by Kimber White
No! I wanted to scream it. Don’t stop. Run!
She didn’t though. Her hands trembling, she’d lost her grip on the grocery bag. It nearly slid out of her arms. One of the patrolman shifters grabbed it before it hit the ground.
God! If she looked up at him. If her hair fell away, he’d see the scars. He’d know. I went to the front door. Fuck it.
“Thanks,” Lena said. Her eyes locked with mine, flaring with alarm and a silent command. She wanted me to stay put. My muscles contorted with my need to attack. This was never going to work.
Lena grabbed her shopping bag and put her head back down. They didn’t know. Somehow, they hadn’t seen. She gripped the bag in front of her and charged toward the front door. If she’d been a shifter herself, she probably could have knocked me down. Instead, she put a hand on my chest. Her touch seared through me as she shoved me back toward the car. To her, I knew it was like trying to push a granite slab. She couldn’t move me unless I damn well wanted it.
I did want it though. Through the red haze of bloodlust, Lena’s warm, hazel eyes met mine. She was calm somehow, even though I felt her jackhammering pulse where she touched me.
“Let’s go,” she whispered. “Hurry.”
I took the shopping bag from her. The patrolmen had their backs to us, still enthralled with Emma McGeady’s voice. Oh, they wanted her. I could almost hear their thoughts as they debated which of them might petition the Alpha for her. My stomach rolled with nausea. She wasn’t safe here either. I wanted to go to her, throw her in the back seat of the Jeep and get her the hell out of there right along with Lena.
“We can’t,” Lena said, as if she could read my damn mind. I supposed she didn’t have to. She could track my line of sight as I stared hard at Emma. “She knows what she’s doing. I’m betting she’s done this a hundred times before.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. My voice sounded far more animal than human. I’d argued about letting Lena drive. Now, there was no other choice. I could barely see straight. I climbed into the passenger seat and barely got the door shut before Lena slammed the car into reverse and backed out of the parking lot.
“Careful,” I said, worrying she’d squeal the tires in her haste and draw even more attention to us.
“I’m fine. I know what I’m doing too.” She had a hard edge to her voice as her panic gave way to anger. I took that as a sign of progress.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “Did they touch you?”
Lena shook her head and white-knuckled the steering wheel. “Not now. I don’t want to talk about it.”
God, I understood. She wasn’t a shifter, but Lena Morris definitely had her own inner beasts to quell. Fury coiled through me. She’d been badly hurt once upon a time. At that moment, I would have given anything to have been there to fight for her. The thought popped into my brain unbidden with a ferocity that startled me. I shook it off, chalking it up to the residual rage of being so close to members of the Pack. It was only natural that we were both keyed up.
My heart settled a bit as we hit the main highway once again. Tension brought Lena’s shoulders up to practically her ears. I knew how badly she wanted to floor the accelerator and put quick distance between us and Shadow Springs. She knew it was too dangerous though. If she hit a speed trap and drew the attention of more highway patrols, we were done for. The urge to put a hand on her back to try and calm her burned through me. Instead, I curled my fists and dug them into my thighs. We had roughly one hundred and forty miles to go. An eternity.
I settled into my seat, or tried to. After twenty minutes or so, Lena started to calm. Her shoulders dropped and the beads of sweat along her hairline went away. When the silence between us felt unbearable, I finally took the risk of talking to her.
“You did great back there,” I said.
She snapped her eyes to me. “You didn’t.”
“What?”
Gripping the wheel hard again, she blew a hair from her face. “I’m serious. What were you thinking? Were you just going shift right there in front of the rotisserie chicken and come to my rescue?”
I couldn’t stop the growl escaping from the center of my chest. “Maybe,” I said hotly. “Fuck yeah. You think I was going to stand by and let those fuckers put their hands on you?”
My words seemed even more animalistic than the growl. I knew it had to sound that way to Lena.
“Well,” she said, instantly flabbergasted. “There was no need. I had it under control.”
