"Be wonderful!" The convertible cut left on an odd-numbered street.
"Play hooky, you said. What do you do?"
"Advertising."
"Advertising!" Dolly wanted to kick herself for ever having doubted, for ever having thought in low, self-loathing moments that it wouldn't work out, that she'd marry a grocer or a mechanic and live forever after in a smelly tenement and grow old and sick and stooped. She felt vaguely in her happy daze that it might have been cuter, she might have accidentally pushed him into a pond or something, but this was cute enough. An advertising man, leopard-skin seat covers …what more could a girl with a sexy smile and a nice little figure want?
Speeding down the South Shore she learned that his name was Michael Brent, exactly as it ought to be. She wished she could tell him she was Jennifer Brown or one of those real cute names they had nowadays, but was reassured when he told her he thought Dolly Gonzalez was a beautiful name. He didn't, and she noticed the omission, add: "It's the most beautiful name I ever heard!" That, she comfortably thought as she settled herself against the cushions, would come later.
They stopped at Medford for lunch, a wonderful lunch in a little restaurant where you went down some steps and there were candles on the table. She called him "Michael" and he called her "Dolly." She learned that he liked dark girls and thought the stories in True Story really were true, and that he thought she was just tall enough, and that Greer Garson was wonderful, but not the way she was, and that he thought her dress was just wonderful.
They drove slowly after Medford, and Michael Brent did most of the talking. He had traveled all over the world. He had been in the war and wounded—just a flesh wound. He was thirty-eight, and had been married once, but she died. There were no children. He was alone in the world. He had nobody to share his town house in the 50's, his country place in Westchester, his lodge in the Maine woods. Every word sent the girl floating higher and higher on a tide of happiness; the signs were unmistakable.
When they reached Montauk Point, the last sandy bit of the continent before blue water and Europe, it was sunset, with a great wrinkled sheet of purple and rose stretching half across the sky and the first stars appearing above the dark horizon of the water.
The two of them walked from the parked car out onto the sand, alone, bathed in glorious Technicolor. Her heart was nearly bursting with joy as she heard Michael Brent say, his arms tightening around her:
"Darling, will you marry me?"
"Oh, yes, Michael!" she breathed, dying. .
The Mindworm, drowsing, suddenly felt the sharp sting of danger. He cast out through the great city, dragging tentacles of thought:
"…die if she don't let me …"
"…six an' six is twelve an' carry one an' three is four …"
"…gobblegobble madre de dios pero soy gobblegobble …"
"…parlay Domino an' Missab and shoot the roll on Duchess Peg in the feature …"
"…melt resin add the silver chloride and dissolve in oil of lavender stand and decant and fire to cone zero twelve give you shimmering streaks of luster down the walls …"
"…moiderin' square-headed gobblegobble tried ta poke his eye out wassamatta witta ref…"
"…O God I am most heartily sorry I have offended thee in …"
"…talk like a commie…"
"…gobblegobblegobble two dolla twenny-fi' sense gobble …"
"…just a nip and fill it up with water and brush my teeth …"
"…really know I'm God but fear to confess their sins …"
"…dirty lousy rock-headed claw-handed paddle-footed goggle-eyed snot-nosed hunch-backed feeble-minded pot-bellied son of …"
"…write on the wall alfie is a stunkur and then …"
"…thinks I believe it's a television set but I know he's got a bomb hi there but who can I tell who can help so alone…"
"…gabble was ich weiss nicht gabble geh bei Broadvay gabble …"
"…habt mein daughter Rosie such a fella gobblegobble …"
"…wonder if that's one didn't look back…"
"…seen with her in the Medford restaurant…"
The Mindworm struck into that thought.
"…not a mark on her but the M. E.'s have been wrong before and heart failure don't mean a thing anyway try to talk to her old lady authorize an autopsy get Pancho—little guy talks Spanish be best …"
The Mindworm knew he would have to be moving again—soon. He was sorry; some of the thoughts he had tapped indicated good …hunting?
