by Louis Sachar
“No, that’s okay,” said Marvin.
“Take it,” said Clarence.
Marvin took it.
“Thanks,” said Clarence.
“You’re welcome,” said Marvin.
Clarence walked away. Nick and Stuart cracked up.
Casey Happleton and Judy Jasper came out the door.
“Good-bye, Prince Marvin,” said Casey.
“See you tomorrow, Prince,” said Judy.
The two girls ran away, giggling.
Marvin looked at the quarter. He wished Clarence hadn’t given it to him.
“A quarter is nothing to a prince,” said Stuart. “Do you know how much your allowance is going to be?”
“A hundred dollars a week?” guessed Nick.
“More,” said Stuart.
“A thousand?” asked Marvin.
Stuart shook his head. Then he said, “Your weight in gold.”
Nick whistled.
“You should eat more,” said Stuart. “The more you weigh, the bigger your allowance.”
“You could have three ice cream sundaes a day,” said Nick.
“Four,” said Stuart.
“Five,” said Nick.
“Six!” said Marvin.
“C’mon,” said Stuart. “Let’s go to your house and call up your father.”
“Why?” asked Marvin. His father worked at an office in Washington, D.C.
“The King of Shampoon,” said Stuart.
“Oh, my father!” said Marvin.
“Duh,” said Nick.
They went to Marvin’s house. He tapped the red post as he walked through the gate.
They went straight to the phone in the kitchen. Stuart gave Marvin the number to call.
Marvin looked at the phone.
“Don’t you want to call him?” asked Stuart.
“Sure, I do,” said Marvin.
He wasn’t sure.
“Well, do it,” said Nick.
“I will,” Marvin said. “Don’t rush me.” He picked up the phone.
“What are you going to say?” asked Nick.
Marvin took a deep breath, then dialed the number.
“Are you going to call him Dad?” asked Nick.
A woman answered the phone. “How may I direct your call, please?” she asked.
“I would like to speak to His Royal Highness, the King of Shampoon, please,” said Marvin.
“Oh, that’s good,” said Nick.
“I’m sorry, the King isn’t here. May I help you?” said the woman.
“It’s me!” exclaimed Marvin. “I’m the King’s son. The one he’s looking for.”
“And your name?”
“My name?” Marvin smiled at Nick and Stuart. “Prince Robert.”
The woman laughed. “That may very well be,” she said. “However, we’ve received lots of calls. Do you go by a different name?”
“Oh,” said Marvin. “Marvin Redpost.”
“And when can you come in for your test?”
“My test?”
“Yes, a blood test.”
“Oh,” said Marvin. “I was afraid I’d have to know the capital of Shampoon, or stuff like that.”
The woman laughed. “No, it’s not that kind of test,” she said.
Marvin liked the way the woman laughed. It sounded almost as if she was singing.
“How about eleven o’clock tomorrow?” she asked.
“I have school,” said Marvin.
“Four-thirty?” asked the woman.
“Okay,” said Marvin.
She told him where to go for the test.
It was at the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C. Fifth floor.
“Excuse me. Are you my mother?” asked Marvin.
“What?”
“The Queen?” asked Marvin.
She laughed again. “No,” she said. “I’m just—” She stopped. “I’m Lady Jennifer, Duchess of Bathwater.”
“Oh,” said Marvin. “Well, it was very nice talking to you, Lady Jennifer.”
“It was nice talking to you, Marvin. I hope you really are Prince Robert. I like you.”
Marvin hung up the phone. “Tomorrow at 4:30,” he told his two best friends. “Now all I have to do is get my Mom to take me there.”
Chapter 6
A New Car for Mrs. Redpost
Marvin was sitting at the dinner table. Mrs. Redpost had made chicken tacos. His favorite.
He hoped she wasn’t really a kidnapper. Then he’d have to lock her in the dungeon.
“Mr. and Mrs. Redpost,” he said. “I have something important to tell you.”
