by G. M. Berrow
“It’s… the silliest idea I’ve ever heard in m’ life! This is not something one of your parties can fix. Why can’t you be serious for once, Pinkamena?”
“Well, I just thought that it could be super fun if—”
“Fun?” Igneous interrupted. “Why don’t you go run along now and leave us alone with the princess so we can figure this out for real?”
Marble flipped her straight gray bangs, and nodded in agreement with her father.
Pinkie’s face fell. All she’d wanted to do was help—and in the best way she knew how. And ever since she’d left the rock farm to live in Ponyville, parties had been her whole entire life. Pinkie Pie loved nothing more than to make other ponies smile. Usually, a little laughter and fun could ease even the worst problems!
It had even worked the day Pinkie had gotten her cutie mark. She’d thrown her very first party for the whole Pie family, and they’d all laughed and danced and smiled! So why wasn’t it working now?
Pinkie looked to each of their faces. Nopony was smiling. Maybe they were right. Maybe she did need to stop being so silly all the time. Maybe it was time to be a little more serious…. If it meant that much to her family, then it meant that much to her. She made a decision right then and there.
“Mom, Dad,” Pinkie Pie said, looking to her parents. “I, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Pinkie Promise to be a super-serious daughter from now on and not to throw any more parties! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
Pinkie’s friends looked at one another in shock. There was nothing in Equestria that would make Pinkie Pie break a Pinkie Promise! The situation with the rock farm had just gone from gravelly to grave.
CHAPTER 7
Pinkamena Serious Pie
As soon as Pinkie Pie woke up the next morning, she went straight to work on becoming the new Pinkie she had promised to be.
“No more messing around, Gummy!” she said to her pet alligator. “I’m Pinkamena Serious Pie now. Please don’t bother me with any party invitations or fresh cupcake offers. No swimming in the lake or dressing in silly costumes. All my time will henceforth be devoted to finding a super-duper serious way to save the rock farm!”
Pinkie trotted over to the mirror on the wall next to her Pinkie Party Planner and took a look at her reflection. Her hair had already fallen a little flat against her head, almost as straight as Marble’s and Limestone’s. But she still needed something else to look really serious.
Luckily, the mess she’d made the day before while trying to find a party inspiration still covered the floor. There were flags and party horns and costumes all over the place. Pinkie immediately spotted a great accessory for her new persona.
“These are perfect!” Pinkie said to herself, snapping the goofy fake nose and mustache off her favorite pair of joke glasses and popping the frames onto her face. “Now I look like I mean business.”
Pinkie ripped down the Pinkie Party Planner and replaced it with a plain white calendar. It had lots of blank space to fill with important meetings and brainstorming sessions. “First on the Save the Farm schedule is to clean up this room! I can’t have party hats and noisemakers distracting me if I am going to be thinking of really serious ways to save the farm.” If she was going to focus, she couldn’t be surrounded by such fun, colorful stuff! It all had to go. Pinkie got to work packing up all her party things in boxes. She didn’t even bother to put each decoration and costume in the right place.
After Pinkie dragged the heavy boxes down the Sugarcube Corner stairs, she got to work on the rest of the place. Pinkie had just started painting her room a drab shade of brown when she heard a hoof knocking on the door.
“Oooooh, a visitor!” Pinkie yelled out, forgetting to tone down her giddiness. “I’ll be there in two shakes of a little lambie’s tail!”
Pinkie dropped the paint roller into the pan, and it landed with a splat. Specks of brown paint splashed onto Gummy, who responded with his usual blink. Pinkie bounded to the door and flung it open.
Standing there was none other than Twilight Sparkle. She was wearing her princess crown, which was strange because she usually didn’t unless she had to.
“Hellooooo, Twilight!” Pinkie sang out with a singsongy lilt. She quickly realized that the greeting sounded far too excited and corrected herself. “I mean… ahem. Welcome, Ms. Sparkle. How may I help you this morning?” She tried to keep her voice monotone, like her sister Marble Pie. It wasn’t so, so hard.
Twilight made a funny face. “So I guess you were serious about being serious, huh?” She stepped inside the room.
