by Lyn Denison
17th of May, 1896. I have read with much optimism of women in South Australia, who have, for the first time, exercised their right to vote. This is as it should be, for women are as much capable as men. It is to be hoped our State will follow this sensible landmark. The changes are a long time in the making since the first Australian Women’s Suffrage was formed in Melbourne over ten years past.
***
28th of July, 1896. With great joy, I have learnt that Georgina was safely delivered of twin baby girls on the 8th of July. They have been named Rose and Maria for Alexa’s mother and grandmother. Susannah tells me Georgina is a fine mother and deliriously happy. Alexa bursts with pride.
Maryann’s husband, William Reid, has lost his job again and seems disinclined to take a position with Richard. Next week they leave for Sydney where William hopes to get work. Maryann is to leave her baby daughter with Susannah and Richard until they are settled in Sydney.
29th of July, 1896. Last evening when I walked Margaret home after the store was closed, we stopped beneath the tamarind tree and I lifted her hand to my lips. She leaned against me, her hands on my chest, and she kissed me sweetly on the lips. In a trembling voice she asked me what she might do without me. I assured her there was no need for her to do so. She then asked me why I was, why I had always been, so good to her.
Because I love you, I had the burning need to say. The words trembled upon my lips as she gazed up at me with her clear, gentle eyes. Before I could prevent myself, I told her, my voice filled with much agitation and not my own, that I loved her with all my heart and my life. I professed to have loved her from the moment I had set my eyes upon her and that I would love her forever.
She gave a soft sigh, slid her arms around me and placed her head upon my heart. It was at this time she uttered the words I thought not to hear. She told me she loved me with all her own heart. Our kisses were urgent and I allowed my hand to rest upon her soft breast, felt her nipple harden against my hand. We both breathed so fastly, and I took her hand, drew her down the garden to the wooden seat behind some bushes, away from prying eyes.
Once there, I kissed her again and pulled her upon my lap. She murmured softly as I stroked her fine hair, her soft throat, my fingers finding her nipple again. She buried her face in my neck, nibbled soft kisses against my skin, made wondrous mewling sounds that further stirred my blood. I pushed aside her bodice and my lips suckled at her breast. Bold now, and consumed by great desire, I ran my hand shakily on her thigh, found her center through her underclothing. I was filled with love for her, and I made good use of the wondrous secrets I had been taught in that house of ill repute in Rockhampton years ago.
My own darling clutched me fiercely and whispered my name as tremors took hold of her body. She sobbed into my shoulder and I put small kisses on her earlobe, her hot face, and then her sweet, soft lips. I was much aware that she was overcome by shyness, and at last she haltingly told me that she had not before felt that way. I asked if not even with her late husband, but she shook her head, making her curls bounce softly against my skin. With tears upon her cheeks, she hesitantly related to me the horror and pain she had experienced when Will Gaines sated his husbandly desires. Had that cruel man been alive still, I fear I would have killed him again.
I soothed her tears and promised there would be no pain for her from me. This caused me to recall my vow to confess my secret, and I was held more by a monstrous fear. With much reluctance, I bade her take my arm and walk with me down the wide path to the Phillips’s back fence, lest we be overheard. After a time, I explained to her that I could never be a man for her. I explained the reason why this was so and assured her that I would understand if she wished not to marry me. She cried then and clutched my hand to her cheek. Likewise, tears flowed down my face as she professed to love me all the more. My sweet Margaret is a woman of Great Exception.
This morning Mrs. Phillips was the first to be told of our betrothal. I must now write a letter to Richard and find a way to explain to him my love for this most wonderful of women. I fear it will not be easy.
20th of August, 1896. Richard’s long-awaited letter arrived this day. His handwriting becomes spider-like, and I fear he ages now. He sends best wishes on my coming marriage and makes no recriminations. I was much surprised, and this leads me to fear his memory may be fading. I was saddened to hear my suspicions were not unfounded for, in the same post, arrived a note from Susannah. She tells me Richard’s health is not good, and he has given over much of the business to Michael. He tires quickly and his hands begin to tremble.