Regretfully, he again dragged his net:
"…with chartreuse drinks I mean drapes could use a drink come to think of it…"
"…reep-beep-reep-beep reepiddy-beepiddy-beep bop man wadda beat…"
" JS,(pfo,, *,)-£»(*„ aj, What the Hell was that?"
The Mindworm withdrew, in frantic haste. The intelligence was massive, its overtones those of a vigorous adult. He had learned from certain dangerous children that there was peril of a leveling flow.
Shaken and scared, he contemplated traveling. He would need more than that wretched girl had supplied, and it would not be epicurean.
There would be no time to find individuals at a ripe emotional crisis, or goad them to one. It would be plain—munching. The Mindworm drank a glass of water, also necessary to his metabolism.
EIGHT FOUND DEAD IN UPTOWN MOVIE; "MOLESTER" SOUGHT
Eight persons, including three women, were found dead Wednesday night of unknown causes in widely separated seats in the balcony of the Odeon Theater at 117th St. and Broadway. Police are seeking a man described by the balcony usher, Michael Fenelly, 18, as "acting like a woman-molester."
Fenelly discovered the first of the fatalities after seeing the man
"moving from one empty seat to another several times." He went to ask a woman hi a seat next to one the man had just vacated whether he had annoyed her. She was dead.
Almost at once, a scream rang out. In another part of the balcony Mrs.
Sadie Rabinowitz, 40, uttered the cry when another victim toppled from his seat next to her.
Theater manager I. J. Marcusohn stopped the show and turned on the house lights. He tried to instruct his staff to keep the audience from leaving before the police arrived. He failed to get word to them in time, however, and most of the audience was gone when a detail from the 24th Pet. and an ambulance from Harlem hospital took over at the scene of the tragedy.
The Medical Examiner's office has not yet made a report as to the causes of death. A spokesman said the victims showed no signs of poisoning or violence. He added that it "was inconceivable that it could be a coincidence."
Lt. John Braidwood of the 24th Pet. said of the alleged molester: "We got a fair description of him and naturally we will try to bring him in for questioning."
Clickety-click, clickety-dick, dickety-click sang the rails as the Mindworm drowsed in his coach seat.
Some people were walking forward from the diner. One was thinking:
"Different-looking fellow, (a) he's aberrant, (b) he's non-aberrant and ill. Cancel (b)—respiration normal, skin smooth and healthy, no tremor of limbs, well-groomed. Is aberrant (1) trivially. (2) significantly. Cancel (1)—displayed no involuntary interest when …odd! Running for the washroom! Unexpected because (a) neat grooming indicates amour propre inconsistent with amusing others; (b) evident health inconsistent with …" It had taken one second, was fully detailed.
The Mindworm, locked in the toilet of the coach, wondered what the next stop was. He was getting off at it—not frightened, just careful.
Dodge them, keep dodging them and everything would be all right.
Send out no mental taps until the train was far away and everything would be all right.
He got off at a West Virginia coal and iron town surrounded by ruined mountains and filled with the offscourings of Eastern Europe. Serbs, Albanians, Croats, Hungarians, Slovenes, Bulgarians, and all possible combinations and permutations thereof. He walked slowly from the smoke-
stained, brownstone passenger station. The train had roared on its way.
"…ain' no gemmum that's fo sho', fi-cen' tip fo' a good shine lak ah give um …"
"…dumb bassar don't know how to make out a billa lading yet he ain't never gonna know so fire him get it over with…"
"…gabblegabblegabble …" Not a word he recognized in it.
"…gobblegobble dat tarn vooman I brek she nack…"
"…gobble trink visky chin glassabeer gobblegobblegobble …"
"…gabblegabblegabble…"
"…makes me so gobblegobble mad little no-good tramp no she ain'
but I don' like no standup from no dame …"
A blond, square-headed boy fuming under a street light.
"…out wit' Casey Oswiak I could kill that dumb bohunk alia time trine ta paw her…"
It was a possibility. The Mindworm drew near.
"…stand me up for that gobblegobble bohunk I oughtta slap her inna mush like my ole man says …"
"Hello," said the Mindworm.
