“She’s on the second floor,” I said, heading towards the elevators. My mom told me they'd transferred Tessa out of the emergency unit a few hours ago. I rubbed my sweaty hands against my jeans before tapping my finger on the floor button.
The place was dead, with the exception of a few random people slouched in the uncomfortable looking chairs, scanning the magazines in their hands. I spotted Dawson slumped into a chair away from everyone else. His legs were spread wide, and his head hung between them. He either hadn't noticed me walk in the room or chose to ignore my presence. I gazed around the room once more, wishing someone else would magically pop up and give me information so I didn't have to ask him. No such luck.
I sat across from him. "Dawson," I said, softly, as Keegan settled into the chair next to me.
Dawson's head flew up and his eyes narrowed at me. "Nice for you to finally show up," he snarled, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair, glaring at me. "And you already have a new boyfriend. That was pretty fucking quick."
I jumped when Keegan exploded out of his chair and moved towards Dawson. "Hey asshole, what the fuck is your problem?" he asked, his hands clenching into fists.
Every single pair of eyes was glued to us.
"Dude, I have no problem with you," Dawson grumbled. "Just be careful with this one." His head tilted my way. "She treats people who care about her like fucking shit. I wouldn't even put myself in that situation if I were you, man. Just giving you a heads up."
"I'm sorry, Dawson," I whispered.
“I don't want your apology. Today isn't about you for once, okay? This is about your best friend and her accident."
"Accident?" I repeated. "She tried to kill herself. That isn't an accident."
He pulled himself out his chair. "Don't try to talk to her about that shit tonight. If you would've stayed around or at least answered her phone calls, you would’ve understood that Tessa hasn't been in the right state of mind lately, so it was an accident. She's in room two-eleven if you want to go see her. If you do, don't fucking upset her more." With that, he walked around Keegan's large frame and shoved open the door that led to the stairs.
"Ex-boyfriend?" Keegan asked, sitting back down.
"Ex-boyfriend's best friend,” I answered.
"Ah. That explains it." He had no idea. "Do I need to worry about the ex showing up next?"
"No, that definitely isn’t going to happen." I noticed the people around us staring.
"Nosy little shits," Keegan commented, loud enough for them to hear. "You ready to go see your friend?"
"Yeah, I won't be too long.”
“Take your time. I'll just be reading …” He paused to pick up the first magazine on the stack. He looked at the cover. “How to find your G-spot.” My eyes grew wide as he held up the Cosmopolitan magazine.
"I'm sure you have no problem finding that,” I said, rolling my eyes.
"Well, little Daisy, us boys don't have g-spots. But I’d be more than happy to help you find yours after I read this very intriguing article and become educated on the subject.”
Keegan probably knew how to give an orgasm the minute he was pulled out of the womb. I'd practically had one just rubbing against him.
"I’m not even going to answer that,” I said, walking away from him.
My feet squeaked down the hall. The door to two-eleven was slightly open, and I didn't know whether or not to knock. My mom never told me if Tessa knew that I was coming.
"Come in," a tiny voice called out from inside when I finally knocked. My body was tense as I moved into the room and maneuvered around the long, white curtain blocking our view from one another.
"Hi," I said, in a hoarse whisper.
The stuffy room was empty of any other visitors. Tessa was seated upright in a small bed watching the TV on the wall. IVs were hooked up to each arm and three different machines stood next to her, beeping in sync with one another.
Easing myself into a chair next to her bed, I looked over at my friend, taking in how different she looked from the last time I saw her. The once cheery face was now sunken in, making her look almost sick. She was skinnier than I remembered, nearly underweight. A large, white bandage was wrapped around her wrist, covering the damage.
"What happened?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
She looked away from the TV to me. "I tried to kill myself," she replied, her voice devoid of any emotion. "Obviously."
"I know that." I swallowed hard. "But why?" The back of my throat burned as I waited for her to tell me it was my fault.