Mr. Redpost crunched into a taco. The juice ran down his sleeve.
“Mr. and Mrs. Redpost?” asked Mrs. Redpost.
“Linzy. Jake. You need to hear this too,” said Marvin.
He took a breath. He wasn’t quite sure how to say it.
“Well?” said Jacob.
“Marvin Redpost is dead,” said Marvin.
Jacob laughed.
Mr. and Mrs. Redpost stared at him.
“And when did this happen?” asked Mr. Redpost.
“About nine years ago,” said Marvin.
“Well, I must say,” Mrs. Redpost noted, “you are looking quite well, considering.”
Then she and Mr. Redpost cracked up.
Linzy burst into tears. “I love you, Marvin,” she sobbed. “Don’t be dead.”
“Don’t cry, Linzy,” said Marvin. “I’m not dead. Marvin Redpost is dead. I’m not Marvin Redpost.”
Linzy kept crying.
“You’re not?” asked Mr. Redpost.
Marvin explained the whole thing to his family. How the kidnappers hid the baby prince in the hospital where Marvin Redpost was born. Then Marvin Redpost died, but they had an extra baby lying around, so they gave it to Mr. and Mrs. Redpost.
“Well, it all sounds very logical,” Mr. Redpost agreed.
Linzy stopped crying, but her lower lip still trembled.
Marvin felt sorry for her. It is always hardest on the children.
“I’ve got red hair and blue eyes,” Marvin said. “Everyone else in this family has brown hair and brown eyes.”
“So what do you plan to do about this?” asked Mrs. Redpost.
“Stuart got the phone number from the news,” said Marvin. “I called it. I spoke to Lady Jennifer, Duchess of Bathwater.”
Marvin stopped. Now came the hard part.
“I’m supposed to go to the Watergate Hotel tomorrow at 4:30. For a blood test. Can you please take me there, Mrs. Redpost?”
She looked at him.
“I know it’s asking a lot,” said Marvin. “Especially since you’re not my mother. But I’m sure the King would be very grateful. He’ll probably pay for the gas. I bet he’d even buy you a new car.”
“I’ll be happy to,” said Mrs. Redpost.
“Thank you,” said Marvin.
“I’m going to miss you, Marvin,” said Mrs. Redpost.
Chapter 7
They’re All Exactly Like You!
The next afternoon Marvin sat in his room, waiting to go. He wondered what he should take. Maybe he should pack a suitcase.
“Wait a second,” he said. “It’s not like I can’t come back here.”
Prince Robert could do anything!
He could come back later for all his junk. Or better yet, send a servant for it.
“Do you want to live in a castle, General?” he asked his lizard.
General Jackson stuck out his tongue.
Jacob came in. “I just thought of something, Mar,” he said. “Maybe Mom and Dad are really the kidnappers.”
“I thought about that too,” said Marvin. “But then she wouldn’t take me for the blood test. It’d be too risky.”
“Unless. …” said Jacob.
“What?”
“Unless she’s not really going to take you.”
“What do you mean?”
“No, never mind,” said Jacob. “If she
killed you, she’d have to kill me and Linzy too. She wouldn’t do that.”
“Probably not,” Marvin agreed. “Not Linzy, anyway.”
“Marvin!” shouted Linzy from the bottom of the stairs. “Time to go!”
They got in the car.
Jacob and Linzy were going along. They planned to meet Mr. Redpost for dinner in the city.
“You’re welcome to come to dinner too, Prince,” said Mrs. Redpost. “If you’re not too busy.”
“Thank you,” replied Marvin. “But I imagine I’ll have a lot to do.”
He knew Mr. and Mrs. Redpost didn’t believe he was Prince Robert. He saw the way they had smiled at each other when he told them about it.
They probably thought it was just some kid-thing he was doing.
That was okay. Just so long as Mrs. Redpost was taking him to the Watergate Hotel. It didn’t matter what she thought.
