by L A Cotton
I peeked over at Joel and he winked. I let out an internal groan. He wasn’t going to give up, it was right there in his eyes. He was going to fight me on this.
Fight for me.
It was the last thing I needed, but I couldn’t deny it felt nice.
It felt nice to not be Callum James’ little sister. Because when I was, everything would change. And I knew he’d probably never look twice at me if he knew just how deep my secrets ran.
“Okay, what’s going on here?” Josie wagged her finger between me and her brother as she reached us.
“Turns out, we have the same class.”
“You do, huh?” She smirked. “What a coincidence.”
“I was telling Calli that she should let me take her out... so we can… uh, discuss the class reading. But she’s a little hesitant.”
Josie caught my eye, and I shook my head discreetly.
“Maybe you can persuade her over lunch,” he added.
“You’re not joining us?” she asked him. “We’re heading to Muds.”
“I’m meeting the guys at the gym. But I’ll see you around. Bye, Calli.” Joel flashed me a blinding smile.
“Bye, Joel.” I couldn’t help but smile back.
“Okay, spill.” Josie laced her arm through mine the second he was gone.
“There’s nothing to spill. Joel showed up in my class, we sat together, he tried to talk me into going out with him.”
“And you told him about Callum, right?”
I grimaced.
“Calli! It was the perfect opportunity.”
“I know, but I don’t want things to be weird. And if I tell him about Callum, he’ll realize I know Zach.”
“But it’s going to come out eventually.”
“I know.” The knot in my stomach tightened. “Callum obviously doesn’t want them to know I’m here or he would have told them.”
God, it wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.
I was used to being no one to my brother, so I hadn’t given much thought to what would happen when I got here. I knew it wouldn’t miraculously heal things between us, but I hadn’t anticipated that his team, his friends, wouldn’t know about me.
That was just... cruel.
“I’ll tell him,” I said. “Soon, I promise.”
“Good, because the whole thing is weird.”
“I’m glad you find my life weird.” My eyes rolled as we entered Muds. It was busy, but Josie managed to grab us a table.
“You sit, I’ll order. They do these amazing spicy chicken paninis.”
“Sounds good. Can I get an iced latte too, please?” I went to grab my purse, but she stopped me.
“I’ll get this. You can pay tomorrow.”
“Okay.” I smiled.
Meeting Josie had been a blessing in disguise. I knew her being close to the team was an added complication, but in a strange way, it was like coming full circle.
In high school, Madison had dated a basketball player. And now my only friend at SU was the sister of one. It was like no matter how much I tried to escape the damn thing, the universe seemed insistent on weaving my life inexplicably with basketball.
Repeatedly, I tried to tell myself it didn’t mean anything, but I was starting to wonder if maybe it did.
Josie joined the line and I watched students come and go. I felt more at home here, among the bookish treasures, than I had anywhere else in a long time.
The doorbell jangled, and I noticed the girl with red hair enter. I’d seen her here before with Zach. She was tall and willowy with a perfect complexion and silky auburn waves. She was everything I wasn’t. Feminine. Graceful... Beautiful.
My heart galloped in my chest, wondering if Zach was joining her. But he didn’t. Instead, she joined two friends, other girls with their perfect hair and perfect smiles and perfect manicures.
“I see you met the girlfriends.” Josie sat down, sliding a tray onto the table.
“The who now?”
“The girlfriends. That’s Victoria Penderton. Declan’s girlfriend.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Don’t be fooled.” She snorted. “She’s a class-A bitch.”
“Josie,” I whisper-hissed, discreetly glancing over at them again.
“What? It’s true. She’s been chomping at the bit to be Queen Bee. But it was always Lo Stone and her crew.”
I frowned, and Josie let out an exasperated breath. “Sometimes I forget you know nothing. Lo Stone, Maverick Prince’s girlfriend.”
“Oh yeah.” I nodded as if I knew what she was talking about. I mean, I’d heard his name; he was big news around Steinbeck and the surrounding towns. But I didn’t know him.
Maybe if I’d ever been invited to SU to support my brother, to watch his games, and celebrate his wins, I would have known.
But I wasn’t… therefore, I didn’t.
“Lo was awesome, super down to earth and cool. She wasn’t into all that bullshit.” She flicked her head toward Victoria. “They’re all about status and power and who has the most expensive handbag.”
“She’s still with Declan?”
“I mean... I guess. I heard Joel talking to some of the guys over the summer and they said she’s clutching.”
“Clutching?”
“Yeah, to the dream of being with a pro.”
“I saw her,” I admitted. “With Zach.”
“Yeah.” Her expression hardened. “They have this weird friendship. Some of the guys are a little icked out about it.”
“Do you think they’re...” I couldn’t say it.
I couldn’t imagine Zach with another girl, let alone one who looked like Victoria.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. But they do hang out a lot.”
My eyes wandered over to them again. Victoria held court, telling a story with big over-exaggerated hand movements. It matched her expression; wide eyed and animated.