I wanted to say a thousand other things. I wanted to yell and slam my fist against the window. Instinct told me none of that would help the situation. Did she know what could have happened if those shifters made her? What they would do to her if they brought her back to the Alpha? The simple truth was, she did know. Lena knew the risk better than anyone. And yet, she’d faced it head on anyway.
“Like I said. You were good back there.”
“Look,” she said, turning slightly toward me but still keeping her eyes on the road. “We’ve got a really long road ahead of us. We damn near hit disaster in the first twenty minutes. I need to know you can keep your shit under control, Payne. What happened back there was pure luck. Another ten seconds and those two shifters would have picked up your scent. I mean...you opened the damn doors! You should have stayed in the car.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. I was just...reacting.”
“Right. So, maybe we need to work out a signal of our own or something. If I need you to Hulk out on me, I’ll let you know.”
“I’m sorry, Hulk out?”
“You know. Shift. We can keep it simple. Like, if you hear me screaming bloody murder, then you come in, fur and fangs blazing. But not before. Got it?”
I made a gruff noise as I swallowed another growl. “Lena, I know what…”
She put a hand up. “Don’t. No lectures. Not from you. If one more person tries to tell me they know what I went through…”
“How the hell do you know that’s what I was going to say?” Except it was exactly what I was going to say.
“Everyone in Mammoth Forest comes at me as if they think they’re going to step on a landmine. They mean well, but they don’t…” Instead of finishing her sentence, she let out a frustrated sigh. I knew exactly what she meant. They treated me the exact same way since Birch Haven. And it wasn’t as if I hadn’t given them cause.
“Got it,” I said. “Loud and clear. No landmines. And if you need me, you’ll scream.”
“Right,” she said, though this time, the corner of her mouth lifted and I think she was about to smile. It hit me like a lightning bolt dead center in the chest. I realized I’d never once seen this woman smile. Sure, I’d kept my distance in the months since she’d come to Mammoth Forest, but I’d never even heard her laugh.
An easier silence settled between us as we put distance between us and Shadow Springs. Lena even turned on the radio. She liked classic country-western and that suited me fine. She even hummed a little when a Patsy Cline song came on. It was hard to tell, but I guessed she might even have a nice singing voice if she grew comfortable around me enough to let loose. The instant I thought it, I knew I wanted her to. Badly.
My heart started to ease as we finally hit the rural exit that would take us to the edge of the Daniel Boone Forest.
“Got any bright ideas about where we should ditch the Jeep?” she asked, breaking our comfortable silence.
“There’s a rest stop up ahead,” I said.
“You sure that’s a good idea? Don’t we want to hide it?”
“No,” I answered. “It’s a busy rest stop. We’re just going to park it and walk behind the building into the woods beyond. My guess, it’ll take as much as a week before anyone realizes the car’s been abandoned. Plus, out in the open like that, it’ll be harder for them to figure out what way we went.”
“I wish we could set fire to it,” she said, making the turn. The rest stop itself was like a mini-mall with a gas station and food cou
rt. This was risky, sure, but I knew I was right about the greater benefit. The trick would be getting out of the car unseen and slipping into the woods behind it. It was still broad daylight, so we’d have to hide in plain sight.
“I know,” I said. “I’m worried about getting scented too. I still say this is our best shot. If they don’t come looking inside the car for a day or two, they won’t be able to track us. It’ll be okay.”
Lena pulled into a parking spot between two other cars. I was about to tell her to pick something even further away, but I realized she was right. This way, the Jeep would blend in even more. No one would think anything other than its occupants had gone in for lunch or to use the restrooms. I scanned the building and the light poles around us.
“I don’t see any security cameras,” I said. “That’s what I was most worried about.”
“Right,” she answered. She still had a tight grip on the steering wheel. She’d actually broken into a sweat again.
