“It’s not that, Gunnhild.” He went to her and gave her a brief kiss. “I’ve had many things on my mind since I returned.”
“So many, you haven’t even noticed that the others have left you?”
He thought back. None of them had been at the meals in the evenings, but then, many people hadn’t. Magnus’s, Eirik’s and Thorir’s warriors filled the hall these days, along with his own. Not many women, and he couldn’t blame them.
She played with the gold bead holding his shirt closed, but didn’t look at him. “Bótvi, Ethla, and Hrótha have caught the eyes of three of Thorir’s men. Ragnvé likes one of Magnus’s warriors and Sibba has spoken with one of Eirik’s. None of the men want to sail in your waters, so to speak, but with your nod, they just might dip in their oars.”
Had Eirik been right? “Have I been unfair to all of you, Gunnhild? Have I held you back from marrying and having families of your own?”
“We stayed of our own free will. You know that. I think as long as we were with you, we hoped there was a chance you’d choose one of us to marry. But we see the runes carved in the stone. Or at least, they do. I hoped, still. But when you kissed me just now, I knew it as well. Nothing was there for me. Ever since you brought home that little Christian woman, you’ve spent more time arguing with her than making love to us. She intrigues you. If I knew you wanted a fight, I’d have given you one. That which is too easy is least desirable.”
He could find no argument to that. Elfwynn had intrigued him. She was the one woman who didn’t want him. His looks, his wealth, his rank, all of it drew women to him like the shore drew the waves. But not her. She wanted no part of it, or him. She was a challenge and he had never been able to back down from a provocation.
“Gunnhild, it’s a passing phase, a temporary allure. I’ve agreed that she’ll leave when she finishes the sail. If I wanted her to stay, why would I have done that?”
“A sail. I may not have ever put a needle to thread, but even I know how long that takes. If you didn’t want her here, why did you set such a long task for her? It’s so you have the time to win her.” Before he could reply, she put her finger on his lips. “I’ve loved you well, Rorik. And if I were more certain of myself and less certain of her, I’d fight her for you. But still, the choice would be yours and I don’t want others to see me lose. Surely you, of all people, can understand that. Grant me the dignity of allowing me to be the one to walk away. With my head high.” Her chin trembled as she lifted her moist eyes to him.
He brushed her hair back, his heart full. “I’ve never held any of you here. Perhaps I should have. Now it’s too late.”
With a short nod, she walked to the chair where her shift lay. She slipped it over her head and it fell around her, hiding the beautiful body he’d never see again. His chest tightened as she wrapped her dress around herself and fastened the brooches at her shoulders. He understood her need for dignity. He had his own, as well. They were Norse. They would not kneel or beg.
Gunnhild walked past him, but he touched her on the shoulder and she stopped. “You’re part of Vargfjell. Will you remain here?”
She didn’t look at him. “For now. I still have my beauty and there will be many fine warriors here because of the war. Once it’s known that I’m free, I may find one of them. None will be you, but at least I’ll know I did have a part of you for a while. Just don’t do what I did, my love, and wait too long for what you want.”
After she left, he sank down on the empty bed. He’d always held tight to everything, except what truly mattered. The women had been a part of his life for so long. Now they were gone and he was alone. He had his family, though, and Vargfjell, so at least they would be there for him. In the day.
Here, in the night, when the darkness around him matched the shadows within, there would be no one to bring the light of a smile, or a caress to comfort him. He couldn’t bury himself in a soft body to forget or wake with loving arms around him. Those things had brought him a tiny flicker of radiance. But that spark was never enough to fully thaw the frozen winter that he was inside.
For fear that he would hurt a woman he loved, he had never loved. For his hatred of the dark, he had never slept without light filling the room. It didn’t matter. He could buy all the oil in the north and light every lamp he owned. They would never banish the shadows in his mind.
Even in the best of times, with crowds and laughter and revelry, he had existed in a twilit realm, as Lifa had said. Perhaps it was time to illuminate, not the darkness without, but that within.