I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be her, to know your boyfriend, the guy you wanted to spend your life with, might never wake up.
Since learning about Declan’s accident, I’d searched the internet for more details. It was morbid, I knew that, but I still couldn’t believe something so huge had happened in Zach’s life, my brother’s life, and I didn’t know.
I’d only found a couple of reports. He and Victoria had been celebrating their anniversary at Long Beach. Declan took a jet ski out on the ocean and hit a buoy, flipped and came off. She watched the entire thing happen from the shore.
A shudder ran through me as I remembered the eyewitness account. It was a freak accident. One that changed two lives forever.
“Calli?” Josie snapped her fingers in front of my face, and I blinked.
“Huh?”
“Where’d you go just now?”
“Nowhere.” I gave her a weak smile.
“So you and my brother—”
“Are not up for discussion right now. You’re right, I need to tell him first.”
Which I would do just as soon as I could find the words.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to fess up. But Callum and I weren’t exactly brother and sister of the year. Joel would have questions, and then, when he knew the truth, he would walk away from me, like everyone else in my life.
“Joel is a good guy, Calli,” Josie said as if she had a direct line to my thoughts. “You can trust him with this.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Just then, Victoria and her friends got up and made their way toward the door. She paused at our table though, looming over us like the lady of the house. “Josie, I didn’t realize you were a freshman this year.”
“Victoria,” my friend’s tone was cool, “you’re looking good.”
“Keto. I lost like ten pounds over the summer.”
“That’s... great.” Josie forced a smile. I could tell because it made her eyes all crinkled.
“And who is your new friend?” Victoria glanced at me.
“He
y, I’m Calli.”
“Calli, you say?” Her eyes narrowed. “You seem so familiar. Have we met before?” She flicked her wavy red hair off her shoulder, like she was in one of those sexy shampoo ads.
My hands twisted in my lap. “I don’t think so.” Sweat beaded between my breasts as I silently prayed she didn’t ask me where I was from. Because I couldn’t lie.
Omitting the truth was one thing, but to lie... that was another entirely.
“Your friends are waiting.” Josie broke the thick tension that had descended over us.
“Well, see you around, girls.” The word ‘girls’ rolled off her tongue, half-pleasant and half-insult, as if we were somehow beneath her.
Although looking at her designer handbag and shoes, I realized we probably were.
The second she left, the air became breathable again.
“She’s really... something.”
“You don’t think Zach told her about you, do you?”
“No,” I gasped. “Why the hell would he do that?”
“I don’t know. There was something strange about the way she was watching you. There’s definitely no way she can know who you are?”
“I don’t see how she could.” I shrugged, a strange sensation trickling down my spine. “Why?”
“Just be careful with her.”
“Come on.” I laughed but it came out strangled. “She’s just a girl.” A girl who seemed to be too put together to be grieving for her injured boyfriend, but who was I to judge? I knew firsthand everyone dealt with grief differently.
Some people turned to drugs or alcohol or warm willing bodies to numb the pain. While some people threw themselves into a project. Then there were people like me who fell out of love with the things they’d once loved and found solace in new things. Or there were people like Victoria. People who plastered on their flawless makeup and perfect smile like armor and got on with it.
No approach was the right or wrong way. Not where the heart was concerned. You could only do your best.
“All I’m saying is, watch your back. Victoria Penderton is a viper.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, I’m no one.” But as I said the words, a feeling of dread crept over me.
Because the truth was, I wasn’t no one. I was Callum James’ estranged sister. And I was Zachary Messiah’s dirty little secret. I had ties to two of SU’s star players.
And Josie was right…
That was a problem.
Zach
“Zach, good to see you, son.” Coach Baxter motioned to the chair opposite his desk. “Take a seat.”
“Thanks, Coach.” I ran a hand through my damp hair.
“How is it being back?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“You can be honest. It’s as weird as hell, am I right?”
He wasn’t wrong. But I didn’t want to admit that. Admitting it made it real and making it real made it something I had to deal with.
I preferred to bury my head in the sand.
“I’m ready for the season, sir,” I said.
“I don’t doubt it, Zach. You’re in great shape. I hear you’re pushing yourself in conditioning. Don’t go too hard, we don’t want any injuries before we get to see you in action on the court.”
“You got it, Coach.”
“How are things at home? With your parents and Declan?” He swallowed hard.
“They can’t let go,” I said, feeling my muscles tense.
“He’s a fighter. If anyone can pull through, it’s Declan.”
What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?
He wasn’t going to pull through, and even if he did, he was paralyzed from the chest down. His life as he knew it was over.
“You know, son, this team has had some real bad luck over the eighteen months. First, Maverick had his accident, and then Declan. It’s about time we broke that cycle.”
“Yes, sir.” I’d become robotic, unable to provide anything except generic answers.
“We’re counting on you to help us get the job done, Zach.”
I let out a strained breath. It really didn’t matter to these people that Declan, my brother, was lying in a private facility being kept alive by a bunch of machines and doctors. I was only here to honor his legacy, to finish the job he started.
