I gulped, trying to be brave. “Oh, yeah? Well, I don’t have to imagine emotions. I can feel you, and all you have is evil in your heart.”
He chuckled. “I do admire your spunk, Faith.” He began to pull on my hair, smelling it. I heard him moan. Oh, crap. I had to get him talking again.
“And you’re wrong about Lucas,” I said hastily. “He’s just my friend and that’s all he’ll ever be. You and me, we have one thing in common. I can’t feel love, just like you. I told you so on Halloween, remember? You know I don’t even believe it exists.”
Vincent threw my hair away. He brought his face so close to mine that I could smell his breath, the acrid copper of blood.
“You try and play me for the fool, but I will not be deceived! There is love in this world, I have felt it, known its treacherous depths, and now it has been stolen from me. All because of him! It’s his fault that my life has ended, right along with all the things I loved. So why should Whelan have love when I cannot?”
I swallowed and felt tears trickle across my cheeks, blown around in the wind. I looked over at Derek again, still bleeding freely. He was so hurt. I had to save him.
I heard Vincent make some sort of sniffing sound, like snide laughter. I looked around, and his face was placating. “You are not going into that cabin, Faith. Please, stop these sad attempts at stalling. It is pathetic.”
“The only thing pathetic around here is you. Don’t take your bitterness out on me.”
Vincent’s eyes sparked with rage. “Are you really so vain as to think this thing is about you?” He laughed softly. “How very wrong you are.”
“Well, what the hell’s it about then?”
“It is about settling a score! Righting the wrong that has been done to me and making the monster that caused my pain suffer like no being has suffered before!”
“What are you talking about?” I screamed back at him.
“I am talking about Whelan! It is always about him! He has stolen my life and made me this way, made me this hollow shell of a being, too hideous to see the light of day. He walks this earth living, breathing, feeling.” He grabbed my arms and shook me hard. “He is allowed to love you, while I have been damned for all eternity! How is that fair? How is that just?” He let out a roar, high-pitched and guttural. “I have been waiting over three hundred years for this! To finally cut him the way he has cut me. To settle this once and for all!”
He swiped my hair away from my neck, slashing me with his fingernails. His hand held my head to the side, and I struggled uselessly. I kept my eyes wide open, screaming and clawing, while Vincent slowly lowered his mouth to my neck. I felt his frozen lips close over my skin, even colder than the snow swirling around us. His tongue traveled up and down over the vein pulsating like mad beneath the skin that felt so helplessly thin.
“Please, please no.” I strained against him “No!”
Then something hit us both with the force of a train. I fell into the snow, crushed underneath Vincent. His teeth scraped against my skin and then he vaulted away. I sat up, clutching my neck. There was a white wolf standing at the edge of the clearing. But this wasn’t a werewolf. It was a real wild wolf. As soon as Vincent saw it, he dashed into the trees with a vicious snarl. The wolf followed in a rush, yipping as though it enjoyed the chase.
I didn’t hesitate. Not even for a millisecond. I raced toward the cabin and grabbed Derek’s feet. I hauled him inside and slammed the door shut. I flew to the window and heard the sounds of savage barking and snarling around the cabin. The werewolves were out there fighting—howling with the wind.
I heard a moan, and I dashed back to Derek. His eyes flickered open and he cringed, rubbing his forehead.
My hands flew to his head and found it uninjured. But how could that be? I’d seen him bleeding. There was blood everywhere, staining the snow and gushing from his skull. I tugged his hair around searching for the wound.
“What are you doing?” Derek asked, grabbing my hands.
“Hurt, you’re hurt!” I said, scrambling to get back at his head.
“I’m fine. You’re the one acting all nuts. What’s your problem?”
I stopped trying to maul him and collapsed into his lap, sobbing. “I thought . . . I thought . . .”
Derek shushed me. “It’s okay, baby. Calm down. Tell me what’s wrong. Did you have a dream?”