Perhaps it was time to love.
* * *
“We’re agreed then?” Rorik looked at each of them in turn—Eirik, Magnus, and Thorir. Leif, Asa, and Kaia also sat in on the planning session in the hall. “Thorir will bring his ships here when his raiders come back from their journeys. They’ll join all of ours, since my own will have returned by that time. Based on the information we’ll have by then, we’ll go to sea and hunt a king’s fleet.” They all raised their cups in affirmation. “Thorir, you and I will leave some of our men here and at your village to protect the women and children.”
Thorir nodded. “My younger brother, Jóarr, will remain behind to carry on our line if I should fall. He’ll protect my people with his warriors. If the jarls hear of our battle on the seas, they may try to attack our villages from the south before we return. We must be prepared for that.”
“I have two ships patrolling the islands that lie south of the opening to the fjord, watching for any ships that might slip in here if the king tries to hem us in. They’ll warn us,” Rorik said. “I also have ships gathering information from those who live along the coast. They’ll be back soon.”
“It’s difficult to guess how many warriors the king will send here by sea.” Leif flipped a knife up and caught it by the hilt several times as he spoke. “It’s difficult, obviously, and he doesn’t know how strong we are. He’ll most likely underestimate us. He may not have heard about the marriages combining Thorsfjell and Haardvik. It joins Vargfjell to us also. If he had, I doubt he’d try you, Rorik. It’s a test and he’s not going to expose too many of his own men to a possible defeat.”
“I agree,” Eirik said. “A defeat would make him appear weak and he can’t afford that. Not while he’s eyeing the Sogn region.”
“They can’t gauge our numbers on the seas.” Magnus took a sip of his ale. “No one will know our true strength. It may help us next time. And there will be a next time.”
“Unless we wipe them out completely now.” Kaia’s eyes were like steel blades. “Send his men’s stripped carcasses in a ship back to the Vestfold where Halfdan is. Burn it in the fjord at Kaupang.”
“Oh yes. That would make me even more welcome there.” Rorik gave her a warning look. “We have to be careful. Don’t let it be known we suspect Halfdan’s presence in all this. All we’re doing right now is attacking other ships on the seas. It happens all the time. Sending a flaming ship to the Vestfold would give away that we know it’s Halfdan.”
Magnus caught all of them in his gaze as he looked around the table. “I agree. Some of you make your living by raiding other lands and that’s fine. I don’t. I’m a merchant. I have to have access to the great markets to support my people. I need to be careful who I alienate. Even if Halfdan controls the Sogn region, I still have to sail through there going to and from Thorsfjell. You have the information I learned from the people along the fjord. And I left a ship there to watch for Halfdan’s movements. I’ll back you all the way with everything I have, Rorik, but I have to be circumspect about it.”
Eirik drew a pattern in a puddle of spilled ale on the table. “At least if anyone sees Magnus’s ships here, they’ll think they still belong to me.” He hesitated as he looked at the symbol he’d drawn. “I’m much closer to Halfdan than any of you. Just across the mountains, in fact. And the Sogn is just north of me. I don’t see any real confrontation with him until the spring. By that time, my shipwrights will
have several new ships ready for me if I have them work through the winter. I’ll have back the men I loaned Magnus so my power will be at full strength.”
“More men come to me every week wanting to fight for me,” Magnus said. “I should have enough by winter to crew my ships and return your warriors to you, as we agreed.”
“Don’t forget,” Rorik said, “any ships we capture are ours. We split them between us. If he sends as many as I think he will, and if we can get all of them, it will double our strength.”
The men banged their mugs on the table in agreement.
“That’s all well and good,” Asa said. “But I agree with Kaia. We need to strike hard and send a message to all in the north. Not just to Halfdan. Blood sends the strongest message.”
Rorik looked at Magnus. “How did the women in our families become more bloodthirsty than we are? This makes us look bad.”
A glance passed between Kaia and Asa. “We learned from men,” Kaia said. “In more ways than one. If you boys can’t handle the battle, my shieldmaidens and I are more than ready to lead you into the fray.”
