A door shut from off the kitchen, so I pushed to my feet and found Kason with his head inside the refrigerator.
“Hungry?” he asked, glancing my way.
I sat at the table, facing away from him and his ridiculously sculpted ass underneath his low-rising pants. “Cereal.”
“Always cereal?”
“Always cereal,” I said absently, eyeing the poppies. “Thanks for the juice.”
“You’re welcome.” He set down a cereal box and a bowl in front of me, a smile on his face. “It was freshly squeezed.”
I smashed my elbow into the box to open it, but he snatched it away from me with a shake of his head.
“I’m helping. It’s less messy that way, and there’s no need to destroy defenseless cardboard.” He shook the flakes out into a bowl without spilling any, his lips tilted in a smile I wished he’d wear more often.
“I liked the straw you made me. It reminded me of one my bro—” The taste of bitter memories cemented my tongue to the roof of my mouth.
“Your brother?” Kason bent to catch my gaze, but I shook my head and stared into my bowl.
Jake, the youngest Hawthorn, had wished for a swirly straw with a monster eyeball for his fifth birthday. His two dimples were like twin shots to the heart, which made it impossible to resist him. When I’d gone to buy it for him, the store was sold out and only had a lucky wizard feet straw. Not even close to being good enough. So I improvised, took on more hacking jobs to barter for more magic on my atern, and conjured a real monster eyeball. Once it was properly sanitized, I ripped off the wizard feet, attached the eyeball to the straw, and earned the coveted title for best big sister ever. Now, the straw was safely tucked away behind his closed bedroom door, residual black magic, and a thick layer of barbed wire, where it should have stayed instead of surfacing through my barbed, blackened heart.
Kason poured himself a bowl of cereal, too, his gaze sliding across the table toward me and probably hoping a quick exit presented itself so he could finally be rid of the woman with all the obvious baggage and who’d put his life in danger.
“So, here’s an idea.” I quirked an eyebrow. “You do what I tell you when the Diamond Dogs come back so I can focus on them and not you.”
He brought a spoonful of cereal inside his mouth and darted his tongue across his lower lip to catch a stray drop of milk. It was a small movement, one he might’ve not even been aware he’d made, but it made me squirm in my chair as heat spread between my thighs.
He chewed then swallowed. “I can’t. Sorry.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Your gun won’t do any lasting damage anyway since they have all the magic in the world to heal themselves.”
“I can’t just let you go out there and fight them off.”
“Yes, you can. I’m a witch. You’re a human, a human they now know about,” I said. “They know that you’ll end fae power, so when they do come back, they might bring backup. They probably will bring backup. Backup that’s high on the Isa fae food chain with more magic and twice the stink.”
“Then we need to leave. Figure out what to do with those poppies and run someplace where the fae can’t find us. But it’s not just your battle, Hadley. It became my battle, too, the second you burst in here. My gun might not melt their skin off—which they deserved after hurting you, by the way, so nicely done—but it did slow them down.” He dropped his spoon into his bowl and leaned back in his chair, fixing me with his impossibly dark eyes. “Let me help you.”
Everything he’d said whirled through my head, hiccupping once again over the words ‘we’ and ‘us’ and several others that I didn’t quite know what to make of. But all of it swelled a lightness into my chest that I quickly deflated before it became uncontrollable.
Even if I found a way for him to escape this house, where would we go? We wouldn’t survive the cold for long. Maybe Ty’s house? His dad was a suit and tie type who worked at Reykjavik’s Fae and Witch Relations Department, and his older sister supposedly cozied up to fae in exchange for more magic. Out of all the times I’d gone to his house, I’d never met either of them, so basically he was an only child. But if the fae knew he’d met me at Hell Here, then they were probably watching him too.
“You want to help?” I lizard-licked a cereal flake from my bowl and pierced him with a glare. “Then help me.”
He sighed into his next spoonful. “Not like that.”
“There’s something you’re not telling me, Kason.”
“There’s several things you’re not telling me, Hadley, so maybe I’m having a real hard time trusting you, and yet….”
“And yet what?” When he flattened his lips together, I sighed and asked, “What do you want to know?”
“Let’s start with the fae.” He pushed to his feet, strode toward the sink, and dropped his bowl in with a loud clatter.
With fluid movements. Not his usual stiffness at all. I must’ve really healed him last night.
He turned. “You’re bent on ending fae power, but why? So you don’t have to hack into their computer programs anymore? End winter so you can grow a garden at the back of your house which you haven’t left in two years?”
“No.”
“It’s personal, isn’t it?” He rounded the table and posted his arms in front of me to stare me down with a cutting glare. When I didn’t answer, he shoved away. “Good talk.”
He got as far as the door to the garage before I grew enough lady balls to blurt, “Revenge.”
With a nod, he turned to face me. “That’s about as personal as it gets. For your brother?”
I sagged into my chair, not at all sure I could put even the most basic words to what had happened to my family without cracking. “Your turn. I spilled something about me. Now go.”
He scratched at his neck and grimaced. “You mind if I ask you something first?”
“Yes, because you’re stalling,” I said with a glare.