I stared up at him. He didn’t remember any of it. How was that possible? I took in a shuddery breath. “Yeah,” I said. “It was just a dream.”
Daylight came slowly the next morning, creeping in through the window and sluggishly making its way toward me. I know because I watched it. I’d stayed up all night, listening to the wind die away and turn to smothered silence.
I waited until I was absolutely sure that any and all vampires were safely sleeping the day away, and then I disentangled myself from Derek. I snuck out of the cabin and waited.
I knew someone was coming for us and I prayed it would be Lucas. I prayed that he was safe, that Vincent hadn’t found him. Killed him. I waited a long while, trembling in the morning light. The snow lay thick on the ground and heaped over the trees, making them bend under the weight. Branches creaked and crackled as birds landed, twittering to the morning. Snow fell to the ground with random thuds that made my pulse jump, and my breath shuddered in my throat as I struggled to maintain composure. It must have been hours that I stood, waiting for a miracle, but then I heard a voice.
“Hey,” it said casually.
I whipped around and saw Lucas leaning against a tree, barechested and grinning slightly. I leaped toward him and flung my arms around him, not even thinking that I shouldn’t. All that mattered was that we were alive!
For a moment, I just held him, basking in the warmth of his soft skin and feeling every inch of him against me.
I felt his body stiffen and I drew back, smiling sheepishly.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t thinking.”
His eyes were silver and tired. He looked exhausted, actually. His hair was tangled and his eyes bore purple circles. The side of his face was smudged with old blood.
“It’s fine,” he said hoarsely. His mouth was set in a stern line. “You wanna tell me what you’re doing out here?”
I bit my lip. “I—I got lost.”
“Faith, you promised me you wouldn’t go into these woods.”
“I know, but it wasn’t my fault! We were skiing and a little boy darted in front of me and I fell and got lost.”
“You fell?” He asked this like it was more important than the fact that I’d almost been bitten by a vampire—like me falling was the end of the world.
I nodded, not looking at him, feeling incredibly stupid.
“Are you hurt?” he asked gently.
“No.” I touched my nose gingerly, hoping it wasn’t bruised. My entire body felt like it had been through a giant washing machine. Everything was sore.
Lucas’s eyes roamed my face, touching the numerous scrapes on my cheeks. They swept downward to my throat. “Did he—?”
“He never bit me,” I said quickly, rubbing the spot where Vincent’s fangs had scraped my throat. I hesitated, wondering if I should ask. But I had to know. It was killing me. “Is Vincent . . . ?” My voice was just a whisper.
“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” he said. “Does Derek know?” His eyes were piercing into me, wondering if I had betrayed his confidence.
“No. I didn’t tell him. But last night I saw Derek bleeding, and then Vincent ran off and he was fine. Derek didn’t remember fighting with me or leaving or anything. How is that possible?”
“Vampires can screw with your mind,” Lucas said. “They hardly ever do it because it makes them weak—almost like a human. He must not have thought we’d come to protect you last night, or he wouldn’t have tried it. It explains why he took off running like he did, anyway. He couldn’t fight us because he’d used hypnotics to make you guys fight.”
“So
it was all to get me out of the cabin,” I said, mostly to myself. “It was all fake.”
“If I had been there I would have told you what he was doing. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
“But you were, weren’t you? The pack came and—”
“After the fact isn’t good enough,” he said. “You could have died last night!”
I flinched, surprised by his outburst, but also touched that he cared. “Don’t be sorry,” I muttered. “I’m the one who messed up.” I looked down, ashamed that I’d been so naïve. “Did anyone get hurt?” If someone from his pack had been injured ...
“No. Everyone’s fine.”
“You were bleeding,” I said, reaching up to touch his face. Lucas recoiled and I stopped, letting my hand fall to my side.
“It doesn’t hurt. I heal fast. You’re the one who looks like you got in a fight with a paper shredder.” His eyes were warm and caressing despite his joke.
