“We’ve also talked to your therapist, and she agrees with us,” he added, like that was supposed to make me feel better.
A disgusting taste of bile slithered its way up my throat, and I quickly swallowed it back down. Tears started flowing as their intentions began to sink in.
“I can’t just leave here!” I shouted. “Tanner is here!” Blinking, I tried to stop the imminent tears, but failed.
My parents grew blurry through my vision. I watched the hazy silhouette of my mom rise from the couch and take the few steps towards me. “Daisy,” she rasped out, kneeling down onto her knees and grabbing my hand. “Please listen to me. You’ve got to move on. I’m not telling you to quit grieving or forget about him because no one will ever forget about Tanner. We all loved him.” I let out a low whimper at the sound of his name, sinking deeper into my chair. “He’ll always be in our thoughts. In our hearts. But you need to close that chapter and start turning the pages.” The pleading in her voice was going to break me. “Do it for yourself. Do it for Tanner. Live for Tanner.”
“It’s been five months!” I screamed, letting out a sharp breath. “Both of you act like I’m some eighty year old cat lady who’s been pining over her first love for decades.” My fingers clenched into my palms, and I could feel the skin breaking. “Give me some fucking time to grieve!”
My mom quickly went back to my dad’s side. Panic filled my veins waiting for what was coming next.
“Your Aunt Jamie has agreed to let you come stay with her and your Uncle Tommy. You can finish out the remainder of your senior year there,” he said.
“You’re trying to send me to Georgia?” I spat out, my heart racing.
My Aunt Jamie was my father’s younger sister. While my dad decided to stay in Indiana and become the town Sheriff, she studied interior design and moved to Atlanta.
I brought myself to my feet abruptly and crossed my arms across my chest. “You might as well forget it,” I told them. “I’m not leaving.”
The loud bang of my dad slamming his fist down onto the coffee table caused me to jump. “I will not have my daughter wasting away in her room day after day over some boy who’s never coming back!” he yelled. “Over something that’s never going to change.” He stood up, raising his voice. “He’s gone, honey. You need to come to terms with that and get your ass back on track.”
“And what if I refuse to go?” I asked.
“Then you better get your butt ready to go back to school tomorrow.”
“When do I leave?”
And that’s how I ended up on a plane to Atlanta.
I blew out a sigh of relief when the pilot confirmed our landing. Standing up too quickly, I whacked my head on the ceiling. “Jesus,” I cried out, wincing.
I gripped my bag against my chest as I walked out of the terminal and weaved through the traffic in search of a bathroom. Washing my hands, I glanced up at the mirror to see what I’d been avoiding at all costs. The reflection of the girl in front of me was almost unrecognizable.
My dark eyes had puffy circles underneath them, making me look almost lifeless. My tongue dipped out, running along my chapped lips that were beginning to crack along the edges. I swiftly pulled the elastic from my hair and watched the dull, dark waves cascade around my shoulders. My hair looked even darker against my pale skin. I cringed at the extra pudginess around my cheeks from my lack of attendance to the gym. With a shake of my head, I ignored my new insecurities and left the bathroom.
***
I heard my name before the tiny creature ambushed me and attached itself to my waist like a spider monkey. I looked down and spotted my tiny cousin grinning up at me with bright, eager eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re here to live with me!” she yelled out. Her grin showed off a smile missing a few teeth. A giant, pink bow was attached to her brown hair that was braided along her hairline.
“Hi Sophia, I’m glad to be here, too,” I lied, giving her an out-of-practice smile. I couldn’t exactly tell a five-year old that I was only here because I was forced. Her small hand grabbed mine, and she struggled to pull me through the crowd.
“We’re going to have sooo much fun! My mommy and daddy got me some new Barbies, and you look just like one of them! I will let you play with her and …”
“Sophia, sweetie, why don’t you let Daisy get her bags and then you can tell her all about your Barbies,” my aunt said, cutting her off and pulling Sophia into her arms. “As you can tell, all of us are excited for you to be here.”
