“What about this one?” I ask, pulling a pale blue shift dress from the rack.
“I like the colour, it’ll suit you.” He takes the dress from me and holds it under my chin. “Yes, the colour’s really you, highlights your eyes. I like it! I think I like you in blue.”
I check the size. “I’m going to try it on.”
I look towards the sales assistant and point towards what looks like the changing rooms. She nods but carries on talking.
I enter the curtained-off changing room and hang the dress and my bag on the hook provided. I slip off my jeans and then pull my top off. As I do, the curtain is pulled back by the assistant, my back is to her… “Can I be of any hel—” she starts to say but stops, I think having seen my back.
She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence. “Get out!” I shout. “Get out.”
She just stands there. James is by her side in a flash. “The lady said to move away, please now, move!”
The girl does as she is asked and moves back to her desk. I turn towards James who has his arms outstretched. “Come here,” he says, and I fall into them.
“I want to go home. Please take me home!” I cry into his shoulder.
James picks my clothes up and helps me dress.
“Did she see anything?” he asks as he passes me my clothes.
“I think so, my back was to her,” I whimper, and he nods in acknowledgement. I feel terrible for making a scene.
As we walk out of the store, he stops at the little desk. “In future, young lady, I would suggest that you ask if any of your customers need help from the other side of the curtain. What you have just done is darn right rude, it’s unforgivable. We won’t be coming back, I’m sure Alex would have bought that dress and more, but not now, never again.”
The girl just stares. “I’m sorry,” she says.
“Too late,” James hisses as he marches me out of the store. “Too late.”
“Take me home, please,” I beg. I feel so insecure about my back. I know there are people out there who are far more scarred than me, have far worse injuries but this, but I’m just so ashamed, so ashamed that I didn’t leave Lewis.
James puts his arm around my waist. He holds me closely as we walk along the footpath a little way until he spots a cab. He waves his hand to the driver and helps me in, giving my Chelsea address. I’ve never felt so embarrassed – I remember he asked me a few days ago, when he first saw my back, how I’d managed to avoid anyone else seeing it. Well, now he knows how difficult that has been over the years.
As the taxi trundles along, I rest my head on his shoulder. I’m gutted and I feel dirty, although I’ve no reason to. He holds me close for the whole journey, neither of us saying a word. He doesn’t have to speak, I can tell from the way he’s holding me, his face, his beautiful face, he looks angry and hurt. I feel protected, secure and it’s a strange feeling because since the day my mum gave my hand to Lewis I’ve never felt like this. The day my mum gave me to the care of the bastard I felt like I’d stopped being cared for, although I doubt she didn’t stop caring, she just didn’t show it.
Lewis would snarl if my mum so much as gave me a hug, so she stopped. In her old-fashioned way she decided to keep out of my marriage. If only she’d not been so prim and proper, maybe the last twenty-two years wouldn’t have happened. Can I blame her, or Maggie? Is it their fault? Probably not! It’s mine! I’m the one who caused all this, I’m the one who didn’t have the guts to say “enough’s enough”.
The taxi pulls up outside of my home. James gets out first and helps me, he pays the driver and we make our way through my shiny front door. Once inside, he pulls me close and just holds me for what feels like eternity. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
“I’m fine,” I say, but I’m not. I’m ashamed, humiliated and embarrassed. I am trying so hard to move on with my life, to put the past behind me, but there’s always something, someone determined to stop me. I’m so cross that I let that girl get the better of me. I should have ignored it and carried on. It’s me that’s the problem not the damn scar.
“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a burn, but it clearly is an iron and the brand is not accidental looking,” I say as he holds me.
“We can get it looked at. You know that guy who looked after you in the restaurant?”
I nod.
“He gave me his card, he’s a plastic surgeon,” he explains.
I pull myself out of his arms and head towards the living room. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. What I need now is a large vodka and cranberry.”
“I’ll fix it, go and sit down,” he orders.
I do as I am told and curl up on the huge sofa. James appears shortly after with a large deep pink drink, the crystal glass tinkling with ice.
“Not having one?” I ask.
“No, a bit early for me,” he says as he flops down next me.
“Tell me about you, James… I don’t really know much about you, other than how Maggie found you.” I look up at him.
“There’s not much to tell, other than I’ve always been in the hospitality industry.”
“Where were you born?” I ask.
“Italy.” He surprises me.
“Do I have to ask open questions, or are you going to tell me a little about yourself?” I ask.
“You don’t need to know.” He laughs.
“I do. I’ve already gone against all the rules I set for Anna, about boys and things. I would go ape shit if I thought she’d been intimate with a boy she knew nothing about, and yet I’ve done it. It’s double standards, not good, not good at all!” I’m feeling a little better already, probably the vodka!
He looks at me and stretches his arm open. “Come here.” He pulls me into him and I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I was born in Italy, but raised here in the UK. My dad was Italian through and through but as you know we lost him, I was just eighteen when he died. My mother was – is – English, hence my very English name. After I was born, my mother apparently insisted that I was raised in the UK so my dad and her moved back here with me. I am told that I was only six months old when she upped and left. I don’t remember her, all I have is a photograph, and that’s well over thirty years old.” He tells me his life in a few words, his tone very matter of fact.