I put my hand to my cheeks. “It was just a tree,” I muttered, embarrassed over my fall. “I want to know what happened last night.”
But instead of telling me, he just gazed down at me almost sadly.
“Faith,” he murmured. I looked up and his eyes touched mine, the only part of our bodies that could touch. He seemed to be on the verge of saying something big, something I desperately wanted to hear. His eyes deepened with a longing I could never understand. Then he broke our gaze with a pained expression and said, “Let’s go home. Get Derek and meet me out here.”
My heart sunk. I’d forgotten all about him telling me what had happened last night. All I cared about now was what he’d been about to say.
Reluctantly, I turned to go and then stopped, facing him again. “You might want to wash your face off and put something on. It’s going to be kind of obvious that something’s up if you’re out here half-naked and covered in dried blood.”
The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile. “Get in there and get that boy so we can go.”
I turned and went inside to find Derek curled up next to the dusty hearth with his mouth hanging open. I bent and prodded him a little.
“Derek,” I said. “Lucas is here to take us home. Get up.” I shook him. “Get up!”
Derek snorted and sat up, hitting me in the head in the process. I fell over and clutched my forehead.
“Ow,” Derek said, rubbing his head as well. “What’s up?”
I stood and threw my hat and gloves on. “Lucas is here. We’re leaving.”
“Lucas?” Derek asked, his tone incredulous.
I put my hands on my hips, staring at him blankly.
“I knew it! I knew this was about him. Where is that psycho? I’ll kill him!” He jumped up and ran outside.
I rolled my eyes and jogged out after him.
Lucas was standing in the middle of the clearing, face clean and clothed in a leather jacket. He wore his customary scowl and lazily looked over as Derek strode over to him. He shot me a look, and I threw my hands up. Derek was going to say what he had to say, and there was nothing I could do to stop him.
Derek marched up to Lucas and shoved him.
Lucas didn’t budge.
“What the hell is up with you, man?” Derek shouted. “What did you do to Faith? Why’d you get her mixed up in your crap?”
To my surprise, Lucas actually winced as though he’d been struck. Derek had hit a nerve, and I started forward, angry at Derek for causing it.
“What’s going on around here?” Derek continued yelling. “I want some answers now, damn it!” He shoved Lucas again, but only succeeded in unbalancing himself and stumbling backward. “What did you do to Faith?”
I stepped forward and stood next to Lucas. “Stop it, Derek,” I said firmly. “Lucas didn’t get me mixed up in anything. What happened yesterday had nothing to do with him.”
“Then how’d he know where to find us?” Derek snapped.
“Julian told him,” I said.
“I still don’t get what the heck is going on here!”
Neither Lucas nor I spoke.
“Tell me!” Derek demanded.
“Calm the hell down,” Lucas said. “Faith is fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine. Let’s just go home now, all right?”
“Don’t you talk to me about Faith,” Derek spat. “You don’t know anything about Faith or about me, so just butt out and get your own life!”
Lucas’s jaw tightened. “Fine,” he ground out. “I’m going down to my snowmobile and driving back to campus. Anybody who wants to come along is welcome to.” His eyes ripped into Derek. “Anybody who wants to be a dick and stay up here freezing in the snow can go right ahead and do that, too. I don’t care either way.”
He stalked off into the trees, and I heard the roar of a motor. A second later he pulled up on a giant black snowmobile. I swore I saw a halo over his head in that moment. I jogged over instantly, shoving a helmet onto my head.
Derek stood seething, his body rigid with fury.
“Come on,” I called. “Quit being stubborn and let’s get out of here!”
Derek seemed to fight off some inner turmoil that probably had a lot to do with testosterone and then stormed over.
“Sit behind Lucas,” I said, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to hold onto Lucas without making Derek uncomfortable.
Derek looked repulsed. “Why don’t you? He’s your little boyfriend now, right?”
