“You seem busy Domani. Is that why your marriage didn’t work?” I asked then wish I hadn’t. Sometimes I could get diarrhea of the mouth. Domani looked at me shocked for a moment then he laughed.
“Actually, that isn’t why it ended. We grew apart and sadly, instead of trying to make it work, somewhere down the line we just gave up. She wanted to stay married so that people wouldn’t judge us and things like that, but I just couldn’t. I stayed with her another two years and they were bad because we were like roommates. The love was gone and so was the romance. I didn’t get that feeling when I looked at her like I used to. She wanted to convince me that, that was normal but I know couples that are in love and she and I just weren’t.
“We’re good friends now though as you see and we are better apart, which is good for my son. So what’s your story?” I felt extremely uncomfortable telling him mine because I didn’t want him to instantly judge me. A knock at the door saved me. Domani jumped up and walked over to it. I went over what I would say, as he grabbed our plates from Sister Gladys. He walked back over to me with plates smelling so delicious they made my stomach growl. I licked my lips as I grabbed mine from him.
“I’m still waiting ‘T’,” he said sitting down. I looked up at him. His words made me think of Hayden and how until he said that, I hadn’t thought of him even after seeing him today.
“I cheated on my husband with a man for two years and he left me. He got with a woman that I considered to be one of my best friends and he is now married to her with a daughter and one on the way,” I replied looking down. Domani grabbed my face and turned it to him.
“Hey…I’m not him so whatever you’re thinking that I think about that I don’t. It seems to me like you’re beating yourself up enough for the both of us. We all make mistakes. I don’t feel that any of us are in a position to judge the next person because in order for us to do that, we would have to be perfect. You cheated and yes, that was very wrong but it’s done. Once you know better you do better Tegan. He’s with another woman now so why are you beating yourself up about what happened? When he is with your friend living a completely new, happy life. Is that fair to you and your son for you to be stuck in the past? Don’t you deserve happiness too?” he asked me. I shrugged. I felt so exposed when he only knew a fraction of my story. I’d done countless things to tear Inga and Hayden apart. I felt wrong for even showing up to church because the hatred I had inside of me for them made me feel so bad.
“I shouldn’t be here. I’m sorry I came,” I said pulling my face away. I sat my plate down on the coffee table in front of us and stood up. Domani sat his plate down and stood with me.
“Tegan, I didn’t mean to upset you. Please…don’t go,” he said walking up on me. I looked at him.
“Why me Domani? I mean no offense to the Lord but you’re sexy as hell. You are successful, a man of God. You could be with any woman. You don’t have to go after someone like me. I’m damaged trust me.” Domani laughed like I had told him a joke.
“God’s love for us shines through during our times of trouble. I feel a pull to you that I have never felt before. I am far from worried about your past. Don’t let the television appearances and all the good things associated with my name blind you. I am a person just like you. If you could promise me one thing, I can assure you that all of your troubles will fade away.” I sighed looking at him. Domani grabbed my hand.
“Promise me you’ll try God and I can assure you will be okay. Can you promise me that?” he asked. I looked up into his eyes and slowly nodded. I didn’t want to be angry anymore. I wanted happiness and I wanted it now.
“I promise,” I replied. Domani pulled me into a hug and hugged me tightly.
“You won’t regret it Tegan,” he said quietly. I closed my eyes and hugged him back.
“I know I won’t.”
Chapter Twenty
Inga
“Everything looks good Inga. You’re doing fine and so is the baby,” my OB/GYN said wiping my stomach down. I was at the stage in my pregnancy where I didn’t get the ultrasound anymore. My doctor would check my urine, blood pressure and then run the monitor across my stomach that checked my son’s heartbeat. I was tired and pretty big for eight months. To say I was counting down the time was definitely an understatement. I was so ready to have this boy. He was always laying on my damn bladder and I had the worst case of heartburn that had yet to ease up.
“I’ll see you in two weeks Inga. We’re getting down to the wire,” she said smiling.
