by TE Olivant
I needed to train him to walk across the ice like a Hunter child going on his first deer cull. But there was no time, so I could only bark out orders as they occurred to me. I hoped he took some of it in – I had no desire to drag his alien corpse home across the snow.
“Keep moving, it will keep you warm. Never trust the White. The sun shines off the ice crystals. See how bright it is? It flattens the landscape and it disguises hills and troughs. Step in my footsteps and you will be safe.”
To all these words he nodded, head down, and just kept trudging onwards. He didn’t seem in the mood for talking anymore, and that suited me fine: I had plenty to think about myself.
As we walked I looked back once over my shoulder to my original destination. The moment I had found the stranger I had had to give up my quest to discover the truth about my parents’ murders. Perhaps now I would never know, but it seemed to matter less than before. The boy that called himself Angel Sam represented a strangeness and a danger beyond anything I had ever known. I owed it to both my new clan and my old one to present him to my people.
I kept up as steady a pace as I could and after the first day I thought I would have to carry the stranger. When we finally reached a place where I could set up camp for lunch, he was cramping so badly he could barely move.
“Sorry,” he whispered as I helped him under a fur so that he could get some warmth into his muscles. He didn’t meet my eyes, but I could see the flush of embarrassment creep along his jawline. Even though I was irritated, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. Wherever he was from, it must be nothing like the White - he was not built to survive out here.
“Tell me something about your city.” I said, trying to distract him from his pain as I pulled some wolf meat from my pack.
“What do you want to know?” He took the bloody steak with a look more like horror than hunger. I bit into my own portion and swallowed quickly. The flesh of the wolf is bitter and rank, but there was no time to build a fire. After he had watched me for a few seconds Sam put the meat to his mouth and tore off a small piece. For a second, I thought he might throw up, but he managed to swallow it. I gave him an encouraging smile – he had just increased his chances of survival from non-existent to practically nothing.
“Anything, what is it like?”
“It is a dead place,” he said, massaging his calves. “And everyone in there is dead too, only they don’t know it yet.”
I was taken aback by his bitterness. He looked up and saw my expression, then seemed to reconsider.
“Well, at least it’s warm. And most of the people are all right, they just don’t realise what’s happening. There was one girl that I thought... Well anyway, they’re not all bad.”
“And how did you end up out here?”
“I poked my nose in where it wasn’t wanted. I guess I was looking for some kind of reason why we live like we do.”
“Did you find it?”
“No. All I found were more lies.”
“Do your people know that there others out on the White?”
“No. At least... I never knew. But something makes me think that others might have.”
“Shelter!” I shouted and Angel Sam nearly slipped in surprise. I had spotted one of the blackhuses on the horizon. Once there were many shelters on the ice, but now there were only a few left. We were lucky to find this one.
“What’s that?”
Sam dropped his pack on the ground and pointed towards a shape that had just walked out of the door to the shelter.
“Stay back!” I hissed as I squinted to make out what clan the distant man belonged to. He was silhouetted against the horizon so that I could barely make him out. A cold bead of sweat ran down my fur as I was suddenly aware of what a strange creature my new companion would seem to any of my people. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do with him yet, and I certainly wasn’t ready to share my discovery until I had talked things through with Swift. If we met with a Doctor or a Builder, I knew we would be in deep trouble.
A movement beside me made me turn my head. Sam had completely ignored me and was running towards the figure with a new-found energy. I grabbed the supplies that he had dropped on the snow and with a curse I jogged after him. It wasn’t until I was nearly at his shoulder that I could clearly see the shape that had emerged from the shelter. It was not one of my people at all, it was another like Sam: I could see the suit reflecting the evening sun. My jaw clamped shut and I felt every muscle in my body tense. I had never considered that there might be more of them out here. What had been one alien could now be an invasion.
The stranger stumbled towards us, and I saw again how unsuitable they were to life out on the White with their short stature and thin limbs. Any fears of an invasion quickly disappeared – they were more like helpless children than an army. No doubt this man would need my help just like Sam. How many more strays would I end up collecting on the ice? I walked up to Sam with a heavy step, already calculating how much longer the journey would take with another mouth to feed. I saw him embrace the figure, then spin him around to face me.
I saw dark hair inside the suit that framed deep brown eyes and full lips. This stranger was female. And in the instant our eyes met something hit me like a physical shock so that I almost lost my footing on the ice.
She shouldn’t have been beautiful. All my life I have been attracted to the women of my own clan, tall with thick bodies and strong legs, covered with soft hair that smelt like fires and blood. This girl was smooth all over, or at least in all the places I could see. Somehow the strangeness that had frightened me when it was Sam didn’t seem so out of place on her frame. She was different, yes, but in a fascinating way.
She looked me up and down, but did not seem afraid. I wondered what I must look like to her. Some kind of monster no doubt. The thought angered me – I was the human: they were the strange creatures. I saw her throat bob as she swallowed nervously, then smiled.
“I’m Lisanne.”
“My name’s Kyrk.” I could see that she was dying to ask me who – and what – I was, but Angel Sam had her by the arm and was assaulting her with questions.