Lucas turned around and said loudly, “Yeah. I am. You got a problem?”
Derek and I stared at him for a second, both of us floored. Derek threw a disgusted look at me. He tugged his helmet on and sat down behind Lucas, holding onto the sides of the vehicle. I knew he’d rather fall in the snow and die than touch Lucas.
I got on behind Derek and held onto the sides of the snowmobile as well, too scared to even think about touching Derek.
Well, now there were two people I wasn’t allowed to touch.
16
THE TRIGGER
It was late morning by the time we got back to campus. I had ridden with Lucas since Derek was no longer speaking to me. It was a silent trip, filled with this strange, uneasy sort of comfort. I was so happy Lucas was all right, that I’d managed to keep Derek safe, and that I’d managed to keep myself safe amidst my blunders. But now Derek was mad at me again. We had just started to get back to our normal selves, laughing and playing around together. It had only lasted a few hours, but I’d loved every moment of it. I was bummed to think that Derek would probably never speak to me again after what I’d put him through, and I wallowed over it the entire way home.
When we got to Lucas’s room, I crammed down a granola bar, washed the blood from my face and crashed. He must have known how exhausted I was because he didn’t protest when I hit the sheets. He just gave me this tiny, silvery smile and lay down on the couch, his eyes never leaving me.
It was nightfall when I woke up.
At first, all I could see was this blurry mass of tan next to me. Then I backed up and saw a face—a smooth, tan face with a perfectly straight nose and lips so immaculately shaped it was hard not to think about kissing them. Lucas’s black hair was tossed into his eyes, which were closed to the world. His breathing was steady. I looked around, confused.
We were lying on his bed together. I wondered when he’d left the couch. Had I been crying? Did I have a nightmare?
I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I watched him sleep for the longest time, his body so close to mine, yet not touching at all. I’d never been so acutely aware of myself, what my hands were doing, whether or not my legs were too close to his. And now we were so close I could have leaned in and kissed those perfect lips.
Lucas sighed in his sleep, and his eyes blinked open. He didn’t move away from me. He just smiled.
“Hey,” he said softly. I could feel his breath on my cheek, reminding me of the warm desert breezes I used to feel at home.
“Hi.”
“How long you been up?”
Lucas nodded.
We were quiet for a moment. I had so many questions, so many things I needed to know about, but foremost in my mind was, “Are you still mad at me?”
“No,” Lucas said. “I’m just glad we got there in time.”
“So that was one of your pack last night, the white wolf?”
Lucas’s lips twitched into a little grin. “No. That was a plain old wolf. When we change we can control the minds of the canines around us. We used the wolf to lure Vincent away from you.”
“Why didn’t you just come over and get him yourselves?”
Lucas’s right eyebrow lifted. “Did you really want a pack of werewolves surrounding you at the full moon?”
I felt my eyes widen. “No.”
“Let me see your neck,” Lucas said.
I frowned. “Why?”
“I smell venom.”
I slapped my hand to the side of my neck and held it there, frozen with terror.
“Calm down,” Lucas soothed. “If he’d bitten you, you’d know it by now. I think he might have grazed you though. Just let me see.”
I dragged my hand away from my neck and swept my hair back, tilting my head so Lucas could see.
“Yeah,” Lucas said. “He got you.”
I gasped. “What does that mean? Am I hurt?”
Lucas shushed me. “You have a burn where his teeth scraped you, but he didn’t break the skin, so nothing got in. You’re fine.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “I thought I was going to be a vampire.”
He chuckled a little. “No, that’s werewolves. Vampires have this whole ... process.”
“What do they do?” I asked, equally awed and disgusted.
His expression closed down. “Nothin’,” he said, looking away. “I don’t wanna talk about that stuff.”
“Why? Come on, I think I should know. I’m in this world now, whether or not I like it. I don’t want to be ignorant like I was last night.”
His eyes creased with distress, and I knew in an instant exactly what he was thinking.
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