“Yeah, this time flew by,” Hayden said helping me sit up. I ignored his comment as he chatted with my doctor. Eric getting locked up at Harlow’s birthday party was just still so fresh on my mind. It was all I could think about. To me it screamed loud and clear that Hayden wasn’t over Tegan and well, it had me feeling like a damn fool. Then for Hayden to take Tegan home was the icing on the cake. I wanted so badly to run back to my parents’ home but I decided to stay home and just ignore him there, which was what I had been doing for the last few weeks.
“I’ll see you two in two weeks, enjoy the rest of your day,” my doctor said and left out of the room. I took my time as I slipped on my leggings and off the shoulder, thin sweater. I slipped on my sneakers as Hayden walked up on me.
“You want me to tie your shoe ma?” He asked. I nodded not even wanting to talk to him. Hayden dropped down to his knees and tied both of my shoes up. He rubbed my calf muscles before standing up. His tall frame towered over mine as he looked down at me. He was dressed casual like me, in grey Jordan sweats with a white Jordan t-shirt and wolf grey Dub Zero’s.
“You still mad Inga?” he asked. His ass knew that I was, so there was no point in answering him. I tried to step around him and he pulled me into his arms. I shoved his chest frowning.
“Hayden…I’m ready to go.” Hayden held on to me tightly.
“And I’m ready for you to forgive me. Damn, I told you that I didn’t have anything to do with that shit. Are you just looking for a reason to be mad at me?” I looked up into his hypnotizing eyes searching for an ounce of remorse for what he had done, but I didn’t see any.
“I don’t have to be Tegan to know that you’re lying to me. You and I both know that company that he is being accused of running belongs to you. Now let me go.” Hayden gripped me a little bit harder.
“This ain’t got shit to do with Tegan! I told you that I didn’t do it. He must have been a customer and got caught up some kind of way,” he said getting angry.
“Damn, so you really gonna sit here and lie to me like this? That’s some bullshit and you know it Hayden. We rushed into things and now here I am two kids and married to you when you still chasing behind Tegan. I really fucked up,” I said expressing how I felt at the moment. Hayden’s jaw tensed.
“Oh, so marrying me was a fuck up, huh? All I’ve ever done was love you Inga. How am I the bad guy?” I pushed him away and this time he let me.
“You’re the bad guy because you had me fall in love with you when you wasn’t fully over your ex. That’s how you are the fucking bad guy. Now my job is on hold and I’m basically a damn stay-at-home mom while you chase after Tegan and all of the men she fucks. I’m mad; in fact I’m mad as fuck because I was good! I was okay with being alone and starting over and you came in and sold me a fucking dream yet you didn’t deliver. That’s what the fuck I’m mad about. Now I might have to say goodbye to yet another man that I love because he doesn’t know how to treat me. It hurts and whether you want to admit or not, you still love her and I’m done waiting on you to be my husband. So now you’re going to wait while I decide what I wanna do with you and this dysfunctional ass marriage we are in.” I walked out of the office and left Hayden standing in the middle of the room looking like a deer caught in someone’s headlights.
After Hayden dropped me off at home, I called my sister to tell her that I hadn’t dilated anymore since my last appointment. She answered on the third ring.
“Hey Inga, a
re you ready to have my baby boy?” she asked. I grabbed Hayden’s stuff out of his side of the closet and sat it on the floor.
“I’m haven’t dilated anymore sis. What you doing?” I asked as I continued to clean out his side of the closet.
“Boo that sucks. You need to get with sexy eyes and have some sex. You still holding out on him?”
“Yep.”
“What the fuck you doing?” Hayden asked stepping in the room with Aaleyah. I ignored him. I had no idea why he was even back when he told me he was going to one of his bars.
“Inga…look, if you gotta take one for the team so my nephew can get here then that’s what you need…”
“Hello…hey sis…yeah I feel the same way. Inga tripping right now, she is going to call you back later,” Hayden said into my phone then ended the call. I wanted to slap the black off of his ass for grabbing my phone. I grabbed my baby from him. He looked at me as he put my phone into his pocket.
