“That isn’t your fault, Rachel; you can’t control their feelings and actions any more than you can Janet’s. They have to decide they want peace; they have to change, not you.”
“At least I know I’ve done everything I can to appease them.”
“I can guarantee you’ll love my parents and they’ll love you, and we’ll all get along beautifully. Every time I mention you to them, they get more excited about meeting you and us marrying. They’re very happy for us.”
“I’m glad, Quentin, and I’m eager to meet them.”
They talked for a while about issues and details affecting both their lives, then Quentin said, “I handled that other nasty matter by phoning your local newspaper and Pete Starns at the TV station; I gave them interviews about the new league project and why Augusta didn’t get chosen and about Todd Hardy’s motives. They were most cooperative and professional. I got the feeling that Hardy and his type of journalism isn’t tolerated. Finding himself on the other side of an exposé should shut him up. If not, my lawyer will speak to the magazine editor about the repercussions of attacking you in print; I’m a public figure and have little—if any—protection against such articles, but you should. Whatever it takes, Rachel, I’ll do my best to prevent your exposure to further harassment. Hardy sent me a copy of the magazine by Express Mail; he really tried to do a malicious number on us and wanted to be sure I learned about it. I’m sorry, Rachel.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Quentin. We’ll forget about Todd, the article, and Janet. Hopefully they’re out of our lives and hair.”
“Maybe, but you can’t ever tell about people like them.” He wouldn’t be surprised if one of the tabloids got wind of Hardy’s article or was sent a copy and reprinted parts of it, but he surely hoped not. He didn’t want anything or anybody causing problems for them. “What’s up this week?”
Rachel realized he was moving on to a pleasant topic and was glad to reveal her activities. “An arts council meeting tomorrow, a Heart Fund meeting on Wednesday and a movie with Becky and Jen that night, bridge on Thursday morning, a meeting in the afternoon to discuss our current project to benefit the child and wife abuse centers, the art show on Friday, and the symphony and dinner on Saturday night with the Coopers and Brimsfords.”
“Are you going to the art show and symphony with Keith Haywood?”
“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. He’s nice, a real gentleman, and good company, but I don’t want him or others thinking we’re a couple.”
“In view of those pictures and implications, that’s smart.” And I don’t want to risk losing you to another man. “I did get those autographed items for your celebrity auction; they’re already in the mail to you.”
“Thanks, and I’m sure they’ll bring in good money. When do you leave for Mexico City to play in the American Bowl against Houston?”
“Friday, so we can rest and practice on Saturday and Sunday before we play on Monday. Since we’ll be up to our necks in practices and interviews, I won’t be able to call until I get back home on Tuesday. I’ll give you my hotel number Thursday night, in case you need to reach me.”
“Let’s hope nothing happens to warrant it. You be careful down there; watch what you eat and drink. You don’t want to be sidelined Monday with Montezuma’s revenge. And don’t be partying with those pretty senoritas.”
He chuckled at her playful tone and words. “Don’t worry, I’ll behave, and I’ll watch everything that passes my lips. The only things on my mind will be you and football. I promise I’ll be careful, but I am going all out to prove myself to avoid being cut from the roster, if I get to play enough to accomplish that goal.”
“Well, I’ll be watching on TV. At least I’ll get to see you; jump in front of the camera any time you can. Good luck, Quentin, I know this game is important to you.”
“If anybody can understand my feelings for football and what it’s like for me to give it up, it’s you, Rachel. When I was playing in high school, I also had my family and studies and farm work to concentrate on. In college, I had my studies and other activities, a life off the field, outside the game. It’s different in pro ball when it’s your life’s work. After I was drafted in ‘78, it became my driving force, my sole ambition was to be the best I could be, to rise to the top. Since then, I’ve practically eaten, drank, breathed, and slept football. My teammates are like family, some like brothers, the coach like a second father. It’s a major part of my life. At times, it was the most important thing in my life, along with my family. It’s full of challenges, rewards, and excitement. I love pushing myself to my limits and sometimes beyond them. My heart races and I get goosebumps and charged with energy when I hear a crowd roar my name, cheer a particular play, or see a monitor flicker my praises in bright lights. Winning tough games, earning championship and Superbowl rings, knowing my contribution was vital to a win, having my friends and coach pat me on the back after a cunning play, and setting records are tremendously satisfying. It’s beyond description to relate how it feels to gain the respect and admiration of teammates, opponents, the media, and thousands of fans.”