"Waddaya wan'?"
"Casey Oswiak told me to tell you not to wait up for your girl. He's taking her out tonight."
The blond boy's rage boiled into his face and shot from his eyes. He was about to swing when the Mindworm began to feed. It was like pheasant after chicken, venison after beef. The coarseness of the environment, or the ancient strain? The Mindworm wondered as he strolled down the street. A girl passed him:
"…oh but he's gonna be mad like last time wish I came right away so jealous kinda nice but he might bust me one some day be nice to him tonight there he is lam'post leaning on it looks kinda funny gawd I hope he ain't drunk looks kinda funny sleeping sick or bozhe moi gabblegabblegabble …"
Her thoughts trailed into a foreign language of which the Mind-worm knew not a word. After hysteria had gone she recalled, in the foreign language, that she had passed him.
The Mindworm, stimulated by the unfamiliar quality of the last feeding, determined to stay for some days. He checked in at a Main Street hotel.
Musing, he dragged his net:
"…gobblegobblewhompyeargobblecheskygobblegabblechyesh …"
"…take him down cellar beat the can off the damn chesky thief put the fear of god into him teach him can't bust into no boxcars in mah parta the caounty…"
"…gabblegabble…"
"…phone ole Mister Ryan in She-cawgo and he'll tell them three-card monte grifters who got the horse-room rights in this necka the woods by damn don't pay protection money for no protection …"
The Mindworm followed that one further; it sounded as though it could lead to some money if he wanted to stay in the town long enough.
The Eastern Europeans of the town, he mistakenly thought, were like the tramps and bums he had known and fed on during his years on the road—stupid and safe, safe and stupid, quite the same thing.
In the morning he found no mention of the square-headed boy's death in the town's paper and thought it had gone practically unnoticed. It had—by the paper, which was of, by, and for the coal and iron company and its native-American bosses and straw bosses. The other town, the one without a charter or police force, with only an imported weekly newspaper or two from the nearest city, noticed it. The other town had roots more than two thousand years deep, which are hard to pull up.
But the Mindworm didn't know it was there.
He fed again that night, on a giddy young streetwalker in her room. He had astounded and delighted her with a fistful of ten-dollar bills before he began to gorge. Again the delightful difference from city-bred folk was there….
Again in the morning he had been unnoticed, he thought. The chartered town, unwilling to admit that there were streetwalkers or that they were found dead, wiped the slate clean; its only member who really cared was the native-American cop on the beat who had collected weekly from the dead girl.
The other town, unknown to the Mindworm, buzzed with it. A delegation went to the other town's only public officer. Unfortunately he was young, American-trained, perhaps even ignorant about some important things. For what he told them was: "My children, that is foolish superstition. Go home."
The Mindworm, through the day, roiled the surface of the town proper by allowing himself to be roped into a poker game in a parlor of the hotel. He wasn't good at it, he didn't like it, and he quit with relief when he had cleaned six shifty-eyed, hard-drinking loafers out of about three hundred dollars. One of them went straight to the police station and accused the unknown of being a sharper. A humorous sergeant, the Mindworm was pleased to note, joshed the loafer out of his temper.
Nightfall again, hunger again …
He walked the streets of the town and found them empty. It was strange. The native-American citizens were out, tending bar, walking their beats, locking up their newspaper on the stones, collecting their rents, managing their movies—but where were the others? He cast his net:
"…gobblegobblegobble whomp year gobble …"
"…crazy old pollack mama of mine try to lock me in with Errol Flynn at the Majestic never know the difference if I sneak out the back .
. ."
That was near. He crossed the street and it was nearer. He homed on the thought:
"…jeez he's a hunka man like Stanley but he never looks at me that Vera Kowalik I'd like to kick her just once in the gobblegobble-gobble crazy old mama won't be American so ashamed…"
It was half a block, no more, down a side street. Brick houses, two stories, with back yards on an alley. She was going out the back way.
How strangely quiet it was in the alley.