Georgina and the twins continue to thrive, and young Susannah grows quickly. Richard gets much joy from his grandbabies. They have not heard from Maryann and William Reid these past six months. When last Susannah heard, they planned to journey to England and had no desire to be reunited with their child. I admit to being much amazed by Maryann’s behavior. Susannah also sent her best wishes for my marriage and bade me consider bringing Margaret down to Brisbane so they may make her acquaintance. She fears Richard will not again be well enough to make the journey north.
1st of October, 1896. At last, my Margaret is finally mine. Each night I hold her close to my heart and pray to God I am worthy of her. Robbie sleeps now in the small room beside our own. Margaret has told him I am now his father and he hugged me tightly and asked if he could be allowed to call me Papa, as the young Phillips children call their father. The word is so sweet to my ears, and I am so thankful for the blessings that have become mine. Although I thought it impossible, I believe I love my Margaret more since we became wed. The pleasure we bring each other in our room is so much more than I have ever dreamed of. My life is now so fulfilled.
29th of December, 1896. Christmastime shared with Margaret and young Robbie was a thing to behold. After the boy retired to bed, Margaret and I quickly decorated a small tree the eldest Phillips boy had cut for me. We then placed gaily-wrapped gifts beneath it. We laughed softly like children and then kissed beneath a sprig of wattle. My Margaret’s kisses fired my blood, and I carried her quickly up to our room and lay her upon our bed. I took my place beside her and found her sweet, secret places. I am scarce able to believe my great fortune that this wondrous life is now mine.
In the morning Robbie’s eyes were wide with surprise when he saw the tree and gifts. He has implored me each evening to read to him from his book,Seven Little Australians by the author Ethel Turner. During the day he has sorely tried his mother’s patience with the tin whistle he received. I have suspicion that that instrument may be hidden away.
I am much blessed.
I read in the newspaper that the first moving pictures were played at the Tivoli Theatre in Sydney this past September. There were moving pictures that showed traffic crossing Westminster Bridge in London and a crowd of people in the Strand. I would much like to have seen this, though I fear I would not recognize the old country now after being gone these twenty-six years. I must ask Richard if he read of this amazing invention.
16th of August, 1897. On Sunday afternoon last, Margaret and I drove Robbie up to the summit of Towers Hill where we were able to gaze out over the town. It was a most inspiring view. To the west of the town is the Great Dividing Range, and then begins the boundless plains that stretch toward the Gulf of Carpentaria.
A shining report has been tendered concerning the town, which informs us that twenty thousand souls now live within four square miles of where the first prospectors made their camps twenty-five years ago. The town boasts many fine businesses—to which I humbly add Chaseley’s Store—many elegant residences, and many conveniences, such as electric light in the streets. The Post Office is to have a magnificent clock tower, with the clock being imported from England. This will be most pleasing to the eye. There is now a high-level railway bridge over the Burdekin River, which will serve the town in all weathers.
I have seen much change here in the town and find no regrets concerning my decision to venture north to make my life. F
or into that life has come to me my most treasured possession, my dear sweet Margaret.
30th of August, 1897. An urgent letter arrived this day from Susannah. Richard entertained a great desire to see His Excellency the Governor open the final stage of the New Victoria Bridge in Brisbane. He enlisted the family’s aid to carry him to the ceremony. This was also the sixtieth birthday of Queen Victoria, and Richard so wished to be there.
However, Susannah feels the ordeal was too much for Richard and his health declines so rapidly. She begs me come with all haste that I might look upon him one last time. Margaret can see how despairing I am over this news and agrees with Susannah that I should go. I cannot bear to be without Margaret, so I have made plans with Mrs. Phillips to have care of the store and I will set out at first light with Margaret and Robbie by my side. It is a journey I have so much wished to make with my sweet Margaret. But not for reasons so sad as this.