“So what, you putting me out? At eight months pregnant you’re going to tear our family apart over some bullshit?” I rocked my baby trying to calm myself down. The weight from my stomach and her got to be too much and I sat her down in her bouncer. I strapped her in and went back to pulling things out of his side of the closet.
“Inga, I’m not walking up out of this fucking house until you talk to me. You don’t wanna be with me anymore?” he asked stepping into the closet. I took a few steps back as I looked at him. What were we doing? I left Dante because of his games but this was my husband. We fell head first into being with each other not taking a second to really think about what we would do afterwards. How it would affect our family and us. We have so much shit to work on its not even funny.
“Hayden…I’m not going to run away from our problems but this shit here is for the birds. I can’t do this again. Be with a man that doesn’t know my worth, doesn’t respect me and just assumes I’ma put up with his bullshit. Good sex, new clothes, a new trip, none of that shit is going to be enough. If you can’t give me everything that I deserve then we need to call it quits. I thought that counseling was helping us until you pulled that shit with Eric and Tegan. Just for revenge, you said fuck everything that we were working on and you ultimately said fuck me. I’m tired…so tired of your bullshit. Somethings gotta give,” I said looking him in the eyes. Hayden didn’t look away as he walked up on me.
“And what is that baby? Whatever you need I’ma do it. Yes, I be on some other shit sometimes but I’m in love with you and I would never let you leave me without a fight. When I said that I was letting go of that Tegan and Eric shit I was telling the truth. The shit I had setup for him was already taken care of so I honestly hadn’t thought about it, but on some real shit, I didn’t stop it because he came for me first. Did you want to see me go to jail?” he asked grabbing my waist.
“Hayden, you know I don’t want that.”
“Then that was what needed to be done. A nigga like him wasn’t going to stop until I was locked up and I couldn’t have that. I’ma always do whatever I can to ensure that I come home to you and my kids. When I say it had nothing to do with him being with Tegan I’m serious. I’m so fucking tired of us fighting over this shit ma. Can we please both put forth an effort to let this shit go?” he asked. What I found amusing was that in his mind I was tripping and he was doing nothing wrong.
“Hayden, we were doing just that until you allowed for Eric to get locked up for a company that you have made millions off of. This shit is so fucking tiring. I love you I do, but right now, I just need some space. We can start back with the counseling and when I see some serious improvement then you come back.” Hayden’s face fell as he looked down at me.
“So you telling me I gotta leave?” I thought about his question. Was I saying that? I had a baby at home with a new one on the way but none of his drama was helping me either. I loved Hayden and the last thing I wanted was to see him move out of a home that we shared together, but what was I to do? He promised me things in counseling that he basically shitted on just to get revenge on Eric and Tegan. He was showing me that he still felt some kind of way about them being together and I was done playing this stupid ass game with him. I felt like words wasn’t working so I needed to show him I was serious. If he didn’t take this time to get his shit together then me and my kids didn’t need him any fucking way.
“Hayden that’s exactly what I’m saying. Get your shit and go.”
****
“Damn so you put Hayden out. Wow,” Elsie said holding my Aaleyah. I nodded looking around her spacious bedroom. We had just gotten back from her getting a treatment and she was looking so much better these days. I was praying for her around the clock.
“Yeah, I didn’t want to but I really had no choice. We started counseling a while back and was doing so good. We weren’t arguing or anything then Eric happened and I got fed up because Eric doesn’t deserve to be in jail just because he fucked Inga,” I said shaking my head. Elsie nodded then looked at me.