"I just couldn't deal with it anymore." She slowly rubbed her temple. “It just became too much for me handle.”
“You couldn't deal with it anymore? I didn't want to deal with it, either. You can’t just off yourself because you don’t want to deal with real life anymore. That’s not how it works.”
She folded her arms around her chest and rolled her eyes. "Whatever.”
"I'm being serious! There are so many people who love you, and it would kill us to lose you, too."
Her blue eyes flashed with anger. "Screw you Daisy!" Her voice grew louder. "Not everyone can run away from their problems and leave their best friend like you did. I had no one here for me!”
"I'm sorry," I croaked out, a lump rising in my throat. "That was insensitive of me."
"For which part?"
"Everything. For leaving without saying goodbye, ignoring you, and for what I just said. I'm sorry." A single tear fell down my face.
"My twin was gone, and then I lost you, too," she choked out. "My parents are practically catatonic. They move around like fucking zombies, refusing to take care of Derrick or me. I just felt so damn alone, and I wanted to be with him." Her shoulders dropped as a sob tore from her chest and tears began to fall. "I knew he would make me feel better."
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. The feeling was too familiar.
"I know it sounds easier, but think of everyone you’d hurt if you did that.” I tried my hardest to keep my voice strong. “Your parents, your little brother who depends on you, me.”
"I know," she sighed.
Our heads turned to the door as a nurse came into view. "Sorry to interrupt, but visiting hours are now over," she said, walking to Tessa's side and checking her vitals.
"Thank you for coming, Daisy," Tessa whispered. "Even if we only had a few minutes, I’m glad you did.”
"Me too," I said sadly, waving goodbye and walking back out into the cold, deserted hallway.
I felt terrible. I'd been such a bad friend, but seeing her sitting there in that hospital bed changed something in me.
KEEGAN
Chapter Thirteen
I flipped through the magazine, reading a few lines of the article, “The Best Advice for Getting Through your Pap Smear,” before skipping over it. Thank God I wasn’t born with a vagina. That shit sounded painful.
Daisy wandered back into the waiting room in slow motion, her arms hanging slack to her sides, her face expressionless. She stopped at my chair and looked down at me.
Let's go," she said, sadness evident in her voice.
I closed the magazine and tossed it back down on the table. "That was quick," I said, pulling myself to my feet. "If you want to stay longer, I don't mind. I was just learning how to make it through a pap smear. How the fuck do you women even endure that?”
She shook her head, her ponytail bobbing from side to side. “I don’t even want to know why you’re reading about pap smears. But visiting hours are over.” With that, she turned around and walked back to the elevators with me on her heels.
When I saw her fly out of the lunchroom earlier today, I knew something was wrong. So I followed her. I wanted her to know if she needed anything, I was here. She could come to me as a friend. I knew what it was like to feel alone going through bullshit you think others won’t understand. I’d come to terms with my shit, but I didn’t know if she was as strong as I was, or if enough time had passed. That’s
why I knew I had to go with her.
Her hometown was nothing like Atlanta. It was small, and the snow-lined roads were completely dead.
“You hungry?” I asked, driving underneath the speed limit on the unplowed roads.
“No,” she answered, resting her head against the passenger side window. A small circle formed on the glass from her breath.
I ignored her response and turned into the first fast food place I saw. We didn’t stop and eat anything on our way to the hospital.
“Too bad,” I told her, heading straight to the drive-thru lane. “You haven’t eaten anything in hours, and I’m not letting you starve on my watch.”
"I can't eat anything right now," she mumbled, keeping her head against the window.
"Babe, I understand you probably aren't hungry, but you have to force yourself to eat something.” I repeated the same thing my aunt told me so many times when I refused to eat after my mom would disappear for weeks when I was younger.
“I’ll have some ice cream, then,” she said, looking over at me. She pulled out a few dollars from her bag and held them out my way.