It was total bullshit.
My fingers curled around the arm of the chair, tight enough to turn white. “I’ll try my best, sir,” I gritted out, because this was my life.
Whether I wanted it or not.
“Now, your father called the other day. They want us to consider an exhibition game.”
“He isn’t dead,” I snapped.
“No, he isn’t. But they want to raise awareness and donate proceeds to the facility. I’ve begun reaching out to some alumni players. I just wanted to give you a heads up.”
“When?”
“The weekend before official practice season.”
That was in a little under a month.
Fuck.
“I know it’s a lot. But you’ve got this, son. You’re going to make everyone proud this season.” He tapped his desk as if it was a done deal, and I knew it was.
My parents wanted an exhibition game... they’d get an exhibition game. Because Timothy Messiah wasn’t a man you told no. Besides, his check book was big enough to make sure the answer was always yes.
“Is that all, Coach?” My voice was tight as I fought hard to maintain control. I couldn’t snap, not here.
“Yeah, get out of here, and remember what I said, don’t push too hard in the gym.” His eyes held some deeper meaning, as if he knew why I did it. As if he knew exactly why I pushed my body to its physical limit.
I got the hell out of there and went to class.
At least there, no one would try to talk to me. No one would ask questions or tell me they were looking to me to take the team all the way.
I was at SU to play basketball, to be an athlete, but the court wasn’t supposed to offer me any solace.
It was supposed to be my own personal version of hell.
Only, it wasn’t.
And I hated it.
I managed to avoid Calli all week. Between classes, conditioning, and practice, it didn’t leave much downtime.
It was Thursday, and I was leaving third period when I finally saw her. She wasn’t alone though. Calli and Joel were walking down the path, huddled close, like two old friends sharing a joke. Her laughter was like a punch to the gut. It drifted over to me, coiling around my heart like barbed wire. Sharp… jagged… deadly.
She looked happy, grinning up at Joel like he hung the fucking moon.
My teammate.
My friend.
Anger exploded in my veins. She wasn’t supposed to be latching onto the team and making them her own. The team was mine, whether I wanted it or not. The team was my territory.
Before I knew what I was doing, I’d cut across the street to them.
“Zach, my man.” Joel noticed me first, holding out his fist. I bumped it, giving him a curt nod.
“Calli,” I clipped out.
“You two know each other?” Joel frowned, glancing from me to her and back again. I waited, testing the waters. It was the perfect opportunity for her to fess up.
“I...” She hesitated and I knew then that she still hadn’t told him.
Running a hand over my jaw, I flashed him a wolfish grin. “We met the other week at the party. Isn’t that right, Calliope?” I let her name roll off my tongue with suggestion.
I was being a dick. But seeing them together, seeing her with anyone, brought out my monster.
Her eyes flared with indignation and my lips formed a slight smirk.
“The party?” Joel asked coolly.
“Yeah, she fell right into my arms,” I said. “You should really watch your girl, J. It was a good thing I was there to catch her.”
“Oh, it’s not like... we’re friends.” Confusion clouded his eyes, but I was only intere
sted in Calli. Her body went rigid, and I didn’t miss her sharp intake of breath.
That’s right, sweet pea. It was my arms who carried you home that night.
Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. “And that’s why I’ll never be going to a party again.” Strangled laughter spilled from her pouty lips. Joel laughed too, but it was strained. They were both squirming while I stood there, like the asshole I was, reveling in the tension that had suddenly descended over the three of us.
“Next time, I’ll look out for you.” Joel winked at her. The fucker actually winked.
My nostrils flared as I tried to rein myself in. Any other girl. He could have latched onto any other girl on campus... but no, he had to pick the one girl who had the power to make me crazy. The smart thing was to walk away. But I’d never claimed to be any such thing. I was a sucker for pain. A self-saboteur. It had happened last Halloween, and it was happening again.
And it was all because of a girl who had betrayed me.
Before I could stop myself, I said, “We should all hang out.”
“We should?” Joel balked.
“Yeah, me, you, Calli, Victoria. She’s struggling with things. It might be nice for her to make a new friend.”
Calli’s eyes were narrowed now, glaring at me as if she was trying to figure out my angle. I didn’t have one except trying to get under her skin, the way she’d buried herself under mine.
“Uh, I guess. But isn’t that a bit too... double date?” Joel’s eyes flicked to Calli, and another flash of anger shot through me.
He was looking at her with longing in his eyes.
He wanted her.
He fucking wanted her.
Only because he doesn’t know the truth.
“Nah, it’s just a bunch of friends hanging out,” I said. “But no pressure.”
We both looked at Calli and she seemed to shrink under our attention. “I—”
The blare of Joel’s phone cut through the tension. He dug it out of his pocket and said, “I need to take this. Raincheck on lunch?”
“Sure.” Relief washed over Calli.
“I’ll catch you at the gym later?” he said to me, and I nodded.
Joel hurried away, arguing with someone on his phone.
“What the hell are you doing?” Calli said the second the coast was clear.