“Abso-tootley-lutely!” chirped Pinkie, then quickly added in her new voice. “I mean—yes, I am.” She looked down at Twilight through her joke glasses.
“Why are you covered in chocolate, then?” Twilight asked, looking at the brown splotches all over Pinkie. Twilight didn’t want to mention the odd glasses Pinkie was wearing. “Were you baking your famous double chocolate chip ‘chipper’ muffins again?” She hoped so. Twilight licked her lips just imagining the scrumptious taste of them. Pinkie was such a great baker.
“No, silly-willy Twilight!” Pinkie Pie said. “Look around! I’m redecorating! Or should I say… undecorating? Pinkamena Serious Pie would never have such a fun bedroom to play in. Once I fix all this stuff right up, finding a way to save the farm will be a piece of rock cake!”
“Undecorating?” Twilight said, suddenly noticing the blotchy brown paint all over the walls. What had Pinkie done? She loved her colorful bedroom! This situation was worse than Twilight thought. She had only ever seen Pinkie act this oddly one other time—when she and the gang had avoided going to Gummy’s After-Birthday Party. They’d only done it to plan a surprise party for Pinkie herself, but she’d gone all kooky. Pinkie had started talking to a sack of flour, some lint, a bowl of radishes, and a pile of rocks, claiming they were her best friends. This situation wasn’t looking much better.
“Brown paint? No parties? Straight hair?” Twilight asked. “Pinkie, this isn’t who you are! I came here to find you. We are going to plan the rock concert, just like you said! And we need your help.”
“Thanks, but no thanks, Twilight!” Pinkie said, shaking her head. “You heard them…. My family isn’t interested in any more of my little parties. So I have to find another way to save the farm.”
Pinkie picked up the paint roller again and began to paint. Her glasses didn’t fit quite right and kept sliding down her nose. Whenever she pushed them back up, she smudged more paint on her face. It looked super silly, but Twilight couldn’t even laugh. Her friend was in trouble!
Twilight trotted to the door, feeling defeated. “Well, Pinkie, I guess it looks like I’m going to plan a Ponypalooza rock concert. Let me know if you have any suggestions!”
Maybe, just maybe, if Twilight showed Pinkie how much the ponies needed her help with the party, she wouldn’t be able to resist.
CHAPTER 8
Pinkie-less Party Planning
It was unfortunate, but Twilight could already tell that Pinkie’s family wasn’t going to be much help, even though they’d finally agreed to let Twilight put on the show. Somehow, when they’d heard it from the princess’s mouth, it seemed like a better idea than it had when Pinkie said it. But it was too late—they’d already hurt Pinkie’s feelings, and now she was trying to be serious just to please them.
“All right, everypony. Let’s put our brains together and try to figure out how exactly Pinkie Pie does this,” Twilight Sparkle said to her friends. Twilight was surrounded by books on rocks, party planning, and rock music… but she had no idea where to start! Planning a rock concert was such a big task, and there wasn’t much time. “Then we can figure out how to get Pinkie back to her normal silly self again.”
Twilight picked up a purple book called Geodes of Western Equestria and began to read aloud. “ ‘A geode is a spherical stone that has a plain, rocklike appearance on the outside but on the inside contains a glittering, shiny cent
er that consists of—’ ”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged a skeptical look.
“I’m sorry, Twi, but how is studying rock books going to help us plan a rock concert?” Rainbow Dash asked. Unless it was a Daring Do story, Rainbow didn’t care too much for reading. “Shouldn’t we be out there getting our hooves dirty?”
“Maybe we should try recruitin’ some pony bands to perform at the show,” offered Applejack. “I heard that Octavia might know the bassist from Nine Inch Tails.”
“I could start on some decorations,” said Fluttershy. “Or at least try to.”
Twilight closed the book. “You ponies are right. This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
“Where are the Pie sisters? Surely, they have some opinions on the matter,” Rarity said. “It is their party, after all!”
“I doubt it,” answered Twilight as she began to use her magic to put away the stacks of books. Her horn sparkled, and the hardbacks floated gently up to their shelves, one by one. “If you haven’t noticed, the Pies aren’t too into parties. I only got the family to agree to let us put on the concert by telling them it was my official Royal Advice!”