"…easy down them steps fix that damn board that's how she caught me last time what the hell are they all so scared of went to see Father Drugas won't talk bet somebody got it again that Vera Kowalik and her big…"
"…gobble bozhe gobble whomp year gobble…"
She was closer; she was closer.
"All think I'm a kid show them who's a kid bet if Stanley caught me all alone out here in the alley dark and all he wouldn't think I was a kid that damn Vera Kowalik her folks don't think she's a kid …"
For all her bravado she was stark terrified when he said: "Hello."
"Who—who—who—?" she stammered.
Quick, before she screamed. Her terror was delightful.
Not too replete to be alert, he cast about, questing.
"…gobblegobblegobble whomp year."
The countless eyes of the other town, with more than two thousand years of experience in such things, had been following him. What he had sensed as a meaningless hash of noise was actually an impassioned outburst in a nearby darkened house.
"Fools! fools! Now he has taken a virgin! I said not to wait. What will we say to her mother?"
An old man with handlebar mustache and, in spite of the heat, his shirt sleeves decently rolled down and buttoned at the cuffs, evenly replied:
"My heart in me died with hers, Casimir, but one must be sure. It would be a terrible thing to make a mistake in such an affair."
The weight of conservative elder opinion was with him. Other old men with mustaches, some perhaps remembering mistakes long ago, nodded and said: "A terrible thing. A terrible thing."
The Mindworm strolled back to his hotel and napped on the made bed briefly. A tingle of danger awakened him. Instantly he cast out:
"…gobblegobble whompyear."
"…whampyir."
"WAMPYIR!"
Close! Close and deadly!
The door of his room burst open, and mustached old men with their shirt sleeves rolled down and decently buttoned at the cuffs unhesitatingly marched in, their thoughts a turmoil of alien noises, foreign gibberish that he could not wrap his mind around, disconcerting, from every direction.
The sharpened stake was through his heart and the scythe blade through his throat before he could realize that he had not been the first of his kind; and that what clever people have not yet learned, some quite ordinary people have not yet entirely f
orgotten.
THE EDUCATION OF TIGRESS MCCARDLE
[Venture, July 1957]
WITH THE UNANIMITY THAT HAD ALWAYS CHARACTERIZED his fans, as soon as they were able to vote they swept him into office as President of the United States. Four years later the 28th Amendment was ratified, republican institutions yielded gracefully to the usages of monarchy, and King Purvis I reigned in the land.
Perhaps even then all would have gone well if it had not been for another major entertainment personage, the insidious Dr. Fu Manchu, that veritable personification of the Yellow Peril, squatting like some great evil spider in the center of his web of intrigue. The insidious doctor appeared to have so much fun on his television series, what with a lovely concubine to paw him and a dwarf to throw knives, that it quite turned the head of Gerald Wang, a hitherto-peaceable antique dealer of San Francisco. Gerald decided that he too would become a veritable personification of the Yellow Peril, and that he too would squat like some great evil spider in the center of a web of intrigue, and that he would really accomplish something. He found it remarkably easy since nobody believed in the Yellow Peril any more. He grew a mandarin mustache, took to uttering cryptic quotations from the sages; and was generally addressed as "doctor" by the members of his organization, though he made no attempt to practice medicine. His wife drew the line at the concubine, but Gerald had enough to keep him busy with his pereonifying and squatting.
His great coup occurred in 1986 when after patient years of squatting and plotting, one of his most insidious ideas reached the attention of His Majesty via a recommendation ridered onto the annual population-resources report. The recommendation was implemented as the Parental Qualifications Program, or P.Q.P., by royal edict. "Ow rackon thet'll make um mahnd they P's and Q's," quipped His Majesty, and everybody laughed heartily—but none more heartily than the insidious Dr. Wang, who was present in disguise as Tuner of the Royal Git-tar.
A typical PQP operation (at least when judged typical by the professor of Chronoscope History Seminar 201 given by Columbia University in 2756 a.d., who ought to know) involved George McCardle …
George McCardle had a good deal with his girl friend, Tigress Moone.
His Share of Glory The Complete Short Science Fiction Page 12