Rachel heard the longing and love in his voice as he exposed his feelings, probably as never told in such depth and earnestness to anyone else. Football was far more than a job to him, and she hated for him to lose it. But that day was coming, whether it be this year or the next. She hoped and prayed she was enough to fill the void it would leave in his heart and life, as he was enough to fill the one in hers.
“No quarterback or other player can win or lose a game alone, but it seems that way plenty of times. For sixteen years, my life has been centered around the sport: the practices, games, interviews, and even endorsements. I admit some of it has to do with the fame and fortune involved in making it to the top, but the main part is the sheer love of the sport and pitting yourself against such odds. To have to quit before I’m ready is like cutting off my arms and legs or cutting out my heart. I am my career, Rachel, or what it’s made of me. It’s hard and painful to imagine never playing again. But I don’t want Troy or Rodney or Jason to get hurt just so I’m needed.”
“That says a great deal about you as a person, Quentin. No matter what happens, I love you and I’m proud of you. When it’s behind you, you’ll know you did your best, and that’s what counts the most.”
“I do want to go out in style, not playing badly and booted out. I desperately want this final season when a threepeat is at stake and the sport is celebrating its seventy-fifth year anniversary. But I’ll retire before I shame myself, hurt the team’s chances for victory, or get cut as a has-been.”
“No one could ever say you’re a has-been or a failure, so don’t even think that way. You’ve won many awards, set records, not to mention that you’ve given pleasure to thousands of people worldwide, been a good influence on young sportsmen, supported many worthwhile causes, and become a wealthy and famous success. It isn’t your fault or a weakness that you were injured twice and that might halt your career sooner than you desire. Think of all the good things that have come to you from playing pro football for sixteen years. And think how it affected us: if you hadn’t been injured, you wouldn’t have been on that cruise years ago when we met. If you hadn’t been an excellent player, you wouldn’t have been sent to Augusta to scout it for Bill so we could be united. Everything has a purpose in our lives, Quentin; good or bad, it pushes us to the next stage. We learn and grow from past experiences, or we’re doomed to repeat mistakes. Whatever you decide to do after football, you’ll succeed because you’re smart, strong, resilient, determined, and brave, on and off the field.”
“You’re right, woman, and I’m glad you gave me that pep talk. You’re an intelligent, kind, and generous person, Rachel Gaines. Have I told you today how much I love you and need you?”
Heat spread through her body and joy filled her heart. “No, so you’re behind in your duty to me and our relationship.”
“I promise, you and our marri
age will be top priorities to me. Not even football could come between us. I love.yqu with all my heart, Rachel, and I do need you; I need what you bring to me and my life—completion. Thanks for understanding my feelings and for giving me such good advice.”
“We’ll always be there for each other, Quentin, in good and bad times. I love you and need you, too. I miss you like crazy; it would be worse if you didn’t call so often, but your phone bill is going to be sky high.”
He laughed and said, “It’s worth every cent to hear your voice.”
“You were absolutely fantastic on Monday night, Quentin; I stayed glued to the television during the entire game. You got to play a lot, so I know you’re ecstatic,” she told him when he phoned on Wednesday.