6th of May, 1898. This will be the last night Margaret and I and young Robbie will spend in our store. Tomorrow the new owners, a pleasant enough couple, will begin their new lives as the owners of Chaseley’s Store. We journey south once again, this time to our new life in Brisbane.
I am much thankful that I arrived in the city last year in time to behold my dear brother before he was taken from us. How he had changed, grown so thin, but his eyes brightened when they rested upon me. At first, he inquired with much cheer about my health, and the appearance of the weather, and I was moved to wonder if he had confused me with an acquaintance.
When we had been left alone, he then clutched at my hand and asked me if I was happy. I assured him I had never been more happy in my life. He admitted to not understanding how I could marry and he became agitated. I gently set him back against his pillows and bade him not to worry so. He was quiet for some time and then his hand in mine tightened. He asked if he had harmed me by his decision before we set out from London. I reminded him that the decision had been taken by the both of us and I prevailed upon him, in all honesty, that I had not suffered a moment of regret. He begged to be told if I felt unnatural. I assured him I did not.
He then said he was concerned for my wife, who he declared to be a most likeable woman. I sat down beside my dear brother and related the life, the awfulness, that my Margaret had suffered during her marriage with her first husband, Will Gaines. I told of how Will Gaines had left this world with nary a friend but a great number of enemies. Will Gaines was nothing but a cruel, cowardly drunkard. When I had finished, I swore to Richard that Margaret and I loved each other deeply, that I had every intention of keeping her safe and assisting her to raise her boy. Richard nodded and fell into a doze. I gently disengaged our hands, but he stirred again.
He began to talk of England, his eyes most melancholy. We spoke of the hardships of our old life in the mining villages, and of our dear Mam and baby Kate, taken when we were but children, of our Pa, killed with our older brother, Michael, in that dreadful mine explosion nearly thirty years ago, of our young brother Benjamin, crushed by a coal truck when he was but twelve years old, and of our sweet sister, Mary, who was lost with her wee babe. We were both of us then moved to tears for that which we had lost, and for what we had since found.
We buried my brother but ten days later. Susannah was inconsolable, but in a few days she had rallied, for she had the house to run and young Susannah to care for.
When it came the time for Margaret and me to return north, my sister-in-law tearfully begged us to stay, even though she knew we were unable to do so. I arranged for Georgina and the twins to remain with her mother for a few weeks and, after a discussion with Margaret, I made Susannah a promise we would somehow return to Brisbane and the family.
And so another journey begins. Tomorrow we make our way south to keep that promise.
Asha read well into the night, unable to stop until she had finished the second journal. As she carefully closed the cover, she realized tears were streaming down her face.
Chapter Six
With her new printer cartridge in her hand, Asha started toward the house. Vivienne had been as thrilled as Asha had been when Asha showed her what she’d found in the box. Asha had suggested she transcribe the diaries for Vivienne to read so they didn’t damage the old books, and she agreed wholeheartedly. So Asha had spent the morning doing just that. She’d given Vivienne the beginning of Georgie Chaseley’s first journal she’d printed out and she’d barely begun printing out the next section when the light on the printer began to flash. As she had forgotten to bring an extra cartridge with her, she drove down to the nearest office supply store for a replacement.
Asha strode around the garden beds, and something moved in her peripheral vision. She turned to see Joe Deneen sitting on the edge of the veranda, elbows on his knees, chin resting on one hand. His whole mien suggested he was feeling down. Hesitating for only a moment, Asha changed her direction slightly, her feet crunching on the gravel pathway. Joe looked up at her approach.
“Afternoon, Joe,” Asha said. “You look like you’ve lost a dollar and found ten cents.”
He looked at her and sighed. “That about covers it.”
This close, Asha could see his incredibly long dark eyelashes and the sad curve of his perfect lips. Couple that with his wonderful physique and, Asha thought, Whoa! Even a committed lesbian could see what a knockout he was. “What’s up?” she asked and he grimaced.