Ignoring the bills, I tapped my foot on the brake when we reached the speaker and rolled down my window. I ordered almost everything on the menu. She might’ve thought she wasn’t hungry, but when she smelled the greasy goodness I ordered. her stomach would’ve change its mind. The attendant told me my total, and I pulled around the side of the building to the window.
“Here," Daisy said, shaking the money at me.
I ignored her again. "I got it."
"No, you drove all the way up here for me, so please just take the damn money."
"My mom told me to never let a girl pay for her own meal," I lied. My mom never taught me shit.
She muttered something underneath her breath, crumbled the money into a ball, and set it in my cup holder. I’d find a way to get that back to her later when she wasn’t being so cranky.
"Where to now?" I unwrapped one of the five cheeseburgers I ordered. I tossed a wrapped burger in her lap, ready for her to change her mind.
"Turn right at the next light. My house is on the end of that street,” she guided, dipping her spoon into her sundae and taking a large bite. “It’s right here.” She pointed to a two-story brick house perched on the corner when we reached her street.
I pulled into the shoveled driveway in front of the garage. It was dark, and I couldn’t see very much. We shuffled out of the car, our feet in the snow, and headed towards the bright light that was shining above the front door. The door flew open before we made it there. David stood in front of us, clad in his police uniform. I wasn’t sure if he’d just gotten home from work or was trying to convey a message to me.
"My Daisy girl," he greeted, engulfing her into his arms.
"Hi dad," she said, weakly.
"Keegan," he said, his voice turning deep. "Thank you for bringing my girl home.”
"It was no problem,” I said, dragging my hand through my hair and shaking out the snow. I followed Daisy inside to find Janis standing in the entryway.
"Are you two hungry?" she asked, giving Daisy a tight hug. "I can whip you guys up something real quick. I'm sure you're starving since you've been on the road for hours."
"Thanks mom, but we stopped and got something on our way here. We're just tired," Daisy answered, around a yawn.
I glanced around the room. The best word to describe it was homey. The living room was flooded with pictures and knickknacks covering the walls, tables, everything. I did a loop, studying the pictures as I passed them. Most of them were of Daisy, but my feet skidded to a stop at one in particular.
Daisy was wrapped in some guy’s arms, and they were posing on the beach. Her dark hair was shorter and curlier, and she was grinning wide. That smile was real, and I knew it was because of the guy behind her. Her eyes sparkled as she looked back at him.
My focus moved to the guy, the ex-boyfriend, I could’ve only guessed. The kid was the fucking poster child for the "All American Good Guy." He was the guy parents dreamed their daughters would bring home. He was the complete opposite of me.
With my curiosity still piqued, I looked at every picture of Daisy and golden boy. There were also a few with a blonde chick, too. I finally figured out who each person was when I reached a photo with the words, Tanner, Tessa, and Daisy, Spring Break 2009, scrawled across it.
So the blonde chick was the girl on suicide watch, who looked strangely similar to the guy who had his arm wrapped around Daisy’s waist. Interesting.
"Keegan," Janis said, startling me. "The guest room is made up for you whenever you’re ready.”
I nodded in response and followed her up the stairs. The guest room was plain and filled with trinkets like the rest of the house. I swear, I'd already noticed five different things that said, "home sweet home," on them. An older, wooden sleigh bed stood in the middle of the room with a large quilt spread over the top of it.
Janis left the room, and I pulled my shirt over my head, grabbed my phone, and slid off my jeans. I had a shit ton of missed calls and texts because I ignored everyone while we were on the road. I tossed my clothes on the dresser, crawled into the chilly bed, and started to answer everyone. Cora and Gabby were worried about Daisy, and I told them she was okay.
A soft knock drew my attention away from my phone and towards the closed door. "It's me," Daisy called through it.
"Come in,” I said. My tone was low, so I didn’t wake her parents.