“Do you really think it’s all because of Tegan though? I mean….I know you don’t like to discuss Hayden’s street life but the fact of the matter is he sells drugs, even if it’s just to a small group of people. Yes, he told you he doesn’t anymore, but I know for a fact his ass is lying and before that he was heavy into the streets. I feel him on getting Eric’s sneaky ass locked up. If Eric had his way trust when I say, your husband slash baby daddy would be locked the fuck up. Eric’s really lucky because Hayden could have just gotten him killed. Eric’s connected to money so he won’t do his whole sentence any damn way. I feel no remorse for him. I watched him with Tegan and I swear his ass always looked like he was fucking plotting. You might not worry about your nigga or the way he makes his money but I do and I didn’t not want Eric’s ass around me. I’m so happy that nigga locked up,” she said and laughed. I looked at her for a second before laughing with her. Dante was a business owner so being with Hayden was different for me, because although he owned his restaurants, it was because of drug money. I knew plenty of people in the drug game, including my brother, but I was never told the ins and outs of it so I had no clue how it worked. All I knew about drugs was from what I had read in books or seen on TV. Hayden kept me completely separate from that side of his life. I knew how to protect my family and what to do if he got caught, but that was about it.
“I mean Hayden has never really told me about that side of his life Elsie. We sort of act like he’s legit. I know Tegan knew so why hasn’t he told me about it? Are we pretending to be people that we’re not to make each other happy?” I asked her. Elsie looked at me and shook her head. Her beautiful eyes saddened a little as she looked at me.
“That’s something you will have to ask your husband. Did he say how he set him up? I gotta hear this shit because he pulled some mission impossible on that stuck-up nigga,” Elsie said laughing. I had no idea she disliked Eric so much.
“Elsie, I didn’t know you hated Eric so much.”
“Inga, it’s not that I hate him I just don’t like his character. He was too damn sneaky then for him to try to get Hayden locked up was crazy. Elijah gets his drugs from Hayden so If Hayden went down Elijah could have as well. I know Hayden would never snitch but I didn’t know how much shit Eric had on Hayden. I mean, the nigga followed you and Hayden around and took pictures of y’all without y’all even knowing it. He could have caught Elijah doing a business deal with Hayden. You never know. Now I need the inside scoop because Elijah is walking around tight lipped,” she replied.
“Well he said that some chick named Red set Eric up over the course of a year to frame him, and that Eric was sleeping with her and the escorts which is how she was able to get all of his personal info. Once she had that, she gave it to some tech guy they had and he started putting up accounts and putting money in them. They put the company in his name and everything. He has so much evidence against him it’s ridiculous,” I admitted rubbing my belly. My back had been killing me these last few
days and now I was having cramps in my stomach. I bent over a little and Elsie sat up.
“Are you okay?” she asked rubbing my back. I nodded slowly standing up. I stretched and did a few breathing exercises. Elsie sat back. I shook my head as I felt a sharp as pain travel from my lower back to the front of my stomach. I bent over trying to take the pain that felt like it was slicing my damn stomach into two.
“Elsie…shit,” I panted. Elsie sat Aaleyah down and got off of the bed.
“Let’s go to the hospital babe. I think you done worked yourself into early labor talking about your husband. You just did this shit so you know what to do,” she joked but I was in too much pain to laugh. The contractions were now coming back to back as I slowly followed her and Aaleyah out of the house. I sat down in the front seat of my Audi as another contraction hit me so hard I started to cry.
“Oh shit! Oh shit!” I yelled holding my stomach. I closed my eyes and clenched my mouth together as I struggled through the contraction. I could hear Elsie on the phone with Hayden as she drove to the hospital.
“You’re doing good Inga, we’re almost there,” she said patting my leg. I pushed her hand away as a stronger contraction hit me. I sat up and counted down from ten hoping that shit would quickly end. I couldn’t get comfortable or anything. All I could do was stare at the clock trying to time when the fucking next one was coming. It took us a long ass twenty minutes to get to the hospital. She pulled up to emergency and jumped out. She ran into the hospital and came back with security guards and a wheel chair. They all looked at me as I climbed out of the car and sat down.
“She’ll be fine, you can park the car,” a nurse said to Elsie before wheeling me away. “Honey, are you okay?” the nurse asked pushing me into the hospital. That dumb ass fucking pain started in the lower part of my back and I sat up to brace myself. I held my breath as she wheeled me onto an elevator. “How many weeks are you?” She asked. The contraction hit me so hard that I gripped onto bars of the wheel chair.
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