“Well, yes. And no.” He ran a hand through his dark hair and paced from one end of the kitchen to the other. “You said the Diamond Dogs are coming back, but I assume they need to heal themselves, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And both witches and fae can heal, both themselves and others, right?”
“Where are you going with this?”
“You healed me last night, didn’t you? After I stepped outside and the poppies snuffed me out?”
“How did you know that?”
“Tell you in a second, but if you can heal me, then…” He inhaled the rest of his thought while looking at me in a way that made me feel vulnerable, like he was scraping away layers of dark magic. “Then why don’t you heal yourself? Your hands, I mean.”
I opened my mouth to hiss at him, but the impressive string of insults died on my tongue. “It’s complicated.”
He shook his head. “I’m just trying to help.”
“Well, don’t.” I stood and stalked away from him into the living room, my teeth bared when footsteps came after me. The need to cut someone’s face off was so much easier to control when I lived by myself.
As if reading my thoughts, he said, “I’ll lay out all the knives in the house for your flaying enjoyment if you’ll answer my question.”
“No.” I crashed on the couch and blocked him out by lifting Nasty’s lid with my forearm.
“Then if you won’t heal yourself, I have human medicine. Lots of it, a never-ending supply.”
I slammed the lid back down again and lowered my voice to a deadly chill. “It’s a disability, Kason. It can’t be helped. Guess you’ll just have to deal with it. I am.”
Lies. All of it, but I didn’t want to go there. The only thing I could hold in my cursed hands was the guilt, heavy and raw, I carried from that night, at having a small window of time to resurrect my family, to heal Dad before he sighed his last breath. And I’d failed.
I couldn’t find words for any of that to explain to Kason. He’d already rejected me once, possibly because
he saw a glimpse of all my failures whenever he looked at me. Besides, someone like him deserved a woman who was happy and well-adjusted. A woman who wasn’t me.
“Are you dealing with it, though?” he asked. “Is that what the wine is for? And the fennel seeds, an anti-inflammatory? Fennel seeds also offer protection, but if you ask me, they’re doing a piss poor job of it. I borrowed your laptop, by the way, to look it up.”
I sat up to give him a deadly glare. “Is that why you won’t have sex with me? Because I’m a wino with a disability?”
“How shallow do you think I am? You’re…” He waved his hand at me, either dismissing me or motioning to my hands. “You’re in pain, Hadley, and there’s no reason to be.”
I looked away, unable to find the words to clue him in to just how wrong he was. Instead of trying, I stood, taking Nasty with me. “I’m sure it’s great to be you, all knowledgeable and shit, but this is turning out to be a waste of my time.” I strode to the closet by the front door. “Desolati.” The ice melted from the entire hallway, and I managed to pull the closet door open that time for my coat and boots.
Kason watched with a palm to his head, his face screwed up in a grimace. “Hadley, what are you doing?”
“What’s it look like?” I left my coat open in case he tried to button it, in case he tried to change my mind with another burst of kindness that he often bracketed with bullshit questions I didn’t want to answer, and opened the front door.
Arctic air gusted in, carrying ice pellets that pinged against my cheeks.
“What about the fae? The Legacy knot?” He grabbed my coat collar and spun me toward him, his eyebrows drawn together and desperation lighting his eyes. “When you healed me, something—”
“Breaking the Legacy knot is easy. Just go fuck yourself,” I said and walked out into the howling winter day.
8
Where r u? I messaged Ty.
My hair snaked around my head, allowing the wind to skate down the back of my neck and freeze my ass as effectively as my front. I bowed against the pelting snow inside an alcove of an abandoned building on Naustabryggja, the same street as Hell Here, bundling up as much as I could, but I wouldn’t be able to stay out here for too much longer.
Ty had better reply soon because I wasn’t sure where I could go. As soon as the Diamond Dogs realized I wasn’t at Kason’s, they’d come searching, thinking I’d already figured out how he could end their power over witches, and the most logical place they’d look first was my house. That was the first place I’d thought of, too, but magic didn’t protect it anymore. If they’d broken through it already, I doubted I had enough magic on my atern that they wouldn’t slice through as easily as warm butter. Unless Ty could give me more.
After only walking about two blocks, I realized how stupid it had been to leave Kason’s house. And it wasn’t just the cold that had icicled that truth into my skull. His house was built like a fortress and magicked by some clever, powerful witches. But that wasn’t all. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed Kason himself. To end fae power, sure, but also to…what? I didn’t know exactly, but during the times when he wasn’t a total dick, I actually enjoyed his company. He warmed my soul, something I never thought would happen. But I wasn’t about to go back to him, either. Not yet, anyway. I needed a break, from him, from his belief that I could so easily be fixed, from his nearness that spun me about. All of it.
My laptop dinged. Did you find out something?
No, I answered, and about five minutes later while crouched in the alcove, I managed to type: I need somewhere 2 go.
His head appeared on the screen, complete with a bow printed in flowery skulls and a scowl I wasn’t used to seeing. “You have to go back.”
“Fuck you. I don’t have to do anything. The guy’s a prick.” Only he really, really wasn’t.