“Thanks, it was wonderful, and I played well,” he said in confidence, not boasting. “Coach Switzer knows Troy is great and didn’t need testing and shouldn’t risk an injury in a preseason game, so he gave me the chance to show what I’ve got left. Thank God, I didn’t fumble or trip or throw an interception, and I put some points on the scoreboard. I only got sacked once, and that was because that big fellow broke through the line and nailed me. I saw him coming so I was prepared to take his hit and protected myself. My knee and shoulder are doing fine today, just a little sore and stiff. Lordy, it was exciting when I couldn’t find a man open and had to run the ball on that last play in the third quarter, nothing between me and the end zone to stop me from crossing that line, thanks to great blocking. Do I ever love those guys, and they did a good job for me. I might be an aging mainstay and injury plagued, but I ignored any pain and went for the goal. Best run and six points of my career. What a rush.”
Rachel was delighted by his elation and success. She loved the sound of his voice, so full of pride and joy and vitality. No matter what happened now, he had that glorious day to remember. “The articles in yesterday’s newspaper raved about your skills, so did the sports announcers on TV.”
“Yep, they were kind with their words. ‘Course, everybody’s still wondering if I’ll make the cut or retire. Even if I did great on Monday, and I think I did, the Cowboys don’t need four quarterbacks. It’s rare for more than one to be put out of commission during a season. I won’t fool myself, Rachel, I think Troy, Jason, and Rodney are more valuable to the team than I am with these injuries; and judgment calls for the final roster can’t be based on friendship and loyalty to any player. It’s no secret that my shoulder or knee could go out again at any time and leave them in a bind if they kept me signed up. Oh, well, the decision isn’t mine to make, not yet. If I don’t shine and shine brightly in the next two games, it’s over for me.”
“Do Switzer and the other coaches and the owner know you plan to choose retirement over dismissal?” If you get that opportunity before they approach you, which I pray doesn’t happen.
Quentin was touched by the careful selection of her last word. “They probably suspect it, but we haven’t discussed the situation. I don’t want to make it appear to them as if my plans are set if they dump me; that could influence their decision, point them in the wrong direction if they believe I’ve already accepted the inevitable and won’t be bothered. I’ll just wait and see what happens in the next few weeks. Sorry I couldn’t call last night but our afternoon flight back was delayed by bad weather. We didn’t land until late last night and I didn’t want to disturb your beauty sleep.”
Rachel surmised he was terminating the earlier topic. “It’s been awful here, too; we had almost four inches of rain yesterday. The meeting with Cliff and Mr. Matheny went off without a hitch; the sale is in motion. Or rather, the Gaineses will receive their notice tomorrow, and we expect them to snap it up immediately. I’ll be glad to get that business out of the way. Janet wasn’t at church or the meetings on Monday and Tuesday; she’s taking a long trip, Cliff said. I haven’t heard from Todd Hardy again, and no one else has made any snide remarks about his story.”
“That’s good news. Have you been working on your novel?”
“Yes, and it’s going wonderfully; it gets easier and goes faster every day.” Rachel laughed and added, “Except when I have to work by hand when it’s storming, which has been frequent and unusual this summer; I can’t risk lightning zapping my computer and eating my chapters.”
“You do make a back-up copy, don’t you? Daddy does for his crop records; a wipe-out would be terrible. Computers can be replaced, but facts are hard and sometimes impossible to recall.”
“I make two, an extra in case one is in the machine when danger strikes. If I didn’t, I could lose the original on the hard drive and the copy on the disk in one fell swoop. Of course, I print out everything I write that day before I shut down; that way, I have a hard copy; but it would take a lot of time and work to reenter it. And any work in progress that hasn’t been saved or backed up can be lost forever; I’ve found that a scene is usually best the first time it leaps from my mind. The hardest part is trying to retrieve dialogue from memory. If I’m in to something heavy and the phone rings, I don’t answer it; that’s why I like to know when you’re calling so I can be ready to stop.”
“I understand what you’re saying; concentration is important, crucial. After I take a hand-off from the center, I can’t allow anything or anybody to distract me. If I do, their defense is all over me and I get sacked. Getting lost yards back can be difficult and sometimes impossible. Crowd noise, like a phone call, has to be ignored. You’re learning a lot, woman.”