“You won’t play baseball anymore,” said Jacob. “You’ll have to learn how to play polo.”
“I can play polo,” said Linzy.
“You can not,” said Jacob.
“I can too,” said Linzy. “Marco.”
“Polo,” said Marvin.
“Marco,” said Linzy.
“Polo,” said Marvin.
Marvin played “polo” with Linzy all the way to the hotel. It was a stupid game, but he didn’t mind.
He was going to miss playing stupid games with Linzy.
Mrs. Redpost parked the car at the Watergate Hotel. They walked across the parking lot and into the lobby.
“No! I don’t want to!” a boy shouted. He had red hair.
The boy’s mother was dragging him across the lobby.
“Come on!” she yelled.
The boy was crying.
“We’ll be rich,” said the mother.
“But I’m not Prince Robert!” the boy cried.
“Shut up, Arnold!” said his mother. “Someone might hear you.” She pulled him into the elevator.
Marvin and the Redposts got into the elevator too.
The woman looked at Marvin. “Who do you think you are?” she asked in a nasty voice.
Marvin was too afraid to answer.
“You are speaking to Prince Robert,” said Mrs. Redpost, sticking up for him.
Marvin smiled at his former mother. Mrs. Redpost patted his head.
“I’m not that stupid prince,” said the other boy. “I don’t even have red hair. My mother made me dye it.”
“Shut up, Arnold,” said the nasty woman.
They got off the elevator and walked to the suite at the end of the hall. The door was open.
Linzy laughed. “They’re all exactly like you, Marvin!”
Marvin entered the room. He had never seen so many red-haired boys in all his life.
Chapter 8
Number 812
A man in a white coat stepped out from behind a door. “Number seven sixty-seven,” he called.
A red-haired boy followed him back through the door.
“You sure you’ll be okay?” asked Mrs. Redpost.
Marvin nodded.
“Okay. We’ll be back in about an hour.” She kissed Marvin.
Marvin watched the Redposts leave. They were a nice family.
There was a line of red-haired boys going up to a desk. Marvin got on the end of the line.
“We were here first!” said the nasty woman from the elevator. She cut in line in front of Marvin, dragging her son with her.
Marvin let them in. It didn’t matter who was first. There was only one Prince Robert.
The man in the white coat came back out. “Seven sixty-eight,” he called.
Another red-haired boy followed him through the door.
“When you’re Prince Robert, you can do anything!” the nasty woman told her son. “Just sit on your throne all day, eat candy, and boss people around.”
The man in the white coat came out several more times.
“Seven sixty-nine.”
“Seven seventy.”
“Seven seventy-one.”
Each time another red-haired boy followed him through the door.
Marvin was almost to the front of the line.
The woman behind the desk was wearing big gold earrings. As Marvin got closer he noticed that one earring was shaped like a dog. The other was a cat.
“Next,” said the lady with the earrings.
The nasty woman and Arnold stepped to the front of the line.
“Your name?” muttered the earring lady. She seemed tired and bored.
“Arnold Miller,” answered the nasty woman.
“Eight eleven,” said the earring lady. She handed Arnold a slip of paper. “Next.”
“Your name?”
“Marvin Redpost.”
The earring lady looked up, and her face turned bright. “Oh, hi, Marvin!”
Marvin looked at her. “Hi,” he said, unsure.
“I’m Jennifer,” said the earring lady.
“Oh, hi!” said Marvin. “I mean—I am delighted to make your acquaintance, Lady Jennifer, Duchess of Bathwater.” He bowed.
Jennifer laughed.
It was that same musical laugh he heard over the telephone.
“I’m not really a duchess,” she said. “I just made that up. This is a part-time job.”
“Oh,” said Marvin.
“I wouldn’t want to be a duchess anyway,” said Jennifer. “It sounds so stuffy and boring. All that—” She stopped, then said, “I guess you want to be a prince, and that’s okay. But it’s not for me.”