“Just be certain to follow my orders, Kaia.” Rorik stood. “I promise all of you, I intend to make my displeasure well known in the entire Trøndelag. And in Hålogaland, and the Sogn, and Hordaland, and all points south and east. Right up to Halfdan’s front door. By the time this is all over, with the power that is in Lade now, and with what we’ll show him we have, Halfdan will be begging us to treat with him and offering us titles and even more wealth. In another few years, this region will be among the most powerful in the north. And it all starts here, now, with us.”
* * *
“Are you quite certain you won’t let me pay the ransom for the Christian and take her with me when I leave in the morning?”
Rorik almost spit out his wine. He swallowed with an effort and glanced at Thorir. The jarl’s face was serious, but there was a glint of humor in his eyes. Elfwynn was at the head of the hall, playing the harp after dinner, as he had asked. Even though other musicians played along with her, he had heard only her music. Through the evening, Thorir had to nudge him a few times to get his attention, he was so lured by her playing. He was being too obvious. That exposed a weakness and he couldn’t afford to be weak in front of anyone. Thorir had already focused on it.
“I’ve told you about her temper. As a friend and ally, I’d be wrong to saddle you with her. Besides, she’s earning the money back by weaving me a sail.”
“So I’ve heard. You waste her, Rorik. All day, everyday, when she’s not cleaning up after you, she’s been with her loom instead of with a man who appreciates her. You’ve made her all but a slave. I’d make her all but a queen.”
“Slave or queen, I doubt it would matter to her since she’s not home.” He eyed Thorir. “You would keep her for yourself, then.”
“Yes.”
“And I have promised her she’ll go home after this.”
“She would not want to leave me.”
A slow fire started in his mind. He concentrated on Elfwynn’s music, letting its beauty enter him, soothe him. The flames subsided. If he heard this every night as he went to sleep, the darkness could never enter the room. Her music would drive it away better than any lamp.
He took a sip of mead. “I have made a promise and I intend to honor it.”
“I wonder. You could send her back now and no one would think any less of you. No warrior would forsake you, no shipwright leave a vessel unfinished. None of your people would turn their backs on you, and you know that. They are too loyal. Yet you use that as an excuse to keep her here.”
“It’s not an excuse. You know how important our reputations are, if not to my people, then to the world.”
“And you must hold to what you have or get recompense for it. In our land, we can’t weaken or let another sway us in our resolve. I understand that. But take this word from me, my friend. I have a few years on you and I was married to a woman I loved and lost. Before this, you’ve never loved. There will come a time when what you want and what the world wants no longer matters. All that will be important is her. What she wants, what makes her happy. When that occurs, you’ll know what love is. Only then, will you be able to let her go.”
* * *
Elfwynn poured out her silver and gold coins into her palm. She’d worked so long at home to earn these, and it was almost enough to take her mother and her to Strathclyde and away from Edward. Just a little more time and she would have been gone and never seen or heard of Rorik of Vargfjell.
It was too little, too late. She didn’t need the money now. Even if she made it home one day, it would be a long time from now. She could always sell her loom and her harp to raise the money again.
There was another need for the coins, one more imminent. She slipped the pouch in a pocket she’d made in her skirt and walked to Oslafa’s house. As she’d hoped, Turold was there with his mother, speaking with her outside.
She embraced Oslafa. “I’d hoped to find you both here. I’ve heard Finna’s father is making noise again about her marrying.”
“Yes,” Oslafa said. “The word has spread that Rorik’s women have left him to marry other men. Finna’s father is taking this as a sign he would be more amenable to wed now.”
Elfwynn tried to keep her jaw from dropping. They’d left him? Why? His bed hadn’t been quite as rumpled in the mornings of late, but she hadn’t thought anything of it. What woman in her right mind would leave him? Besides her?
She gathered herself. “I’d heard her father was pressuring her again, but not why. Turold, I want to give you this.” She pulled out the pouch and handed it to him. “I had it with me when I came here, but I don’t need it any longer. Perhaps it will help.”