“I’m so sorry, James.” I run my hand over his muscles through his shirt.
“My dad was brilliant. He worked in the hospitality industry.”
“With Roberto?” I ask.
“Yes, they were partners in the bistro that Roberto still runs, that’s how come I worked there. They were like brothers. It hurt Roberto just as much as me when my dad went.” He looks so sad as he tells me about his dad.
“How did he die, James?”
“He was mugged. Whoever the bastard was that did it caught him well off guard, he hit his head on the kerb and never regained consciousness. I was his next of kin. I remember sitting with Roberto and Gia, his wife, and taking the decision to turn that damn machine off.” He looks away.
I sit up. “Oh James, I am so, so sorry. No-one, let alone an eighteen year old, should have to go through that.”
“I wasn’t alone, Alex.” He smiles. “I had Roberto and Gia. I stayed with them for a little while. They don’t have children, they sort of adopted me, I suppose, or did I adopt them?” He laughs.
“They were very lucky. What was your dad’s name?” I ask him.
“My Dad was called Lucca. And no, I was lucky. They’re both amazing. You must meet them, they’ll think the world of you, they really will. I’ve told them about you already. Do you want to go there tonight, for dinner? I know they’re desperate to meet you,” he says.
“Why not? I’ll check on Anna, make sure she’s okay and not going on the lash again.”
I feel a little brighter, I’ve put things into perspective. Yes, I’ve got scars, I don’t like them and that girl in the dress shop, well… I suppose I’ll get over it, but hav
ing to take the decision to end a parent’s life, to end anyone’s life, and especially at the age of just eighteen – that’s bad, really bad.
Moving away from the sofa, I fetch my handbag and dig around for my mobile. I check the screen. I’ve a new text, I didn’t hear that ping. Opening the text message, it’s from Lewis, even though he’s not supposed to contact me directly. I open it anyway and immediately regret doing so.
U fucking bitch. 1/2 of Maggie’s money is mine, it’s mine. Watch ur fucking back U bitch.
I gasp and throw my hand over my mouth.
“What’s up?” James stands and walks towards me. I hold out my phone. He reads the text and mutters some expletives under his breath. “Bastard! Don’t reply to this, Alex, I’ll let the police know. Have you got the officer’s card? I had one but I’ve left it in my office,” he asks.
“I think so.” I rummage through my handbag again and find the card at the bottom.
“Go and have a shower, Alex, or whatever you’ve got to do. I’ll make the call, then we’ll go out.” He’s taking charge again, in a good way.
I’m shaking and just look up at him. “Shower,” he says again firmly. “It’ll do you good – go on.” He points towards the stairs.
I start my way up the stairs to my room and look back at James, who has his mobile in one hand and the police officer’s card in the other. He looks at me. “Shower, now… Leave this to me, Alex, just go and get done.”
“I should be me making that call,” I say softly. “It’s my problem, not yours, I should be dealing with it. I should be stronger!”
“Blossom, just go and have a shower! It’s a phone call, nothing else. The officers saw how you were when they sorted him out, they know you’re vulnerable – well, as far as he is concerned. Please, please just let me take care of you, please.”
I turn away and start up the stairs, I only take a few steps up. No! It’s my problem. I turn back down towards the hall, I can hear James talking as I march into the kitchen.
“James, can I have the phone.” I hold out my hand to take the phone from him. He looks shocked, “Phone James, please! I want to speak with the police myself!”
“Can you hold a moment,” he says to whoever he’s speaking with and slowly hands the phone to me, a slight smile across his beautiful lips as I speak to the police officer explaining what’s happened. Once I’ve relayed the information I clear the call and hand the phone back to James feeling, well empowered. Alex Drake, I can do this. I know that my life will continue to change for the better. I just can’t be doing with the hassle and the hatred that is being inflicted on me as we go along. Lewis is showing his true colours, this time for everyone to see, not just me. Part of me wishes that my secrets remained secret, yet another part of me is so pleased that this is all out in the open. Shower, Alex, I tell myself.
Feeling so proud of myself and confident I head of back to my en-suite and turn the shower on. I undress slowly and flick through my wardrobe for something suitable for this evening. It’s warm, so I decide on a terracotta silk dress that I added to my collection when shopping with Anna when we first moved to London; it’s a really pretty little dress with a bow at the front.
I sort out a matching set of white bra and knickers and a pair of creamy coloured heels. Job done, shower next.
The shower is lovely and I just stand there letting the water caress and soothe me. I squeeze a blob of shampoo into my palm and close my eyes as I work it into a lather, it feels divine as the water washes the suds away. I open my eyes to reach for the conditioner and standing before me is My James in his naked glory, his presence initially making me jump a little. “I… I didn’t hear you come in,” I say quietly. His chest is magnificent, his stomach ripped, and those arms… the hours he must have put in to achieve that body.
“I thought I might share with you,” he says as he walks into the shower.