“Where are they now?” asked Fluttershy, peeping out the window. “They looked so lost at the party yesterday.”
Twilight nodded. “I completely agree. That’s why Spike is giving them a tour of Ponyville. I told them that Spike was my Royal Tour Guide and it was a special honor to be shown around by him.”
“They sure do look up to ya, huh?” Applejack said, pointing to Twilight’s tiara. “Bein’ a princess and all!”
“Now if only they’d believe me when I say the best pony for this job is Pinkie Pie!” exclaimed Twilight. “Then they’d see just how special she is to all of us here in Ponyville.”
“Don’t worry, Twi,” said Rainbow Dash, looking smug. “Once we start putting the party together, Pinkie won’t be able to help herself! I give her a few hours before she’s in here calling all the shots.”
Twilight looked down at her massive party to-do list. “Rainbow—you’ve just given me a great idea. I know exactly how to get Pinkie back!”
CHAPTER 9
Perusing Ponyville
“And this is where we all go to buy our quills and sofas,” Spike told the visitors, standing in front of a little shop called Quills and Sofas. His presentation was met with little enthusiasm from Igneous Rock, who just stared back, chewing on a piece of hay.
“Is this where the princess buys her quills and sofas?” Cloudy Quartz asked. Marble and Limestone listened intently.
“Yes, Twilight gets all her quills from here, too….” Spike groaned. Pinkie Pie’s family certainly was starstruck by the idea of a royal pony in their midst. Every place they had visited, Cloudy had wanted to know Twilight’s opinion on it. Marble and Limestone didn’t say much; they just followed along. The two of them seemed to have an unspoken language that consisted mostly of blinks and nods.
“Does she send a lotta letters to Princess Celestia? To Canterlot?” Igneous questioned politely. “I’ve never been there m’self, but I hear it’s real nice.”
“Well, actually, I send the letters,” Spike explained. “She tells me what to write, and I put it on the scrolls!”
“Is that so?” Igneous nodded his head and eyed Spike suspiciously as they continued. He still wasn’t too used to hanging out with a talking baby dragon.
“I guess we can head to the Carousel Boutique next,” Spike announced, leading the way. “Rarity owns it! She is known around Ponyville as the prettiest, um… I mean, most fashionable pony in town!” Spike still had a hard time containing his crush on Rarity. He blushed, but Pinkie’s family didn’t even notice. They had their sights on something else.
All of a sudden, Marble and Limestone gasped. Cloudy yelled out, “Iggy! Look at that over there!” They trotted over to Cheerilee’s front walk and stared down at the glittering gems.
“This is what’s puttin’ us outta business!” Cloudy cried. “And I hate to admit it, but it does look real nice.” The sisters crouched down to look at the jewels, much like Pinkie had done the day before. Cloudy started to cry. “We’re doomed!”
Igneous hushed his wife. “Calm down, dear. We got a princess on our side now! She’ll fix everythin’ right up. Then we’ll all be back to work on the rock farm before you know it.”
Spike noticed Marble and Limestone Pie frown. They definitely looked like they could use a little less work and a little more play. Maybe they could come visit their sister more often and learn a thing or two about having fun. That is, if she ever switched back to normal….
“Oh, you’re right, dear. Everythin’s gonna be all right. Thank Celestia that Pinkamena is stayin’ out of it like a good li’l filly,” said Cloudy, looking down at Igneous through her glasses. “You know how that girl gets an idea in her head and won’t let it go.”
“Mmmhmmm,” Igneous Rock agreed, tipping his hat.
Spike felt bad for Pinkie. The way the whole family was treating her was ridiculous. She only wanted to help! And now she was driving herself bonkers trying to please them. Spike decided that the next stop on the tour had to be Sugarcube Corner. Maybe it would be just the thing to sweeten them up.
CHAPTER 10
A Visit to Sugarcube Corner
Pinkie had just finished changing all her bedroom accessories from bright, bold colors to shades of brown and gray when she heard somepony outside. She trotted over to the window. Down below, she spied with her little Pinkie Eye—her family! They were with Spike, who appeared to be gesturing wildly at Sugarcube Corner.