He looked inside the bag and his eyes widened. “I can’t take this.” He tried to hand it back. “You’ve already done too much with weaving the cloth. I want to work for the bride-price.”
She put her hands behind her back so he couldn’t press it on her. “And end up losing her. If he can’t get Rorik to marry her, it will be someone else. With this war coming, there’ll be more men here and more chances for him to speak to some of them. Is this enough?”
Oslafa took the bag and looked inside. “Oh my. If it isn’t, it’s close. But the other problem is that he wants her to wed someone of higher rank than Turold.”
“You work here now, on the houses in the village instead of on the farms. That must be better work.”
“It is,” he said. “It pays more, but it’s still not good enough. If only I could be a shipwright. That’s prestigious work and I could do it. But I haven’t had the chance.”
“Keep that.” She nodded toward the bag Oslafa held. “Add it to what you already have. We’ll figure something out.”
“I’ll make this up to you,” Turold said. “I’ll make you something beautiful. A carved cross of sea-ivory, perhaps. I can do it. If I can get the ivory.” He embraced her. “I’ll pray to God each night for you. Surely He knows the good works you’ve done here and will bless you.”
Too late. “Your prayers are more than enough.” She reached up and touched his cheek. Such a fine young man should have the one he loved beside him. “I have to head back to the longhouse. I didn’t draw the water for Rorik’s sauna yet. I wanted to be certain to find you before you went to work.”
After they went into the house, she left, lighter of heart. Of course, it wasn’t because Rorik’s women were gone. It was because the money would go toward a better use now, and perhaps it would bring some happiness. Smiling, she lifted her head and stopped. Rorik stood in the road, his arms crossed, his eyes dark.
“It’s not like you to leave things undone, Elfwynn,” he said. “When I wanted my morning sauna and there was no water and no wood, I thought something might be wrong. It is, but not because of the sauna.”
“I don’t know what you mean, Northman. Nothing’s wrong. You were seeing Thorir off and I thought you’d be gone lon
ger. I’ll see to your water now.” She walked past him.
He caught her by the arm. “I told you to stay away from Turold and then I see you and he embracing. You caressed his face. I’m not pleased at your disobedience.”
“Disobedience?” She snatched her arm away. “What am I? A dog to come when you call and obey your every command? I think not. As long as I do what I agreed to, I can embrace a shipload of warriors and it shouldn’t matter to you.” She continued down the road.
He followed her. “Try it again, Elfwynn, and you’ll see what matters to me.”
“I already know the answer to that, Northman. Your ships and your wealth.” She whirled around to face him. “Oh, and let’s not forget your status and reputation that lets you trample over everyone’s life while you sit in your hall, untouched by anything and anyone. All your women left you, and yet you drank and laughed at the feast last night like nothing happened. Because in your eyes, nothing did.” She spun and walked toward the longhouse, silence behind her.
As she entered the front door, she glanced back. He stood in the road, staring at her, probably shocked anyone would speak to him that way. She wasn’t one of his simpering women and he should know that by now.
She went to the well at the back of the longhouse and drew some water. As she picked up a bucket to pour it into, a tiny snake moved. It had been coiled up beneath the bucket and she had disturbed it. It was a harmless thing, and she watched it for a moment. Then she smiled. A private little war. That was what she had promised Oslafa she would wage and that was what would happen between Rorik and her.
That evening, when she went into Rorik’s chamber to light the lamps, she brought the tiny creature with her. She lifted the lid of the small basket she’d put it into and let it crawl out onto the down mattress. After flipping the furs and blankets over it, she tucked them under the mattress and arranged the pillows at the head of the bed. Nice and cozy.
She finished up and went into her room. Sometimes she wove into the night, at other times, she talked with the women in the hall she’d made friends with. But tonight she didn’t want to risk being anywhere in Rorik’s sight when he met the snake, so she remained in her room and embroidered for a while.
Lord of the Seas Page 18