“What happened? What are you doing out here? Are you all right?” He said, gripping onto her arm so hard I saw her wince.
“Hungry and tired, but all things considered, not too bad. It’s good to see you Sam.”
She held him tight and Sam closed his eyes like he was drinking in the moment. I looked away, embarrassed and decided to investigate the shelter.
It was one of the best preserved I had seen, and it even had its original water filter. Most of the shelters had long fallen into ruin, even though it was part of the pact of the clans to keep them serviceable for all to use. Out here near the edge of our land however, this little building had managed to survive, and it had probably saved the girl’s life.
I poked my head out of the door and watched her talking to Sam. She was incredibly lucky she had found the shelter, but there was strength there too. She had fought her way across the ice, found shelter and survived. And from her body language as she stood and gestured excitedly all around her, thin arms waving in the sunlight, she didn’t seem afraid in the same way Angel Sam was. She almost seemed at home.
I took another look at the high sun and sighed.
“We can’t stay here and talk all day,” I said and the two strangers jumped at my voice. They had forgotten I even existed, I thought. It was about time they realised that I was their only chance of living through the next few days.
“Kyrk was taking me to meet his people,” Sam explained to the girl.
“Why?” She asked, turning to face me, her expression full of mistrust.
“Do you have any other choice?” I said instead of answering her. “You have no idea where you are or what to do out here. Or would you prefer to return to your own city?” A pink tinge spread across her cheeks and the girl bit her lip so that it turned white.
“No.”
“Then we
carry on as before. We’ll refill our water from the filter in the shelter and rest for a few minutes, then we’ll be on our way.”
The girl grimaced but nodded. The two of them whispered to one another as I sorted out the packs. I would have loved to hear her story, how she ended up outside but clearly she had no desire to trust me with it. I understood perfectly – I didn’t trust her either. Which reminded me of something that had been bothering me all day.
“I think you should let me carry the weapon.” I said to Angel Sam, startling him out of his conversation with the girl.
“Why?”
I couldn’t tell him that merely knowing that he was behind me with the weapon in his pack had made my skin itch.
“For protection,” I said, “in case the wolf pack comes back.” Sam went pale at this and pulled the terrifying thing from his pack.
“What is that?” Lisanne asked.
“I think it’s called a gun.” Sam answered. “When I was sent into exile one of my friends slipped it into the pack they gave me.”
“What does it do?”
“It’s a weapon for fighting animals. I used it against the wolves.”
“Let me see it, Sam.”
The boy pulled the machine from his pack and gave it to her. Lisanne turned it over in her hands, her gloved fingers running delicately over its smooth surface. I watched her face out of the corner of my eye and I saw her jaw set.
“I’ve seen one of these before,” she said softly, as if she was miles away. “You said it fired electricity?”
Sam nodded. “Not enough to kill the wolves, but it kept them away long enough.”
“It wasn’t designed to kill wolves.”
“What is it?”
The girl’s voice was soft as she replied, “It’s for killing people.”
Sam looked pale and took a step away from the machine.
“Did you know your people still had these things?” I asked her casually, watching all the time.
“No,” she said quietly, her hand cupping the object. “I had no idea.”
I held out my hand and there was an eerie silence as I watched her decide whether or not to hand over the gun. When she did, Angel Sam actually sighed with relief. I stowed the weapon in my pack and got to my feet, trusting them to follow.
Chapter 11: Lisanne
“I still can’t believe you’re alive!” Just seeing Angel Sam’s crooked smile after everything that had happened made me realise just how lost I had been.
“It’s good to see you too, Lisanne.”
Sam’s face was a strange mix of the familiar and the strange, his features warped a little by the plastic window of the suit. It felt strange to hold him without an inch of skin touching. When we had settled down in the tent of snow that the huge outsider had built we’d instinctively shuffled together.
“How did you get to the shelter? You can’t have walked there on your own from the city?” Sam asked now that we had a moment to ourselves.
The stranger had gone outside the shelter to make the fire, and I wasn’t sure if it was from consideration of our feelings or horror at being hear us. Each time I caught myself staring at his strange body with its teeth and claws and fur, I thought of my own. We must seem just as strange to him. Was he appalled by our skin and hairless bodies? I forced my eyes back to meet Sam’s.
“Someone found me. Remember the Physician?”
“That old guy? But he walked months ago.”
“He survived somehow.” I shuddered at the memory of his crippled hands. “He found me and took me with him, but he had these weird ideas... Anyway, it was all wrong...” I didn’t know how to talk about what the Physician had said. “So I left. I came upon the shelter, which I guess was made by your people?”
Kyrk put down the pack he had carried into the hut. He looked surprised at being spoken to.
“Yes,” he said, “we place shelters on the White to make travel easier. You never know when you might need a safe place to spend the night.”
“Well, I certainly needed it last night. So thank you.” Without thinking I held out my hand. The stranger paused, then stuck out his own to meet it. His hand was large with those long yellow nails that were more like claws, and I had to stop myself from flinching as he touched me. But he merely held my hand gently for a second then let it drop. I risked a glance at his eyes which were so dark brown they were almost black.