The awkwardness I was afraid would take over the car ride to their house was washed away by my pint-sized cousin. I managed to get the full scoop on every Barbie she owned, the mansions they lived in, and the cars they drove. It was like Real Housewives: Doll Edition.
My jaw practically dropped into my lap as I glanced out the window when my aunt pulled into the driveway of a huge, brick house.
“Nice house,” I complimented, unbuckling my seatbelt. I opened the door, and a rush of warm, sticky air smacked me in the face. Hello humidity, you’d be giving my hair one hell of a stay.
“Thank you,” she answered, turning off the ignition. Her smile dropped a hint. “I only wish it wasn’t so far away from the family. It’d be nice to have them come visit and see the place I’ve spent so much time putting together.”
If it weren’t for her dark, curly hair, you’d think my grandma had an affair with the milkman. My dad either spent his time in his police uniform or old flannels. My aunt, on the other hand, was dressed flawlessly in a violet blouse and a black pencil skirt.
“Just wait until you see the pretty room we made for you!” Sophia screeched from the backseat, unsnapping her seatbelt before barreling out of the car. “I helped Mommy do it, too!” Her tiny legs skipped up the front walk as her hair swung in the air.
A new room? “You really didn’t have to do all that,” I said.
She gave me a warm smile. Leaning over, she grabbed my hand and squeezed it in hers. “It wasn’t a problem. I want you to feel at home here.” Her smile grew. “Plus, decorating is my passion. You only gave me another reason to do what I love.”
Chapter Three
I rubbed the back of my neck, allowing my brain to take in everything that had happened in just one day. Before I had a chance to do anything when I got out of the car, Sophia grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs to my new bedroom.
It was beautiful.
The large room was painted a light grey, giving it a relaxing vibe against the white windows. A huge, white headboard was perched behind a full size bed with a bright coral-colored comforter. A long, matching dresser ran across the wall across from my bed, and a flat screen TV hung above it. There was a desk sitting in the right corner with a coral lounge chair scooted underneath it. My favorite part of the room, though, was the over-sized French doors that led out to a private balcony that was all mine.
I slid my now-empty suitcase underneath the bed. My aunt and uncle had informed me during dinner that I’d be starting my new school, Atlanta Valley High, tomorrow morning. I collapsed onto my bed at the same time my phone rang. I glanced down at the screen and saw Tessa’s name lighting up. I hit the ignore button and snuggled closer into Tanner’s sweatshirt I’d thrown on earlier.
I didn’t tell her I was leaving, which most likely nominated me for the worst best friend ever award, if we were still even best friends. I wasn’t sure. I was sure, however, that if I did tell her, she’d try to convince me to stay. So I persuaded myself that I was too busy trying to get everything in order before leaving to call her. Truth was, I couldn’t pick her up when I didn’t even have the strength to carry my own weight.
I pulled myself out of bed, mentally cursing myself as I went straight for the album in my nightstand drawer. I grabbed my phone, opened up the balcony door, and stepped out into the sticky air. I strolled over to the ledge, taking in the dark night, and arched up on my tiptoes to look over the railing. Nothing but darkness. The same way I felt
inside.
I turned around and walked over to the small sitting area my aunt had set up. A red loveseat was up against the blocked-off ledge with an ottoman sitting to the side. A coffee table sat in front of the couch with candles covering it. I slowly crept to the couch, fell down, and stretched my legs out. I opened up the album and hit the music icon on my phone.
My head raced when I opened up the first page of the album. Photography and Tanner had been my two obsessions. My parents had surprised me with a new Canon Rebel for my sixteenth birthday. Most kids would’ve wanted a car, but not me. From the moment I got it, it’d been plastered to my hand.
I took a sad trip down nostalgia lane as I flipped through photo after photo. Every reminder of my old happiness had been captured and stored in there. My attention was caught up in the book until a high-pitched moan shrieked through the air. What the? Shutting the album, I turned down the music and twisted around in my seat.