“I’m trying to learn all I can about writing and getting published. I’ve started several files on how to do certain things, like submissions and research. I collect articles, and I’ve joined an author’s organization; and after I’m published—see, I’m gaining confidence—I’ll join two other groups that only accept published novelists. Most genres have conferences around the country so I think if I attended a few, I could meet other writers, editors, agents, and such. I wouldn’t be as much in the dark as I am now.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll do fine. You are going to let me read it after it’s finished?”
“Of course, and you have to be honest about its merits.”
“All I can tell you is whether or not I like the story and characters. I’m not qualified to judge writing skills. My friend is, when you’re ready.”
Rachel’s stomach seemed to do flip-flops. “Were you as scared when you played your first game as I am now?”
“Yep, but that’s normal when we put ourselves on the line. Just believe in yourself and do the best job you can and you’ll succeed. Trust me.”
They talked for a while longer before he said, “I’d better go now so I can call Mom and Dad before it gets too late; farmers hit the sack early.”
“Do ranchers?” she asked in a seductive and meaningful tone.
“Some do. I will if you’re lying beside me. Heck, if you’re there, I’ll be ready to turn in at sundown, maybe earlier, maybe without supper. Lordy, I miss you. It seems like ages since I’ve seen you and touched you. I miss your smile and looking at you and touching you and kissing you.”
Rachel tingled. “At least I got to see you on television, but I want and need more. I hope these next few months pass swiftly. I love you, Quentin. You take care of yourself. I know this is important to you, but please don’t take any unnecessary risks.”
“Don’t want to spend our honeymoon standing or sitting beside my hospital bed with me in restrictive casts, eh?”
“You’ve got that right. I can imagine much nicer things to be doing.”
“So can I, and it’s heating me up just to think about them and you, so don’t tantalize and tempt me without mercy, you sexy female. I love you, Rachel, and it won’t be much longer before we’re together again, for keeps.”
“I love you, too, Quentin.” Please stay safe for me, for us.
On Thursday, Rachel attended an historical society meeting, then wrote by hand for hours during a storm which dumped two inches of rain.
On
Friday, she shopped for Karen’s wedding and birthday gifts, then had a pleasant dinner with the Phillipses, who were friends in addition to being Karen’s new inlaws.
On Saturday, she wrote her daughters with news about Quentin, the sales of the candy company stock and rental properties to the Gaineses, and the fact she was passing part of their financial inheritance to them soon.
That night, she went to a wedding and reception for the daughter and the son of two friends in her social circle. It was a happy and festive occasion and everyone appeared to be having a wonderful time, including Keith Haywood who was with Betty Burke’s divorced sister. Becky had told her the two were seeing each other almost every night and a serious romance seemed possible, Rachel was delighted for both of them, as she had the man she loved and wanted, or would as soon as football season ended.
She enjoyed the evening immensely, talking and dancing and snacking on a variety of delicious foods; she even sampled the wedding cake and sipped champagne. She was relieved when those present had the good manners and kindness not to mention Todd Hardy’s wicked article or to question her about Quentin Rawls. She realized the reason her secret lover was omitted as a topic: no one knew how serious their relationship was. Though she had a great deal of fun, she yearned for Quentin and wished he were there with her, wished that beautiful ceremony had been theirs, wished this reception was theirs, wished the impending honeymoon was theirs. She had missed out on those things with Daniel in their rush to get married before her ill-fated pregnancy began showing.
Rachel glanced around the large room and the splendidly attired guests. She didn’t know if she wanted a large or a small wedding or if only she and Quentin would be present: that was something they would decide together. She smiled and nodded at friends she would be leaving soon. She would miss Becky and Jen most of all, but Dallas wasn’t too far away for visits. And, there was the telephone and letters to keep them close. She would have Quentin and her writing there, and she would make new friends. Yes, they would be happy, deliriously happy, she decided, ensnared by love and fantasies of a glorious future together.
Anything For Love Page 26