“Hadley, this is so much bigger than whether he’s a prick or not. Go back and make nice. Give him a blow job or something.”
I sank farther into my coat against a sudden gust of wind. “He’s more of a self-service type of guy, I think.”
Ty quirked an eyebrow. “So? Jump on in there while he strokes his broomstick.”
“Uh, no. He has no interest in me.” But his searing kiss, his hands on—and in—my body, the looks he sometimes gave me as if I were something worth holding on to, made me realize that was a straight-up lie. He did have an interest in me. He’d said I was extraordinary. And that was quite possibly the real reason I’d left. Because he made my dead, black heart beat again with an interest of my own, and that scared me to fucking death.
“Is he gay?” he asked.
The way he said it, so…revolted, made me lean away from Nasty’s screen. Ty, of all people, seemed sickened that Kason might be gay?
“No.” I raked back my hair with my forearm so he could see the full force of my glare. “He isn’t.”
He rolled his eyes in typical Ty fashion. “Of course he’s not. Meet me at Hell Here?”
“Is that near where you’re staying?” When he narrowed his eyes in confusion, I said, “Because of the Diamond Dogs knowing where you live?”
He nodded. “I’m staying a couple buildings down. How are those sweet pooches? Should we be expecting them today?”
“I laid them out last night with the Devil’s Sun, so no. Not anytime soon.”
“Wow.” He blinked and blinked again. “Uh, wow.”
I’d rendered a few people speechless today. Must’ve been one of those days.
“Where did you learn magic that powerful and…dark?” He winced as something leaped behind his hazel eyes. A flash of fear, maybe?
“Just around. See you in five.”
I shot to my feet and hustled toward Hell Here. The ice inside my veins trudged along like sludge about as fast as my boots through the snow. I passed Dimic’s Everlasting Ink on my way, and just as Ty had said, it was boarded up and abandoned. A boarded-up building was an invitation to come inside—that was just common knowledge, but Ty must’ve missed the memo. Had Dimic tattooed Kason before Kason lost his immediate memories and wound up in a house charmed and spelled with an unbreakable amount of magic? And most importantly, how was my dad involved in all of this?
But maybe even more important than that—why hadn’t Ty invited me to the place he was staying instead of Hell Here, where the Diamond Dogs might come sniffing? Was he hiding something?
It was too cold to think about for long. By the time I made it to the bar, I couldn’t feel my nose, toes, or anything in between.
Smiley, the same waitress as before with shiny red curls, widened her eyes when I burst through the door after someone else came out.
I tried to still my chattering teeth so I could get my drink order out. “N-nec—”
“—romancer’s Piss with a bowl of fennel seeds.” She smiled. “Corner booth. Got it.”
Well, then. I guessed I made an impression. Or she was just really good at her job. I shuffled past the dancing green fire in the middle of the bar toward the corner booth, the heat bringing feeling back in my body in needling throbs. I sat facing the door, noting there were fewer people in here than the other night. Low conversations drifted from nearby tables around the crackling fire. A couple sat nearby, their clasped hands on the table near a pair of ferry tickets, their locked gazes charging the air with a sizzling energy.
Something panged in my gut while watching them, an empty feeling that had once been filled. Love, I realized. That feeling that you were so important to someone that they would do anything for you just to see you smile. See you live.
I cleared my throat as Smiley clanked down a bottle and bowl in front of me. Then she slid two wrapped straws across the table. With a secret smile, she strode off. She must’ve seen me drinking with a straw the other night, though I had no idea why I needed two.
I sank back into the booth seat and concocted my wine piss just how I liked it. If Kason were here, he would probably trade the bottle for orange juice and a
crazy straw that he’d built for me. I wished I could stop thinking about him, his rough voice, the way his lips thinned when he plugged nails between them while working on his beautiful wood projects. He was tying my head up with silly thoughts and fantasies that he didn’t want to fulfill. Or maybe he did want them, but he didn’t want to want them. He about seared my skin off with that kiss. And his hands…
Ugh. My life made much more sense when it was just me and my friends wine, fennel seeds, and Nasty. And Ty.
By the time Ty arrived, my bottle was half empty.
“Hey,” he said as he sat across from me.
“Took you long enough.”
“Yeah. Sorry.” He shook his head as Smiley approached, and she backed off. “So, what’s up? Why’d you leave?”
I took a long draw from my straw and shrugged. “It was too claustrophobic.”
“Okay, you haven’t left your little ass house in two years.” He looked down his button nose at me, his fingers playing with the spilled fennel seeds. “Why did you leave, Hadley? You know how important this is.”
“He was asking too many questions.”
“About?” After my lengthy silence, he sighed and said, “About you. Maybe…maybe it wouldn’t hurt to tell him. Not everything…just… It might help to talk about it.”
“I haven’t even talked about it with you. Besides, I like suffering in silence. It builds character.”
He set one elbow on the table, eyeing me around the sides of his knuckles. “You have plenty of character already. Remember freshmen year? Principal Drew?”
I smiled around my straw. “He said I have a lack of character.”
Ty nodded. “And you said…?”
Legacy: Faction 11: The Isa Fae Collection Page 8