She wrinkled her nose.
Marvin shrugged. “I like your earrings,” he said.
Jennifer laughed. “Thank you, Marvin. Well, good luck.”
She gave him number 812.
He thanked her.
“You’re welcome,” said Jennifer. “You know what I like about you, Marvin?” she asked. “You’re polite. No one else has said thank you to me all day.”
“What happens when they call your number?” he asked her.
“You just go back for a blood test. To find out your blood type. The King and Queen have blood type O negative. So that means Prince Robert has to have blood type O negative too. It’s pretty rare. Most people are type A or B. And almost everyone is positive, not negative.”
“So then what happens?” asked Marvin.
“Well, if you’re A or B, you’re sent home. If you’re O negative, you do a second blood test. It’s called an HLA test.
It’s a lot more complicated. But it will tell for certain if you’re Prince Robert.”
“So they haven’t found Prince Robert yet?” asked Marvin.
“No.” She shrugged. “Otherwise we wouldn’t be here. I don’t think they’ll ever find him. The odds are one in a million.”
Marvin found it all a little confusing.
“Just hope your blood type is O negative,” said Jennifer. “That’s the first step.”
Chapter 9
Blood Test
Marvin waited with all the other red-haired boys. He thought about what Linzy had said. “They’re all exactly like you, Marvin!”
He knew that wasn’t true. He was different. Special. He was the one and only Prince Robert.
He looked at his slip of paper.
812
He noticed one of the other boys had a yellow number. Everyone else’s was black, like his.
“Eight eleven,” called the man in the white coat.
Marvin watched the nasty woman drag Arnold through the door.
“I don’t want to get a shot!” Arnold screamed.
A short while later the man returned. “Eight twelve.”
Marvin stood up. Jennifer smiled and waved to him.
He walked through the door.
Marvin watched the man unwrap a new needle. Then he looked away.
If he didn’t watch, it didn’t hurt.
The man stuck the needle into Marvin’s arm.
Once it was in, i
t was okay to look. Marvin watched his blood flow out of his arm and slowly fill the tube. It felt weird watching his own blood.
“Thank you,” Marvin said when the man was through.
“What?” asked the man. “Oh. You’re welcome.”
Marvin took his tube of blood through another door to the lab. He saw his number, 812, typed on the outside of the tube.
He gave the tube to a woman with glasses, then waited while she examined his blood.
She returned a short time later and handed him a new slip of paper. On it was written:
812
O negative
Royal blood!
Chapter 10
One in a Million
“You’ll have to take another blood test,” said the woman with glasses. “You’ll need to give a lot more blood this time.”
“Why didn’t they just take more blood the first time?” asked Marvin.
“It’s a lot easier this way,” the woman explained. “We see about a thousand kids a day. Fewer than fifty are O negative. So this way we only have to do about fifty HLA tests instead of a thousand.”
She told Marvin to go back to the front desk and get a new number. A yellow number, this time.
He walked back out to the main room. It was still full of red-haired boys. They’re all exactly like you, Marvin! Linzy had said.
Now, more than ever, he knew that wasn’t true. The proof was in his hand.
He got on line to get a new number from Jennifer. A yellow number.
“Eight thirty-nine,” called the man in the white coat.
The nasty woman was leaving with her son.
“Can’t you ever do anything right!” she shouted.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” said Arnold. “I told you I wasn’t a prince.”
“Shut up and get in the elevator,” said the nasty woman.
Marvin thought about Mrs. Redpost. He was glad she wasn’t like that woman.
He remembered the time she tried to teach him to ice-skate. She was worse than he was. They both kept falling down. It was funny. But they both learned to ice-skate—sort of.
Marvin smiled as he remembered. They had hot chocolate afterward.
He thought about Jacob and Linzy. He thought about the house, with the red post in front.
Mr. Redpost painted that post once a year.
He looked at the slip of paper in his hand.
812