“Lena?” I leaned toward her. She went rigid. It dawned on me that we’d truly reached the point of no return. She’d been asked to leave everything and everyone she knew and trusted behind. No matter what happened next, there’d be no going back. I realized at that moment that Lena Morris might just be the bravest woman I’d ever known. I wanted to tell her it was going to be all right. In the drive here, I knew we’d maybe grown a very thin membrane of trust between us. Making her false promises now could rupture it for good.
“You ready?” I asked.
“I will be,” she said, breathless. “I just need a quick minute.”
I reached into the back seat and pulled her pack into my lap. Unzipping it, I stuffed the grocery bag from McGeady’s into it. The nine we’d packed was in a zippered side compartment. I took it out. “Will you feel better carrying this?” I asked.
Lena took the gun from me. Her fingers brushed mine and that little sizzle shot through me. I don’t know if she felt it too. Her eyes stayed fixed and focused. She slid the gun into her waistband and gave me a quick nod. It was time to go.
I slung the backpack over my shoulder. She took the keys with her and locked the doors. We had our first stroke of luck of the day. Nobody came out of the rest stop as we walked around the building. We had a clean shot straight to the woods. The urge to shift and run burned through me, but I kept my back straight and stayed at Lena’s side.
“How far?” she asked, her voice sounding small and trusting. It shattered a little of the ice around my heart.
“Can we do ten miles?” I asked. “We’ll make camp along the river just before the sun sets. Are you hungry?”
“I can eat and walk,” she said. “And I can walk a long way.”
Then, Lena did just that. We dove into the woods together. I let her lead the way. At this pace, we’d reach our planned campsite in just under three hours. We had to go slow and take a zig-zag path, recrossing the same stream over and over again to mask any trail we left. Lena was game for all of it.
Finally, we reached a clearing on the southern tip of the forest. The river ran narrow here and the pine trees formed a natural wall around us. It was perfect. I peeled the pack off my back and pitched the tent. It was big enough for the both of us, but I saw Lena’s eyes widen, and her breath caught. Smiling, I unzipped the front and made a grand gesture.
“For you,” I said. “Get some sleep. Long day tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll keep watch.”
She didn’t smile, but she smirked. I took that as progress. “You’re a wolf,” she said. “And, I’ve heard that before.”
With that, she brushed past me and went into the tent.
Six
Lena
I meant to stay awake. How could I not? Everyone told me I could trust Payne, and I wanted to. Everything just felt so new, so unsettled. And, he almost got me killed or recaptured. Given a choice, I knew in my heart I would have wanted the former.
I sat with my knees drawn up in the center of the tent. An owl hooted overhead and a chorus of spring peepers bleated all around. I could see Payne’s shadow against the thin fabric of the tent. He’d taken a position near the riverbank with the moon at his back. He didn’t pace; he didn’t stalk. He didn’t need to. If anything dangerous got within a few hundred yards of us, he’d be able to sense it in a heartbeat. Instead, he sat facing the tent scanning the tree line. I crawled forward and lay on my belly. From there, I could watch him through a tiny flap in the tent.
He was huge. Of course, I knew this. But, I’d never actually looked at him like this. In a weird way, it felt like stealing. I could study him without fear of him realizing it. He rose and stood with his feet planted firmly apart, his hands on his hips. To a casual observer, you could almost mistake him for a statue. There was nothing casual about my observation, though.
Payne had legs thick as tree trunks. His weathered jeans strained tightly against his muscled thighs. On the left leg, the fabric had worn through just above the knee, revealing a hint of his toned quad beneath. He stood barefoot, digging his long toes into the soft earth. I knew why he did it. Mac often did the same thing. He could feel tiny vibrations on the ground, imperceptible to me. If something moved around him, he’d know it.
Payne reached his right arm over his left shoulder and scratched his back. He turned slightly, stretching, flexing his hips. I wondered if the urge to shift rolled through him. With the moon behind him reflected in the water, I would bet on it. Payne seemed unsettled. He ran his hands through his hair. He wore it longer than Mac or the other shifters did. The ends scraped the top of his shoulders in shimmering red-gold waves. Light curls in the same shade covered his forearms, though his chest was bare except for his striking tattoo. A giant black wolf’s head with unfurled wings behind it and crossed swords below. It symbolized their flight, rebellion, and oath to each other.