“What happened back in the city? Tell me, how did you end up out on the White?” Sam was clearly dying to hear my story.
“I followed...” I was about to say that I had followed him, but it seemed a childish thing to say when he was right in front of me. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to be followed? I swallowed and tried again. “After you walked...”
But Sam was shaking his head.
“I didn’t walk. After I found out about everything, the secret messages and the supplies, I went to see the Leader.” His face coloured. “I thought if I showed him that I’d found him out then he’d have to come clean. Of course, I should have realised he would just send me out into the White.”
How strange that he could have been so intelligent and so naive. Did he just think that the leader would admit everything? But then Sam had always been impulsive. I looked at his curls peeking out around the face panel of his suit and I smiled. I was here for him now, and together we could survive.
I hugged him again, then held him out at arm’s length to look at him. He laughed nervously and looked at the strange creature who had called himself Kyrk. I let my hands drop.
“How have you survived since your exile?” I asked.
“Luck mostly. I made the rations in the pack last as long as I could, but then I got caught by the wolf pack.”
“Wolves? Real wolves? Four legged carnivores, hunt in packs, wolves!” Of course, compared to the hairy beast walking on two legs next to me, wolves were nothing special, but I couldn’t help but be excited.
“They were not fun Lisanne,” Sam said drily, “they nearly killed me.”
One look at his face told me I had gone too far. “Sorry Sam, this is all just so new to me. So how did you beat them?”
“I didn’t, Kyrk rescued me.” I saw the strange man raise his eyebrows when Sam said his name. He didn’t pause in his examination of his pack, carefully checking supplies and making repairs where needed.
“Well, I guess the Physician rescued me too. And he had something interesting to tell me.” Struggling for the words, I somehow managed to tell Sam about the Doctor’s manipulation of me, and the fact that I was a higher grade than any of us had thought.
“All of this was because you’re a ninety.”
I had almost left that part of the story out, and when I saw Sam’s face I wished that I had.
“But Sam, none of that matters out here.”
He shrugged. “You survived on your own, you found shelter, unlike me. Actions of a ninety I guess.” I didn’t like the bitterness in his voice.
“If you and this Kyrk person hadn’t turned up when you did, I would have been in real trouble too Sam.”
But he didn’t seem to listen, just stared at the flicker of the fire.
Sam’s mood irritated me but I tried to ignore it. After all, he had been through just as much as I had, if not more, since the day of his exile.
The creature called Kyrk handed us some kind of reddish brown substance and told me to eat it. I was about to ask what it was when I saw Sam swallow some. If Sam could eat it so could I.
I put the damp piece in my mouth and chewed. And chewed. And then chewed some more. I felt it sticking to my teeth as I worked it round my mouth. I had never known food could be so difficult to eat, but Kyrk was watching me so I tried to keep my expression blank. After a while I began to taste the meat. It was rich and strong, and had a not entirely unpleasant tang of blood, like when you bit your lip and tasted it. There was an unpleasant musky aftertaste so I took a small sip of water before I let my disgust show.
Thi
s comes from an animal, I tried to tell myself, but the concept felt ridiculous. God knows which animal: I had been too scared to ask. After a bit more chewing I managed to swallow the meat.
“Well?” The caveman grunted.
“Fine.” I said. “Thank you.”
I looked across at his huge bulk. I thought about his fur and as I watched the muscles twitch underneath with every breath, I saw it for the first time not as a strange mutation, but as an asset. I peered at my suit and frowned. Kyrk’s fur meant he could live out on the White with no need for anything other than his own body. It gave him complete freedom. Whereas my suit was a prison.
I looked down at my hands in their perfectly fitting gloves. Before I had really thought about it I was tugging at the fingers until I had first one, then the other off.
“Lisanne...” Sam began when he noticed what I was doing and his tone was a warning.
“I just want to take them off for a few seconds; it’s warm enough in here for that.”
I reached around my neck and found the join where the face mask met the rest of the suit and levered my fingers underneath to break the seal. After that it was simple to pull off the mask and free my face. I rubbed my palms over my skin as if convincing myself that it was still real.
I saw the caveman – Kyrk, I reminded myself, he had a name – stare at me, and I met his eyes, determined not to appear as weak as I felt. Was that horror in his eyes? I couldn’t tell. The cold began to bite at my skin, but it was just a slight tingle. I knew that in a few more minutes it would become unbearable, but for the moment I felt like I could breathe properly for the first time in days. I looked over at Sam with a smile, wanting to share with him me excitement. But the face that looked back at me was just a frightened little boy.
“Please Lisanne, it’s not safe.”
I turned my back on him and began the slow process of putting the mask and gloves back on. I was a little disappointed in my friend, but I didn’t want to hurt him. He had been through a lot: no wonder he was scared. I leaned toward him to try to explain why I had needed to feel real air on my face, to let my fingers touch something other than artificial fabric, but he had lain down to sleep. Kyrk glanced over at him, and gave what might have been a shrug. This annoyed me even more – what did he know of Sam and what he’d been through in the city? After checking that my suit was sealed tight I lay down with my back to them both and waited for sleep to come.