“Guess I’m a bit down.”
Asha paused. He looked much the same as Michelle had the last time she’d had an argument with her boyfriend, Danny. “Let me guess. Woman trouble?”
He looked up at her in surprise. “How did you know?”
“Maybe I’m just psychic.” She laughed. “Want to talk about it?”
“Nah!” He sighed again.
“Okay.” Asha went to continue on her way.
“I don’t understand women,” he said, frowning.
Asha hid her amusement and sat down beside him.
After a moment he turned to face her. “A guy just never knows where he is with women.”
“What happened?”
“I just don’t understand them,” he repeated with another long-suffering sigh.
“I’m starting to believe you.” Asha gave him a friendly nudge. “So, is it too painful to talk about?”
“It’s my girlfriend. Tammy. You might have seen her here helping me with the garden the other day.”
Asha had seen a petite curvaceous brunette shadowing Joe, but she hadn’t noticed the girl doing anything more than feeling Joe’s flexed muscles. “I believe I did see her.”
“She’s absolutely hot, you know.” His eyes fell to Asha’s chest and quickly away. “Fantastic figure. A real, um, she’s great looking. Other guys just drool. But, anyway, she makes me nuts.”
“What do you do?”
“Me?” He looked indignant. “Absolutely zilch. Well, nothing that bad. I just had a couple of drinks with the guys the other night after the game. We won, you know. It was just a couple. I mean, I’m not stupid, you know. I know if I have any more I get as silly as a cut snake. Apart from that, I take care of my body. I have to. It’s my job to stay fit.”
“Very sensible.” Asha couldn’t prevent herself from a quick glance at his physical attributes. “And you’re doing a great job, by the way.”
Joe flexed his biceps. “You think?”
Asha laughed and he grinned.
“But I’m not just a body, you know,” he said, sobering. “And I want Tammy to realize that. I know I’ve only got a certain number of years in the game, all that barring injury, so I know I have to plan for my future. I mean, look at your father.” He stopped and looked a little sheepish. “Mrs. C. told me you were Sean West’s daughter. He’s tops, by the way. But, anyway, your father knew he could only play rep cricket for so long, so he started his sports store. That was using his head.” Joe tapped his forehead.
“Mmm,” Asha murmured.
“And I’m planning for my
future, too. That’s one of the reasons I stayed so long after the game. There were lots of media people there as well, and I managed to get the chance to do a stint on Channel Nine’s Footy Show. It was a dream come true. You see, I’m aiming to do sports presenting when I retire from playing, and this could be my chance for a bit of exposure, to show what I can do.”
Asha knew with his good looks he had every chance of realizing that dream. “We all need a goal.”
“Right. And that’s what I told Tammy.” He bit off an exclamation. “But she wants me to go to some work thing of hers the night I’m booked to do the Footy Show.”
“Ah. A little shortsighted of her,” Asha said, wondering why Tammy wouldn’t be thrilled to be able to tell everyone her boyfriend was on television.
“Shortsighted? That’s exactly it.”
“You can’t suggest you go to the next of Tammy’s work dos?”
“I didn’t get that far. We both did some yelling and she …” He kicked at the pebble garden edge with his work boot. “She just walked off. That was two days ago.”
“You could try ringing her.”
“I know. The point is, I’m not sure I want to. I mean, she’s sexy as hell, but …” He stopped and sighed again. “I think she’s a bit immature.”
“How old is she?”
“Seventeen. Nearly eighteen. I think I might go for older women in the future.” He gave that a moment’s reflection and turned back to Asha. “Do you have a boyfriend, Asha?”
“No,” Asha replied carefully.
“Sorry.” Joe looked a little embarrassed. “That was a bit transparent. But you’re a foxy lady. How come you don’t have a boyfriend?”
Asha shrugged. “Guess I’m not what guys are looking for.”
Joe snorted in disbelief. “Yeah, right! You’re great looking, easy to talk to. Why wouldn’t you be?”