All of the shifters of Mammoth Forest had them. Tears sprang instantly to my eyes the first time I’d seen Mac’s. The ink marked their commitment to each other and was an open declaration of war to the Alpha. Mac’s friend Gunnar had been captured and tortured for months because of it. It’s a wonder he made it out alive.
Payne turned again, fixing his hard stare at the tent. I didn’t think he could see me, but tingling heat ran down my spine as his eyes went from their normal green to that almost neon shade as his wolf bubbled to the surface. My breath caught as he turned toward the water. Sliding his hands under his waistband, he pulled his jeans down.
I gasped and covered my mouth as Payne stood naked before me. He was beautiful. He seemed carved in one solid, perfect piece of marble from his strong, broad back, to his tapered hips and chiseled buttocks. He bent at the knee then squatted low. The air went out of me in a whoosh as I felt the flow of his magic.
Payne shifted.
It was seamless. Stunning. Perfect. I’d never seen his wolf before. He was huge with red fur and shimmering gold highlights across his shoulders and the end of his tail. He pawed the ground and loped along the riverbank. I could feel his need to bay at the moon, but he kept silent. It was too dangerous.
I wanted to go to him. The urge to run my hands along his powerful back and sink my fingers into his soft fur compelled me. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. Instead, I was frozen, transfixed by him. Payne Fallon was quite possibly the largest, most stunning wolf I’d ever seen.
Then, those familiar tendrils of icy panic wound their way through my heart. He wasn’t Pack. In my head, I knew this. And yet, those old wounds flared inside of me. Payne was a wolf. He was dangerous. I had to keep my distance.
The wind changed and Payne caught the scent of something. He chuffed and pawed the ground again. He put his body between the tent and the woods. Whatever it was, he clearly didn’t sense danger, but wanted to be ready. If it was possible to feel both fear and calm at the same time, I did. It was as if two parts of myself warred with each other. There was the woman I was before Birch Haven...a shifter’s sister...and the one I was now.
I brought my h
and to the back of my neck and traced the jagged outline of the scar I bore there. The scar I would have to live with for the rest of my life. It was cold now, dormant. The shifter who’d forced it on me was dead. I squeezed my eyes shut against the memory. As if conjuring it would somehow bring that link to him back to life and somehow him as well.
I wanted to hate him. I did. Truly. But, he was also part of me in ways I still hadn’t allowed myself to accept.
Another chuff from Payne snapped me away from the past. He’d come closer. Still in his wolf, he sat a few yards from the tent watching the woods. No living thing would dare to venture close to him. They knew what he was without even seeing him. Formidable. Graceful. Deadly. An Alpha. A shiver ran through me as that yearning to thread my fingers through his soft fur came back. I pushed past it just like I had the memories of my marking.
Payne’s green eyes flashed as he looked straight at me through the flap in the tent. Pink bands lined the horizon. We’d gone a full night together, separated, but awake together. I knew I should be exhausted, but I wasn’t. I was too keyed up from the day before and whatever lay ahead.
Payne rose. Tail high, he went back to the water’s edge where he’d shed his jeans. The hair on the back of my neck rose as the air crackled with the energy of his shift. He was human again. The muscles of his back rippled as he leaned down and pulled on his pants. I pulled on my hiking boots and unzipped the tent flap to join him. We’d need an early start if we wanted to make good time today. From here on out, we’d be on foot.
“You should have slept,” Payne said as I came to his side. It was in me to argue with him. How did he know whether I slept or not? The answer churned through me, stirring up an unfamiliar heat.
“So should you,” I said.
Payne turned to me. He arched one ruddy brow and a hint of a smile played at the corner of his full mouth. I wanted to trust him. I did. And yet, old ghosts held me back.
“I’ll rest a little when we get some miles under our belt. That was too close a call back in Shadow Springs.”