“Hey! Hey, parents! Up heeeeere!” Pinkie was excited to show them how serious she could be. “Look up here!” Pinkie shouted again.
Finally, they caught a glimpse of their transformed daughter. With her stick-straight mane and the glasses on her face, she was starting to look more like them again.
“Pinkamena! What are you doing up there?” Igneous shouted. The piece of hay he was chewing bobbed up and down in his mouth as he spoke. Cloudy Quartz squinted up at the window.
“This is where I live, family! Come up and see!” Pinkie shouted. She turned to Gummy and giggled. “Oh goody, goody rock hops! This is going to be fun! I mean—it’s going to be… serious fun.”
A moment later, Igneous, Cloudy, and Spike trotted inside the colorless room. Pinkie did a little twirl. “I undecorated! Just for you! Now I can be serious all the time!” Pinkie said, making a stern face. It didn’t suit her.
“That’s nice, dear. It’s good to see you’ve made it look more like the barn back home. Is that Granny Pie’s quilt over there?” Igneous pointed to the new blanket on Pinkie’s bed—a gray-and-black creation with quilted rock shapes all over it.
“Oh yes,” said Pinkie. “That’s my basalt blankie, all right! Where are Marble and Limey? I want them to meet Gummy!”
“They are waiting downstairs, Pinkamena,” her dad said, heading toward the door. “We don’t have all day to just chat! We have business with the princess.”
“Wait! You guys don’t even want to hear my serious ideas to save the farm?” Pinkie said, looking crushed. “I have been thinking real hard all day!”
Cloudy patted Pinkie on the back before trotting out after her husband. “That’s nice, dear. Tell us later on, ya hear?” Pinkie’s shoulders slumped. Once again, Pinkie Pie had been unable to please her parents.
“Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad,” Pinkie called out.
“Are you all right, Pinkie?” Spike asked, growing more concerned by the minute. “Are you sure you don’t want to help Twilight and the girls with the party?”
There was a little glint in her eye, but it quickly passed. “I’m totally fine-eriffic, Spike. I’ll just have to try harder! No parties! Pinkie never breaks a Pinkie Promise, remember, silly? Gotta go! See ya later, Spike!” Pinkie bounced out the door and down the stairs.
“Oh boy! That’s what I was afraid of….” Spike said, looking at Gummy. “We go
tta do something! Want to come with me to go find Twilight?” The little alligator blinked. “I’ll take that as a yes!”
CHAPTER 11
The Pinkie Trap
Rainbow Dash and Applejack stood in the middle of the road by Sugarcube Corner, waiting for Pinkie Pie to leave her house. “Are you sure this is going to work?” asked Applejack. She looked up at the big bunch of balloons she was holding in her hoof. They looked pitiful. Every single one was misshapen or needed more helium.
“Are you kidding? Of course it will!” said Rainbow. “Look at these! There’s no way Pinkie Pie will be able to stand how these balloons look. She’ll want to show us how it’s done. Then, she’ll be reminded of how much she wants to help with the party and everything will be back to normal!” Rainbow pretended to brush some dust off her shoulder. “Easier than riding the Dizzitron at the Wonderbolt Academy.”
“If you say so,” Applejack said, craning her neck. They’d been standing there for quite a while. “I just hope we didn’t miss her already.”
“Miss who?” asked Pinkie Pie, who had somehow appeared right beside them. “Are you giving somepony a balloon surprise?” Pinkie asked, struggling not to smile. She eyed the balloons hungrily.
“Well, not exactly…” Rainbow Dash said, playing along. “See… Applejack and I were just put in charge of balloons for the Ponypalooza party. How do these look, Pinkie? Perfect… right?” Rainbow paced around Pinkie like she was a royal guard interrogating a suspicious pony.
“Yeah, they’re, um…” Pinkie started to sweat, and her eyes began to dart around. She looked at the balloons, desperate to say something. Her hair even started to puff up a little teensy bit. “They look just…”