A second later, another moan rang out, louder this time. It sounded like someone had porn playing with the volume set too high. I stood up quickly, on a mission to find where the obnoxious noise was coming from. I walked back to the edge of the balcony and looked over the ledge, but still saw nothing.
Another moan came, and I turned my head in the opposite direction, spotting a balcony slightly adjacent to mine. A dim light was shining above it, giving me a full view of where the noise was coming from.
Holy shit!
It definitely wasn’t porn on someone’s TV, but instead a live show. My eyes practically bulged out of their sockets as I watched what was happening across the yard.
The first thing I noticed, besides the ridiculous moaning, was the bare-chested guy sitting upright in a chair. His head was rolled back to the sky in pleasure while a naked, skinny blonde straddled his lap. Her hips moved up and down as she rode him. He let out a loud, deep grunt and gripped her thin waist. Her cries grew louder when her pace quickened. Jesus, the girl had some lungs.
The two were so wrapped up in each other and completely oblivious to the fact that they were putting on an XXX show for the entire neighborhood to see.
I let out a sharp breath, but kept my eyes on them. It was like they were glued to the two figures grinding against each other. Her sleek body continued her rhythm until they both finally groaned out their release, and she fell limp against him.
I stood there, completely frozen. I couldn’t wrap my mind around someone having sex in the open like that. Wait, who watched people have sex in the open? I was just as messed up as they were, if not worse.
At the same time I was getting ready to turn around and go back inside, the guy’s head raised up and he looked directly at my balcony. At me. Dark eyes smoldered straight into mine as I watched his mouth form a slow, sly grin.
Shit! I was busted!
Embarrassment flushed through me, and I swiftly covered my face with both of my hands. Fumbling around in panic, I ducked under the balcony ledge and crawled on the ground until I reached the doors to go back to my bedroom. I slithered into the room and kicked the door shut behind me. My crawling didn’t stop until I landed in my bed and pulled the large comforter over my body. I closed my eyes, begging my body to shut down and sleep.
That night, I prayed to God, Buddha, Obama, and anyone else that came to mind that I’d imagined the entire thing. I wanted to believe it was my messed up imagination and lack of intimacy that had conjured a mental image of seeing my neighbors have hot, passionate sex in front of me.
Chapter Four
My skin felt raw as I scrubbed it harshly with my loofah while hot water streamed down my body. I’d forgotten to take my sleeping pill, so I didn’t get shit for sleep. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was in a new bedroom, or the fact that I’d witnessed my neighbors screwing each other’s brains out. Either way, I’d tossed and turned all night.
Drying off, I tossed my hair into a wet ponytail and threw on a black t-shirt and jeans. It wasn’t my best look, but I wasn’t trying too hard, either.
“Happy first day of school,” Sophia yelled, when I walked into the kitchen.
She was perched up at the table with a small bowl of oatmeal sitting in front of her and sporting another gigantic bow in her hair. I swear the thing was as big as her head.
“I colored this picture for you,” she continued, holding out a sheet of paper. I grabbed it and looked down to see two stick figures holding hands in front of a pink house. “That’s me.” She pointed to the shorter figure with brown hair and a bow, of course. “And that’s you.” My stick figure was about three inches taller than hers; making me look like some deformed giant with curly, black hair, sans bow.
“Thank you,” I said, with a small smile. “It’s very pretty.” I grabbed a glass, filled it with orange juice, and took a seat next to her.
“Would you like something to eat?” I glanced across the room to find my aunt sitting at the island with a coffee cup in her hand. She asked me the question, but her attention was pointed towards the TV mounted on the wall.
“No thanks,” I answered, taking a sip of my juice. “I’m not really much of a breakfast person.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Sophia declared. “Isn’t it, Mommy?” To further prove her point, she scooped up a giant spoonful of oatmeal and shoved it into her mouth.