He positions himself directly under the showerhead until he is drenched and then without warning grabs me around the waist, we kiss, his lips are soft and firm, his tongue forges its way into my mouth and I open for him, his kiss is hot and deep. He moves his hands up over my waist and across my hips my, his touch is feather light, teasing every inch of me as he makes his way to my breasts, he cups me gently and squeezes my nipple hard, I moan. He moves his mouth to my neck, he’s nipping and sucking my neck and collar bone
He releases me and I look into his eyes. His pupils are large. I focus, breathing deeply, and he moves one hand under my backside and pulls me up against the wall. “Wrap your legs around me, baby,” he whispers.
I pull my legs up and wrap them around his hips, all the time looking into those dark eyes. We make the most beautiful, sensual love imaginable, slow and erotic, tender and gentle.
He lowers me to the floor and I remove my legs from around him. He holds me gently. “I can’t get enough of you,” he whispers. “You complete me, totally.”
“Hmmm,” I whisper in his ear. I can’t find any words right now. The last few weeks, since James and I were first intimate together, have been epic. There are no words to describe it. I think for the first time in my adult life I too have felt complete.
Chapter 13
James pulls the Audi to a stop outside the little bistro. It is small but looks very busy. A double-fronted place, the door in the middle of two large bay windows, it’s a pretty little place with the woodwork painted white. The signage simply says “Amici”.
“What does Amici mean?” I ask.
He smiles. “Friends, it just means friends.”
He holds the door open for me and as we walk in I’m immediately aware that the place is much bigger than it looks from outside, there must be twenty tables. It’s rustic, the scrubbed wooden tables and plain ladder-back chairs with green large gingham check pads. There’s a wooden staircase, which I guess leads to an upstairs seating area.
As we wait to be seated, a tall older gentleman walks towards us. “James… James, my boy, it’s so good to see you again.” He smiles as he walks towards us both.
I observe the outstretched arms of the man, whom I assume to be Roberto, striding towards us. He hugs James briefly and then looks at me. He’s grey haired and olive skinned, I guess he must be late sixties or early seventies, although he has a fine figure for an older gentleman and he looks very slim underneath his crisp white shirt and black trousers. Andrea Bocelli is singing Vivo Per Lei in the background, the place is buzzing.
“Your friend, Alex?” he says. There is a little accent, not heavy, but definitely there.
“Roberto, this is Alexandra Drake. Alex, Roberto.” He places his arms on my shoulders.
“It’s good to meet you, Alexandra. You must be Maggie’s… niece?” The older man smiles as he extends his hand. I take it and he holds it firmly, no shake.
“Yes, I am. James has told me such a lot about you.” I smile.
“Oh, I hope it’s all good.” He laughs. “Come, I have a table for you.”
We follow him through the back of the bistro, which is almost full, to a little table right by the kitchen. It’s open plan – I can see several chefs working on various dishes, there is a traditional brick pizza oven in one area and what looks like a large hob, and all of the chefs are busy.
We sit and Roberto gives us both a menu. “I’ll fetch some wine. Red?” he asks.
“Great, thanks.” James looks up at the man he tells me he adopted. He smiles, there’s obviously a close a bond that I guess must have been forged when James decided to allow his father to pass. There must have been so many pieces to pick up, pieces that were put back together by this couple, of whom James is very clearly fond.
I study the menu, a typical Italian menu full of wonderful-sounding dishes. “What’s good?” I ask.
“It’s all very good. Shall I order for us both?” he asks.
“No!” I look up at him from behind my menu, “I choose the starter, you choose the main, and I choose the Insalata Esotica.” I smile. H
e laughs at me, “I would have chosen that anyway!”
I place my menu to the side and look at my lover, the man who has, over these past few weeks, shown me that I am still worthy of a loving, sexual relationship. A man who has shown me that despite how Lewis made me feel, worthless and ugly, I am still attractive. That sex can be mind-blowingly powerful.
He has reignited the passion I felt as a young woman, before I had Anna, and shown me things that I have never before experienced, things that Lewis, in the days when he still made love to me, if he ever did, never allowed me to experience. Sex with Lewis was always very much one sided, Victorian. It wasn’t about the feelings that I might have experienced, it was just about him, and once Anna came along, well, he just found his pleasure elsewhere, with women who were happy for a one-sided relationship, all that Lewis seems capable of. As I sit here I feel very, very special.
I am swiftly brought back from deep within my thoughts by the arrival of Roberto, a bottle of red wine and two large glasses.
“I chose this one for you.” He shows James a bottle of Chianti. “This comes from San Leonino. Would you like to try, James?” he asks.
“No, if you chose it I have no doubt it will be excellent.” He chuckles.
Roberto shrugs his shoulders modestly and fills our glasses half full with the sweetly spiced wine. I take a sip first.
“Oh, this is wonderful.”
“I told you, Roberto knows his wines.” James raises his glass to Roberto. “Saluti!”
Roberto nods at us both and leaves the bottle in the middle of the table. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to take your order.” He turns and busies himself with clearing tables.
Soon, every table is occupied and the people going up and down the stairs confirm my thoughts that there must also be seating up there. It’s a little on the noisy side and I find I have to listen very carefully to James.
Freeing Alex (The Alexandra Drake Series) Page 19