she would certainly regret staying and allowing Hector to determine her fate. For good or bad, she was bound for Devonshire.
***
In the moment it had taken to extricate himself from his aunt’s grasp, the girl was gone. His very own Cinderella. He rolled his eyes at that bit of foolishness. Not two hours ago, he’d been convinced that this ball held nothing but boredom for him, and even further, that all of womankind held nothing of any interest. But here he was…interested. A woman with a secret dilemma, not afraid to face the world alone, coming to a party he was almost certain she hadn’t been invited to, only to suffer some terrible disappointment. But then still courageous enough to dance through the ballroom as though she belonged there. It was almost too much to resist. He wasn’t looking for a wife—or a stepmother for Gabriel—but the idea of someone entertaining to dance with or converse with at these dreary balls was a pleasant one.
He doubted she’d still
be outside, but he made his way to the front of the house. As he suspected, only a few footmen loitered about, though he could see the back of her hack making its way down the street, too far away to call out to. Had he a horse nearby, he’d pursue, but by the time he’d reach the stables, there would be no trace left of the hack. Disappointed, he searched the ground for a clue. How happy Prince Charming must have been to find that shoe!
“May we be of service?” asked a footman.
Nick shook his head. “Not unless one of you remembers the address given to that hack driver?”
“No, milord, I didn’t hear.” The footman looked as dejected as Nick felt, but then a flash of inspiration lit the man’s face. “Oh! But the driver is a regular for house parties here. He will be back as soon as he’s dropped the lady off. I’m sure you can ask him when he returns.”
Nick couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “Excellent! Please notify me as soon as the man returns.”
“Yes, milord!”
For the next hour, Nick barely noticed how dreadful the ball was. He didn’t want to overstate the matter, but he was full of a happiness that had been absent for a very long time. He could get used to having it back in his life.
When the footman sought him out, he made great haste to speak with the hack driver.
But when the man gave him the answer, his dreams of Cinderella crashed down. For any woman, no matter how charming, with any connection to Hector Dunmore could bring nothing but a rain of heartache upon him.
Chapter 5
Until a few days ago, Susannah’s comings and goings had been completely unnoticed by anyone in Hector’s household, except for her lady’s maid, Amy. Susannah had been low on her guardian’s list of priorities, and therefore the same had been true of his servants. Of course, because of her guardian’s reputation, she had been deemed unworthy to associate with other young ladies her age, so she rarely had reason to take advantage of her freedom.
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