The door creaked open, and she sauntered into the room wearing only a tiny pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, sans bra. I felt myself grow hard between my legs as I noticed the hard outline of her nipples through the thin fabric. Fuck, the girl was trying to torture me.
“Hey," I said, moving around to adjust myself. I scooted over and patted the spot next to me.
"I wanted to say thanks for bringing me here and really for everything you’ve done for me," she said, fidgeting.
"It was no problem.” I tried to tear my gaze from her breasts and calm my dick down, but it wasn’t working.
"You're really not as bad as everyone tries to make you out to be."
She settled down on the bed and set across from me, Indian style. My eyes dashed from her chest to her bare legs, and I fought the urge to bring my hand up and run it along her smooth, olive skin.
"People say I'm a bad person?" I feigned hurt, putting my hand across my heart, resulting in a smile from her. "You tired?" I drug out one of the pillows crammed behind my head and handed it to her.
"Yeah.” Her fingers traced patterns on the quilt. "I just can't sleep. It's so weird being here."
"Why?"
She shrugged. "It just is."
“Did everything go okay with your friend?"
"I guess, but I'm pretty sure she's still pissed at me."
"Why would she be pissed at you?"
Her fingers froze on the blanket. "Because it's my fault," she whispered, shaking her head.
"Bullshit. Did you slit her fucking wrist or hand her the blade?"
"Well no," she answered, shutting her eyes. "But I wasn't there for her when she needed me."
"She's not a little girl, and from the looks of it, you have your own set of fucking issues you're trying to deal with.”
"You don't understand," she stressed. "You wouldn't understand, but I left her at a time when she really needed me."
Her full lips started to quiver, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I kept my hold on her, dragging her across the bed until her back was against the headboard, and she was sitting next to me. My mouth became moist at the feel of her bare arm hitting my chest as she moved around to get comfortable.
"People do fucked up shit all the time, but you can’t blame yourself for it. You have to worry about fixing yourself before you can fix anyone else, babe. You’ve obviously been having a rough time dealing with whatever you’ve got going on, but you’re not trying to off yourself because of it. So what? You l
eft her. People get left behind all of the time. Trust me, I could write a damn book of how many times I’ve been left.” I paused, watching her eyes widen at my revelation.
Fuck, I was shocked at myself for saying that shit. I never talked about my problems, or my parents, or lack of them.
“Some people run away to get a fresh start. Your friend needs to find a way to be as strong as you are,” I added.
She scoffed. "I am far from strong."
My arms tightened around her, bringing her closer to me. "You are strong. I mean, you resisted my perfect charm, even when we shared a bed," I said, jokingly, remembering how great it felt when her warm hands ran over my chest.
She rolled her eyes, elbowing me in the side gently. "Just when your nice side comes out, you have to go and mess everything up with your stupid ego."
"You love it," I boasted, pinching her side, causing her to squirm. "And why was that guy being a complete asshat to you earlier? I mean, it’s cool to have your boy’s back and all, but that seemed a little overboard.”
She averted her gaze back to the blanket. "He's not mad at me about his friend.”
She was packed with secrets, a puzzle I just couldn't seem to figure out. I wanted to climb into her brain and unlock everything she was hiding.
"So you and Tessa were pretty close, huh? I noticed you had a ton of pictures of you two all over the house," I said, trying to mask my attempt at prying.
"Yeah, we've known each other since I came out of the womb. Our parents were best friends, and I guess they passed that torch down to us."
"So she tried to kill herself because you moved to Atlanta? Sure seems a bit overdramatic, if you ask me."
"Not exactly," she said, drawing out the words. "Her brother was my ex-boyfriend. Things didn't exactly, um, work out between the two of us, so I decided to leave.”
“I see." She’d run all the way to Atlanta because of a bad break-up? I guess that made sense as to why she was sad all the time. But weren’t high school relationships supposed to end? They weren’t supposed to last. I was certain there was some pie chart out there that supported my theory. “So have you lived here your entire life?”
Breaking Karma Page 26