“That’s right, honey,” she answered, turning around and smiling at her daughter. She turned her attention to me. “Tommy is going to drop you off at school on his way to take Sophia to Kindergarten. Hopefully, we’ll have some time this weekend to find a car for you while you’re here.”
“You don’t need to do that,” I insisted, feeling uncomfortable. They’d already taken me into their home; they didn’t need to buy me a car on top of that. “I can take the bus.” I’d never taken a bus before, with the exception of the occasional field trip and games that I cheered at, but it couldn’t be that hard to figure out, right?
“Nonsense,” she said, waving off my response and turning her attention back to the TV. “You probably don’t want Tommy and I carting you around to school everyday. I remember how embarrassing that was in high school, especially when it was your dad dropping me off. He scared all of the cute boys away from me.” She laughed, shaking her head at the memory. I smiled because I could totally see my dad doing that. If I didn’t have Tanner, he would’ve done the same thing to me.
“Good morning beautiful ladies,” Tommy called out, strolling into the kitchen wearing a black suit with a briefcase strapped to his hand. Yep, he definitely had the whole, “I’m a badass lawyer, don’t fuck with me,” look going on.
“Hi daddy!” Sophia shrieked, jumping out of her chair. “We’re ready for school now.” She grabbed her pink, princess backpack and threw it over her shoulder.
We? Did the girl have a mouse in her pocket? Because I was not in her “ready for school club.” What I was ready for was to climb my ass back up those stairs and form a Daisy cocoon in that comfy bed of mine.
“I bet you guys are,” he said, laughing. He grabbed her lunch box off the counter and handed it over to his pink-loving spawn. He gave my aunt a quick kiss on the lips before telling her goodbye.
“Alright, Daisy, you ready to go?” he asked, while I rinsed my glass out and put it in the dishwasher.
My brain was screaming a huge HELL NO on repeat, but my head decided to turn against me. I nodded. “Let me just go grab my bag,” I replied.
I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time, to my room. I went straight to my nightstand for my phone, but it wasn’t there. What the hell did I do with it?
Then it hit me.
I’d abandoned it during my crawl of shame last night. Opening up the balcony doors slowly, I peeked my head out the door, just in case anyone was out there. The coast was clear. I grabbed my things, sprinted back into my bedroom, and locked the balcony door behind me. I slid my phone into my pocket and put the album back in the drawer.
Now, I just needed t
o get the day over with.
I headed out the front door, but my feet froze. My lack of sleep was playing juju tricks with my mind because what was in front of me couldn’t be real.
The guy from the balcony was standing in our driveway having an animated conversation with my uncle. I shut my eyes and opened them back up to double-check that I wasn’t hallucinating. Nope, he was definitely there, but now his attention wasn’t directed at Tommy. He was looking straight at me.
My chest tightened, but I forced my legs to start moving. If I stood there with a blank stare on my face any longer, everyone would know something was up. The closer I got to him, the bigger his smile grew. Not good.
“Oh, hey Daisy,” Tommy greeted when I reached them. “This is our neighbor, Keegan. He goes to the same school as you, and you’re both seniors.”
Great, now I was going to be classmates with my porn-star-wannabe neighbor. Why was he even in school when he already had a great career option in the making?
I was incapable of forming coherent sentences, so I opted to raise my hand slowly and give him a lame wave.
He was hot. I’d definitely give him that. His eyes burned into mine, making me nervous. They had a slight slant to them, but it was the color that intrigued me. They were a jaded green with a few grey spots that jolted through me. His hair was dark and cut short. I noticed a slight cowlick on the left side of his hairline. My eyes followed south, down his body, taking in the tight, black V-neck t-shirt covering his broad chest, clearly showing me he worked out, but also giving me a tiny peek of some sort of tattoo script.
This guy was the absolute epitome of a bad boy.
“Keeganator!” Sophia yelled, running up to him. He lifted her up in his strong arms.
Thank you for the save, little cousin. I wanted to give her a hug for saving me again from impending awkwardness. Was it possible to stick her in my pocket and take her to school with me?
Breaking Karma Page 18